The Savage Weiner

In using his secret decoder ring to interpret the latest Pastor Swank message (“Muslim murders global drink more Ovaltine made from womb babies in outrageous macabre”), Gavin at Sadly, No! has the courage to ask the tough questions:

[W]hether teh international Muslim doKKKtor conspiratorzz drive to work in Oscar Mayer Wienermobiles. …That very well could be.

Sadly, yes!

Posted by scott on Monday, July 9th, 2007 at 5:29 pm.

5 Responses to “The Savage Weiner”

 

I actually got to ride in the Weinermobile one Mardi Gras. Bastids won’t let you smoke, though. Ironic?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on July 10th, 2007

I photographed the wienermobile participating in the ’04 Chicago Gay Pride Parade. That was the day irony died.

Left by Marq on July 10th, 2007

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer pulled over Oscar Mayer’s Wienermobile on Wednesday when its YUMMY license plates came up stolen, but the mix-up was soon sorted out and the famous hot dog was released.
“The officer quickly realized that it was not a ‘hot’ hot dog,” Oscar Mayer spokeswoman Syd Lindner told Meatingplace.com.
As it turns out, the plates were indeed stolen back in February in Columbia, Mo. The company obtained a replacement YUMMY plate that month and notified police in Missouri. However, when the Arizona officer ran the plate to make sure the 27-foot-long, 11-foot-tall hot dog on wheels was street legal, it still came back as stolen, with a note saying it was OK if found on the Weinermobile itself.
It’s not the first time the Wienermobile was in a pinch. “It’s been pulled over before,” Lindner said, though it’s usually just for fun and to take a closer look. “In this case, they were doing their job and looking out for our best interest,” she added.
The Wienermobile in question was one of six on the road for a promotion in which contestants sing the Oscar Mayer jingle for a chance to appear in a commercial and win “American Idol” tickets.

Left by gjdodger on July 10th, 2007

Marq, you gave me my first laugh of the day, and damned if it wasn’t loud.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on July 10th, 2007

Yes, Marq, great line.
The Wienermobile was parked near my sons’ preschool some years back, so by popular demand, I stopped nearby and unloaded my carpool to goggle at it. The first remark was, “They’re not kosher, though, you know.” Not bad for a four-year-old!

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on July 16th, 2007

 

The Latest Entertainment News . . .

 . . .courtesy of the marquee of the local multiplex:

Nancy Drew Knocked Up.

Well, we know the responsible party can’t be the ineffectual Ned Nickerson, so who do you think is the Baby Daddy?

Posted by s.z. on Friday, July 6th, 2007 at 8:42 pm.

16 Responses to “The Latest Entertainment News . . .”

 

 

One of those damn Hardy boys, I’ll bet.

Left by Chris Vosburg on July 6th, 2007

them or the Bang Gang, I say

Left by preznit giv me turkee on July 6th, 2007

No clue… I was always more of an Encyclopedia Brown & Trixie Belden girl, m’self, way back in the days that dinosaurs roamed the earth alongside Adam & Eve.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on July 6th, 2007

Its the Hardy Boys, can’t remember which one, but they’re trying to think of ways to get Nancy out of the sleuthing scene. Well, they’ve gone and done it now, question is, will Nancy give up her career and be a stay at home or will she eschew traditional marriage and trudge on forward with the career?
I hear Simon and Schuster might be making offers for a book deal.

Left by kate on July 6th, 2007

My money’s on Bert Bobbsey.

Left by scott on July 6th, 2007

My money’s on Bert Bobbsey.
Well…yeah, Bert supplied the sperm, but it was Nan who handled the turkey baster…

Left by maryc on July 6th, 2007

Nancy Drew is Mary Cheney in The Frozen Spooge Mystery.

Left by scott on July 6th, 2007

Can I blogwhore my Transformers review here? It really seems like this crowd would dig it. So, unless Scott or S.Z. planned on reviewing it, you can find my version at No More Mister Nice Blog or at my own place.

Left by D. Sidhe on July 7th, 2007

It’s not one of the Hardy boys. They aren’t really brothers. That’s just what they tell people to explain their living arrangement.
I was more into Encylopedia Brown as a kid too. (As a grownup, I found myself watching that cable show based on it-the one produced by “Savage’ Steve Holland. Should I be embarrassed by that?)

