The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Sociological Research the Stossel Way!

John Stossel’s latest episode of TV “investigative journalism” has revealed that liberals are cheap. Here’s the Corner’s Jack Fowler to distill the Stossel wisdom into one paragraph:
Liberals Are Cheap! [Jack Fowler]
John Stossel’s 20/20 special last night – “Cheap in America” – was a great program, as usual for him, and had a wonderful segment comparing charitable giving between Red and Blue states, pitting Salvation Army bell-ringers in San Francisco (in front of a Macy’s) versus Sioux Falls, SD (in front of a Wal-Mart). At the end of the day, the folks in Sioux Falls’ had given twice as much money as Nancy Pelosi’s constituents. More of Stossel on conservative generosity/liberal cheapness here.
And by going to “here,” we can learn how John himself explains his research methodology:
To test what types of people give more, “20/20″ went to two very different parts of the country, with contrasting populations: Sioux Falls, S.D. and San Francisco, Calif. The Salvation Army set up buckets at the busiest locations in each city — Macy’s in San Francisco and Wal-Mart in Sioux Falls. Which bucket collected more money?
Well, Jack already revealed the surprise, but it’s clear that Stossel’s little experiment conclusively proved that liberals are cheap – after all, there’s no other explanation for why a bell-ringer in Sioux City would collect more than one in San Francisco . . . except that maybe San Franciscans objected to the religious discrimination the Salvation Army practices against its employees, and so chose to give their charitable contributions to other groups. Or maybe the San Franciscans give their contributions to the SA via payroll deduction or generous checks mailed to the regional office, and didn’t give anything more to the bell-ringer because they don’t carry around cash. Or any of a number of other reasons.

But considering these variables wouldn’t help Stossel to do what he set out to do: prove that it’s a big, stupid myth that liberals “care more about the less fortunate” than conservatives do. After all, that’s what makes great TV.

Anyway, tune in next time when Stossel will demolish the myth that liberals are smarter than conservatives by stopping passers-by outside the Macy’s in San Francisco and the Hooter in Midland, Texas, and quizzing them on NASCAR trivia.

