Factory Fresh Wingnuttery, Delivered to Your Blog

As a special holiday gift, one “Mouse-in-Da-House” left us a comment in response to a post of ten days ago.  In the tradition of Dr. Mike and Dr. Mary, I plan to use it as the body of a Town Hall column — but, since it’s New Year’s Day, I will share with you an excerpt from it.

I don’t really know how I’ve stumbled upon this absolutely preposterious web-site.  [...]
from what I gather here it’s seems that the lot of you are most likely the off-spring of lower class inbreeding.
Sex soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.  [...]
Where do babies come from? They are a recreation of two persons who love each other so much that they want to bring another one of them into this world.

So, once I throw in the requisite “sic”s, add some scathing remarks about how this idiocy (and mote-in-the-eye superiority about spelling) is representative of everyone on the right, and then figure out a way to portray myself as the victim of the great hippie conspiracy, I will be ready to get my Town Hall paycheck.

But for now, if you want to read Mouse in his or her entirety, check out the last couple of comments to ”If We All Clap Our Hands and Believe . . .

Posted by s.z. on Monday, January 1st, 2007 at 7:35 pm.

20 Responses to “Factory Fresh Wingnuttery, Delivered to Your Blog”

Um, who WOULD want to read Mouse in its entirety for more of that? It’s a wonder it can arrage words at all with a mind (sic) like that.

Left by mndean on January 1st, 2007

I don’t really know how I’ve stumbled upon this absolutely preposterious web-site.

Call me persnickety, but if I’m about to get a lecture, I’d prefer it be delivered by an assertive, self-confident orator with a wealth of expertise in the subject at hand. Not a random passerby who wanders vaguely onto the stage and stands there, shading his eyes and blinking, mole-like, at the audience.

Sex soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.

While the sentiment is clearly heartfelt, it’s equally apparent that it is not inspired by personal experience.

They are a recreation of two persons who love each other so much that they want to bring another one of them into this world.

Well, since Mr. Mouse is evidently talking about a clone, do the cell donors get to decide which one of them they’ll be recreating, or is the selection arbitrary, perhaps revealed through the use of some kind of futuristic Pop-o-Matic technology?

Also, do the same rules apply to babies who are a recreation of two horny teenagers who were so ignorant about sex as the result of abstinence-only programs that they accidentally brought someone even more ignorant than themselves into the world?

Left by scott on January 1st, 2007

I call parody troll. This Mouse person actually admitted making a spelling error. This is hardly normal wingnut behavior.


Usually, they don’t bring up inbreeding, either, as it hits too close to home.

Left by Candy on January 1st, 2007

Babies are created when sperm fertilizes an egg and the embryo is carried to term. It has absolutely nothing to do with love. (If you read the paper, you know this, because children constantly meet tragic ends at the hands of parents.)

That’s why the Reightwingen Kulturtroopers don’t like to discuss overpopulation, famine, and related topics; they can’t blame it on homosexuals.

Stop insulting mice, Mouse. They’re smarter than you and you’re giving them a bad name. Go with “Sea Cucumber,” or “Dirt.” No, wait, you’re dumber than dirt…

Left by Happenstance on January 1st, 2007

I’ll have you know that I am a product of the finest upper class inbreeding.

I wonder if jacking off soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.

Left by Mark S. on January 1st, 2007

Only if you save it in Mason jars in the root-cellar, Marq.

Or put it into pop bottles and dress it up as your “future chirrens.”

But I digress…

“Babies are created when sperm fertilizes an egg and the embryo is carried to term. It has absolutely nothing to do with love. (If you read the paper, you know this, because children constantly meet tragic ends at the hands of parents.)”
:::starts The Wave for Happenstance:::

AAAYYYYY-MENNNNNN, HAPPENSTANCE!!! PREACH ON, BABY, PREACH ON!!!!!!
I would like to agree with Candy (even though she shares the name with a certain Louisiana political floozy who ought to embarrass her terribly) about the “parody troll” — but y’know, the ability to parody oneself or even a group to whom one is fiercely opposed requires some amount of self-awareness, some sort of AWARENESS, period.

Nope, can’t call it on this one.

What we got here, ya see, is a failure to communicate…
In other words, this ‘un ain’t barely left Mama’s gaping flaccid labia long enough to even slither down to the basement yet. Somebody threw this one out as chum, to bait us ig’nant lib’ruls, and it ain’t even developed enough of a brain-stem yet to realize where the hook’s been placed.

Tsk.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on January 2nd, 2007

My name has nothing to do with Southern politics, Annti, or with any other politics. It’s the nickname of a musician I loved and respected dearly who died a few years back. It’s my little way of keeping him alive.

Left by Candy on January 2nd, 2007

Doesn’t scott’s comment on the first mouse scribbling actually go better with the second?

Left by mndean on January 2nd, 2007

If sex wasn’t designed for pleasure, then it wouldn’t be pleasureable. Obviously, Mouse is doing everything wrong. He/she/it/they really needs to hit up some us liberal, amoral, depraved types for some advice. I mean, there’s a reason that every time a Republican convention hits town, the sex industry hits the jackpot.

MRS. LOVEJOY: We’re not talking about love, Edna. We’re talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!

KRUSTY: Sex Cauldron! I thought they shut that place down!

Left by Johnny M on January 2nd, 2007

I don’t really know how I’ve stumbled upon this absolutely preposterious web-site.

I’ll have you know it’s a fully posterious website. Frankly, I’ve been a little worried about its becoming postposterious.

Left by FlipYrWhig on January 2nd, 2007

“Where do babies come from? They are a recreation of two persons who love each other so much that they want to bring another one of them into this world.”

Someone’s got shelves of Precious Moments figurines.

Left by pablo on January 2nd, 2007

Where DO babies come from?

I mean, damn, there’s the stork, and the lily that opens with a babe within its petals, and that disgusting story my PE teacher told me in sixth grade, and…

Wooh boy, this is all so confusing.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on January 2nd, 2007

Or to paraphrase the man, the Juice, O.J. Simpson:

“This is where babies come from. This is mine!!!”.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on January 2nd, 2007

And remember, if sex isn’t pathetic and deplorable, then you’re not doing it right.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 3rd, 2007

I wonder if jacking off soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.

Hands up anyone else who misread ‘soley’ as ‘Foley’ when they first skimmed through this thread.
Was it only me? I must be a sick puppy.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 3rd, 2007

No, Baker, it’s just a bad idea to ask for a show of hands when asking a question on that subject. Skews the results a bit.

Left by John Owens on January 3rd, 2007

I would say that jacking off Foley is definitely pathetic and deplorable. You may be a sick puppy HDB, but I think that’s better than pathetic and deplorable.

Left by BeginningToWonder on January 3rd, 2007

Oops, and speaking of misreading, that was for Bimler, not Baker. I so need to get a bigger screen.

Left by John Owens on January 3rd, 2007

[rolls eyes so far back they come around forward again]

Damn. I’ve gotten too good at that. I can see! That means I can go read this coprolite’s entire comments. Rats.

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

Oh, and Annti? That were a diff’rent “Mark” you was talkin’ to. Jes’ sayin’.