Left by Bill S on July 7th, 2007

kate writes: “Its the Hardy Boys, can’t remember which one,…”
Well, really, it’d kinda have to be Joe. Everybody in Bayport knows he’d screw a rip in a fur coat. Well, everybody but Iola’s brother Chet, that is.

Left by Chris Vosburg on July 7th, 2007

Incidentally, TCM recently ran the entirety of the Nancy Drew movies that Warner Brothers did in the late ’30s (4 of ‘em, I think) with the delightful Bonita Granville kicking ass as the plucky girl detective, and they were some of the best dumb fun I’ve had in ages.
Anyway, in the WarnerBros flicks her boyfriend Ned is renamed Ted. Later, she’d appear in “The Glass Key” as Opal “Snip” Madvig along with Alan Ladd, playing the Dash Hammett character Ned Beaumont, who Paramount renamed Ed.
I don’t know what this means.

Left by Chris Vosburg on July 7th, 2007

It means that I shouldn’t feel so bad for having “no life,” is what it means.
Heh.
“…he’d screw a rip in a fur coat.”
I am SO stealing that line.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on July 7th, 2007

P.S. Sorry that I forgot to say this last time, but no, Bill, you shouldn’t feel bad… unless you were hot for Encyclopedia Brown (after you’d passed the age of majority), at which point I’d start to worry.
But since you’re not Karl Rove OR his dad, or Mark Foley, I know that I’ve no reason to be concerned.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on July 7th, 2007

No, I was not hot for E.B., not then or when I was 12. I was a fan of “Savage” Steve after seeing “Better OffDead”, “One Crazy Summer” and the short-lived Fox series “The Adventures of Beans Baxter”.
I have a younger brother named Ned, and in kindergarten he let people call him “Eddie”, but it just didn’t take, and he went back to Ned. His kid’s named Ned too, but the little guy’s mother, AKA the Heartless Be-otch Who Dumped My Brother And Crushed His Heart, insited on calling him “Edward”. My brother cringes when someone calls him that. (He has primary custody, BTW.)

Left by Bill S on July 7th, 2007

Then the kid is obviously much better-off and will undoubtedly turn out nearly as cool as his Uncle Bill.
And “Better Off Dead” is one of my FAVORITE. MOVIES. OF. ALL. FUCKING. TIME!!!!!!
“I want my TWO DOLLARS!!!! I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!”
And that fat boy with the Medusa mother, who held the cute French exchange student hostage — is that a perfect prediction of Jonah Doughy Pantload Goldberg, or WHAT?!?!??!?! Hell, even the mutha is PERFECT as Lucianne!!!
(Who knew that this film would be so prescient… Not as much so as “Max Headroom,” but still… unnerving.)

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on July 8th, 2007

Well, I dunno-the mother/son duo in “The Unseen” might be closer to the mark-or are they more like Midge & J-Pod?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083261/

Left by Bill S on July 8th, 2007

Henry and June. Midnight Cowboy. World O’ Crap.

What do these have in common? We’re all rated X!

Why are we so bad?

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• gay (11x)
• rape (3x)
• porn (1x)

So, there. Talking about the GOP has made us X Rated.

Posted by Maryc on Thursday, June 21st, 2007 at 12:33 am.

28 Responses to “Henry and June. Midnight Cowboy. World O’ Crap.”

Hah! I’m more NC-17-Rated than you are, and that’s just my blog.
Apparently, zombies are automatically bad, but they’re willing to ignore the Bigfoots, so we have some points of philosophical agreement at least. Also, they got me saying “rape” eleven times, “gay” seven, “hell”, six, “sex” four, “torture” three, “death” twice, and “assholes” once.
All of which makes me wonder, who the hell are these people, and how do they manage to date while carefully cushioned head-to-toe in bubblewrap? I think I’ve just had my blog rated by fainting goats.
The interesting thing is, in both my case and that of Wo’C, this is exactly why we used most of those words, in an attempt to sort out why the *words* are stripped of context and declared obscene but the ideas, particularly when expressed by the ruling political party, are apparently perfectly fine.

