The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Square Pegs: But They Told Me It Was Senior Wig Day!

Taking a break from work — and apparently, leave of my senses — I followed a link from Townhall over to The American Vision (rose-colored glasses in about an hour), where I was treated to a front page article entitled Homosexual Marriages: Square Peg, Round Hole, written by a fellow with the super-butch moniker, “Gary DeMar,” (which I believe was also the name of the choreographer inThe Producers).  For those who may be unfamiliar with The American Vision, the masthead reads, “Exercising Servanthood Dominion,” which leaves it unclear whether they consider themselves tops or bottoms, although frankly it sounds like they’re trying to have it both ways.
Abortion opinion has shifted in the past thirty years from majority approval or indifference to majority dissent
Or not.
…because more Americans are aware that abortion kills a preborn baby.
Previously, most Americans believed that having an abortion merely sprained the fetus, and women who had suffered miscarriages would often hear their husbands exhorting the zygote to “get up and walk it off.”
Technology has given us a window to the womb. Take a look at the GE 4D Ultrasound. The images are astounding. If the media ever tell the truth about homosexual behavior, public opinion will change. Homosexuals know this, so they are working overtime to get laws on the books that will eventually negate any later shift in public opinion.
Once GE perfects an ultrasound machine that can detect frottage, those queers will be on their way to Reading Gaol before you can say “Oh, snap!”
Stephen Hendricks, vice president of PRIDE, a Montana homosexual “rights” advocacy group, has argued for homosexual marriage for some time.
While Gary’s “brain” has argued with Merriam Websters about the proper use of quotation marks for even longer, leading the frustrated sub/dom to take his dictionary to a local obstetrician and demand it be given an ultrasound to reveal the homosexual grammarian within.
His latest entry was published on January 9, 2009 in celebration of “National Freedom to Marry Day.” He writes: “Fortunately, prejudice is starting to [crumble]. Polls show 75 percent of Americans think gay marriages will eventually be legal. About a third want it to happen, a third don’t and another third don’t care. (Among college students, three in five think gays should be able to wed.)” The reason there has been a shift in opinion is because the mainstream media refuse to define and describe what homosexuality actually is as a lifestyle.
Fabulous?
The euphemism “gay,” like the use of “pro-choice” for killing pre-born babies, masks what homosexuality really is. It doesn’t take long to get young people to reject homosexual behavior. I’ve accomplished it in less than 15 seconds.
“In fact, I was still struggling with my zipper when the undercover vice cop threw me up against the bathroom stall…”
Aversion to abortion, the holocaust, and lynching are made more real when people see the images of the behavior or hear them described as defined.
So fully one-third of American women are the moral equivalent of Adolf Eichmann with Nathan Bedford Forrest sprinkled on top.  This may be the first time in history that a single sentence has broken Godwin’s Law, Newton’s Law of Inertia, the Law of Diminishing Return, and, I’m pretty sure, Ape Law.
Hendricks attempts to refute anti-homosexual arguments. Most of them are standard-issue in the homosexual community. Here are some of them with my rebuttal:
Rebuttal on rebuttal action!  I better go get my assless chaps.
Anti-Homosexual Claim 1:
“Marriage has always been the way it is; you can’t change it just to fit the times.”
Attempted Rebuttal by Hendricks: “Gay marriage is perfectly in keeping with the evolving nature of the institution. Once blacks couldn’t marry whites, Jews couldn’t marry Christians and wives were property of husbands. Such features changed as notions of equality did.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: Notice that Hendricks assumes the validity of marriage. Why is marriage legitimate in the first place? He never says.  He must assume the biblical origin of marriage in order to reject it.
Or he might have looked at all the married and divorced people around him and realized it’s a common legal arrangement between two consenting adults which confers a variety of privileges and obligations, so long as the parties to the contract can produce no more than one penis and one vagina between them.  As for “biblical origin of marriage,” the Bible isn’t a history text, and even if it were, marriage is pre-historic.  Just look at the Flintstones.
Hendricks borrows the biblical institution of marriage to deny the biblical definition of marriage.
Yes, true, he borrowed the biblical institution of marriage, but he brought it back, while you still have his Garden Weasel!  And what has the Bible got to do with marriage, anyway?  You can’t contract a marriage with just a Bible — you need a license to make it binding, but I know for a fact that you can get married without a Bible anywhere in the building.
Animals don’t marry; they only mate.
And unlike humans in the Red States, some animals mate for life.
So why should the human animal be bound by such outdated religious restraints?
