September 12, 2005 by s.z.

Stupid Thoughts From All Over Scouring the wingnutosphere for stupidity, so you don't have to! 1.  First, here's the latest news about everybody's favorite sexually-beleaguered college student, VBen Shapiro: it seems that he's going to be on Joseph Farah's radio show today!  (It's part of WorldNetDaily's push to sell the latest edition of their magazine, which is about S-E-X on campus.) Here's part of the WorldNetDaily announcement: The real meaning of college B.S. Student author Ben Shapiro joins 'Farah Live' on campus corruption There's no doubt about it. "American college life has become a course at "Perversion U." Hey, if WND's Whistleblower Magazine says as much, then there is no doubt about it! What's behind the menace of sexual abuse and indocrtrination? Fraternities?  Commies?  Satan?  Bill O'Reilly?  How are your kids being threatened on a daily basis? Quite nicely, thanks. Find out as Ben Shapiro, a college student and author of "Brainwashed: How Universities Indoctrinate America's Youth," hits the airwaves with Joseph Farah today on his nationally syndicated radio show. Hey, I would listen just to hear what VBen knows about my kids being threatened with sex on a daily basis, but since it's my birthday, I have a doctor's excuse which gets me out of it. 2.  And speaking of Bill O'Reilly, here's part of his latest Talking Points Memo: "Feeling Sorry for O'Reilly." So I'm making a sympathy plea here, are you ready? Over the past 10 days, I've gotten amazing amount of criticism from both the left and the right. The Kool-Aid people are going nuts. Feel bad for me yet? No. Bill, because you bring it all on yourself by being such a thin-skinned, loud-mouthed, opinionated jackass.  I didn't think so. Hey you were right about something!  I'll note it on the calendar. But it's interesting to demonstrate what a certain segment of America is like. The absolute bottom of the barrel are the crazy Web sites. Bill, here's a tip (and feel free to use it in your next book, The O'Reilly Factor for Embryos): Don't have your staff do Google searches of your name if you are going to get your feelings hurt by what people on the Internet (i.e., "the absolute bottom of the barrel") are saying about you. One far left blog says, "Desperate to take the heat off Bush, O'Reilly blames the poor in Hurricane Katrina." Yes, that would be the "far left blog" News Hounds.  It also said that you lied, Bill.  Why didn't you mention that? Now the right one after me, after I criticized the price gouging by the oil companies. "Bill O'Reilly is an Economic Fool," headlined one blog. And that would be The Conservative Voice, which believes, a la Stossel, that price gougers are true American heroes, and that oil companies are obligated to make obscene profits in order to benefit the poor widows who rely on their stock dividends to buy their meager meals of cat food and stale bread.  So, it's to Bill's credit that Dr. Mick thinks Bill is an economic fool -- although he gets all that credit taken away for reading The Conservative Voice, which is at least a couple of steps below Renew America. But the best was far left loon Nickie Think writing in The L.A. Weekly: "Bill O'Reilly, who spent last month verbally abusing the grieving mother of a dead Iraqi war soldier, then whiled away the early days of Katrina's aftermath giving lip to New Orleans looters and shooters and then basically blamed the hurricane's poorest victims for expecting any government help at all." And that totally isn't what Bill did.  Sure, he spent last month verbally abusing Cindy Sheehan, and he did tell the hurricane victims that they shouldn't have expected any government help at all, and then informed them that if they had gone to college and joined the middle class then they wouldn't have had to rely on the government for help, but, um ... Nickie Think is a loon! Feeling sorry for me yet? Look, all this dishonest nonsense is ideologically driven. And it appears all day every day in this country, there are no standards anymore in the media. Bloggers and reporters criticizing Bill O'Reilly = no standards anymore in the media.  Bill O'Reilly slamming bloggers and reporters = fair and balanced news reporting. But the good news is that folks are seeing through the propaganda and coming into venues that tell the truth and deliver opinion backed up by fact. Once again, The Factor and FOX News have dominated the hurricane coverage on cable. And we appreciate your making that happen. Of course, the Kool-Aid people are just beside themselves, but we continue to roll along. So really, there isn't any sympathy needed. To summarize: Some "bottom of the barrel" people disagreed with Bill, and it really hurt his feelings, and you should feel sorry for him, since he tries so hard, and works his fingers to the bone for you, the folks -- but he doesn't need your pity, you fool, since he works for the colossal Fox News and has the most-watched show on a cable news channel, and he's the god, HE'S THE GOD!  3.  And speaking of great minds, here are a few selections from Nicholas Stix's Intellectual Conservative column, Non-Questions About New Orleans. In grad school, I always marveled at how some of my classmates knew exactly what questions not to ask. One contemporary academic non-question is, “Why, if black IQs are on average 15 points lower than white IQs, and the Constitution forbids unequal treatment under the law, would the government routinely hire people based on their being black, rather than based on their qualifications?” It’s a non-question; no one may ask it. Forget that you even read it here.  Nick goes on to ask other questions along those same lines, all designed to refer to something we all know but don't dare say: that blacks are inferior to whites. In that spirit, I have a compiled a series of “non-questions” regarding New Orleans. They only appear to be questions, but aren’t because I am not asking them, thus no answer is expected. I am just listing them so that it is clear that they may not be asked. Hey, in order to help out Nick, I'll respond with a few questions of my own.  He deserves as much for being so brave, non-PC, and moronic. 2. Why were so many thugs shooting and looting and raping and murdering on the streets of New Orleans and at the Superdome when a natural disaster hit town? If thugs were shooting, looting, and raping in the Superdome when the hurricane hit, how come this is the first that anyone has heard of it? 4. Why were virtually all of the looters and murderers and rapists and carjackers black?  