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

Meet the New Dr. Mike

Happy New Year!  I hope that 2007 brings much happiness to you and yours.  I can already promise you that if will provide no lack of wingnuts.

As evidence of my bold prediction, I thought that today we could meet a real up-and-comer, Town Hall columnist Mary Grabar.  Mary has a Ph.D. in English from the University of Georgia, is a temporary Assistant Professor at Clayton State University, and is an unpublished novelist and poet. She’s also interested in contra dancing, swing, and, of course, writing ”cultural commentary” for such fine third-tier online venues as “FrontPage News” and “Intellectual Conservative.”
 
Her moment in the wingnut sun came la couple of weeks ago when her Townhall column “The girls on The View“ was widely mocked by the SP blogosphere.  So, of course this week she followed up by quoting extensively from an email she purportedly received from a liberal meanie who criticized said column.  Mary also uses her piece to bash feminists, her academic colleagues, and Rosie O’Donnell, and to throw in a few gratuitous racist and homophobic comments.  So you can see why we think that she’s the woman that Dr. Mike has always wanted to be. Here’s Mary!

READER ADVISORY: this column quotes from a disturbed reader and contains some of the language typically employed by leftist intellectuals to express disagreement.
In my last column I suggested that one of the dangers of giving women the vote was that women would rely on themselves to make decisions. Among the dangers facing women are presidential candidates who suggest having “conversations” in response to the call for worldwide jihad. This woman, husband of former President Bill Clinton, went on a program geared towards progressive women, called “The View,” and hosted by what progressive women view as a male authority figure: Rosie O’Donnell.

Yes, one of the biggest dangers we women face is potential presidential candidates who suggest more dialogue and international cooperation to deal with the problem of terrorism.  And because this kind of thing might even sound appealing to us, Mary has certainly proven her previous thesis that we shouldn’t be allowed to vote, and that Rosie O’Donnell is a lesbian.

Anyway, we’ll skip the part where Mary subjects her alleged correspondent to a Mike Adams-esque third degree, and rejoin her where she plans for her new, glittering wingnut future.

But I had many nice comments and suggestions, too. Several commentators suggested a talk show called the “Right View,” with panelists like Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham, and yours truly. That’s quite an idea. I don’t believe that this country has had a Slovenian-born American talk show host. 
Which set me to thinking: who would I invite?

I have no idea.  But with a panel like that, who needs guests!

I would have some strong principled men on the program, like Congressmen Tom Tancredo, who has firmly stood against illegal immigration, and Virgil Goode, who has called for ending diversity visas that give preference to Muslim immigrants (a Clinton legacy). These two are the men who care about women enough that they don’t want to see us raped by Mexican gangs or forced to wear the hijab.

I don’t know how to respond to that except to say that I’m glad that Tom and Virgil are apparently the only two men who want to protect us women in this fashion.

I think I would also follow the format of women’s talk shows (like Oprah) and invite some victims.On one segment I would have women harmed by feminist men. I would have women like myself who have been shouted down by long-haired hippies who claim they bravely marched and “changed the world” and ended the Vietnam War, and tell me and President Bush’s daughters to go fight in Iraq.

Yeah, when will daytime TV start showing us the REAL victims: women who have been shouted at by hippies!

I would have college teachers like myself who have been victimized by female department heads who mandate that we place on our syllabi the objectives of “gaining a better understanding of race, class, and gender.” And for a public flogging I would put on the stage the male intellectual castrati who follow orders of such female bosses.

This would be must-see TV!  Imagine the drama when we meet an English instructor who was brutally victimized by her boss’s syllabi!  (If only they could also bring in Marie Jon’s’ tentacles, it would be the most intense talk show EVER!)  But I would suggest saving the flogging of the college castrati for a late-night special (or for sweeps week), because otherwise they might incur the wrath of Brent Bozell and his minions.

Men in days of old could smell the danger of a female take-over, whether at the pulpit, at the lectern, or the battlefield. I would have men who will knock away the cookies that are brought by the department head to meetings—the woman who uses an e-mail signature line from bell hooks, lives in a multi-million dollar high rise condo, and will not let you mention anything positive about Western civilization in the classroom. I will have men who will put those little pimp-tweeb rappers in their places and not let them talk about women the way they do. These men will take over English departments and fire any mush-brained Ph.D. who puts the lyrics of Tupac Shakur on her syllabus as a selection of “poetry” or asks for travel funds to present a paper on “fat studies.”

Right on!  And with the cry of ”NO MORE COOKIES, EVER!”, Mary’s no-women-or-rappers-in-English-departments revolution commences.  And it will be televised, if only in Mary’s erotic daydreams.

Posted by s.z. on Monday, January 1st, 2007 at 4:06 pm.

37 Responses to “Meet the New Dr. Mike”

so does she refer to herself as “Assistant Professor Dr Mary Grabar, PhD?”

Left by preznit giv me turkee on January 1st, 2007

The standards at the University of Georgia’s English Department must have really deteriorated if this nut could get a Ph.D. there. I notice, though, that she’s only a “temporary” assistant professor at Clayton State (where? Oh, a “senior” division of the University of Georgia at Atlanta — sounds like she couldn’t get a job outside the system that gave her the Ph.D.) which must mean that she hasn’t received tenure yet — and judging by the sort of friends on the faculty she obviously doesn’t have, I doubt she ever will.

Left by Basharov on January 1st, 2007

Dr. Mike’s gonna have to come out for the next round SMOKIN’ if he hopes to contend with Dr. Mary. Of course, he could just tell her to STFU ’cause she’s a woman.

Left by Spalpeen Hammer on January 1st, 2007

Hey, Tom, Virgil. Do you guys smell what I’m smelling? Damned if it isn’t one of them phat studies professors come to take over the department.

Left by J— on January 1st, 2007

You said “New Mike Adams”. I note that doesn’t mean “improved”.
I will say, though, that while Mike Adams always leaves me wanting to kick him in the balls, Mary is incapable of producing such a reaction. But that’s about the biggest difference.
Should it be considered progress when a woman proves she can be as big an asshole as a man?

Left by Bill S on January 1st, 2007

It continues to amaze me that hippie English professors are apparently the most powerful people on Earth, judging from the way these conservative folks go on about them.
I’ll bet the bit about the department head’s cookies is the key to unraveling this woman’s psyche. Did her boss invariably bring chocolate chip cookies WITH nuts when Mary G. repeatedly and specifically told her that she only likes them WITHOUT nuts? What oppression! And now poor Mary is forced to spend her days fantasizing about a group of manly white men who will throw the cookies on the ground because they will not accept free food from such brutal tyrants! And the cookies probably weren’t even any good anyway, so there!

Left by sophronia on January 1st, 2007

I would have college teachers like myself who have been victimized by female department heads who mandate that we place on our syllabi the objectives of “gaining a better understanding of race, class, and gender.” And for a public flogging I would put on the stage the male intellectual castrati who follow orders of such female bosses.
Wow, a blanket claim of victimization (and by a woman who appears to hate seeing *other* women attain power) for being told to do something that seems like quite a good idea, and she also slurs her male colleagues by calling them castrati just because they do what the boss wants? She manages to be victim and abuser in one paragraph. And she got a PhD at a reputable university? Shows what passes for intelligence in this country.