You refer to what Doghouse Riley has dubbed, “Our Abiding Respect for All Forms of Bronze Age Superstition”?
If you’re going to use the word “marriage,” it’s necessary that you account for its origin.
Sure.  Just look what happened to you guys when you used the word “teabagging” without first performing a little etymological due diligence.
Hendricks doesn’t; he can’t unless he appeals to the Bible’s creation story.
“I’m sorry, but we cannot approve your ballot initiative requiring the renegotiation of public employee pension contracts in budget deficit years until you can explain how Osiris managed to impregnate Isis with Horus after he’d already been killed by his brother Set.”
Hendricks then moves on by discussing the “evolving nature of the institution.” Of course, if evolution is true, then he’s right. Marriage can be anything we want it to be. But if we begin with the biblical origin of marriage, then there’s nothing evolutionary about it: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4–6).
As we’ve said, marriage pre-dates the Bible, and even heterosexual marriage doesn’t derive its legal standing from Genesis.  Otherwise, in the case of divorce, men would have to give their ex-wives the house, the car, and a rib.
In biblical terms, marriage has always been between one man and one woman. There’s nothing in the Bible that says blacks can’t marry whites.
That’s the amazing thing about the Bible.  You can get it to say just about anything:
“Judge Leon Bazile looked down at Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter Loving as they stood before him in 1959 in the Caroline County, Va. courtroom. “Almighty God,” he intoned, “created the races white, black, yellow, Malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” With that, Judge Bazile sentenced the newlywed Lovings to one year in jail. Their crime: Mildred is part Negro, part Indian, and Richard is white.”
In some cultures, wives are considered property, but not in the Bible where the definition of marriage is found. If, as Hendricks says, marriage is an evolving institution, then what would make any of these man-made prohibitions wrong?
We’ve evolved beyond them?
Anti-Homosexual Claim 2:
“Homosexuality is immoral; the Bible condemns it.”
Attempted Rebuttal by Hendricks: “In the Bible, the book of Leviticus does say gays should be killed. But the Bible would also have us kill women who have premarital sex and men who masturbate, and it forbids tattoos, working on Sunday, eating shrimp and playing with pigskin (in other words, football). With good reason, America is a democracy not a theocracy.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: This is a loaded one. I’ll start from the bottom and work my way up. America is a republic not a democracy.
Well, this is gonna take a while…You know what, I’m just gonna nip out the kitchen, grab a soda.  Anybody want anything?  Pringles?  Chex Mix?
If America were a democracy, then if 51% of the people wanted to prohibit homosexual marriage, then homosexuals would have to live with the democratic consensus, like the vote against homosexual marriage in California! But, of course, we know the homosexual community didn’t go along with the voice of the people. They intimidated those who supported Proposition 8 and have turned to the courts to overrule the vote of the majority. It’s the homosexual minority that believes in a theocracy, a theocracy where man is god. This was much in evidence at this year’s Miss USA Pageant where Miss California stated that she did not believe homosexual marriage was right. One of the judges, a flaming homosexual named Perez Hilton, stated that Carrie Prejean most likely lost the crown because of her heresy. She had blasphemed.
If you’ve ever wanted to visit an alternate universe where Jim J. Bullock is Cotton Mather, I hope you enjoyed the preceding paragraph.
Footballs are not made from pigskin, and even if they were, only religious observant Jews might be prohibited from handling the ball. There are no civil sanctions against handling pigs or their skin. The prohibition against eating shrimp is also religious and does not carry civil sanctions.
Okay!  See — he almost gets it!   Marriage — in America — is a CIVIL contract.  Gah!  It’s like you spent all day Saturday training your dog to sit on command, and you think he understands what the word means, but then on Sunday you go to show the family what Sparky can do now, and when you say “sit!” he just stares at you.
The Bible does prohibit work on the Sabbath and the Constitution acknowledges this (Art. I, sec. 7). Sandy Koufax made the personal decision not to pitch in Game 1 of the 1965 World Series because it fell on Yom Kippur. I don’t see how the Sabbath an argument against the Bible since the Bible also prohibits murder, rape, incest, bestiality, kidnapping, theft, perjury, and other acts that remain on our law books. Would homosexuals call for these laws to be rescinded in order to normalize sodomy? Given an evolutionary worldview, none of today’s crimes should be considered unlawful.
Please.  “An eye for an eye” and “a tooth for a tooth” was in the frigging Code of Hammurabi,  circa 1760 B.C.  The Code of Ur-Nammu, circa 2100 – 2050 B.C. also forbids the following:
  • 1. If a man commits a murder, that man must be killed.