Left by D. Sidhe on June 21st, 2007

Wow! My blog is rated “G” because no bad words were found… but maybe it’s only because the blog is in Spanish!

Left by Rebuscado on June 21st, 2007

“Baby Blog is site dedicated to providing you with articles and information geared to every stage of your baby’s development. Pregnancy, Newborn, Baby and Toddler.”
Rated R!!! This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* sex (8x)
* breast (6x)
* porn (2x)
* dangerous (1x)
Bad baby, bad!
Wait a minute! “Dangerous” is a “bad word”? In what world? (yes… I know…)

Left by Rebuscado on June 21st, 2007

just think of the rating you would have gotten if you’d said “teh ghey sex!!1!!11!”

Left by preznit giv me turkee on June 21st, 2007

I just entered the URL’s of some borderline porn sites I may or may not have heard of or accidently surfed to from some random page or other (cough), and they were all rated “G”. I think that puts any claims of legitimacy for this site to rest…

Left by JoeBuddha on June 21st, 2007

JoeBuddha, I tried it on a smut site, too, and it only reads what’s on the page you’ve plugged in. It doesn’t look at other pages on the same site, nor at anything you link to. It doesn’t even appear to read your blog archives, so you’d have a different rating at the beginning of the month than you would at the end of it.

Left by D. Sidhe on June 21st, 2007

I feel like Charlie Brown.
All I got was a “G”.
Hm. I guess I finally found the G spot.

Left by actor212 on June 21st, 2007

Gosh, this is a FUN game! I have a wee bloggy thing where all I ever do is drag stuff out from behind the New York Times firewall and I’m {drumroll} NC-17 too. Here’s what I racked up:
Death x 5
Suicide x 4
Dead x 3
Dangerous x 2
Crap x 1
(Well, maybe the “crap” was me making a comment about Bobo or MoDo…) But the rest is all straight out of the pages of that filthy hippie rag the NYT.

Left by Marion in Savannah on June 21st, 2007

Woohooo!!!! Y’all have finally ARRIVED!!!!!!
If I put my blog’s URL into this little censor-bot, will I make their server explode?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 21st, 2007

Uh oh, your rating has already mysteriously “improved” to an NC-17. We’d best fix that toot sweet!
pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker
You’re welcome.

Left by Gerald Fnord on June 21st, 2007

Sorry, Annti, four fucks, two fuckings, and one crap only get you an NC-17 too.
That’s barely one segment’s worth of an episode of Penn & Teller’s “Bullshit!”

Left by Mentis Fugit on June 21st, 2007

Aw, man, don’t remind me of how much I miss cable and Showtime, dammit.
And I *know* that there’s more than a measley FOUR “fucks” on that blog, dammit. Either that, or I’m losing my touch.
I want a gawddamned Redd Foxx TRIPLE-FUCKING XXX, dammit!!!

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 21st, 2007

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!
Dammit, Mentis, you were right.
Fucking lightweights. I have GOT to post more porn and/or G.O.P. subjects — same thing, really. It’s those fucking kittens that are making me look soft.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 21st, 2007

Even with adding 8 “fuckity”s, I’m STILL merely a fucking NC-17.
I haven’t been this insulted since that asshole “oral surgeon” lied to me (insulting my intelligence) about the tooth implant that I was promised in exchange for subjecting myself to be his guinea-pig for performing his first facelift. No toof, and the facelift didn’t exactly help, either. Haven’t smiled since 2004, and these cunts at Mingle2 are REALLY not increasing the odds of me grinning anytime soon.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 21st, 2007

Reminds me of AOL’s effort to clean up the internet for its customers in the mid 90s. They accidentally blocked access to a breast cancer survivor network, creating a righteous uproar.
The only real solution is to have people sitting at monitors checking things over and either approving or deleting them, page by page. Just like the Chinese do. (Speaking of which, has Murdoch bought WSJ yet?)