Left by mndean on January 1st, 2007

Goddamn quote brackets don’t work here. I quoted her paragraph above. Sorry, but they do work most places I go.

Left by mndean on January 1st, 2007

the REAL victims: women who have been shouted at by hippies!
Hey, my kid shouted at me (“You’re not the boss of me!”, followed by a slammed door), but he’s too young to have been a hippie. Does that mean I don’t get to be a real victim? Oh, the humanity!

Left by Tehanu on January 2nd, 2007

The hippies were probably shouting “Mary, stop knocking the cookies on the floor you asshole!”
I would love to see the Malkin, Ingrham and Mary version of the View but I am pretty sure it’d be cancelled during the first airing for lack of interest and would never clock in at a full hour.
Plus, the right already has the Chatty Cathys of Fox & Friends. Lordy, those hens like to squawk with white Christian glee.

Left by Marco on January 2nd, 2007

hi, this woman is weird-silly. i’ve read milton, st. paul and aristotle as well. except for st. paul, cannot recall any of the blatant misogyny she attributes to the others; perhaps other commenters can point in that direction … i would be curious.
mary really, really wants to preserve the identity of the father, and in a sad and desparate way … i think she’s a golddigger. but that’s just me.
happy new year,
cc

Left by CastroConvertible on January 2nd, 2007

I would have men who will knock away the cookies that are brought by the department head to meetings….I will have men who will put those little pimp-tweeb rappers in their places and not let them talk about women the way they do. These men will take over English departments
Hm….sounds like Dr. Mary is having an affair – or just an unrequited crush – with a visiting lecturer from Liberty University.
This sounds like the best satirical academic fiction since Richard Russo or James Hynes!
And what’s pimptweeb, anyway?

Left by g on January 2nd, 2007

Dang. Forgot to close the tag

Left by g on January 2nd, 2007

As always, it’s the conservative English PhD’s who suffer most. Poor things.
It’s been said before, but it’s worth repeating, “Shut up bitch and go bake a pie or something.”
I normally avoid such displays of misogyny, but honestly I couldn’t in my wildest dreams match this.

Left by histrogeek on January 2nd, 2007

“If you’re a feminist, that’s great. If you’re not a feminist, you should kill yourself.”
–Margaret Cho
I will never understand women who ASPIRE to reach the status of victimized, secondary human. I was raised by a liberal mother, a woman who gladly associated with hippies in Vietnam protests, who had a Ms. Magazine subscription throughout the 80s, and taught her children that the only limits to our hopes and dreams was ourselves. Not gender, not sexuality, not anything. The concept of a woman wishing herself into a submissive status simply because she is a woman — and then expecting every single other woman to do the same — is so entirely alien a concept to me that to even contemplate makes me insane. Just like Cthulhu.
That being said, it would be a hoot to see all these “right” women on a talk show together. Although they better have a man directing and producing it, for as we all know, women are incapable of doing anything themselves outside of the kitchen and the bedroom. Are you sure Mary’s not writing from Stepford?

Left by Johnny M on January 2nd, 2007

I will have men who will put those little pimp-tweeb rappers in their places and not let them talk about women the way they do.
I mean, really. How dare they speak disparagingly of women!
In my last column I suggested that one of the dangers of giving women the vote was that women would rely on themselves to make decisions
Pimp-tweeb, heal thyself.

Left by FlipYrWhig on January 2nd, 2007

Mary Grabar on RateMyProfessors.com.

Left by FlipYrWhig on January 2nd, 2007

Johnny M: With female anti-feminists, there’s generally two different kinds: upper class and lower class. The upper class ones like Ann Coulter, Wendy Shalit, and Phillys Schefley (sp) don’t have to worry about earning a living because they got money to keep them in comfort and could probably snag some rich husband who will eventually wise-up to her sexual manipulations (that Shalit and Schifley like to advice using) and start fucking the maid who won’t demand expensive presents in exchange for physical love. Feminism enpowers the lower-class woman (as well as the upper) and that’s what scares the pampered anti-feminists because it might mean the men in their lives will start demanding that their women do more than act like pampered little shrews. Not to mention that elitits hate the idea of the little man having any kind of happiness\power and same goes for the female elitists.
Now lower-class anti-feminists are a different story. These women actually have to work for a living and are stuck being the beasts of burden that feminism helps prevent them from being. Most of these women are so beaten down and dillusional that they don’t know any better than the misery their lives are. And some of those that realize it, believe that their suffering makes them better women than those sinful liberated ones or that they actually have power which they truely never had.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on January 2nd, 2007

I would have men who will knock away the cookies
That would be an interesting program, though more of an anti-cooking show than a talk show.
One week — knocking away the cookies.
Next week — throwing the pavlova to the floor.
Third week — flinging the canapes into the audience, with an expression of disgust.
You don’t see that on Oprah!

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 2nd, 2007

Mary Grabar on RateMyProfessors.com.
Left by FlipYrWhig on January 2nd, 2007

The fact that she seems to have put her OWN picture on that site (click thru some other profiles, notice a derth of something?) suggests she’s on a mission to break into the right wing’s Harpy Corps, along with Coulter, Malkin, Schafley, KatO’Beirne, etc. – afterall, no pub is bad pub! However, she might find hitting the bigs quite the task, since the minors are already crowded with the likes of lil’ Debbie snackcakes Schlussel, Marie Jonapostrophe, that “Those Arab looking musicians carried a McDonalds bag into the airplane bathroom” lady, etc.
See? We needed a Battle of the Wingnuts last year to thin the herd a little, so little saplings like Mary Grabnar could grow up to be as batshit insane as she could be, free from too crowded a media habitat. I look for great things (well, I guess opposite of great… maybe, “teh suck”?) from Grabnar’s hammer in the future!

Left by Ugluks Flea on January 2nd, 2007

On one segment I would have women harmed by feminist men.
I would love to hear some examples of the specific harm that “feminist” men do that “non-feminist” men do not.
I would have college teachers like myself who have been victimized by female department heads who mandate that we place on our syllabi the objectives of “gaining a better understanding of race, class, and gender.”
So is it OK for male department heads to issue that mandate? And what if that mandate came from higher up than the department head? Like the academic dean or university president? Or even (gasp!) the state board of education or the regional accreditation body?
And for a public flogging I would put on the stage the male intellectual castrati who follow orders of such female bosses.
Don’t be sexist, Mary! Female teachers who follow that order should be flogged, too! (See, the females were “victimized” by the order, but the males were Vichy surrender-monkey collaborators, apparently.)

Left by Dorothy on January 2nd, 2007

Ugluks, to be fair, I don’t think she had to be the one doing the uploading. Since the pages on RMP are monitored by students at the colleges, one of them could have found a headshot for her and plugged it in. But your thought did occur to me too.

Left by FlipYrWhig on January 2nd, 2007

On behalf of the University System of Georgia, I’d like to apologize most profoundly. Sometimes, folks slip through the cracks. Hey, even George W. Bush got a college degree.

