The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Invasion Of The Snatchless Bodies

In the 1967-68 TV series “The Invaders,” Roy Thinnes was able to identify the alien infiltrators by their pinkie fingers, which stuck out as stiff and haughty as Barack Obama at a country club.  In 1988′sThey Live, Rowdy Roddy Piper’s Ray-Bans allowed him to detect the skull-faced extraterrestials who were surreptitiously running the country.  And now, WorldNetDaily CEO Joseph Farah shows us how to sniff out the subversive elements infesting America’s vital news organs:
Have you ever opened up your local newspaper and wondered why there is so much coverage of homosexuals and issues of concern to homosexuals?
I assumed it was because each time gays made an incremental advance toward parity with the rights and privileges of the heterosexual majority, people like you and James Dobson immediately issue hysterical press releases and run radio ads like this:
If the Colorado legislature has its way…
“A man in a dress came into the girl’s restroom at school today.”
We could all be dealing with a new type of predator.
“Honey, there was a man in the women’s showers at the gym today, and the management said it was, it was Colorado law.”
And instead of our kids worrying about class work, they’ll be worrying about who might be in the restroom with them.
“No way I’m going in there (school bell), I’d rather wait all day if a guy’s in there.”
Our children must be protected from predators, but if Governor Ritter won’t veto Senate Bill 200, all public restrooms, including those in our public schools, will be open to anyone of any sex.
Anyway, back to Joe:
Have you ever wondered why coverage of homosexuals and their cause is so universally positive?
Well, since I occasionally read your site, um…no.
I will explain it to you.
Really, don’t put yourself out…
When I first entered the news business back in the late 1970s, there was an indelicate old adage that simplified the standards of the industry with regard to personal and journalistic conflicts of interest.The curmudgeonly city editor would straightforwardly explain to his reporter: “Hey, I don’t care if you sleep with elephants, just don’t cover the circus.”
That remained the American journalistic ethic until “the invasion.”
What invasion?
The invasion of America’s newsrooms by the elephants and their suitors.
Of course, I don’t literally mean elephants and those fond of elephants invaded the news business.
Oh, phew!  It was just another one of those metaphors I keep hearing about…
But the very behavior that crude expression was meant to discourage became de rigueur.
What am I talking about?
I was hoping you knew.
I’m telling you something few others could tell you. I am talking to you as a long-time member of the media elite.
“Elite,” eh?  Well, latte dah.
Farah made a name for himself in 1990, when he became editor of the Sacramento Union newspaper under the ownership of Daniel Benvenuti, Jr., and David Kassis when the three turned the paper in a more conservative direction. Benvenuti and Kassis bought the newspaper from billionaire Richard Mellon Scaife…After fifteen months as editor of The Union, Farah stepped down, in part from the 30 percent decline of the paper’s circulation. (The Sacramento Unionwas bankrupt by 1994…Prior to working at The Union, Farah was the executive news editor of the Los Angeles Herald Examiner (now closed)
Sorry, Joe, just wanted to check your bona fides.  You were saying…?
I am relating to you unique experiences I had as the editor in chief of major-market daily newspapers.
And if I was looking to crater a metro broadsheet, I’d be grateful.
I am explaining to you how America’s news business became a propaganda business manipulated by pressure groups. I am revealing, as an insider, the way the press was invaded and taken over by radical activists with a perverse and extreme agenda.
Right, right.  But if your experiences were “unique,” then by definition they weren’t common, and wouldn’t explain a widespread phenomenon, would they?  I mean, this all seems like an awfully big build-up just to out a few queers on the City Desk.  You’re not, by any chance, trying to sell me something, are you…?
You can find out much more about this dirty little secret in my latest book, “Stop the Presses! The Inside Story of the New Media Revolution.” But here’s an example of a group that has virtually dictated the way newspapers and broadcast outlets cover issues involving homosexuality and other forms of sexual deviancy. It’s called the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association.
Not only is the organization successful at working inside the media to ensure favorable coverage of homosexuals and their political agenda, it even persuades the corporate press barons to pay their freight! The Hearst Corp., McClatchy Company, Gannett, National Public Radio, Bloomberg, Washington Post, NBC News, ABC, CBS News, CNN, Fox News Channel, Fox Business Network and the parent company of both, News Corp., are all sponsoring the group’s convention in August this year. Other big corporations underwriting the event include jetBlue, Harrahs, Orbitz, Pfizer, Coca Cola and Toyota.
The Invisible Hand of the Market has a limp wrist!  Noooooo!
The NLGJA’s president works at the New York Post. Board members work at Fox News Channel, CNN, NBC and major newspapers.
They won’t stop until Bill O’Reilly directs at least 10% of his sexually harassing late night phone calls to gay staffers.  Fair and Balanced, people…
Maybe you think this is a healthy development within the media. Perhaps you believe it will lead to more “tolerance” and “diversity” within the press.
I’ve got news for you – it leads to exactly the opposite.
“Maybe you think I’m a jerk. Well it turns out, you’re a jerk!”
At previous national conferences, it has been suggested by participants that journalists should not even bother seeking other points of view on homosexuals’ issues and stories. It has been suggested that differing points of view should not even be permitted to be aired by their news organizations.
It has also been suggested that repeated, if not constant use of the passive voice allows me to make accusations without backing them up with facts or links or citations.
But, here’s the good news – and there’s much more to be found in “Stop the Presses!”
“Did I mention that I wrote a book?!  And not just the one I ghosted for Rush Limbaugh…!”
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but if I were the sort of person who managed to drive the one newspaper I edited into bankruptcy — despite lavish subsidies from deep-pocketed wingnuts — I don’t think I’d title my book, “Stop the Presses.”
These people, these activists masquerading as journalists, do so in the controlled media – the establishment press, the “downstream media.” And what’s happening in the world of the “lamestream media” these days? It’s imploding.
Really?  How?
The activists within the media, whether they realize it or not, are mapping a route to their own self-destruction and disfranchisement.
Sounds serious!  So what exactly are they –
In my humble opinion, it couldn’t happen to a more arrogant bunch of fascist mind-control freaks.
Oh, I see.  You’re saving all the good stuff for “Stop the Presses!  The Inside Story of How I literally Stopped the Presses!”
Fair enough, Joe.  I’ll be sure to click on that “Wanna Know the Secret to Getting 37 Paychecks in the Mail Per Month?  And All at the Push of a BUTTON!” ad on the front page of your site so I can get my free copy.