  • 2. If a man commits a robbery, he will be killed.
  • 3. If a man commits a kidnapping, he is to be imprisoned and pay 15 shekels of silver.
So Mr. Old Testament is a bit of a Johnny Come Lately insofar as lawgiving is concerned.  Moreover, “murder, rape, incest, bestiality, kidnapping, theft, perjury” are not the moral equivalent of two guys pledging their troth in Boise.  Just ask the ancient Sumerians.
There is no death penalty for masturbation.
You better hope not, Gary.
The issue of premarital sex is more complicated.
Ooooh, “complicated?”  Suddenly we’re doing nuance, are we?  Methinks somebody didn’t come to the marriage bed an unspotted virgin.
Contrary to what Hendricks claims, the Bible does not say “gays should be killed.” Public acts of sodomy are condemned with civil sanctions (Lev. 18:22; 20:13; Rom. 1:18–32). The main purpose of these laws is to keep homosexuality closeted.
That’s why everyone in the Bible went around with a beard.
Anti-Homosexual Claim 3:
“Gay Marriage doesn’t lead to children, the purpose of marriage.”
Attempted Rebuttal by Hendricks: “Wrong on both counts. States give marriage licenses to straight couples who don’t or can’t procreate. And like many straight couples, gays raise children thanks to adoption or sperm donors.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: The State does not know whether heterosexual couples can or can’t procreate.
If two 70-year old pensioners meet at Leisure World and decide to legally pool their Social Security checks, who is the State to assume that Joe’s limp, wizened, liver-spotted manflesh won’t be planting a seed in Martha’s arid, post-menopausal womb.
The question is never asked. The State does know that homosexuals who engage in same-sex sex will never be able to conceive. Hendricks is equivocating in the way he uses “lead to children.” It’s a biological fact that homosexual sex will never lead to children. (I have a great line for this truth that I can’t put in print.)
I’ll just bet you do.  (Okay, I’m going to take a little break.  Have some dinner, get drunk.  See you all a bit later…)
Okay, I’m back.
Given what we know about male and female anatomy, the vast majority of heterosexual couples will be able to conceive and have children.
I have a great line about your mother, but I can’t put it in print.
Men and women are anatomically suited to procreate. They were made that way by God. The fact that homosexuals have to use extraordinary means in every case to make children a part of their manufactured family—artificial insemination—is good evidence that there is something biologically wrong with homosexual marriages.
Yeah.  I know two gay and one lesbian couple who fathered and mothered children, and in two of the three cases, the “extraordinary means” involved a fifth of Chablis and a pint of vodka.  Which is pretty much the same way my heterosexual parents managed my conception.
If a child keeps hammering a square peg into a round hole after he’s been shown that the round peg goes into the round hole, we must assume that his intellectual abilities are somewhat diminished.
Gay men aren’t attracted to members of their own sex, they’re just too stupid to find the vagina.
Does it ever register with homosexuals that maybe God is telling them something when they get life-threatening diseases because of their sexual practices and can have no children no matter how hard they try? Like Dr. Frankenstein, homosexuals take God’s design of marriage and manufacture an artificial monster from its parts.
All the straight victims of AIDS are just collateral damage in God’s war against fags.
Anti-Homosexual Claim 4:
“If gays marry, next people will want to marry horses or children.”
Attempted Rebuttal by Hendricks: “The equine argument is a Montana favorite, as it was for foes of interracial marriage. But marriage gay or straight is a contract between two consenting adults. Nobody proposes changing this.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: No one right now proposes changing this like no one 20 years ago thought there would be any consideration of homosexual marriages today. Homosexual groups have been trying to lower the age of consent. If your son or daughter can marry at the age of fifteen or sixteen
Then you might want to consider moving out of Alabama or Alaska.
then what will stop homosexual marriages of the same age? The definition of consenting adult can change. “Consenting adult” would also include the marriage of sister and brother, mother and daughter, father and daughter, father and son, and any other combination you don’t want to think about (1 Cor. 5:1).
Here’s what I don’t get about the slippery slope, Gary, perhaps you can help me.  When the Supreme Court overturned the laws of many states banning interracial marriage in 1967, why didn’t men immediately start marrying their brothers, their sisters, their ventriloquist dummies, and women start wedding their coat-trees, anacondas, or the odd Barbershop Quartet?  I mean, the brakes were off, right?  Anything goes!