Left by ACG on January 2nd, 2007

Men in days of old could smell the danger of a female
Was that the original title to the Cramps album and they trimmed it down?
As a UGA alumni, I weep.

Left by Spirula on January 2nd, 2007

the woman who uses an e-mail signature line from bell hooks, lives in a multi-million dollar high rise condo,
Yep, if there’s one thing that’s a huge problem in academia, it’s all those English professors who live in multi-million dollar condos!

Left by Constantine on January 3rd, 2007

From ratemyprofessor:
“This is the worst class I have ever taken at CSU. This teacher is both boring and confusing and for a student, that’s a deadly combo. The material is pretty interesting but somehow she makes it boring.”
I guess I’d rather study pimp-tweebs

Left by g on January 3rd, 2007

Ugluks: How about we go the Battle Royale route? Give them all metal collars, put them on an island with a random weapon (from a fork to an uzi), and have them fight to the death. Now throw random danger zones which cause the collar to explode if you stand on them and three days to be the last one standing. All kidding aside, I’d never wish this on anyone in the real world, even wingnuts.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on January 3rd, 2007

I don’t believe that this country has had a Slovenian-born American talk show host.
If her first language is Slovenian, we should cut the lady some slack. Judging from the declamatory style, she seems to have learned English by reading Walt Whitman, but she’s still doing better than certain other apostrophe-abusers whose first language is simple gibberish.
male intellectual castrati
Despite that, I still want to hear more about the female castrati.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 3rd, 2007

male intellectual castrati
Despite that, I still want to hear more about the female castrati.
Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 3rd, 2007

—–
Herr Doktor: ich liebe dich!

Left by Tehanu on January 3rd, 2007

Ugluks: How about we go the Battle Royale route?
(video presenter pulls out axe)
Oooh…this one is SUPER LUCKY!

Left by Johnny M on January 3rd, 2007

Herr Doktor Bimler: Wait, Walt Whitman was gay, she couldn’t have learnt from him.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on January 3rd, 2007

By grabars hammer.
aimai

Left by aimai on January 3rd, 2007

[...]and is an unpublished novelist and poet.

Ruh roh!

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

So, if her little make-believe talk show came to be (somehow!), am I correct in sussing out that she, herself, would be the only guest… ever!?! Huh. Of course, the University would have no choice but to fire her ass. Why?
‘Cause she’s a woman.
And, after a period of plummeting ratings, MSNBC some TV channel would have to fire her ass off “The Wingnut PU” (or, whatever she called it). Why? Well, not because of the stinky ratings–no, because they’ll figure out that she’s a woman. They’ll fire Malkin and Ingrahm, too, but Ann Coulter can stay, if they hire “her.” Ann’s probably a little too “high rent,” if you know what I mean, and I’ll bet you do! In fact, no place will hire her.
Why?
Because she’s a freaking woman, that’s why!!
So, once she’s stuck at home, being a baby factory, I’m sure she’ll finally be happy.
P.S.–Mary, babe? Nobody’s twisting your arm to vote. So, don’t. You’ll be happier, and more importantly, I’ll be happier. Thanx!
.
.
P.P.S.–Oh, Mary? Please make sure to never wear a hijab. ‘Cause, if, by some awful turn of events, you were gang-raped by a group of swarthy Mexican men, it would only truly become a tragedy if you were wearing a hijab at the time.

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

I would love to see the Malkin, Ingrham and Mary version of the View but I am pretty sure it’d be cancelled during the first airing for lack of interest and would never clock in at a full hour.

Yeah, but just think–the “Complete Series” DVD would probably come in at under five bucks!

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

The danger to conservatives (and the survival of this country) is the voting bloc of single women, i.e., those who lack the guidance of a man in the form of a husband or intellectual mentor.
People like Condoleeza Rice?

Left by The Kenosha Kid on January 6th, 2007

And what male gave this lump permission to leave the haus?

Left by TF-MA on January 10th, 2007

Thinking Pains

WorldNetDaily brings us word of the perfect Christmas present for next year for Ann Coulter and others of her ilk. (I mean people who deny all evidence of evolution — what kind of ilk were YOU thinking of?)

Anyway, it’s a board game disproving evolution, and it was co-designed by Kirk Cameron, the mostly forgotten actor who played “Mike” on “Growing Pains” — so you know it has to be good!

Here are the details:

“We are very excited about this game because it presents both sides of the creation evolution argument, and in doing so, shows that the contemporary theory of evolution is perhaps the greatest hoax of modern times,” said Cameron, who starred in the award-winning “Growing Pains” television series from 1985-1992.

Per Kirk’s website store, the game is ”unique in that the playing pieces are small rubber brains and each team plays for ‘brain’ cards. Each player uses his or her brains to get more brains, and the team with the most brains wins.” So, it’s basically “Night of the Living Creationism,” except that while you may be competing with other lifeless, souless creatures, you probably don’t get to eat the brains that you collect.

Here’s more about the game sure to topple Monopoly from it’s money-grubbing throne from Ray Comfort, its other “intelligent” designer.

“The average person doesn’t know that the evolutionist lives by a blind faith in an unscientific theory (a theory that one scientist called a ‘fairy-tale for grown-ups’). Through the game we show the irrational nature of evolution, using their own beliefs and quotes. This explains why evolutionists have a special language, something we call ‘the language of speculation,’ where they use words like ‘We believe, perhaps, probably, maybe, could have …’ They can’t speak of their theory without it,” said Comfort.

Yeah, if they were really scientific, they’d use much more positive language when discussing their theories!

“To believe in evolutionary ‘transitional forms’ is to hold to the belief that one species evolved into another. However, there is no scientific evidence of any species evolving into another – not in creation, nor in the ‘fossil record.’ Most people don’t know that.”If, in fact, evolution were the truth, there would have to be evidences of some sort of those transitions, such as a sheepdog, pupling, or bullfrog, the game’s promoters said.

Before you point out the existence of some fairly well-known animals to Kirk and Roy, I should probably note that, to then, a “sheepdog” is half dog, half sheep; a “bullfrog” is frog with a cow’s head, and a “pupling” is a golden sporting dog that retrives itself.   But yeah, the fact that we don’t see cows morphing into frogs these days is clear proof that evolution is bunk!

And now for the most compelling evidence yet against evolution:

The logic of and support for evolution also was questioned in a stunt the two did for their television show, when they let “evolutionists hang themselves with their own words.”“We called eight airlines (on camera) and asked if they would let us bring a ‘relative’ on the plane. We said that he needed a wheelchair because he had problems with his feet, and after getting approval we told them the ‘relative’ was an orangutan,” Comfort said.

Yes, if airlines won’t let you take an orangutan in the cabin of a passenger flight, then clearly evolution is a big fraud!  Case closed!  But what other harebrained stunts will Mike Seaver and his goofy sidekick “Boner” try in the next ep of “Way of the Master”?  I can hardly wait to find out!

Posted by s.z. on Sunday, December 31st, 2006 at 2:03 am.