Posted by scott on Thursday, June 26th, 2008 at 12:14 am.

22 Responses to “Invasion Of The Snatchless Bodies”

I live in Sacramento and remember the Farah & Friends takeover of the Union. It was a disaster ready-made to delight me. Nobody made money on the Union from the days when Gannett had the paper, and the more money they lost, the further rightward they turned. I had known Dan Benvenuti as a vague acquaintance (FOAF) and I can say nothing made me happier than to see that creep lose on the deal. He was a blowhard developer (of which we have plenty around here – see the story of John Saca for a more recent example of the type) We mine new ones every year, and I get to see most of them hit financial ruin eventually. Big mouths, big “ideas”, always pumping the city council (eternal suckers) for money to fund their “vision” for a new downtown (which is always infinitely worse than the old downtown).
Farah himself is nothing more than another example of wingnut welfare. He could fail a hundred more times and still have a guaranteed income.
At previous national conferences, it has been suggested by participants that journalists should not even bother seeking other points of view on homosexuals’ issues and stories. It has been suggested that differing points of view should not even be permitted to be aired by their news organizations.
“Furthermore, it has been suggested that whenever there’s a story about gay people being allowed rights, they not even call me anymore so I can tell them the fags are all going to hell and 9/11 was God’s judgment upon us. It has been suggested that I am somehow intolerant! Imagine!”
I wonder how Joe would like it if every time someone did a book review for him or otherwise mentioned his name in a newspaper, someone who thought he was a total asshole who should be soundly beaten was asked for a quote. I wonder how he’d like it if every straight marriage announcement included a differing point of view from a gay couple who’d been denied a marriage certificate despite having been together decades longer than the happy newlyweds had known each other. I wonder how he’d like it if every story about religion was accompanied by a couple of quotes from atheists pointing out they’re deluded morons. And clearly every article about minorities should be accompanied by a point of view paragraph from neo-Nazis, but actually he might not object to that.
I remember reading the Sacramento Union back when I was a grad student and my landlady had a subscription to it. The Union was a pretty decent paper, a bit on the conservative side, until Farah and his minions turned it into the print equivalent of Fox News (well before Fox News even existed!). With the insane running the asylum, the Union quickly collapsed and went out of business. (It exists today only as a thin tabloid, given away for free, and an anemic webzine.)
Seriously, is Mr. Farah’s piece an editorial or just an extended commercial to promote his so-called book?
PS – Someone should tell this guy that Groucho Marx wants his moustache back.
“Lamestream media.”
It’s the quotes that make it doubly good. But then, that’s the sort of thing you get from the professional wordsmithy. Internets, take note!
It only proves he’s one of the “cool ones” who understands what “the kids” are into these days; you know, like “the internet”, “hula hoops” and that crazy “Dan Fogelberg” music.
Has anyone mentioned to Mr. Farah that the moustache he sports is commonly referred to as a bumper-cushion for a high speed cocksucker?
“The invasion of America’s newsrooms by the elephants and their suitors.” A most original description of the rise of Fox News, Mr. Farrah. Congratulations!
The fact is, you liberals hate the free market. You want all newqspapers forced to be gay, and funded by our taxes. Newspapers only need to print the truth, and when there is controversy like gay, black, foreigner or womens rights to print BOTH SIDES. That is fair, that is balanced. The media right now is biased and tilted to the left, and you liberals want it all the way. This is unfair and the market proves me right, look at how successful FOX NEWS is, and you envy that. Stop hating hard working rich white people and start emululating them, you might learn something.