Anti-Homosexual Claim 5: “Gay sex is disgusting.”Attempted Rebuttal by Hendricks: “So are, to many people, some ‘straight’ sex acts. It’s not the state’s job to intrude in the bedrooms of consenting adults.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: Yes, homosexual sex is disgusting and dangerous.
Gary?  No offense, but I don’t think anyone wants to watch you fuck, either.
Anti-Homosexual Claim 6:
“You can’t force a church to marry gays.”
Attempted Rebuttal by Hendricks: “True, but irrelevant. Gays are asking for state-issued licenses. Religions will remain as free to ban gay weddings as they are to ban women ministers.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: Maybe right now. The way “hate crime” legislation is moving, churches may find it difficult in the near future to say anything critical of homosexuality in general.
When my sister decided to get married, she and her hubby-to-be drove around every church in Corvallis, Oregon looking for a venue for the wedding.  Every single church turned them down, even though they were one man and one woman, because they weren’t members of their denomination or congregation.  They finally found a female Unitarian minister who agreed to perform the ceremony in a lovely, if somewhat rural, location.  So why don’t you quit borrowing trouble from the imaginary Think Pink Though Police of the future, Gary?  We bend over backwards to allow clergy their tax-exempt bigotry, and that’s not likely to change just because gay people are denied one less right the rest of us enjoy.  As my friend’s 90-year old Polish mother once said to me, “Don’t call the wolf from the woods.”
Anti-Homosexual Claim 7:
“Why do gays need to marry anyway?”
Rebuttal by Hendricks: “Many basic rights and protections are conferred by marriage, like the rights to visit a hospitalized partner, receive family health benefits and inherit a partner’s property.”
Rebuttal of Hendricks by DeMar: Property can be passed on to anyone. You don’t have to be married to inherit. In fact, you don’t have to be a human being to inherit.
Gary?  Fuck.  You.
Fundamentally, marriage is not about certain economic rights and protections. Redefining the family and the nature of marriage for economic and personal reasons is off the mark and falls outside the jurisdiction of the State
But the medical insurance I have thanks to my wife certainly came in handy when I herniated that disk and desperately needed an MRI.
Hendricks is counting on the majority of Americans not being able to think clearly on this topic. The fact that he is willing to have his own poorly reasoned arguments published only goes to show how gullible and unthinking he considers most Americans to be on this topic. And maybe they are. Only time and the law will tell.
And if things don’t seem to be going your way legally, you can always blow a trumpet at the marrying gays and make the County Courthouse collapse on them, or grow your hair out and kill 10,000 homos with the jawbone of an ass, thus proving that Biblical ways are as relevant today as they were 2500 years.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go find out which of my asshole neighbors slew a 10th of my kine.

Posted by scott on Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 at 10:22 pm

33 Responses to “Square Pegs: But They Told Me It Was Senior Wig Day!”

Nope. You can’t make me read it. Why should I imperil my beautiful mind by exposing it to some bigotted, wilfully-ignorant fool’s attempt to expose the depths of his ignorance about two separate fields of morality simultaneously?
Wowe. The sad thing is, he actually thinks he presented a reasoned argument.
Oh, and reviving the old, “AIDS is God’s way of punishing homos” bullshit?
Fuck off. Please. Go back under the rock you been sitting under for 25 years.
Why does it always boil down to “That’s Icky so it Must Be Made (Kept) Illegal!”. That was the basic argument against interracial marriage as far as I can tell.
Oh, and who is he kidding when he says the Bible didn’t define women as property? The commandment against coveting does exactly that.
I don’t drink coffee, but my allergies are acting up today. Exhorting the zygote to “get up and walk it off” gave me an icky keyboard. Thanks.
I laughed out loud several times when I read this post. “Pringles? Chex Mix?” hahaha!
The fact that you took the time to do this in such a clear, logical way is wonderful, but your humor is devine.
And in the end, after snacks, dinner and drinks, you finally lost your patience and said what we all wanted to say, Fuck. You. But what fun we had all the way through.
Oh, and the old “everything unfortunate in Leviticus is just for the Jews” routine, which is enjoyable on so many levels, not the least of which is how Judaism isn’t actually part of JudeoChristianity™.
And I know it’s like choosing the most un-photogenic turd in an open sewer, but going from “America is not a democracy. It’s a Republic.”–itself the “I know you are, but what am I?” of nine-grade Civics–to the Homosexual Agenda overturning the Will of the Majority in just two sentences is a marvel of the genre.
I concur with Omyword! Actually, I concur with all the comments, but Omyword! said exactly what I was thinking.
Gary? Fuck. you.