Left by trashfire on June 21st, 2007

Last I heard, WSJ bitch-slapped Murdoch’s greedy talons away and said, “No thanks, asshole!”
But then, that was last week, I’m sure that he’s mounting a hostile takeover as we speak, if not mounting an altar boy.
And hey, we’ve outsourced half of our industries to China, half of our jobs, and a huge chunk of our pet food — why not let them censor us while they’re at it???
Never fails to make my gut boil when I hear another glowing, gloaming, guttural, gleeful report of how well Chinese “capitalism” is doing for Murkin robber-barons — and yet, not mention ONE in ANY of the Murkin media about the THOUSANDS of human-rights/legalized slavery violations of the Chinese gubmint. Oh, no, everything in China is just HUNKY-DORY, honey — long as Wally World and Dollar Tree and the Dollar General Store and Target get their cheap plastic shit at pennies-on-the-dollar, all is right with the world!
I think that our biggest national industry (well, the only one left) is CONSUMERISM, hence, we are not allowed to think about the sweatshops from whence our cheap plastic shit cometh. Just can’t have the consumers THINKING, now can we kids.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 21st, 2007

We’re NC-17 as well (Yay! Whee!) but we just don’t get “dangerous” being a bad word per se. And no “fucks” at all. Must not use it by itself, just in “fuckwad” & the like.
P. S. It provides different results each time it rates, seeming to search more each time, ferreting out new naughtiness.

Left by M. Bouffant on June 22nd, 2007

[...] (link via World O’ Crap) [...]

Left by Heavy Metal Librarian » Blog Archive » Expect to Hear From My Lawyers Within the Day on June 22nd, 2007

seeming to search more each time, ferreting out new naughtiness.
Ah, John Ashcroft, how we miss you….

Left by D. Sidhe on June 22nd, 2007

It provides different results each time it rates, seeming to search more each time, ferreting out new naughtiness.

I suspect it searches comments, as well. Thus, as “naughty” comments are added, the “naughtiness”-factor goes up.
So, my contribution to this post:
Fucking asswipe gay rape porn!
Thank yew.

Left by Marq on June 22nd, 2007

And, Annti–you’ll always be rated NC-17 in my book!

Left by Marq on June 22nd, 2007

Now wait just a goddamn minute here. I only get an R? “Based on the presence of these words: Shit (3x) Fuck (2x) and Ass (1x)”
So “gay” and “porn” get a NC-17 (what used to be X long ago) but “shit” and “fuck” are rated R? What’s wrong with this picture?

Left by Realist on June 22nd, 2007

BTW, Annti, if you want a triple X rating, you’ll have to get it the same way the porno filmmakers get theirs – they award it to themselves. There is no official XXX rating. NC-17 (formerly X) is as bad as it gets.

Left by Realist on June 22nd, 2007

Dammit. Well, my dear Realist, seems that it falls upon your superior (to mine, anyway, and it’s not like THAT’S hard to beat!) photoshopping skills to make M.O.B. the Redd Foxx Triple-XXX rating that I crave.
Though I wouldn’t throw it up on there next to the Unicef button, if possible. Heh.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 23rd, 2007

BTW, when I worked in the Wally World Of Porn (Airline Adult Books of Kenner, LA), one X was for full-frontal nudity and hints of penetration, XX was penetration of your missionary-position orifices, and XXX was full penetration of EVERY orifice, including the money shots.
So nyeh.
Even porn-mongers have their standards.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 23rd, 2007

WHAT. THE. FUCK.?!?!??!?!?
I just put up a post, and it’s not even “awaiting moderation”?!??!?!?!?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 23rd, 2007

THIRD FUCKING TRY.
Thanks to Realist, Mark Of The Beast is now XXX-Rated!!!!!!
(Some of us take our thrills where we can get ‘em.)

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 23rd, 2007

Well Those Weapons Of Mass Destruction Aren’t In Your Ass, Mr. President

Mitt Romney, he of the chiseled features and airport-quality shoulders, takes a cue from another Man of Faith, Michael Medved and “looks past platitudes about love to focus on the raw actuality of male-male eroticism.”

Anyway…Caption contest anyone?

Posted by scott on Monday, June 18th, 2007 at 8:10 pm.

32 Responses to “Well Those Weapons Of Mass Destruction Aren’t In Your Ass, Mr. President”

The rejected cover for that Blink-182 album.