34 Responses to “Thinking Pains”

:::groooooaaaaaaannnnn:::
And no, that’s NOT a “good” groan.
Jeebus H. on a fucking cracker with a side of horseradish.
They are so fucking lame, they don’t even fucking understand the CONCEPT of actually DISPROVING ANY-FUCKING-THING!!!!!!!!
I bet that if you asked either one of them, these GENIUSES amongst the sheeple who ACTUALLY ***LISTEN*** to them — they couldn’t tell a hypothesis from a hole in the ground. Or, better yet, they couldn’t tell oozing brain fluid from the holes in their heads… IF, that is, there was anything TO ooze…
Excuse me, darlings, I have to go bang my head against a brick wall in order to try and distract myself from the imminent implosion from cognitive dissonance overload.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 31st, 2006

One concept in evolution that morons like Kirk Cameron seem not to grasp very well is that it isn’t a “conversion” process. In other words, they seem to think that when one species becomes another species, all of the original species becomes the new one, leaving no stragglers behind. In truth, often quite a bit of the original species is “left behind” for quite some time. The new species, which is often nearly indistinguishable from the original one, goes from being a small minority of the original to a majority over what seems to us to be a long period of time, but geologically is but a brief moment. This is why islands provide such good examples of evolution – when the population of a species is as small as it must be to survive island living, change can be more rapid than in can be on a large continent, a new species can replace an original one in not too many generations. Often, when reading creationists’ understandings of how this process works, I am left with the impression that they think that evolutionists think that this process occurs not over a number of generations, but within living, individual animals. If that was what evolutionists actually believed, they might have something of a point. As it is, they’re pointless/

Left by Marq on December 31st, 2006

they seem to think that when one species becomes another species, all of the original species becomes the new one, leaving no stragglers behind
Kind of a rapture theory of speciation, then.

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 31st, 2006

First to note that the only folks these days ever seen “collecting brains” would be…well, zombies. How appropriate. Braaiiiins.
I share in Annti’s groan.
What IS it with Hollywood “has-beens” who never “were?” Willie Aames as Bibleman (oy gevalt), Ron Silver, Patricia Heaton, and now…this.

Left by Happenstance on December 31st, 2006

Marq crystallized their total misunderstanding of the theory. They think these tiny, fractional changes happen overnight when they actually take thousands of years, maybe more.
And the whole “it’s just a theory, isn’t it?” crap must be shout down at every available opportunity. Pick up a dictionary, you morons and look at the scientific application of the word. And then thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for gravity.
Linguini, anyone?

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

And Mark Seaver was a tool. No surprise the actor is, too.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

I’m totally dissapointed! Where’s the creativity? Where’s the passion? These arguments are so stale you could build an outhouse with ‘em! They’ve been blown out of the water so many times they’re on permanent hover! Call me back when you’ve got something new to say, will ya? “I’m getting bored drivin’ up and down the same old strip…”

Left by JoeBuddha on December 31st, 2006

Crap
Fact.
Throwback proving that man is the descendant of an unintelligent ancestry.

Left by coriolis on December 31st, 2006

I think it’s nice that little Mike Seaver is still able to find work….

Left by punkinsmom on December 31st, 2006

Didn’t Kirk the Jerk have an actress fired from the show for posing in “Playboy”?
Then they cast another actress he ended up dating and eventually marrying.

Left by Bill S on December 31st, 2006

I think the only thing that surprises me is that the airlines didn’t buy the Orangutan-Is-My-Relative story. I mean, I’m convinced.

Left by BeginningToWonder on December 31st, 2006

Ann Coulter and others of her ilk
is that where the term “no use crying over spoiled ilk” came from?

Left by preznit giv me turkee on December 31st, 2006

her ilk irks.

Left by Bill S on December 31st, 2006

No bannana bonuses? I’m disappointed.
There was an anti-evolution letter in yesterday’s paper, and it was similarly well-argued. The author actually used the “if we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys” argument and signed her name to it and everything.
I like to think I’m a easy-going, laid-back, so I feel bad thinking things about these people like I do. It’s nothing bad, mind, it’s just frustrating as hell to see people so proud of being so willfully ignorant. It makes me wanna shake ‘em and holler “Look, you are too stupid to be having this convorsation, and by this point, you’re never gonna even try to learn. Go away” and that’s just not a nice thing to do at all.

Left by Matt T. on December 31st, 2006

Excuse me…that last paragraph should start “I like to think I’m an easy-going, laid-back guy (or cat or dude or what have you)”…
Because, I’m not only an easy-going, laid-back guy, I’m also one who’d just smoked his afternoon herbal supplement, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Left by Matt T. on December 31st, 2006

Well, all signs, including this one, point to 2007 being as chock full of wingnut ignorance as 2006, so I believe S.Z. and Scott will have no lack of employment in the stupidity mines. Now if you could just find a way to get paid for all this righteous labor. Happy New Year, everyone!

Left by Dr. BDH on December 31st, 2006

“We called eight airlines (on camera) and asked if they would let us bring a ‘relative’ on the plane. We said that he needed a wheelchair because he had problems with his feet, and after getting approval we told them the ‘relative’ was an orangutan,” Comfort said.
I thought inbreeding was outlawed?

Left by actor212 on December 31st, 2006

Now if you could just find a way to get paid for all this righteous labor…
Left by Dr. BDH on December 31st, 2006

check out the paypal button in the top left corner

Left by preznit giv me turkee on December 31st, 2006

Sync!

Left by mark h on December 31st, 2006

I remember once thinking that I would like to fuck Kirk Cameron. Now, I would like to blow his head off first.

Left by Veritas78 on December 31st, 2006

Blow his head off before fucking him? um, necrophilia fantasies don’t do it for me.
I’d fuck him, if I thought it would have some positive influence on him*. Something tells me it’d just turn him into some self-loathing freak like Haggard. I don’t want to create one of those.
*which, if he was remotely sane, WOULD be the case. I hope.

Left by Bill S on January 1st, 2007

This explains why evolutionists have a special language, something we call ‘the language of speculation,’ where they use words like ‘We believe, perhaps, probably, maybe, could have …’ They can’t speak of their theory without it,” said Comfort.
Wow, that’s some good argumenting. That and Kirk calling airlines about his orangutan seems a fitting way to end this year o’ crap. Happy New Year, everyone!

Left by Mark S. on January 1st, 2007

Why, if evolution were true, you’d expect there to be some kind of “lizard-bird” in the fossil record somewhere!

Left by Christopher on January 1st, 2007

There is, Christopher. It’s called mAnn Coulter.
Happpppy New Year!
(And yes, the craven vampiric transsexual/omnisexual harpie yet lives, so yup, this year is prolly gonna suck, too, Nancy Pelosi notwithstanding.)
I just wish that one of you technical geniuses would pony-up with Cyborg Biggus Dickus’ “undisclosed location” on a really detailed map… THAT would be the PERFECT way to start the new year!

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on January 1st, 2007

‘The one with the most brains over the period of the game wins’? How Evolutionary!

Left by Scott1960 on January 1st, 2007

Remember the fish-with-legs fossil found last year in Canada? I want a bumper sticker of that for my car.