Posted by s.z. on Friday, December 1st, 2006 at 4:42 am

24 Responses to “Sociological Research the Stossel Way!”

Yeah? Fucking tell that to Annti, you fuckwit Stossel. You don’t get to define charity, and you sure as hell don’t get to define helping out people with needs, ’cause you don’t believe in either, you libertarian toad, and you sure the fuck don’t believe in a social safety net.
Liberals are some of the most generous people I know, and they are *thoughtfully* generous. They think about who needs help and how to provide it, and they actually make an effort to do it, rather than tossing their register change in a bucket as an afterthought because they just spent five hundred bucks in the mall and don’t like having forty eight cents rattling in their pockets. Can’t you feel the compassion?
Personally, I can’t tell if he’s getting stupider or nastier or both, but God knows he’s making even less sense than he ever used to.
That would be the “Hooters.” They almost alway appear in pairs.
Of the top 25 states where people give an above average percent of their income, 24 were red states in the last presidential election.
This is utter horseshit on so many levels. God only knows where Stossel and his enablers like Arthur Brooks get their stats, but the only reliable data I’m aware of that tracks charitable giving as percentage of income is tax returns. According to the National Center for Charitable Statistics, (see the pdf file for 2004 for example) the average percent of income for charitable contributions for the U.S. is 2.4%. There were only 15 states with a higher than average percent (16 if you count D.C. at #2) and at least a third of these are certifiably Blue. (Note, this data eliminates non-itemized returns altogether.)
Moreover, as reflected in the #1 state, Utah, charitable giving includes church contributions, and this will skew any percentage, especially in areas where people tithe upwards of 15% or more of their annual income. Plus, in actual total dollar amounts of giving, the Blue states, and urban areas in particular, have it all over the Red.
Not to mention that Stossel has previously agreed with Cypress Semiconductor CEO and über-liberloon, T.J. Rogers’ expressed opinion that charitable giving is immoral when it is much more altruistic to use the money for captal investment that will allegedly create jobs.
Stossel is a fucking liar, in every respect. Nothing more.
(Sorry to be so lengthy, but I really loathe the creep.)
Not to mention that there might be just a few more Salvation Army bell-ringers in San Francisco than there are in Sioux Falls, and there might be a few other opportunities to give a couple of bucks to either organised charities or even directly to people in SF. Unless Stossel managed to shut down all charitable activities in both cities during his little experiment.
Ugh. What an idiot.
I don’t carry a lot of cash when I’m in a big city- and as fuyura says, there are lots more opportunities to give. I took names from the Salvation Army Silver Angel Tree, 2 kids and one “Grandpa”. Now I live in Nevada, but used to live in SF. A lovely, fun city.
I actually make it a point to avoid the bell ringers, if only because it’s annoying and contrived. So Stossel’s got me there. Someday, maybe he’ll ask about my other charitable giving. I doubt it tho; it wouldn’t fit into his perfect little red/blue picture. Can’t have that now, can we?
Forbes says Stoessel’s a liar. (surprise, surprise) Their list of the top ten states for charitable giving:
1) Utah (red)
2) Maryland (blue)
3) New York (blue)
4) Connecticut (blue)
5) California (blue)
6) Hawaii (blue)
7) New Jersey (blue)
8) Georgia (red)
9) S. Carolina (red)
10) N. Carolina (red)
Final tally: 6 blue, 4 red.
I used to give to the SA, but not after I found out that they spend a lot of money loobbying against anti-discrimination legislation. Sorry, but that’s not where I want my money to go. I iwsh some other organization stood out on the street so I could throw them a few bucks, however.
:::blushing astonishingly daintily:::
Awww, D…. You do my heart such good… but then, you and those magical cranes are works of wonder from another universe, as it is. And I feel highly privileged to know you all.
Now, granted, I am highly offended by the way that the Salvation Army has been known to shove bibles down the throats of the homeless as they’re ponying-up the sandwiches, not to mention that they DO discriminate against non-christians in employment, just like those nazi cocksuckers at Chik-Fil-A (I love their ad campaigns, but I hate their guts).
BUT: Even as the most stringent and fervent atheist that I know, I cannot forget that, while the American Red Cross was pulling their puddins in hotel rooms in LaPlace, Louisiana, for SIX FUCKING DAYS, while awaiting *permission* from the STIL-VACATIONING King George to go into Jefferson, Orleans, and St. Bernard Parishes — The Salvation Army food wagons and all their volunteers were in there, THE DAY THAT THE STORM HIT. And they STAYED. The WHOLE FUCKING TIME. They never “bugged out” with all of the other late evacuees from Charity Hospital and every other source of help/comfort/food (except for Andrea from getyouracton.com & her dear hubby & their animal-rescue & soup-kitchen in the 9th Ward).
So, while I will never patronize the Salvation Army or their bell-ringers if I can help it (although they used to have a KILLER thrift store on Jefferson Highway, but it’s long gone, unfortunately), and I do not support their xian bigotry that they think is “exempt” from EEOC laws or enforcement — I will never forget that they were THERE in New Orleans when nobody else was.
Please return to your discussion, I just hadda throw my two cents’ worth in.
And yes, the Leolathon is still in progress, kids. Please keep passing the good word for us, will y’all? She’s going to Shreveport to see that specialist on Tuesday, so cross yer fingers, light yer candles, make wishes to the fairie wood sprites, whatever works. Hopefully after that, we’ll have a more accurate idea of what can really realistically be done, which program/hospital will best suited for her needs, and when we can get the surgery to actually HAPPEN.
And tell Stossel and his pseudo-libertarian trolls to stick THAT in their porno moustaches and smoke it.
The simplest explanation is that Wal-mart had more traffic than Macy’s that day, and so there were more people to drop money in their buckets.
I give only to secular charities.
I think I did one of my first-year college students a grave disservice. He recently wrote a paper where he used one outside source and some loose and very loaded personal observations as his data. Instead of explaining that he needed more research to make his case (which, unlike Stoessel’s, was pretty interesting) and he needed to rethink his support, I should have told him he was now qualified to take over John Stoessel’s job (well, he still needs to grow the moustache and become considerably dumber).
Stossel’s methodology is flawless, his conclusions incontrovertible.
Did I mention I ride a unicorn, and have the power of invisibility?
Ha, you can’t see me!
“I can’t tell if he’s getting stupider or nastier”(D. Sidhe)
Well, that nastier he gets, the stupider he gets.
Fair enough. Actually, I would think the most logical explanation is that people aren’t mostly buying Cheez Whiz and CDs at Macy’s and therefore tend to put stuff on the credit card. Coming out of Wal*Mart, odds are good you’ll have more change in your pocket than you did when you went in. Last I looked, bellringers don’t take Visa.
Really, all this proves is that liberals are *smarter* than conservatives, or at least smarter than John Stossel and Jack Fowler.
Annti, I got your card. :-) You know it’s going to take freaking *forever* to hang those, right? There’s a reason I don’t string the damned things. *Way* too much work.
I sort of assumed, for the record, that Stossel wouldn’t give a fuck about abandoned animals, which is a shame, since S.Z. is one of the most generous people I know, too.
My midwestern heart just wants to point out to Tbogg that “Sioux City” is in Iowa and “Sioux Falls” is in South Dakota. I know they are both in fly-by-land for you librul coastal, latte-sipping, Macys-shopping folks in San Diego/Fransciso/Antonio and other places with major sport franchises but we like to keep them distinct.
OK, back to bashing the Idiot With The ‘Stache.
Erm, as a former South Dakotan I have to partially corroborate what jpj just said, but also correct it. Sioux City has a presence in Iowa and South Dakota. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, there’s a part of the city that’s in Nebraska too.
Macy’s in San Francisco and Walmart in Sioux Falls? Walmart is pretty much the only place to go in Sioux Falls (there’s a Target too, but they don’t have the bell ringers any more).
The only thing Stossel did was just prove once again what a tool he is.
Conservatives, especially religious conservatives give a larger PERCENTAGE of their income to charity. Check your facts based on Percentage of Income not total dollar amount by state. Also, you might want to read the book by Arthur C. Brooks. “Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth about Compassionate Conservatism ” to see some hard facts about this issue.
Book Description
Surprising proof that conservatives really are more compassionate–and more generous–than liberals
We all know we should give to charity, but who really does? Approximately three-quarters of Americans give their time and money to various charities, churches, and causes; the other quarter of the population does not. Why has America split into two nations: givers and non-givers?
Arthur Brooks, a top scholar of economics and public policy, has spent years researching this trend, and even he was surprised by what he found. In Who Cares, he demonstrates conclusively that conservatives really are compassionate-far more compassionate than their liberal foes. Strong families, church attendance, earned income (as opposed to state-subsidized income), and the belief that individuals, not government, offer the best solution to social ills-all of these factors determine how likely one is to give.
Charity matters–not just to the givers and to the recipients, but to the nation as a whole. It is crucial to our prosperity, happiness, health, and our ability to govern ourselves as a free people. In Who Cares, Brooks outlines strategies for expanding the ranks of givers, for the good of all Americans.
About the Author
Arthur C. Brooks is professor of public administration at Syracuse University’s Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs. He is the author of numerous articles and books on topics relating to charity and civic life, and his work appears frequently in the Wall Street Journal and other publications.
Besides, Left-Wing Liberals are only generous with other people’s money. (Can you say Socialism?)
Yeah, Arthur C. Brooks also belives that political opinions are genetic:
But the data on young Americans tell a different story. Simply put, liberals have a big baby problem: They’re not having enough of them, they haven’t for a long time, and their pool of potential new voters is suffering as a result. According to the 2004 General Social Survey, if you picked 100 unrelated politically liberal adults at random, you would find that they had, between them, 147 children. If you picked 100 conservatives, you would find 208 kids. That’s a “fertility gap” of 41%. Given that about 80% of people with an identifiable party preference grow up to vote the same way as their parents, this gap translates into lots more little Republicans than little Democrats to vote in future elections. Over the past 30 years this gap has not been below 20%–explaining, to a large extent, the current ineffectiveness of liberal youth voter campaigns today.
I would hazard to state that Republicans have a bigger baby problem, in that the head of their party is a big baby.
Winch that beam out of your own eye first, Prof.
Real sociological studies state that (1) rich people generally give the LEAST amount to charity, as a percentage of income, and (2) Republicans give the next least. In addition, I don’t consider money “tithed” to churches as “charity” unless the money actually goes to soup kitchens and the like. Stossel wouldn’t know a real sociological study if it bit his mustache off.
Yeah JFreak, every conservative I know who complains about having to pay 2 cents in taxes is extremely willing to give money to charity. Well, not really, but they would be if they didn’t have to pay any taxes. Trust them. They’re *only* not giving because they just give so much to the gummint and they should use that money for the poor, except that would be welfare and those people are just a bunch of lazy parasites who should die before they’ll lift a hand to help them, and what help do they need anyway they live the high life on our money and they’re lucky because they don’t have to pay any taxes–but, only because they have to pay those damn taxes. Otherwise, they’d be more than willing to help out the subhuman parasites, in between going up to the homeless and brightening up their days by saying mean things to them. Really.
JFreak,
I know this is too late in the thread to help your poor soul but the National Center for Charitable Statistics link posted above details charitable giving as percentage of income, based on actual tax return data, and the result contradicts both Brooks and Stossel. Learn to read.
n addition, I don’t consider money “tithed” to churches as “charity” unless the money actually goes to soup kitchens and the like.
Amen. Tithe money that goes to building and grounds upkeep and living expenses for religious staffing is not charity any more than homeowner association fees or greens fees or private school fees. It’s a straightforward business transaction: in exchange for your money, you get a minister and a place to worship and a classroom, all things that must be paid for by someone if they are to exist at all. If you use these things, you have some obligation to help pay for their availability. It’s not charity, just like it wouldn’t be charity to hand over six hundred bucks every week to rent a ballroom at the local Ramada in which to hold services.
Also, it is not charity for you to demand your employers donate time or money to your pet causes. Nor is it charity to put up a food drive barrel in your grocery store with the expectation that customers will buy food and put it in, nor to promise to donate ten cents to cancer research for every one of your yogurt lids your customers mail to you.
Or, rather, these things are charity, but they are not *your* charity. They are acts of selflessness on the part of people who have, in most cases, less than your company does, and are willing to share what they have, knowing that in exchange for this they will likely get from you a perfunctory pat on the back while you reap PR benefits. (What was that about socialism?)
And, just for the record, if these vicariously philanthropic businessmen claim any of this charity-by-proxy as a tax benefit, they are quite simply fuckweasels.
Ooooohhh, Annti. The shame you should feel. You just made me hate the Slaveation Army slightly less. Ever since I read that they asked the Shrub Administration specifically if they could employment-discriminate against gay people, I have vowed to never, never drop another penny in their effin’ x-mess kettles. Never. Then you had to write that about New Orleans. Damn, damn, damn! Well, at least I’ve held back from chewing out the poor monkey manning the kettle–after all, he isn’t the “decider!” Though it’s likely he agrees with their decisions. Feh. :(