Precisely.
HOLYSHIT! That was a lot of scrolling!
Homosexual Marriages: Square Peg, Round Hole
If it’s a square peg, ur doin’ it wrong.
Why does it always boil down to “That’s Icky so it Must Be Made (Kept) Illegal!”.
Because nobody thinks about icky stuff more than a moral scold. It is axiomatic that in order to be a prude, you have to be obsessed with sex.
Technology has given us a window to the womb. Take a look at the GE 4D Ultrasound. The images are astounding. If the media ever tell the truth about homosexual behavior, public opinion will change.
Hm, so images of living foetuses, which has done nothing to persuade any but a handful of the weak-willed anway, somehow will work their magic by getting us to shun homosexuals, errrr, how, precisely?
It doesn’t take long to get young people to reject homosexual behavior. I’ve accomplished it in less than 15 seconds.
Is he admitting he had to think about it????
Animals don’t marry; they only mate.
Suddenly, NIN’s Closer is an earworm here…
It’s a biological fact that homosexual sex will never lead to children.
Oh boy, is he going to be in for a shock in a few years…
If a child keeps hammering a square peg into a round hole after he’s been shown that the round peg goes into the round hole, we must assume that his intellectual abilities are somewhat diminished.
Or he could be auditioning for “Extreme Makeover: Womb Edition”
(admit it, Scott…you wish you had thought of that one)
Yes, homosexual sex is disgusting and dangerous.
So it’s not teh buttsecks that Gary finds disgusting…presumably because he’s caught a few innings behind home plate…but the concept of two homosexual men, not manly manly men like Gary and his top?
The commandment against coveting does exactly that.
Funny story: when I was a lad doing my catechism, I asked my minister about that, how come women were property and he blew me off…OK, I mean it in the sanctified way, you pervert…with the comment that it was a typo, that we were not to “cover our neighbor’s wife”
I gave him credit for a nice duck.
Oh, and the old “everything unfortunate in Leviticus is just for the Jews” routine, which is enjoyable on so many levels, not the least of which is how Judaism isn’t actually part of JudeoChristianity™.
Unless it’s part of Dispensationalist dogma, in which case it’s merely pre-Christian and has nothing to do with those Christ-killers.
“Gary DeMar Idiot” is an anagram of “Gay? Married? Do it!”
HOLY QUACK! “Square Peg, Round Hole” is the bestest title for an anti-gay tirade I ever did see. I’d like to see one of those square pegs, too.
And: A god called Man! (Homo-Man I daresay).
Not to be confused with ‘A Boy Named Sue’.
I don’t suppose this guy knows there are books on the subtle art of argumentation? My husband has a whole series of them, which is why I never argue with him. I just yell “I DON’T CARE!” storm out of the house and buy something useless but expensive. How I’d deal with this person’s arguments I cannot imagine.
With this
a theocracy where man is god
Can religious nuts ever retire this stupid meme?
The images are astounding. If the media ever tell the truth about homosexual behavior, public opinion will change.
So… Gary DeMar wants us all to watch more explicit sex acts? This is a religious argument I can really, snerk, get behind!
“the odd Barbershop Quartet”?
If they’re a quartet, aren’t they by definition EVEN?
Hey, DeMar-the ’80′s called-they want their assholes back.
“It doesn’t take long to get young people to reject homosexual behavior. I’ve accomplished it in less than 15 seconds.
“In fact, I was still struggling with my zipper when the undercover vice cop threw me up against the bathroom stall…”
Dude.
Great line.
TOO VIVID.
Ow.
“Rebuttal on rebuttal action! I better go get my assless chaps.”
Y’know, I’m awful glad that you’re feeling better, hon, (seeing as how your sinus infection has migrated to MY DAMNED HOUSE)but, AGAIN, the VIBRANT IMAGERY.
Ow.
The head hurts already, and you’re making me want to find a sharp/pointy object and insert it directly under the occipital ridge. No offense, honey, but I think that only Mary should have to see you in the assless Chaps. If then. Up to her.
“And unlike humans in the Red States, some animals mate for life.”
2 exceptions: I don’t mate in captivity (and yes, you’re all very welcome for that service to humanity), and b) divorce statistics are pretty homogeneous nation-wide, aren’t they?
“I have a great line about your mother, but I can’t put it in print.”
— Why are you HOLDING BACK?!?!!? C’mon, man!
THIS, though, THIS… is high art, my friend.
“If you’ve ever wanted to visit an alternate universe where Jim J. Bullock is Cotton Mather, I hope you enjoyed the preceding paragraph.”