Left by Kathy on January 1st, 2007

How on earth did we get to the point that we’re not only proud of being ignorant, but also that the ignorant have something to teach us? It seems to be predominantly, or even uniquely American, considering the number of other countries laughing at us.
Oh, and BTW: Happy, crappy new year!

Left by mndean on January 1st, 2007

Mndean: “Let’s not be too tough on our own ignorance. It’s the thing that makes America great. If America weren’t incomparably ignorant, how could we have tolerated the last eight years?-Frank Zappa
All kidding aside, I know how you feel. It’s a damn sad thing.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on January 1st, 2007

Well, I don’t know about you, but to me prank phone calls and practical jokes that don’t even rise to the level of “We’ve switched his regular coffee with Folger’s Crystals” seem like a really great replacement for scientific thinking. With those kind of standards, I can go back to school and get straight A’s, no problem.

Left by sophronia on January 1st, 2007

Kathy – check out
http://www.trollart.com/
I didn’t look for bumper stickers, but he has posters, tee shirts, etc. Thanks, Pharyngula, for linking to him.

Left by Buffalo Gal on January 1st, 2007

Boyz–those of you debating lil’ Kirky’s fuckability–you’re welcome to him. I wouldn’t poke him with Ann Coulter’s dick. Or a ten-foot pole. Ick. Dad? Where’s that bottle of brain bleach?

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

scrub, scrub, scrub…
AIEEEE!!!! IT BUUUURRRRNNNNSSS!!1!
…scrub, scrub, scrub….

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

It’s not so much that I find him hot, Marq-he’s only moderately cute, compared to, say,the Italian guy on “Square Pegs”, or any of the “Lost Boys” not named Corey.
I’m just saying that IF fucking him would make him a better person, I’d be willing to do it.

Left by Bill S on January 4th, 2007

Leave us Eastern Europeans out of this.

Left by Ten-foot Pole. on January 4th, 2007

The Apostrophe Strikes Back!

Marq is THE MAN! Not only did everyone here love his instant holiday classic, A Marie Jon’ Christmas, but even Marie Jon’ showed up to honor it.

At least, I think that’s what she meant to do when she left the following comments:

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/jon/061229
SP’s so trip.
MJ
—————–
“tripe ”
SP’s are tripe.
something poor, worthless, or offensive

Okay, although this seems meaningless at first glance, I think we can translate it if we all work together.  First, by reading the linked commentary (Marie’s latest), we are able to deduce that SPs are “Bill O’Reilly patented, Marie approved Secular Progressives.” And apparently we are to replace “trip” with “tripe” in the first koan.  But since “tripe” is a noun, and “secular progressives” are plural, the phrase “SP’s so tripe” still makes no sense!  And this is how we know that the real Marie left these comments.

Anyway, since she wanted us all to read her latest piece (a guest column at the ironically-titled “The Reality Check”), we probably should. It’s about how society is going to hell in a hand-basket thanks to us anti-culture warriors.  But in case you are pressed for time, here’s a comprehensive summary of Marie’s fine work.

===========================
“ARE YOU A LATENT CULTURE WARRIOR?”

Intro:  If you don’t pay attention to me (and to Bill O’Reilly), you’ll be sorry when it’s too late, and the progressives have molested your grandchildren!  Beware this mindset’s insidious tentacles!

The progressive movement touches every part of this country values and mores. It’s a mind set that has it’s insidious tentacles constantly reaching out to all venues of Americana.  Our culture, our beliefs systems, and our patriotic pride is being assaulted on every level.

Take a minute to contemplate the injustice of a world where Bill only wishes he could write like that, and yet he has the best-selling books, while Marie opines for free.

But let’s move on, for it seems that ”Social Progressives” (Marie apparently forgot what the code stands for) are “drastically hurting” our children, in that liberal judges let child rapists get off scot-free all the time. (Marie presumably learned that from Bill.) Also, per WorldNetDaily, the ACLU defended NAMBLA in a wrongful death case where two men read NAMBLA materials and then molested and killed a boy. And this an outrage, for not only is NABLA guilty of murder and rape due to the fact that criminals possessed their material, but the ACLU is complicit in the murder, because they defended NAMBLA’s right to free speech.  Oh, and all liberals are also guilty of aiding and abetting the perverts who killed the boy, just because!

The fact that liberals in our country help these criminals escape just punishment is disgusting. All parents need to be aware of that fact.

So, we must wake up and do stuff! Light will be shone! Names will be taken! Values will be valued!

The ACLU is an organization that undermines our country’s values. Social progressive in the media have empathy for every radical far leftists. Why?
[…]
Please, take a look at MTV or Girls Gone Wild. They, of all people, have the nerve to say that President Bush has sullied our image around the globe.

I hate to interrupt Marie when she’s on a tear, but I don’t think that “Girls Gone Wild” have said anything about President Bush and his sullying – could Marie actually be referring to Jenna and NotJenna here?

And I have to admit that I am kind of surprised that Marie would beg us to take a look at tapes of drunk, gullible, coeds flashing their breasts at the camera — but then, she did invite us to read her column, so maybe if we watch said tapes, we’ll find out that Marie contributed to then too.
But back to Marie:

Our public schools are bastions of liberalism. These institutions willfully rewrite our country’s history to their liking. They surely are not contributing to turning out good citizens. Can your child recite the Pledge of Allegiance?
However, they teach Heather has Two Mommies… and three daddies.

While my imaginary child may or may not be able to recite the Pledge, I do have to point out that since the Heather thing is actually an “Enter Stage Right” column, I don’t believe that the liberal public schools are teaching it — but if they did, then you could ask, as Marie does, “Where is the quality education promised to each child?”

And now, for the stirring Reality-Checked conclusion, which finally mentions Mr. O’Reilly (but says nothing about tripe):

To be a successful warrior you must act now or America will, one day, wake up to find itself awash in Islamic jihadists, while suffering from the Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome foist upon us by what Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly calls “the SPs” (Secular Progressives).

Yes, if America one day wakes up to find itself awash in jihadists, while at the same time also being destroyed by SP-foisted fire and brimstone (or turned into a big pillar of salt or something), then it will be because we didn’t read Bill’s book.

However, unpleasant as it might be to be bathing in jihadists and sulfur, it just might be better than suffering through 200-odd pages of Bill’s bluster and whining.  So, sorry Marie, but I’m going to have to take what’s behind the box.

Posted by s.z. on Saturday, December 30th, 2006 at 3:17 am.

36 Responses to “The Apostrophe Strikes Back!”

and I was so looking forward to being called a cow’s stomach
wonder if she really meant “trite?”

Left by preznit giv me turkee on December 30th, 2006

Marq is THE MAN!

You wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.

Can your child recite the Pledge of Allegiance?

I… have a CHILD‽‽‽
[breathes into brown paper bag to subdue panic]
Why don’t people tell me these things‽

Left by Marq on December 30th, 2006

Bargin’ in off-topic agin’: remember when we were lectured by The Christmas Arses about the War On Christmas?
I wonder if they’re half as upset about this:
(edited quote from CrooksAndLiars.com)
Park Service Can’t Say How Old Grand Canyon Is To Not Offend Creationists
Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. “In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology,” stated PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch.
(end quote)
…Whooooooooo-eeeeeee. Where the hell’s my passport?