Thursday, March 17, 2011

More Marley

During our sporadic Fox News viewing on Wednesday we didn’t happen to catch our new friend Bob “an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato” Marley’s appearance there. So, we did a Google News search, and learned all we needed to about his Christmas Crusade.
Marley’s appearance there. So, we did a Google News search, and learned all we needed to about his Christmas Crusade.First, fromCatholic Online, we found out why he has the time to post comments to our obscure blog:
Massachusetts developer Robert Marley, his brother and a friend were incensed by last year’s efforts to neutralize Christmas. This year, he put his construction business on hold to create the Committee to Save Christmas in Massachusetts – a regional group that is trying to remind retailers of the reason for the season.
While we applaud Bob’s sacrifice, we do have to say that making prank phone calls to Best Buy is a lot easier than working construction … or, you know, working at anything.
But here’s more, from the North Shore TownOnline:
Locally, three Lynnfield guys are leading the charge to take back Christmas. Brothers Robert and Kevin Marley and their business partner Steve Ciambelli have started the Coalition to save Christmas in Massachusetts.
“It’s very simple,” says Kevin Marley. “We’re talking about saving our traditions.”
The Marleys and Ciambelli, who call themselves just regular guys, have done something a little irregular. They have made the malls and shopping centers across the state the front line on the fight for Christmas.
[…]
“What makes this so offensive is this is a deliberate attack on Christmas,” says Robert Marley.
Yes, Bed, Bath, & Beyond, your “Happy Holidays” is a deliberate attack on Christmas, and therefore, a deliberate attack on Christians like Bob.  Oh, the humanity!  This must be the kind of persecution that the Bible predicted would afflict the saints in the last days – but who knew it would be so ugly!
“What’s next?” asks Robert Marley. “Do you shoot the Easter Bunny?”
Just to be safe, the Bunny better pack heat come spring.
But back to the Christmas Crusaders.
 ”We’re not activists,” says Ciambelli, although the three are a little taken by the all the attention their coalition and Web site has drawn.
And they probably went on Fox News just to express their consternation at all the attention.
What is comes down to, what it’s all about for the Marleys and Ciambelli, is saving Christmas and all its traditions for their families and for their kids.
 ”How does everything get changed right under our noses?” asks Kevin Marley, who points out that not only has the assault on Christmas been gradual and steady, it’s come at a time when we’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, that we have to be respectful and tolerant of other faiths and traditions.
And the Marleys and Ciambelli want to know how that all works out to something fair.
“What about the tolerance for us?” asks Robert Marley. “Why do we have to tolerate everyone else when no one wants to tolerate Christmas?
It’s sad that nobody in the whole state of MA will tolerate these three guys, or their holiday (an obscure celebration called “Christmas”) — especially after they’ve had to tolerate everyone else for so long (and some of their fellow Massachusettsians are real jerks)!. So, to make it up to the Crusaders, instead of just instructing all their employees to wish them an “EXTRA Merry Marley and Ciambelli Christmas, with sugar on it,” the stores should probably give these brave men some free stuff — you know, to compensate them for all the pain and suffering they experience by being lumped in with everyone else who was celebrating a holiday this season when it came time to extend to them a perfunctory and insincere commercial greeting.
“Please, just give us back our day.”
Um, Bob, it’s JESUS’S day. Get your own birthday.

But actually, Bob isn’t the nuttiest guy quoted in these pieces. That would be Fox News’s John “I’m Not O’Reilly” Gibson.
“I used to call those opposed to Christmas ‘secularists,’ but the shadows have become clearer,” said Gibson, who authored the 2005 book, The War on Christmas. “These are angry atheists. They have had it with believers. They don’t want to talk to them, listen to them or be on the same side as believers.”
“Groups like the American Civil Liberties Union said that Christmas could be celebrated in the homes of Christians and their churches,” said Gibson. “The implication was that it shouldn’t be celebrated in public. If the faithful are interested in this, they ought to look at the wider picture. This is an organized bunch. Heads-up, believers, they are coming after you.”
Heads-up, believers, you’d probably emulate the Easter Bunny (and Dr. Mike, Ph.D.), and get a big bunch of Christmas guns.  After all, this is WAR, and it’s either you or that teenaged Target clerk!
Posted by s.z. on Friday, December 1st, 2006 at 2:51 am


44 Responses to "More Marley"

Do you shoot the Easter Bunny? Well, if we’re talking about Easter, shouldn’t we be crucifying the bunny and seeing if he forgives us our sins and comes back from the dead? Wait, that was Jesus. Doesn’t this guy even realize how much he shoots himself in the foot by insisting on protecting Christmas and tradition and morals and then making reference to a secular symbol for a Christian holiday? Unless this is the start of the War on Easter!
Left by y_run_i_do on December 1st, 2006


“Please, just give us back our day.”

Ditto. And give us back the fertility goddess/bunnysex thing, too. Also the thing with the ghosts and demons, you guys aren’t even using that one.
Left by D. Sidhe on December 1st, 2006


He’s a Pats fan? That must mean it’s all somehow Brad R.’s fault.

