September 9, 2005 by s.z.

Thank Heaven For Wingnuts

I spent the morning gathering toys, blankets, and canned goods to send to the Katrina victims (a local couple are hoping to fill a semi-truck with supplies that they can transport to the affected area).  Then I made about a ton of applesauce (my apple trees finally started producing, and I can't bear to waste food, and applesauce is all I could think to do with them).  And I'm beat.  So, it's a day for low-hanging fruit (so to speak). 

Take it away, Mystery Guest!

To even suggest that President Bush and Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour are responsible for Hurricane Katrina — shows just how far-out some of the radicals on the left have become. And what is worse: is how many people are actually influenced by this type of propaganda and will believe it. If a leader of an occult can convince hundreds of people that if they get ready to lie in state in their best clothes, and then swallow cyanide, a rocket ship is going to arrive to take them to heaven, well — some people can be convinced of anything. And this is the type of people who can be led around by the nose by propagandists.

You remember the case where the leader of an occult convinced hundreds of his followers to lie in state and swallow cyanide, don't you? 

And now the same kind of people (dead ones?) are being led to believe that President Bush controls the weather. (Because if you blame Bush for any lack of leadership or assign him any responsibility for his administration's failed policies, then that's what you must believe.)

If the leftists are ever going to convince people that they are capable of ever making rash decisions again politically, they are going to have to ditch the ridiculous "unbelievable" accusations against President Bush and find a viable platform to run on.

Do the leftists WANT to convince people that they are capable of making rash decisions?  Because that sounds like something that you think they'd be happy to leave to the rightists. 

Did it ever occur to people that the way they are living is bringing God's wrath upon the world?

No, I believe that this is the first time that the idea has ever been voiced, especially in connection with a natural disaster.

This country is too greedy with their minds focused too much on money. Many states are now depending on gambling casinos to keep them wealthy. Was it just coincidental that most of the bars and casinos were leveled to the ground by Katrina?

So, most of the bars and casinos in the country were leveled to the ground by Katrina?  I must have missed that.  (BTW, if our Mystery Guest wanted to prove her theory that God sent the hurricane to wipe out bars and casinos, she could ascertain how many such sinful establishments were leveled, and then compare that with the number of destroyed churches.  I would be interested in the results.)

Will the revenue generated from the bars and casinos be enough to keep the hurricane torn areas operating above the red mark after the damage is tallied up caused by Katrina?

The revenue from the ones that were leveled to the ground?  Um, probably not.

Anyway, there's more, but let's check in with Pastor Swank, since he always has about 12 new columns out every day.

Say, this one sounds interesting:WE WERE ALL ONCE AN EMBRYONIC CELL

Embryonic stem cell research is the same as murder.

Well, nothing too nutty there.  Let's check the next one:

REPLACE REHNQUIST WITH WOMB BABY DEFENDER

A freedom-based nation cannot defend murdering the defenseless children in women’s wombs.

But armed children in men's wombs are fair game!  But since Judge Roberts is a Womb Baby Defender, this isn't exactly a call to revolution.  So, how about some international news? 

The Pastor has that covered too, with SUCCESS FOR FEMALES IN AFGHANISTAN.

Females, once considered worth less than scum by Muslim males, are now coming into their own in Afghanistan, thanks to a democracy planting ongoing.

Scum, formerly valued highly by Muslim males, is now less esteemed, thanks to Bush's freedom spread.  (Mmm, delicious, creamery freedom spread!)

There are 582 females now running for office in the September 18 elections. That’s awesome beyond imagination. Yet it is fact.

Yes, these women are running for the parliamentary seats set aside for women, and they are brave to do so, since some are facing violence, death threats, and other forms of intimidation.  However, the democracy planting is going a little less than awesomely.  Here's part of an interesting Australian piece, Abused and accused, Afghan women make a stand:

The fear is that women MPs will be marginalised or manipulated. One prominent male fundamentalist candidate said that the women would be ignored in parliament and several supposedly reformed male Taliban candidates have condemned what they call the imposition of Western freedoms on Afghan women.

There is speculation the male establishment is marshalling women candidates because seats reserved for women can be won more easily than in the chaotic contest among male candidates.

[...]

The head of the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission, Dr Sima Samar, said: "Sadly some of our women are getting the support of jihadis and they act for them - not for women's interests or groups."

But back to Pastor Swank:

While American liberals breathe in fresh liberty air every dawn, they set landmines for every Republican working night and day to assist those in other countries with the freedom spread.

It’s interesting the contrast, isn’t it?

Say, America, when you get up tomorrow and breakfast on wholesome, high-fibre Grassroots Toast topped with delicious Freedom Spread, don't settle regular, old air.  No, try new Liberty Air!  Now with a touch of mint for extra freshness! 

Oh, and exactly which Republicans are working day and night to assist with the freedom spread?  The Halliburton board of execs, perhaps?

Okay, we have time for one last column:  PEACEFUL ISLAMICS? BUSH WANTS TO KNOW

So is this a hoax or for real? Believe me, time will tell. And actions speak louder than words.

But don't count your chickens before they hatch, because a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  As my mother used to say, "Good lookin' guys are a dime a dozen, you gotta find the one who's goin' give you true lovin.""

Um, what were we talking about? ... Oh, right, the Pastor hasn't told us yet, but we suspect from the title that it has to do with Muslims.

However, at this juncture both are absolutely necessary — coming from Muslims living especially in the United States. Suspicions against Muslims are at an all time high in this country for very good reason.

Because they worship the devil, as the Pastor has informed us previously.

So informed American citizens are very wary of a newly formed group that espouses peace. Another fix? Another lie? Another trump card? Another biding time in order to take us over, kill us off, make Islam the planet’s only fanatic power hold?

Yes, it's another trump card so they can once again kill us all off.  Nice job seeing through their trickery, Pastor!

According to the AP, US President George W. Bush has put Karen Hughes in charge.

Well, he needs to exercise, and Dick Cheney is dead or something, so SOMEBODY has to be in charge.

Well, she’s going to need every trick of the trade to deal honestly, shrewdly and diplomatically with these Muslims newly organized. God help her. She’s going to need all the assistance her discerning senses can muster.

She met with the Islamic Society of North America recently. She was to deliver her hopes for camaraderie. I am sure she had her antennae spreading high and wide all the while she was dialoguing with a people who are known for their double tongues and sabers behind their backs.

Karen spreads her antennae high and wise so as to better muster her discerning senses. But are her super insect powers a match for the double-toungued Muslims? Time will tell, because actions speak louder than words, and a fool and his money are soon parted.

Now, back to making applesauce.
7:22:25 AM