Left by Happenstance on December 30th, 2006

[...] UPDATE THE THIRD: Roy Edroso is in Rob Dreher’s base killing his d00dz. Plus, S.Z. is Marie Jon’’s new BFF. Lucky. Her. [...]

Left by Sadly, No! » Saddam Dead on December 30th, 2006

“To be a successful warrior you must act now or America will, one day, wake up to find itself awash in Islamic jihadists, while suffering from the Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome foist upon us by what Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly calls “the SPs.”
With just a little bit of editing, that sounds like a really weird infommercial:
“To be a successful warrior you must act now or you will, one day, wake up to find itself awash in Islamic jihadists, while suffering from the Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome foist upon us by what Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly calls “the SPs”. So call now and order Jihadist Begone with it’s double-action foaming cleanser for getting rid of those really hard to reach Secular Progressives that can lead to unsightly Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome.
I can just see Ron Popeil, Bill O’Reilly and Marie Jon’

Left by tomg on December 30th, 2006

OK, my crush on Marie is officially over.
WTF? “Awash in Islamic Jihadists?”
Why do they piss their pants so damn often? Can anyone close their eyes and envision us awash in Islamic Jihadists?
Bob from Nebraska, Vinnie from Manhattan and Sherri from LA would kick some serious ass before the “Jihadists” got off the plane.
When will we fight smart, not hard? When will this country remember we have stone cojones and diplomacy (with a gun drawn but not shooting) has worked more times than not? Can I ask any more hypotheticals?
“Jihadist Begone”. Does it come with an “O’Reilly Eraser” attachment?

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 30th, 2006

This is my favorite bit from Måřįē Ĵǿń:
Jesus stated in John 15:19 that the world loves its own. “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own.” Who would of [sic] thought that an obnoxious hate filled Howard Dean would wind up heading the Democrat Party?
Who would have thought that Jesus had anything to say about Howard Dean?

Left by Clif on December 30th, 2006

“Jihadist Begone”. Does it come with an “O’Reilly Eraser” attachment?
Absolutely, but only if you call in the next 10 minutes.

Left by tomg on December 30th, 2006

Gary Ruppert said the jihadists are going to invade Massachusetts and Rhode Island by way of Mexico.
You gotta admit, it’s a fool-proof plan! There’s no way to defend against THAT!
Yup, we’re doomed, just like Renew America and WND say. If several thousand poorly organized, shoddily equipped rabble with nebulous ties to terror organizations show up on one of our borders, there will be no choice but to surrender America.

Left by TC on December 30th, 2006

Tripe isn’t cow’s stomach. It’s brain.
Yup, Marie Jon Apostrophe just tried to insult us by calling us brains.

Left by Tara the anti-social social worker on December 30th, 2006

The ACLU defends everyone’s free speech, even the free speech of people who hate them. They defended Rush, for goodness sake, and they’ll defend your poorly written stuff if someone sues you for making them poke out their eyeballs after reading it!

Left by Hysterical Woman on December 30th, 2006

Actually, tripe *is* cow stomach.

Left by nolo on December 30th, 2006

“It’s a mind set that has it’s insidious tentacles constantly reaching out to all venues of Americana.”
Damn, that’s writin’. This woman’s brain is like one of those Visible Man acrylic models you can SEE INTO. You can watch the gears turn and see the words pop out and everything:
“…mind set,” that’s intelligent, it means more than just “ideas”…. (Does “it’s” have an apostrophe? Of course it does. Doesn’t everything?) “insidious” YES! great word! “tentacles” PERFECT, because tentacles ARE insidious– especially if they come from a mind set… “venues”– SOLID GOLD. Because “places” is so ho-hum, but EVERYBODY RESPECTS THE USE OF THE WORD “VENUES”…
But hm. “America”? No, something a bit more classier, with more importantness to it. “AmeriCANA”!! Got it!
(Reads over draft.) “PERFECT.”
Take THAT, Gore Vidal!

Left by MrWonderful on December 30th, 2006

Does “it’s” have an apostrophe? Of course it does. Doesn’t everything?)
I have to admit that the its/it’s thing is a pet peeve of mine. But knowing how fond Mar’ie is of ‘apostrophe’s’ I figured she just needed to get one in there somewhere.
And I had no idea the islamic jihadists were fans of promoting “Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome.” Go figure.

Left by punkinsmom on December 30th, 2006

It’s a mind set that has it’s insidious tentacles constantly reaching out to all venues of Americana.
I never thought of Marie Jon’ as a fan of hentai tentacle porn, but it’s all clear now. She has evidently acquainted with every film in the Overfiend series.
The apostrophes come before the catastrophe. That’s the one thing I learned from Sophoclean drama.
OK, I’m off now to look up “Sodom and Gomorrah Syndrome” in my medical textbooks.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 30th, 2006

Would it be wrong to imagine Marie Jon’ss” tentacles reaching out to my most secular of venues, touching every bit of my americana, reaching and touching and….
Hokay, I’m good for a couple hours here. What was the question?
mikey

Left by mikey on December 30th, 2006

Of course, it all makes sense now. We all know what fans of teh buttseks and the ghodlessness the islamic jihadists are, that we would be awash in the one while syndroming in the other is obvious. I assume the jihadists will also be offering their famous pork chop reciepes as well. It’s just not a good islamic jihadist ACLU ghey dolphin wedding without apple brandy glazed stuffed pork chops.

Left by Cornfed on December 30th, 2006

“…tentacles…”
Did Marie misspell “testicles” again?

Left by Uncle Mike on December 30th, 2006

Those tentacles are a recurring theme in her political milieu. Stretching, touching every bit, stroking, hmmmmm. It’s just like the Trail of Cthulhu!
Thanks to TBogg, here’s Judge Robert H. Dierker Jr, dismissing a sexual-harassment case and taking the opportunity to subtract from the sum of human knowledge:
“Spawned in the protean atmosphere of federal employment discrimination litigation … the theories of the ‘sexual harassment’ police have stretched their tentacles from college facilities to Supreme Court confirmation hearings to legal and judicial ethics … and now seek to ensnare the common law of torts.”
I can’t be bothered searching Google to see where else the tentacle trope has stretched its tentacles.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 31st, 2006

Okay:
1) Tripe is the first stomach of ruminants or the intestines of certain non-ruminants (pigs, sheep).
2) “Something poor, worthless, or offensive”. No. “Worthless, rubbish, nonsense” sayeth the OED, which adds that the use is colloquial and dates it to the late 17th century.
2a) Personally we advise the use of colloquialisms in print only by those with a rough grasp of proper English.
3) How tripe came to acquire this (limited) negative connotation is a mystery to me, as I imagine it is to anyone who’s ever been served even a passable tripes à la mode de Caen, and should be to anyone who’s ever had a decent sausage.
4) Ms Jøn¥’s'es inclusion of “poor” and “offensive” (I am assuming, charitably, that she does not own a dictionary) does suggest a sort of backwoods snootyness of the early North American (non-French) colonial era, since offal, aka freshlets, spoil in short order and must be consumed shortly after butchering, and so possibly might have been seen as ballast for rustics by some Ur-pretentious and semi-literate shopkeeper who midwifed Ms Jöñ#’es unfortunate lexicon.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 31st, 2006