Why are most of the poor people in the area black? 5. Since it is a well-known fact that blacks can only be the victims, but never the perpetrators of racism, should we damn as racists the white and Asian foreign tourists who said they were being terrorized in the Superdome and on the streets of New Orleans based on the color of their skin, ignore their complaints, “disappear” alleged black-on-white and black-on-Asian crimes committed in the aftermath of Katrina, and arrest the tourists for racial insensitivity and hate crimes? Since it's a well-known fact that racists try to compensate for their own feelings of inadequacy by disparaging other groups of people, would that product that advertises "natural male enhancement" be of any interest to you, Nick? 7. Is President Bush getting so roundly criticized by the media and black political activists for not taking over rescue efforts sooner, because he is a white, heterosexual, Republican male, whereas Mayor Nagin is a black Democrat and Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco is a female Democrat? Does the President of the United have more power than a mayor or a governor?  Have we ever had a black or female President?  Why did NIck include President Bush's sexual orientation in this question -- is he implying that Mayor Nagin and Governor Blanco are homosexuals? 12. Had Pres. Bush, in the face of Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco’s incompetence, taken over rescue efforts days ago, would the President now be enduring the same criticisms he is now receiving, or worse criticisms? When did President Bush stop beating his wife? 13. How can federal authorities such as FEMA take over the role of first-responders, as the attacks on the feds have implied they should have, if the police and fire persons are all locals, and it takes days for FEMA to arrive on the scene? Why do we have a federal emergency management administration that takes days to arrive at the scene of an emergency?  Could it have anything to do with the person the President appointed to lead it? As I said at the outset, the above sentences are non-questions. They are not to be asked, let alone answered, least of all by yours truly. They are all off-limits -- if you know what’s good for you! Forget you ever read this column. Oh, if only I could -- but I think I'm going to remember something this stupid for at least a week. 3:02:34 AM

Future Historians Will Say Bush Is a Great President, Unless They Say He's a Miserable Failure James Taranto, editor of the Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal, wrote a piece for the OpinionJournal in order to plug his book Presidential Leadership (which just came out in paperback).  It's called "Presidential Leadership: How's He Doing? George W. Bush is 'average,' but far from ordinary." Thesis: Scholars rank George W. Bush as an above average president, except for the liberal ones, who think he's below average -- but if Bush achieves his goal and spreads democracy throughout the Middle East, people will say he's a great president.  However, even if his policies prove to have brought as all a lot closer to Armageddon, he will still be seen as a really great president, because nobody cares what you liberals think. Excerpts: Ask someone to describe the presidency of George W. Bush, and "average" is not a word you're likely to hear. Mr. Bush's detractors treat him with a level of vituperation unseen since the days of Franklin D. Roosevelt; some even blame him for bad weather. Yeah, they blame him for Katrina.  Say, Taranto, when you have to steal points from Kaye Grogan, you really don't deserve space in the WSJ. His admirers don't go so far as to credit him when the sun shines, but their affection for him is palpable. Yes, you can palpate their affection like the doctor does a diseased kidney. So it may come as a surprise that in a new survey of scholars ranking the presidents, Mr. Bush finishes almost exactly in the middle of the pack.  I'm not surprised, since I read this the last time Taranto pushed his book. GOP-leaning scholars rated Mr. Bush the 6th-best president of all time, while Democratic ones rated him No. 35, or 6th-worst. Of course, the GOP-leaning scholars are unbiased sages of great wisdom and judgment who have determined that Bush is just slightly less great than Lincoln, Washington, and FDR.  However, the Democratic ones are partisan hacks who get their orders from Moscow. If this result reflects the passions of the moment, how will history judge George W. Bush? So, we're assuming that after the apocalypse people will care about such things? The three great presidents--Washington, Lincoln and FDR--all faced unprecedented challenges, all responded to them boldly, and all succeeded. Mr. Bush has met the first two of these criteria: The 9/11 attacks were his unprecedented challenge; setting out to democratize the Middle East was his bold response. Will he succeed--not just in bringing stability and representative government to Iraq but in beginning a process that spreads freedom throughout the region? That will determine whether he joins the top tiers of presidents. And if he finds a way to make gasoline from tap water, or gives us immortality, that might also determine whether he joins the top tier of presidents. If he falls short, he may still get credit for trying. I'm sure his mother will give him credit, yeah.  And at least he showed up for most of his presidency, so he should get credit for attendance. One thing that is sure to prove irrelevant to Mr. Bush's legacy is the intensity of today's Angry Left. FDR faced an Angry Right in his day, but Republicans in the survey rank him the 5th-best president. Even Ronald Reagan, out of office less than two decades, ranks a respectable 14th among Democrats. Mr. Bush is a polarizing figure today, but if his policies prove successful over time, even his detractors will grudgingly come around. Hey, just because they aren't working now, it doesn't mean that they couldn't magically prove successful over time.  And what kind of jerks would fail to honor the guy who single-handedly achieved world peace?  So, in conclusion, future history will either say that President Bush was America's fourth-greatest  president, or it will say that he's a pretty-darned good president who tried really hard, but who can't be blaming for how things worked out.  Hey, we might as well write those future history books now, so the kids can start learning from them!  2:50:08 AM