Also, I’m incensed that every year, complete strangers fail to wish me a happy birthday. Please, just give me back my day.
Left by Bistroist on December 1st, 2006


How is this for a compromise: Wal-Mart hires a whole lot of illegal aliens whose only job is to wish everybody Merry Christmas, but they can’t speak English so they wish everybody Merry Christmas, but they do it in Vietnamese or Urhdu.

And then for the Christmas Spectacular on Fox they all appear with Bill O’Reilly. And does Bob Marley look eerily like Bing Crosby?
Left by tomg on December 1st, 2006


I take no responsibility for this guy! (Though he is in my neck of the woods, so I should probably post stuff about him ’cause he’s funny. Thanks, SZ! GO PATS!!!!)
Left by Brad R. on December 1st, 2006


Amazing huh? Christians make up 98% of America and yet they think their precious holiday is under attack. Whose fault would that be?

Whiners…
Left by Witch King on December 1st, 2006


I say we go back to the true meaning of Christmas. You know, Yule log, winter solistice parties (Saturnalia), mistletoe, all that good stuff. Those pagans among us should insist the Christians give them back their day!
Left by Joe Buddha on December 1st, 2006


Witch King,

I think Christians are down to about 80% in the U.S. That’s what all the whining is about.

This quote sums the attitude up neatly: ”How does everything get changed right under our noses?”

These doofuses can’t deal with change nor other people different from them having a say. Pretty pathetic, actually. And anti-American to boot, no matter how many quotes from the Declaration of Independence they put on their website.
Left by Sandra Claus on December 1st, 2006


“Give us back our day”? OK. Fine. Then, we’ll expect you to give it back to the pagans, OK?

Silly Xians, Jesus was born in June.
Left by Johnny M on December 1st, 2006


Excuse me? Give me back MY day, thank you! I seem to recall that absolutely NOTHING but 7-11, and hospitals are open on “their” day.
Left by Humbert Dinglepencker on December 1st, 2006


Hey, Bistroist, what’s your birthday?

Actually, movie theaters and Chinese restaurants and zoos and public aquaria are also open on 25 December–we spend ours at some combination of two of those every year.

Seriously. Go to a zoo. The critters are interesting and the crowds are thinner. (Gift shops/concessionaries may not be open. But I have yet to meet the zoo that opposed you bringing in sandwiches.)
Left by D. Sidhe on December 1st, 2006


I get a 3-to-5 week bout of daily cluster headaches about once a year, usually spanning the holidays. Since I can’t drive when I’ve got one–or even when expecting one–I often wind up going to the movies on Christmas Day (we have two multiplexes within easy walking distance). And one of the nice things about this tradition is that the box office personnel, ticket-takers, and the guy who sells the popcorn and Abazaba bars are all seemingly exempt from the retail sector’s obligation to seal our transaction with a seasonal wish.
Left by scott on December 1st, 2006


“Red blood on white snow, that’s the only ‘true meaning’ I know.” — Terry Pratchett

Marley’s a Gaelic name, so Bob needs to stop gassing about this jumped-up Jebus-come-lately “Christmas” perversion of the Spirit of the Season, and find his true roots in the bloody sacrifice of the Winter King to ensure that the Sun will rise again after the longest night of the year. How, his Druidic ancestors wonder, did we let everything *change* around us? When did today’s kids become so areligious and weak-minded? Surely we need a higher quality of Winter King for this year’s sacrifice! Oh, Roooobert?…

(Yeah, well, mostly I wanted an excuse to recommend Prachett’s HOGFATHER as an excellent Xmas tradition for those among us who maintain a sense of humor along with our sense of wonder.)
Left by Anne Laurie on December 1st, 2006


76% and falling, according to Barna. The fastest-growing religion in the country is Wicca, and the number of people reporting estrangement from all churches has doubled in a decade. And could someone mention to the Marley boys, and Catholic Online while they’re at it, that the Roman church used to be on the receiving end of religious intolerance in this country? Big time? As in that’s why there are parochial schools?

By the way, Wal*Mart, pretty much alone among major retailers, reported dismal November sales and a poor outlook for December. Coincidence? My invisible guidance counselor says no.
Left by Doghouse Riley on December 1st, 2006


could those guys look any more like a civilly united gay couple?
Left by tony on December 2nd, 2006


Well, the good news is that Bob Marley isn’t dead after all. Though I wish he would go back to smoking spliffs and playing music instead of wasting his time on this non-issue.
Left by Clifford the BRD on December 2nd, 2006


I can’t believe all this change to our cherished holiday traditions. What’s next? Do you kill Jesus? Because that would be… um… wait.
Left by FlipYrWhig on December 2nd, 2006


D. Sidhe, the zoo sounds like a good idea on December 25, given that I live less than a mile from the National Zoo. But it may be c-c-c-cold. Or at least by my native-Californian standards.

When my kids were littler, we always went during Passover with another family. All of the photographs display plenty of orange-labeled Manischewitz matzo and macaroon containers.

The East Coast city tradition for we Jews is to go to a real Chinese Chinese restaurant. On December 25, there’s nobody there but hordes of Jews and Chinese people. Given adoptions by folks I know, some patrons are both.
Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on December 2nd, 2006


These great great great great grandsons of mine are a real disgrace.
Left by Marley's Ghost on December 2nd, 2006


You know, if these idiots really wanted to do something for the holidays in MA, they could waste their time following the Mayor around harassing him about not putting up the Enchanted Village. Of course it’s not an important issue, but it’s been a holiday tradition for what, more than 100 years and the proceeds go to charity, I believe, so if they want to waste their time at least it would be put to better use on that. But yeah, it’s not explicitly Christocentric enough, so they don’t care.
Left by Carpathian on December 4th, 2006


“To believe in nothing, to honor nothing, to respect nothing or hold anything dear, is the highest indication of the depravity of the human heart…”
Left by techbeat on December 4th, 2006


What would you know about Jesus anyway? From what I’ve seen you worship only yourself and anything vile or disgusting! At least the site is accurately named anyway! If you REALLY want to hear some bitching and whining, just try to do away with Kwanza, or say or do anything that’s even remotely percieved to be against Islam and you’ll quickly discover where the roots of intollerance and hatred truely lie! For those of you who may have wondered what it was like during the fall of the Roman Empire, just look around you, it was probably a lot like it is right now in America! Enjoy it while it lasts because it will all be gone in the blink of an eye one day soon when we all awaken in the midst of the most hellish nightmare that anyone could possibly have ever imagined or dreamed! No man knows the day or hour, but that day draws ever closer and it will come like a thief in the night, and no I’m not referring to Santa. In that hour millions will finally turn to Him for their salvation, but He will turn His back on them, just as they have turned their backs on Him, and denied Him. And in that moment they will learn how false their wiccan nonsense and the many other lies, distractions and diversions of Satan truely were! Prepare to reap precisely what you have sewn sinners and fools. Laugh until your heart’s content; just wait and see who’s laughing when it actually happens! What better day to cleanse the earth of sinners and non-believers than on Christmas day? I’d welcome it, and the sooner the better, while there’s still a viable planet worth saving!
Left by Steve on December 4th, 2006