Doghouse, darling, I generally defer to your wide and impressive bank of knowledge on many issues, but when it comes to STOMACH, son, you are just grosser than wrong. I’ve smelled CHITLINS that weren’t that disgusting. I’ve lived with Chinese friends who served tripe stir-fried with tomatoes.
And yes, I have had the scent of menudo-ish concoctions waft across my face in certain neighborhoods in the 8th Ward down by the old Solano Botanica.
IT AIN’T RIGHT, SON.
There’s reasons why “black boudin” is ILLEGAL nowadays, y’know. Aside, of course, from the obvious trichinosis et al…
And yes, I’ve seen how sausage is made, and no, nobody that I’ve ever seen make sausage used the GUTS. Andouille, boudin, salt pork, tasso — pick a “venue” of bizarre meat products and/or by-products. And no, I don’t eat potted meat. Soon as I learned how to read the ingredients label, that was OVER.
Now, as to the anorexic twinkie, finger-down-the-throat-queen of abysmal abortions of all things linguistic… Reading her… OFFAL… makes blood/black boudin (and the processes involved) look APPETIZING.
Why can’t we make people pass a minimal literacy test before they’re granted jobs as (cough!-GAG!-cough!) “writers”?!??!?!
You’d think that the kneepad-happy “publishers” of said intestinal parasitic remains would’ve at least THOUGHT of that as Marie headed down to viagra town…
*sigh*

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 31st, 2006

Is it just me or does Marie look like an arrogant, bitchy cunt-wipe?

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on December 31st, 2006

It’s weird when so many things come together…
We’ve been watching Bruce Tinsley’s stupidity bloom forth like drunk’s vomit this week: in the past few strips–sent in to editors AFTER his drinky-drivey arrest was made so very public–he has made constant references to the Joy Of Boozing.
Meanwhile, up near the top of this thread, I mention that Grand Canyon Park Service can’t tell people how old the canyon is, because it will offend Creationists. Naturally, while people were whining about being denied their Constitutionally-guaranteed right to force every public and private venue to announce a shared bigoted exclusion of “others” from their staked-out celebration, the truth is the reverse; reightwinger kulturtroopers are burying scientific fact under a truckload of horses#!& big enough to fill the Grand Canyon.
Brucey drops his own truckload in Sunday’s strip–TWICE. His 2007 Predictions include a War On New Year’s Day Greetings (oh my), and the transformation of St. Patrick’s Day into…
Into…
“Day Of Intoxicated Tolerance.”
GAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAsnksnksnksnk
(Sorry to go off-topic again, but this pathetic cry for help was too funny to ignore.)

Left by Happenstance on December 31st, 2006

Tripe. Eerk. With white sauce, double eerk. I have had to eat it, but that was before anorexia was invented as an excuse for throwing up inedible garbage disguised as food. Some may claim that tripe is a traditional component of English cuisine — I call it a form of child abuse.
In many ways I am probably a worse person than my parents were, but I can console myself with the thought that at least I’m not forcing the Doctorling Sonja to eat tripe.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 31st, 2006

I’ve had a few battles with the bottle (bottom line: depression undiagnosed) but Tinsley is the worst kind of saucer.
The hypocrite who excoriates Ted Kennedy whilst pouring himself another.
I get the disease, I sure as hell don’t get a hypocrite who’s NEVER been teh funny.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

Someone mentioned English cooking. I grew up with it and there’s only two things worth eating, kidney pie and pasties.
If there’s more please inform me, as my palate has taken years to recover.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

“Social progressive in the media have empathy for every radical far leftists.”
I know it’s churlish to criticise MJ’s grammar, but, wow. You do know the difference between “one” and “more than one”, don’t you, MJ?

Left by Ginger Yellow on December 31st, 2006

Oh, Annti, love, it ain’t in the sausage; it’s around the sausage (or usta be).

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 31st, 2006

Ginger, grammar is so far down the line of Marie Jon apostrophe’s problems that I can’t fathom her addressing it for years to come.
And yes, that was an excuse to incude the words “Marie Jon apostrophe” and “come” in the same sentence, which demonstrates how pathetic I have be”come”.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

She ought to think about flashing her boobs. That’s about the only way she’s going to get any serious attention from anyone. It worked for Pam Atlas.
Well…that and all the blow jobs…
By the way, maybe she meant a shorthand for “trippin’ ” thus showing off her ghetto cred.

Left by actor212 on December 31st, 2006

My Latino partner and his father regularly go to Mexican places serving genuine comida and get a big old vat of menudo (tripe) to go. His entire family loves it and says it’s delicious. I’ll have to take their word for it; although I’ve eaten insects and all sorts of shellfish, i just can’t bring myself to try menudo. But poor people don’t waste any part of an animal that is butchered. My partner’s dad, who grew up on an Apache reservation, eats tongue and pigs feet and ears are an especial treat.
I think I’m going to become a vegetarian again. I can’t eat meat anyway unless it’s disguised in some way. If it looks like it came off an animal it’s just nasty.
But as food analogies go, Marie’s writing (I use that term loosely) reminds me more of weevil infested flour. Or a cheese that’s had the edges nibbled away by mice.
I don’t know what I mean, it just feels right. I’ve started my celebrating a little early. We’re going to my partner’s sister’s for new years – hot wings, beer brats, pickle rollups, delicious fresh tortillas,enchiladas, lots of beer, and no menudo.
Happy New Year to all, may your 2007s be full of Happy Crappy!

Left by Candy on December 31st, 2006

Doghouse, darling, not in the MODERN sausage, thank heavens/FDA/whatever.
“Happy Crappy” — Candy, dear heart, I mean this in the most affectionate way possible, but that phrase automatically made me think of PURGATIVE DAY AT THE NURSING HOME.
We already know that the batshit-crazies and the illiterate bimbos and himbos of the reich-wing will continue, unabated, to provide us all with the idiocy, illiteracy, and pure-dee EEEEVILLL needed to provide us with mucho, mucho crappola fodder, chirrens, so fear not.
Such is the way of our through-the-Brazil-on-crack-looking-glass world, m’loves.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on January 1st, 2007

lemonheads, what about trifle? Pavlovas? shortbread and cherry pie, at least in Northumberland and points north?
other than those, of course, you’re only right…

Left by Tehanu on January 2nd, 2007

2 words, lemonheads. Shepherds Pie!
(I like Pie!)
mikey

Left by mikey on January 2nd, 2007

Two words with the opposite effect… Designed to send shivers down the spine…
Mushy
Peas.
P.S. Pavlovas are stolen from New Zealand cuisine, you culture-appropriating imperialists!

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 2nd, 2007

Marie Jon”s grammar and spelling were a lot better back when she was stealing her posts from other people.

Left by HemlockEcho on January 3rd, 2007