But here, HERE is the true jewel:
“It’s like you spent all day Saturday training your dog to sit on command, and you think he understands what the word means, but then on Sunday you go to show the family what Sparky can do now, and when you say “sit!” he just stares at you.”
Now you understand what it’s like, every time that I wake up here in the nightmare known as Hillbilly HellHole. Can’t imagine a better description. Trying to explain human rights to a damned-and-determined-to-STAY-ignorant fucktard is very close to what it’s like, trying to explain RECYCLING and NEUTERING ANIMALS to mouth-breathing, knuckle-walking, redneck republicunt fucktards. NOW we have empathy! And why in the hell won’t Firefox recognize the word, “fucktards”?!?!?? My other copy sure as hell did… *sigh*
BTW, I still wonder why “religious nuts” never seem to HAVE ANY. Clues? Or are they tucking-and-taping and doing a Joanne Worley impression on the weekends?
OOH! ONE MORE!!! (Yup, just like Lay’s potato chips…)
“Moreover, ‘murder, rape, incest, bestiality, kidnapping, theft, perjury’ are not the moral equivalent of two guys pledging their troth in Boise. Just ask the ancient Sumerians.”
See, that’s the thing that PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. Just like a certain redneck republicunt radio station in Laurel, MS, where the “morning show” douchebag maintained that A NUDIST COLONY FOR LESBIANS IS EQUAL TO CHILD-MOLESTATION WRIT LARGE. I didn’t get that “co-host” gig, btw.
Confusing FELONIES with SEXUAL ACTS COMMITTED BETWIXT CONSENTING ADULTS is WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING COUNTRY AS IT IS!!!!!!!! (See also, Mentis Fugit’s report on our severely-fucktarded “Supreme Court” over to Mark Of The Beast today)
99 FUCKING PERCENT OF ALL CHILD MOLESTERS ARE WHITE, ‘HETEROSEXUAL,’ ALLEGEDLY “CHRISTIAN” MALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And to fuck someone WHO IS ALSO A CONSENTING ADULT is NOT A FUCKING FELONY, except in Alabama, N. Mississippi, Arkansas, certain parts of Texas, and the I-75 corridor in Florida.
Why don’t you stupid mouth-breathing hate-mongering cockbitesSTART ACTUALLY GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THE NASTY MOTHERFUCKERS (see also: FATFUCK LIMBAUGH) WHO ARE ***ACTUALLY*** MOLESTING CHILDREN, LIKE YOUR PREACHERS & PRIESTS(and Fatfuck Limbaugh), AND LEAVE THE NON-PEDERAST ADULTS THE FUCK ALONE?!?!?!?!?
Is that too “nuanced” a concept for these crusading gay-haters, or what? Everything in this motherfucking country is supposed to be baby-safe, or “FOR THE CHILLLLLLLLLDREN,” and yet these CROTCH-OBSESSED FREAKS don’t seem to actually give a fuck about the “people” who really ARE hurting them. Gee, would that be a conflict of interest for the sex freaks, or what?
” The main purpose of these laws is to keep homosexuality closeted.
That’s why everyone in the Bible went around with a beard.”
BAH-DUM-BUMP!!!
“Gay men aren’t attracted to members of their own sex, they’re just too stupid to find the vagina.”
See, now, there’s a personal-anecdote joke that I could put in there, but even I have a TMI threshold.
BTW, re: the AIDS as “gawd’s” punishment shit? Little far back for you, Gary. Probably being uttered by the two rutting, leperous armadillos as they were conceiving YOU, matter of fact. I guess that all of the DEAD CHILDREN, about whom you xians profess to “care,” mean NOTHING to you, huh. Well, those kids “deserved to die,” because they were produced by “crack whores,” or “fornicators” or other “undesirables,” huh. Same way that crack kills “all the right people.” Tell that shit to anybody who’s ever worked in a neonatal intensive-care unit, motherfucker. Scott, get me this cocksucker’s home address. Seriously. I’d make the road trip for this occasion.