Thank you for your efforts – it is very much appreciated by the majority of us in never-never land that are really the purchasers and normal people who know something just ‘ain’t’ right about the situation. Something is wrong when a few (or sometimes NO ONE) has been complaining and we still have to change things to make them comfortable.
Left by jana on December 4th, 2006


Thank God for Bob & Kevin Marley………a round of applause for the both of them for saving Christmas. Perhaps the entire Christian community should stop making purchases at the happy holiday stores. Besides I think Christmas has become too commercialized and a money making business for non-believers and foreign countries. Let’s put Christ back into Christmas….Have a Merry Christmas dinner with family and friend and may the peace and light of Christmas glow in our hearts everyday. Good night to all and to all a very Merry Christmas.
Left by Anne Marie on December 4th, 2006


This time of year I shop for Christmas presents, not holiday presents. Greet me with Merry Christmas or I will buy somewhere else.

I support these gentlemen in their effort and applause their courage.

If you don’t like “Merry Christmas”, or find it offensive develope your own holiday with your own holiday presents, lights, and trees.

Suggest around Feb. or March. We need another holiday around that time of year. I don’t care, because I find “Happy Holiday’s” very offensive.
Left by John D on December 4th, 2006


Load me up with pagan symbolism as I celebrate the virgin birth of the son of the great sky fairy, during the wrong month, with an orgy of materialism and epicurianism. This one hell of a holliday!
Left by ironicname on December 4th, 2006


oh, and happy hollidays!
Left by ironicname on December 4th, 2006


A lot of the people here are screaming pansy liberals. Merry Christmas. Oh and here are some facts on the Marley Brothers notice BROTHERS they are not a gay couple. They grew up in Revere, MA and thrived into self made developers they are very good men.
Left by Matt on December 4th, 2006

Darlings, feel free to shop somewhere else. I’m guessing nobody cares. Also, feel free to wish anybody you like anything you like, if you’re more interested in asserting your claim over a culturally appropriated astrological milepost than you are in spreading goodwill.

Man, I miss the days when you people were all whining about how overcommercialized the holidays were and shouldn’t we all be spending time with our families and not worrying about the decorations in the stores.

For the record, kids, we’re in a different thread now. It’s fairly safe to say anything more you post down here is going to be read only by yourselves and people who are really, really hard up for entertainment.
Left by D. Sidhe on December 5th, 2006


Wow! Thanks, Marley Bros, for the spike in hits! Hits=Money! You’re helping to fund our War on the “War On Christmas”! (in other words, our war on lame, made up crap that only exists to make privileged people feel persecuted).
Left by maryc on December 5th, 2006


And yes. I AM really hard up for entertainment. Time to read “Holidays on Ice” (available at the WoC amazon store)
Left by maryc on December 5th, 2006


Enjoy it while it lasts because it will all be gone in the blink of an eye one day soon when we all awaken in the midst of the most hellish nightmare that anyone could possibly have ever imagined or dreamed!

Aahh… Nothing quite says “Christmas spirit” like a little joyous anticipation of the coming Armegeddon. Can’t come fast enough for you, can it?

Happy Holidays, every one of you.
Left by RobW on December 5th, 2006


And yes. I AM really hard up for entertainment.

Well, yes. All us draft dodgers in the War On Christmas and the War Against The War On Christmas are. What with the not shopping for our unloved ones and the not wrapping our festive gifts and the not going to religious services and the not sending dozens of outraged emails to Blockbusters Video because they put The Santa Clause 2 on the clearance rack and the not wassailing and pageanting and Charlie Brown Christmassing and the like.

I might even get around to organizing my bookcases by category: Queerness, Secularism, Feminism, Communism, Destroying The American Family, Supporting The Terrorists, Global Warming, Evolution, etc.
Left by D. Sidhe on December 5th, 2006


I don’t care, because I find “Happy Holiday’s” very offensive.

That’s so funny, because I find wayward apostrophes very offensive! Would you look at that!
Left by ACG on December 5th, 2006


Prepare to reap precisely what you have sewn sinners and fools. Laugh until your heart’s content; just wait and see who’s laughing when it actually happens!

Isn’t this pretty much precisely the attitude that Jesus warned against? You’re never supposed to take sides against someone else’s salvation. So, unfortunately, Steve, I’ll see you in Hell.
Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006


Steve, precious, you left some exclamation points on my bedstand last night, and I wanted to make sure you got them back so you don’t come up short in a post. I’ll set them down here:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Call me!
Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006


Oh damn, Happenstance, don’t you know that making a 40+ year old woman laugh that hard usually results in them wetting their pants?

Happy Holidays, everyone!
Left by CLD on December 6th, 2006


“because I find “Happy Holiday’s” very offensive.”

Left by John D on December 4th, 2006

Happy Holiday’s John D!

Now won’t you please think of the children and FOAD.
Left by Karl Rove II on December 6th, 2006


Oh Lord (yes, lord, we’re trying to make you guys comfortable) can you PLEASE change your name to Saving Christmas in New Hampshire? You know, if anyone asks where you’re from after 17 misspellings and 14 quintuple exclaimation points, just say, “New Hampshire,” that way everybody’s happy.

Steve, if that was your paraphrase of the Sermon on the Mount, you forgot the part where Jesus says, “Prince of Peace, MY ASS! Suck it pussies and muzzies!” right before he rips off his bandana and peppers the gay mosque with bullets. From a theological perspective, that’s an important omission.
Left by Carpathian on December 8th, 2006


I think you guys like the free speach, he ?

Doesn’t seem so on this Crap site. I am missing my post. Censering the posts ??

You like onyl YOUR way of thinking ??

I guess Amerika still needs a Pagan Holiday.

Merry Christmas !!!
Left by honeypot on December 12th, 2006


I think you guys like the free speach, he ?
Doesn’t seem so on this Crap site. I am missing my post. Censering the posts ??

You like onyl YOUR way of thinking ??
I guess Amerika still needs a Pagan Holiday.
Merry Christmas !!!Left by honeypot on December 12th, 2006


Commenting under the influence or Pastor Swank? You be the judge!
Left by maryc on December 13th, 2006


I say Merry Christmas to all
Left by someguy on December 13th, 2006


i love these guys. they speak the truth.
Left by Bubba O'reily. on June 6th, 2009

Monday, February 21, 2011

Pearl Harbor for the Christmas Warriors

As s.z. mentioned below, World O’ Crap was recently favored with a visit by Bob Marley, the fearless Christmas Crusader and offspring of a mesalliance between a Jamaican reggae artist and the co-proprietor of a Victorian counting house. Bob posted his comments in a forgotten two week-old thread, which must have been fun since he had the place to himself, and could stay up as late as he wanted, make prank phone calls, and dance around in his underwear to old Bob Seger songs.