Hey! It’s Gary! And I think it’s the real Gary!
when there is controversy like gay, black, foreigner or womensrights to print BOTH SIDES
So, Gary. Tell me. What’s controversial about rights for black people or women?
(cuz, I get that the rights for teh gay is still a hard concept to swallow. So to speak. But, relax. It took a lot of time for bigots to get used to the idea that black people had the same rights as white people and could, in fact, marry white people without destroying marriage as an institution.)
Gary??? I thought I’d find you here annoying the neighbors. You know I asked you to take out the garbage and pick up the newspapers. I want you to march right back across the street and finish those chores, or I’m going to unplug that computer and you’re going to be grounded.
Can someone tell Sadly, No! we’ve got their troll? They’ve probably been stapling notices to all the utility poles and frantically calling the Pound.
I’m unclear why Farah thinks that gay men are going to be going into girls’ restrooms in elementary schools.
I’m sure that in Farah’s world there are hundreds of gay men eager to hang out in the girls’ gym showers at elementary schools, but I guess I’m just not aware of this sub-group of gay culture. Is it the great dance music? Or the decor?
Can someone tell Sadly, No! we’ve got their troll? They’ve probably been stapling notices to all the utility poles and frantically calling the Pound.
I went ahead and posted a “found” notice over there in the most recent thread, scott. Hopefully, someone will come and get him and give us some kind of reward. ;)
I went ahead and posted a “found” notice over there in the most recent thread, scott. Hopefully, someone will come and get him and give us some kind of reward
OOOOH-kay! I think the real response from the noers would be ROTFLMAO.The troll did sound like the real Gary so, why in the hell would they want it back?
The fact is, not only do we NOT want Gary back, even Gary’s mom does not want him back.
“The fact is. . .”
Did’ja ever notice that only rightwingnuts begin almost EVERYTHING they write this way.
It’s as thought they’re trying to convince themselves first through rote recitation and hoping it will stick with their intended audience.
I think it’s more indicative of some kind of mental tic.
Aside from High School Girl’s locker rooms,I’ve never been in a woman’s public restroom that had a shower. I’m trying to visualize the response of 50 or so teen girls to a man trying to shower with them. I hope that when it happens, someone will have a camera phone. I’d like to see it on You Tube.
“You want all newqspapers forced to be gay, and funded by our taxes.”
Sounds like prison.
[...] Scott at World o’Crap has some fun walking us through WorldNetDaily CEO Joseph Farah showing us how to sniff out the subversive elements infesting America’s vital news organs. He begins with a quote from a Dobson radio ad: “Mom…” [...]
Since when do wingnuts actually give a shit about kids getting sexually harassed by strangers? Don’t they usually blame the victim, say she or he is lying and/or asking for it, and/or say “boys will be boys”? It’s usually heterosexual male relatives or acquaintances of the kids committing these things, anyway. What a load of disingenuous crap.
I knew this bozo’s boss at the Union, DB Jr. in high school. One of our gymnasts offered to beat the crap out of him for his cruel antics. Both he and Farah are, in my opinion, borderline sociopaths. Well, maybe not exactly borderline. If you found evidence of fraud or even murder, I would not be surprised in the least. I also would not be surprised to find that they’re both gay and that all this bashing is just an effort to cover it up. Trust me, these guys have both got plenty of stuff they don’t want known.

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