And that “age of consent” so-called “argument”? It’s not just Lousyana that JUST RECENTLY (within the past 5-10 years) MOVED IT UP FROM THIRTEEN. Mississippi, Georgia, Idaho (I think), it’s a LONNNGGGG list. And yet the teen pregnancy incidences are “Because Of Teh Evul Liburl Media.” Riiiiight. It’s horny motherfuckers WAY past the age of consent wanting virgin poon, is what it is, and that includes Mary Kay Letourneau. But gee, that wouldn’t have anything to do with the “biblical” mindset, would it…
And any sick fucktard who’d put HATE CRIMES into SARCASM QUOTES — yeah, get on that home address, Scott, I feel the need to perpetrate a hate crime. It’ll be a precedent-setter, have no doubt. I know, I know, the white-allegedly-hetero-male demographic already thinks that they’re “persecuted” ENOUGH, why give ‘em more ammo or the cross to hang from, but y’know… I REALLY WANNA DO IT. And if Gary can use his collection of fairy tales to “justify” HIS hate crimes, doesn’t that extend to me beating the living shit outta this giant pimple with an aluminum baseball bat? Using Gary’s “logic,” of course…
“We bend over backwards to allow clergy their tax-exempt bigotry…”
AMEN. Start taxing those cockbites right the fuck now, and I bet that their “political” aspirations will sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up REAL quick. Everybody else who pulls down a wage has to pay taxes, why in the FUCK should these freaks get to have marble jacuzzi tubs and Rolls Royces and NEVER pay a DIME??!?!!??!
Finally, lastly:
“Gary? Fuck. You.”
Bingo.
Actor?
“Suddenly, NIN’s Closer is an earworm here…”
WHYYYYYYY?!?!!? Why did you have to ruin one of my favorite songs?!?!?! What the fuck have I ever done TO YOU to deserve this?!?!!?! Bastid.
Bill:
“Hey, DeMar-the ’80’s called-they want their assholes back.
Amen again. And while we’re sending pricks back to the ’80s, can we send Michael Jackson, too? Really, after “Thriller,” he was just taking-up space anyway… I bet that he and Gary would have a lot to discuss on the trip.
Take a look at the GE 4D Ultrasound. The images are astounding.Ok, I’ll give you that. If the media ever tell the truth about homosexual behavior, public opinion will change. How? How will an ultrasound change homosexuality? Homosexuals know this, so they are working overtime to get laws on the books that will eventually negate any later shift in public opinion.
Hey! I’m still waiting to hear about how the new ultrasound will change homosexuality. Where’s the link, I wanna know. Is there something I’m missing? Do my homosexual friends have a hidden fear of fetuses? And if they do, how is it that supposedly straight, never been near a queer Mr. DeMar know this? I wanna know.
But I guess we’ll never know.
“In some cultures, wives are considered property, but not in the Bible where the definition of marriage is found.”
Well, I will be damned. Here all this time I thought marriage as defined by the Christian religion was a patriarchal based thing, which was designed to keep women and their wombs in servitude to the patriarch, but hey, I guess I never studied the Bible hard enough.
Call Gloria Steinem will somebody? We’ve got breaking news.
WHYYYYYYY?!?!!? Why did you have to ruin one of my favorite songs?!?!?! What the fuck have I ever done TO YOU to deserve this?!?!!?! Bastid.
Annti, you THINK I like having to connect DeMar with Reznor????? It’s my fucking twisted sick brain!
“Does it ever register with homosexuals that maybe God is telling them something when they get life-threatening diseases because of their sexual practices and can have no children no matter how hard they try?”
Y’know, the more I think of that, the more full of stupid that sentence is.
Does it ever register in his useless, feeble, smaller-than-an-anorexic flea brain that one possible answer to that question m ioght be, “I’m an atheist, and therefore do not interpret anything as a message from God”?
And a person who DOES believe in God might not reach the same conclusions that he does. Some people might be inclined to quote Julia Sugarbaker: “If God was doling out sexually transmitted diseases as punishment for sinnin’, YOU would be going to the free clinic everey day!” I would also add, “So, how come God hasn’t come up with as fatal illness that ONLY afflicts rapists, and nobody else? How come he hasn’t gotten around to creating something that’ll cause a guy’s dick to just drop off the second he tries to lure a 9-year-old into a van?” And what message is he trying to send to lesbians? “Go ahead-you’re safer than you’d be with a dude!”
Another STUPID POINT: the second half of that-”can have no children no matter how hard they try”. That reminded me of the exchange between Dan White (Josh Brolin) and Harvey Milk(Sean Penn) in “Milk”(I LOVED that flick):
Dan: Societies can’t exist without families.
Harvey: We’re not against that.
Dan: Can two men reproduce?
Harvey: No, but God knows we keep trying.
Some gay couples don’t WANT to have kids, so they might think it’s a blessing from God that they can’t. The ones that do want kids would probably view the fact that they can’t procreate the same way any barren hetereosexual couple who can’t have kids but want them might-as a challenge, rather than a punishment.