And why not? Much like the Democratic Party in the afterglow of the midterm elections, Bob is riding high. He, his brother Alfalfa, and the other guys in the He-Man Happy Holiday Haters’ Club have brought mighty Wal*Mart to its knees, and are about to bomb our educational system back to a pre-Madelyn Murray O’Hair state of grace.

From their impregnable base at www.savingchristmasinmass.com, they labor ceaselessly to ensure that this season we all enjoy a more, shall we say, Cathaginian Peace on Earth; and as they roll on unopposed to…

Oops.

Seems the juggernaut may have hit a bit of a snag. It appears that Bob forgot to renew his domain name.

Domain Name: savingchristmasinmass.com
Registrant
————————————————————
Name: Admin -
Organization: Maltuzi Holdings
Email: admin@maltuzi.com
Address: 800 West El Camino Real Suite 180
City, Province, Post Code: Mountain View, CA, 94040
Country: US
Phone: 650-814-6730

Creation Date: 11/27/06
Expiration Date: 11/27/07
Domain Status:

Maltuzi Holdings appear to be consummate cyber-squatters.  As one dissatisfied customer wrote:

If you came here looking for Maltuzi Holdings, you’re probably wondering what the hell is going on with your domain name.
Maltuzi Holdings picks up domains that others forget to pay for, buy domains that are misspellings of popular domains, and try to plant links to these domains in weblogs and forums. If they are contacted they play stupid better than any other company I’ve ever tried to deal with. Dont even bother trying to talk to them, it’s a waste of time.
Apparently, these guys are professional name-nappers. They lie in wait untill a domain name is free and then grab it–usually on the day the original registratione expires. They also excel in mass-registering deliberately mispelled domains in an effort to steal traffic.

Ordinarily, I’d feel bad for Bob and the rest of his Crusader Rabbits, especially since he probably directed people to his website when (or if) he appeared on Fox News. But since he feels that Christmas belongs in commercial establishments, then surely he also believes that commerce belongs in Christmas, and as any visitor to the new savingchristmasinmass.com can see, it’s fiercely dedicated to the sale of merchandise with a traditional Christmas theme, such as cards, ornaments, and office supplies. Not to mention its many Yuletide links to airline travel, used cars, casino gambling, ringtones, and dating services for Jewish singles.

So I say to Bob, don’t despair! Don’t look upon this as a setback in your campaign, but as yet another way to touch people with the true meaning of Christmas. Yesterday, it was Wal*Mart. Today, the schools. And tomorrow, Real Estate Training and Pet Supplies!

Onward, Christian Soldiers! (Or, more specifically, Onward Those Who Support Our Christian Soldiers, But Feel That They Themselves Can Best Contribute To Our Ultimate Victory In The War On Christmas By Creating Websites And Then Forgetting About Them, But Making Up For It By Posting Comments In A Moribund Thread On Some Obscure Blog.)

26 Responses to “Pearl Harbor for the Christmas Warriors”

Lucky for Marley that Maltuzi grabbed his domain name. I had a friend who let his registry expire; some outfit grabbed it the next day and put up a porn site, and told him he could have his domain name back for an ungodly fee, paid in advance. (He ended up changing his domain name instead, cheaper but a huge hassle.) Imagine Marley having to explain THAT to all his religious zealout buddies!
That reminds me to make sure my domain name is renewed. I think that’s coming up again soon. Although it seems unlikely it would be replaced with a porn site. Believe me, no one would notice the difference, though possibly in a couple years someone might email to ask why there’s more pictures and where the turkey thing went. (Don’t ask.)
Poor Mr Marley. Some Scrooge has humbugged his monopoly on Baby Jesus. That didn’t come out quite right, but I kinda like it.
Bob, look at it this way: you’re just supporting the free market, and to do otherwise makes you a pinko commie who, really, should be over here celebrating the holidays with us liberals as we socialistically try to provide for demi-Hitler-kittens and kids who otherwise would be stuck with a Talking Jesus doll.
Join us, Bob! Be one with our causes! Or choose your own cause! We’re liberals! We don’t care! All we ask is respect, all we offer is respect. Join us!
*Singing* Du passe faisons table rase… Foules, esclaves, debout, debout! Le monde va changer a base! Nous ne sommes rien soyons tout! C’est la lutte finale, groupon-nous. Et demain L’Internationale sera le genre humane!…
(Correcting my French is entirely respectful. Have at it.)
Good Lord, I’m being moderated? What on earth made you guys wait this long?
It was the French. WordPress took exception to your provincial accent.
No, it wasn’t just the French, or the accent (although it sounded pretty good to me). It was the sentiment. “Foules, esclaves, debout, debout!” WordPress well knows that such an idea will immediately provoke the scrutiny of the NSA.
On Some Obscure Blog
ah, far from it. I read this first thing in the AM and several times during the day. I sing it’s praises far and wide, even unto the Great White North (and no, not to any of our great white wingnuts, to actual decent folk)
War on Christmas rule of thumb: If you really care one way or another whether people say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays”, you are a dork. If you are actually willing to take the time to make a website about it and organize a boycott, you are a mega-dork. That settles it.
The whole point of whining if someone wishes them “Happy Holidays” is that the Christmas Warriors don’t want to be treated merely equally with others. If they’re not getting BETTER treatement (their holiday acknowledged, everyone else’s snubbed), it’s a “war” on them.
So instead of “Merry Christmas,” I suggest using the greeting they really want: “You poor, persecuted VICTIM!”
Well, all I can say is if my Target (located in the HEAVILY Jewish neighborhood bordering on West Hollywood) doesn’t start wishing ME and everyone else a “Happy Hanukkah”, I’m gonna declare that there is a War on Hanukkah!
[...] Original post by scott Tags: Christian Dating [...]
I don’t have anything to add, Scott, I just wanted to let you know that as I was driving home this afternoon I started singing “Implants and Underpants” right out of the blue.
Wow, I’m glad my domain name is self-renewing.
I can imagine ol’ Bob there is Googling his name again and coming across this eruption of interest, and grinding his teeth for the ridicule he’s too chicken to come in and face in real time…
Onward, Christmas molarrrrrrrrs…
OK, it was a stretch for a lame joke, but you gotta admit the set up was pretty good.
I wish someone would rerun Saturday Night Live’s skit about the night before Xmas and how Santa got food poisoning so his wife called their friend Hanukkah Harry to distribute the gifts.
As a classicist I must protest: It’s “Carthaginian”, not “Cathaginian.”
Surrender, Marley!
We of the Massachusetts website “StopXmas.com” declare victory over Marley and his ilk! After all, if a commander can’t get the support and supply chain right, his soldiers will lose every battle!
No Christmas in MA this year, Marley. Happy Holidays!
(Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
They found a new site. It is:
http://www.savingchristmasinmass.homestead.com/
Wow, check these fools out!
Gotta love these guys. From their list of Scrooge Stores: “Bed Bath & Beyond hung up the phone on us.” Waaah!
That’s nothing! This is what they write about Kohl’s:
“We don’t know what they are doing, there are 17 trees for sale and only one is called a Christmas Tree, the one that is upside down!!! That is completely disrespectful.
Instead of “symbolic” pointing to Heaven, the tree now points to HELL. We are finished with Kohl’s, for the rest of our lives, we will never shop at Kohl’s, the ANTI-CHRIST.”
It really has it all: capitals, insane outrage over something trivial and even entire paragraphs underlined. I think Marley’s been dragging his chains way too long a time.
Um. Okay, I’m gonna rescind my offer to Bob to join us liberals in our causes. ‘Cause, from the looks of his site, he’s going to be the guy standing in the middle of the protest with his sign backwards, yelling “Two Four Five Eight, Please Do Not Discriminate!”
We have enough problems, really.
Damn, I hate these lunatics. I have this really cool blinking lighted sign with retro style lettering that says “merry Christmas” and I don’t want to put it up because I don’t want any of my wingnut neighbors to take it as an invite to stop by for crazy talk. I’m going to go buy the “happy holidays” and “season’s greetings” signs instead just to piss them off. lol
If you put the Happy Holidays up *with* the Merry Christmas, it might keep them away anyway. Consider “peace on earth”, too. They don’t seem to be into that one.
Yeah, good point. I was extremely torn about buying Merry Christmas over Happy Holidays in the first place just because of this nonsense, but the MC is bigger and the script style is more stylin’. If I put up a peace sign and a HH too they’ll know they can’t claim me for their army of unnecessary seasonal confrontation.
[...] Read more: here [...]
“That’s nothing! This is what they write about Kohl’s:
“We don’t know what they are doing, there are 17 trees for sale and only one is called a Christmas Tree, the one that is upside down!!! That is completely disrespectful.
Instead of “symbolic” pointing to Heaven, the tree now points to HELL. We are finished with Kohl’s, for the rest of our lives, we will never shop at Kohl’s, the ANTI-CHRIST.”
I once worked for Kohl’s, and while I can’t vouch for their anti-Christfulness or not, I can tell you they don’t give a flying f@ck whether or not you have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Channukah or a wonderful Pagan solstice. Like every other business entity in the universe, they need to make a lot of money during this season to stay afloat, and will do or say anything that helps attain that goal. These idiots can’t see the forest for the trees, and hopefully a well placed branch will bring some Social Darwinism into their otherwise pathetic, myopic lives.
Other than that, Merry Christmas!

The Latest War on Christmas Casualty Report

It seems that Bob “These Are the Chains I Forged at Wal-Mart” Marley, the guy who almost single-handedly saved Christmas in MA, Googled himself and found Scott’s post “Have a Coke and a Heil.”  So, he honored this humble blog with some classified war reporting, which we feel compelled to share with a wider audience.  
Take for instance this important WOC manifesto: 
To all you cool-aid drinking secular progressives, I can understand your disappointment, you fought so long and so hard, notwithstanding, we have unraveled in weeks what it has taken years for you to achieve. When we are finished with the stores, the schools are next.
Zounds, despite his inability to spell, this Bob has foiled our carefully laid plan, which we have worked on for decades, to force Wal-Mart to commercialize some other religious winter holidays.  And Bob now has us on the run, for in this country you gotta take the stores. Then when you get the stores, you get the schools. Then when you get the schools, you get the power.  And when you get the power, you get the women. 
Or something like that.
Anyway, Bob also reveals another of his side’s secret plans with this comment:
One more thing, we will be on the Fox News Network tomorrow asking all Christians to crusade with us and knock the seculars’ back into corn-“flake” land where they came from.
Again, Merry Christmas to all
Wow, I wasn’t expecting some kind of Christmas crusade.
[Just then, to the flare of trumpets, in bursts in Cardinal Cratchit.  His empassioned speech goes a little something like this.]
NOBODY was expecting a Christmas Crusade!  Our chief weapon is stupidity…stupidity and bullying…Our two weapons are stupidity and bullying…and a ruthless sense of victimization.  Our three weapons are stupidity, bullying, and a ruthless sense of victimization…and an almost fanatical devotion to being on Fox News.   Our four…no… Amongst our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as stupidity, bullying…. I’ll come in again.
And so on.  But I imagine that Scott may have more to say to his new friend Bob (who is not to be confused with the new kitten Bob, whose only cause is liberating turkeys into cat gullets) — and if so, it will be both informative and full of seasonal cheer.
But speaking of Fox News, Bill O’Reilly is back from his Harvest Celebration vacation, and has already announced his victory over the forces of O.J. Simpson and retail stores, and his martyrdom at the hands of book reviewers and mental health professionals.
While on vacation last week, I cheered the Simpson victory from afar and the return of Christmas to most retail stores in America. Both are big wins for Americans, who believe this country stands for what’s right and promotes positive things like Christmas — a federal holiday that encourages good will toward all people.
Now I knew when I returned to work that the far left secular forces in America would not take kindly to those two victories and to the fact that my book “Culture Warrior” is a huge success. And I was correct. The print press clippings over Thanksgiving show stepped up attacks on me by fanatical SP columnists from coast to coast.
Many of these loons are still denying there is a Christmas controversy –even though one is before the Supreme Court right now.
“Controversy.”  “War.”  They are basically the same thing — and, per Bill, you are a loon or a liar if you think otherwise. 
Anyway, tune in tomorrow when we will be discussing little Ben Shapiro’s latest column on the Controversy on Terror (preview: it will remind you of Annie Jacobsen).  See you then!