In order to reach the bigoted, brain-dead conclusion DeMar draws, they’d have to view themselves as the object of revulsion he views them as. That he should expect this is evidence of what an asshole he is. I take that as a sign from God that I should ignore his M.B.F.* ramblings.
M.B.F.: Mouth-Breathing Fucktard. I think we should all use that abbreviation until it catches on, whattaya say?
That’s why everyone in the Bible went around with a beard.
A big fuck-off beard.
Square pegs, round holes; round pegs, round holes? Methinkssomeone is a little too fixated on round pegs and puckered holes.
And what message is [God] trying to send to lesbians? “Go ahead-you’re safer than you’d be with a dude!”
I hope that future editions of the Bibble will restore the girl-on-girl scenes that were edited out during the 12th century.
Gary DeMar: “I’ll start from the bottom and work my way up.”
…if you know what I mean.
I hope that future editions of the Bibble will restore the girl-on-girl scenes that were edited out during the 12th century.
I am intrigued by your views and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
“And a person who DOES believe in God might not reach the same conclusions that he does. Some people might be inclined to quote Julia Sugarbaker: “If God was doling out sexually transmitted diseases as punishment for sinnin’, YOU would be going to the free clinic every day!”
I would also add, “So, how come God hasn’t come up with as fatal illness that ONLY afflicts rapists, and nobody else? How come he hasn’t gotten around to creating something that’ll cause a guy’s dick to just drop off the second he tries to lure a 9-year-old into a van?” And what message is he trying to send to lesbians? “Go ahead-you’re safer than you’d be with a dude!”
Y’know, Bill, I didn’t think that it was possible to love you any more than I already do, but damned if you didn’t just make me do it.
And yes, Julia Sugarbaker was the clincher. Bless your heart.
And no, Actor, you are STILL not off the fucking hook. I’ve met Reznor, bartenders I’ve known have had to deal with that twink, I’m not a fan of him PERSONALLY, but NIN, no matter that it’s like 95% HIM, you don’t fuck with the classics man, you just don’t go there, I don’t give a fuck WHAT the voices in yer head are screamin’!
Shit.
Is nothing sacred anymore? Next thing I know, you’re going to start fucking with PRINCE, and then me and you are gonna have some serious indiscrepancies, son.
For you, Annti:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Llu-muZuk
Is nothing sacred anymore? Next thing I know, you’re going to start fucking with PRINCE, and then me and you are gonna have some serious indiscrepancies, son.
Uhhhhhhhhhhh. So I should pull the headline off my draft blogpiece “We Gonna Partay Like It’s 1929″?
“All the straight victims of AIDS are just collateral damage in God’s war against fags”
The vast majority of AIDS victims in the world got HIV via heterosexuality.
Actor, you are a cruel and ruthless bastard. Who else would kick a woman when she’s dog-sick and hocking-up alien-epoxy fixatives out of her rattly, sarcoid-riddled lungs that could be the ideal glue to REBUILD THE ENTIRE DEATH STAR?!?!?!?!
For shame, my dear boy, FOR SHAME.
Go on. Into the corner with you. And don’t come back until you’ve either figured out a way to get this bronchial/sinus infection to FINALLY FUCKING DIE DIE DIIIIIIIIE!!!!!! or until you’ve found me an appropriate get-well present, like Donald Rumsfeld’s Tamiflu-shilling/fear-mongering bony old HEAD ON A STICK. Cash works, too, but it’s not nearly as satisfying as using Rummy’s noggin’ for tetherball.
And Bill, dear Bill, my sweetheart, sadly, the YouTube could not load. Dunno if that particular clip’s been yanked, but now that I can FINALLY catch up to 1999 and WATCH videos online, THAT ONE, they won’t let me have. Can you just gimme the Cliff’s Notes?
And yes, eventually, I will drag my haggard, sickly ass up to the current posts, but for now, this is the most recent commentary that I’ve got. Hell, go look at my blog, I’m barely alive over there, either.
But I love you for trying to amuse me, nonetheless. And no, I have not been to Mexico or Asia lately (or ever), and it’s NOT the Swine Flu, I don’t care HOW MANY “Miss Piggy” jokes that Actor and/or Preznit may have chambered and ready to fire.
would appreciate it if somebody could figure out a way to link the suction hose from my big ol’ ShopVac straight into my bronchial tubes, in order to remove said Alien Magic Putty from my bronchi, but I am in NO mood to play swine-flu-jokes-from-Shecky-Greene right now.

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