19 Responses to “The Latest War On Christmas Casualty Report”

And when you get the power, you get the women.
Which power would get me the most female groupies? Clinging to walls and shooting sticky stuff out of my wrists? Or that healing factor that causes you to have broad shoulders and wear no shirt?
I mentioned this “War on Christmas” stuff at the family Thanksgiving dinner gathering (after the meal so that all were easily overtaken if they tried to escape) and, even from the more conservative folks, there was so much eye rolling that I thought I was seeing a massive simultaneous gran mal event. Maybe it was the stuffing.
Merry Christmas, Bob. Although it’s still November, so maybe a little early for the “Merry Christmassing”, unless you’re just trying to irritate us, which seems fruitless based on last year where we all wished each other Merry Christmas on, you know, Christmas, but also, I believe, other holidays as appropriate. For example, we wished each other Happy Groundhog Day back in February. You know, any excuse for a little good will.
Interestingly, though this site collects a variety of heathens and religious folk of all types, we seem to get along very well. That may have less to do with “cool-aid” drinking and more to do with not using cheerful greetings as bludgeons against each other. We’re funny that way. But, if you think your God wants you to go around turning salutations regarding his birthday into sarcastic verbal weapons, have at it.
Personally, I hope you have a Merry Christmas. And, as a pagan, I hope you have a pleasant Yule. For that matter, I hope all of December is pretty decent for you, because the alternative seems to be wishing you a happy 25th and a crummy 21st, an okay 24th and a depressing 16th-23rd, etc, which seems petty. I’m hoping to have a quite nice Christmas as well, undoubtedly in ways you’d be horrified by, but no matter, you already wished me a Merry Christmas and you can’t take it back just because you now realize you don’t approve of how I do it.
Incidentally, WalMart can say whatever it wants to whoever it wants, I don’t recall actually doing any hard work to make them stop. Perhaps that was the folks at Sadly, No!. It’d fit in with their philosophy. But please be aware that your holiday is so widely celebrated because those of us who are not Christians celebrate it too. Notably, we buy gifts and decorations and party goods. Quite a lot of it, in fact. I assume you support this or you’d make sure you were only wishing “Merry Christmas” to Christians.
The thing is, WalMart might do better sales among non-Christians if it recognizes their existence. Presumably WalMart puzzled that out at some point, which lead to their policy of, well, recognizing the existence of other people. Why give us, the seething non-Christian masses, the credit for a marketing decision by stores? It’s a little silly, really. I guess by the end of the year we’ll know if a larger target market is better than a smaller one. I would assume WalMart will make its decisions next year based on that, because, let’s face it, the company is perfectly willing to make its fulltime employees get foodstamps to supplement their wages; this is a company that pays attention to the bottom line above all else.
But personally, I tend to think that Christmas and the other holidays of winter should be celebrated in some way that brings joy to many people. A banner in the WalMart may not be the ideal way to go on that, but to each his own, I suppose.
So Merry Christmas, Bob. And happy holidays.
Since Wal-Mart and other retailers start promoting end-of-the-year indebtedness before Thanksgiving, I always thought they were only boosting their sales pitch by lumping together all the November-December holidays together. If they’re dropping Happy Holidays in favor of Merry Christmas, what will the New Years’ Eve celebrants have to say about this in a year of two? Bill better look into this War on New Years!
this site collects a variety of heathens and religious folk of all types
And let’s not forget the atheists among us who can’t wait to set up the Christmas Tree, and to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and Olive the Other Reindeer.
Generalissimo Marley,
Apologies for interrupting that endless Davey and Goliath tape loop in your head, sir, but I thought you should be made aware of the fact that while it’s possible to pull off such an illustrious campaign as yours against Wal*Mart, the reason is they don’t give a shit about anything except sales, and Wal*Mart is particularly vulnerable to the inbred mouth-breather demo that is Fox News stock in trade. (You’ll forgive the rough language, sir, but it is wartime.) Before attacking the education establishment, sir, you might want to consider that it will be fairly clear to the enemy that the Generalissimo and his troops have never had any use for its products, rendering a boycott useless.
Great blog! You’re right about O’Reilly. He is a lunatic who just makes stuff up as he goes along.
“Heathens” is here derived from “godless heathens”, used in this context ironically. I would absolutely never forget y’all, I have a housefull of atheists. My other categories are “pagans” and “one-godders” (Yes, that includes our Muslim and Jewish friends.)’
I still don’t have a category for Buddhists. Suggestions, anyone? And do you agnostics mind being lumped in with the heathens?
And Doghouse, it is time once again to note that I love you.
Psst, s.z., Bob sounds much like old Japanese saying “All your base belong to us”
I wonder if he knows about the “war on Jesus statuettes on SUV dashboards”? That’s still in the planning stages.
Pagans, as in “People Against Goodness And Normalcy” according to 1988′s movie Dragnet? Let’s skip the goat dance and move straight on to the virgin Connie Swayle.
Out of curiosity, S.Z. and Scott, have you guys considered declaring your blog the official front of the War on Christmas? You’ve got the acronym already, after all. Maybe some flashy “WoC” merchandise, a temporary banner, a flash Whack-A-Mole game with Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson….
Please, it’s “Kool-Aid”. With a “k”
On a related subject, it’s not “King Vitamin”, it’s “King Vitaman“. It has a second “a”.
I can’t tell you how often I see that one.
As for O’Reilly: Apparently Real Americans hate Native Americans and their heathen rituals.
Although I imagine most Native Americans practice Christmas, it’s kind of funny to me that a tradition brought in and enforced by immigrants is more “American” then traditions created by actual Americans.
I guess Bill eould agree that the Day of the Dead is more patriotic then Halloween, too.
These guys are a bunch of morons. If anybody wants to fight a REAL war on Christmas, that is, the economic propaganda festival that the Christmas Nazis are fully buying into, visit our site at http://www.stopxmas.com. Happy Holidays all!
Please, it’s “Kool-Aid”. With a “k”
True, but it wasn’t Kool-Aid mixed with cyanide that the good Rev. Jim Jones and his followers used to reach Heaven; it was grape “Flavor-Aid.”
Is that stuff around anymore?
[Quick Google search]
Why yes, yes it is.
But, um, sir, what if we *like* Christmas as an ecumenical consumerist holiday of goodwill and gift scarves and stripey candy and ponies? Frankly, there’s no way to turn back the clock and make you people stop stealing my holiday, so I figure the best solution is to strip it of all exclusionary meaning and put all celebrants back on an equal footing. And, really, consumerism is more or less the only way to do that. It’s what it’s halfway to already, and it’s what Americans, at least, do by default.
(Believe me, if Americans by default went to drunken pear-bobbing rather than shopping, I’d be pushing that to replace the sectarianism. But we really only have a couple of choices, and, knowing my fellow citizens, we probably actually only have the one. Hell, we’d turn April Fool’s Day into a consumerist orgy if someone could just work out the cards.)
So, if I want a deep spiritual experience around the birth of Christ, I should lookl for it at….Wal-mart?!
Yes, O’Reilly, let’s celebrate “a federal holiday that encourages good will toward all people” by calling other people “fanatical”, “loons” and “liars”. That’ll get ‘em back into the Xian fold!
The thing that I don’t get is, how bad are the schools in Lynnfield? For those of you who don’t know MA, Lynnfield is an affluent Republican town, these “boys” are pushing 50 and on top of being a little “off” they’re more than a little functionally illiterate. I know Republican town = no taxes, but a lot of athletes and so on live up there, you’d think they’d have better schools.
Otherwise, good on them for attacking the secularism of the malls. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that after my visit to Santa I was mugged in the parking lot by an entity that look suspiciously like a menorah wielding Grinch. And there wasn’t a single caroller to come to my aid. I’m just saying.
[...] Read more: here [...]