Left by Bill S on June 18th, 2007

Jan. 3, 2007: Outgoing Gov. Romney prepares to sign bill banning irony.
OR
Aug. 31, 2007: Former Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney’s campaign took another turn toward the bizarre today. He celebrated the 40th anniversary of the flub that cost his father the nomination by hosting a Romney family colonic. “My dad said he’d been brainwashed. Well, I’m taking it to the next level. C’mon now, boys, cleanliness is next to godliness. You, too, Craig!”

Left by Matthew Garth on June 18th, 2007

No stranger to pandering, Romney explains to Log Cabin Republicans that it’s “Best to play safe when packin’ fudge.”

Left by Nino the Mindboggler on June 18th, 2007

Startled by a blogger’s question at his latest photo-op, Willard “Mitt” Romney denies that he’s the love child of Ted Dansen and The Addams Family’s Lurch.
(A lame effort, I know, but I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks, now.)

Left by D. Sidhe on June 18th, 2007

He’s going to need longer gloves.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 18th, 2007

He just lost the over 50 male vote.

Left by M. Bouffant on June 18th, 2007

Yeah, but he may have picked up the coveted Housewives Under Forty Who Vacuum In Pearls And Dig The Undertaker Look voting block.
I just have this image of him and Ann Coulter as King and Queen of the Senior Prom, Twin Peaks Alternative High School, Class of ’74.
Annti, you got the brain bleach over there? Can I borrow it?

Left by D. Sidhe on June 19th, 2007

“Now You Know Why They Call Me ‘Mitt’ (…AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!)”
“Vote ROMNEY: He Digs Deeper”

Left by Happenstance on June 19th, 2007

“Romney, for every answer at the latest Fox ‘News” Republican’t Debate, shouts ‘Nothing up my sleeve… Presto! Ooh, musta been teh wrong asshat,’ in a Bullinkle voice, as he yoinks a snarling rhino, tiger, or lion out of the sphincter of one of his fellow Republican’t candidates.”
But, don’t worry…
Those green rubber gloves are infused with aloe, so nobody will be effected with itchy assholes.
Particularly not the RHINOs.

Left by Marq on June 19th, 2007

D’oh!

Left by Marq on June 19th, 2007

Governor Romney prepares to embody his presidential slogan: “This will hurt me more than it will hurt you…I can assure you.”
Five minutes later, Romney had a revelatation, leading to a refinement of the message: “No, you were right, it’s going to hurt you the worst.

Left by Vivek on June 19th, 2007

“Bend over. I’m looking for votes.”

Left by Diamond LeGrande on June 19th, 2007

“Well, they said I was a fudge packer, so I thought I should put on these gloves.”

Left by darkell on June 19th, 2007

Have no fear, D., the 50-gallon drum is on its way.
Along with those shoulder-length gloves that vets use to palpate cows.
I can’t be the only one who thinks of “Dr. Strangelove” when I hear the name, MITT!, can I?
Letterman had a cute list last night about MITT!

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 19th, 2007

There’s a new little meme running around the internets and you’ve been tagged with it.
http://ironicusmaximus.blogspot.com/
We’d be interested to read your response, but you have to understand, we don’t get out much.

Left by Ironicus on June 19th, 2007

Okay, Diamond LeGrande wins my vote for best caption, and second place goes to Scott for the title of this post. You know, you gotta hand it to these rightwing loonies: if they weren’t so incredibly stupid, we couldn’t have nearly so much fun.

Left by BeginningToWonder on June 19th, 2007

Wait, I got one more. (Well, some of us are slow.)
“Reminded to wear gloves when touching the customer’s food, Romney prepares to do more for the safety and well-being of the citizenry than he ever will as president.”
Probably wasn’t worth it, was it. The Bigfoot in the kitchen came up with it, I swear.

Left by D. Sidhe on June 19th, 2007

Now, I know you’re only supposed to use a finger to check the prostate, but where’s the sport in that???

Left by actor212 on June 19th, 2007

“no glove, no love”
The rejected cover for that Blink-182 album.
Left by Bill S
I was thinking more Spinal Tap

Left by preznit giv me turkee on June 19th, 2007

D. Sidhe’s reference to the Senior Prom reminds me of the story of Mittens’ first meeting w/ the Ann he would marry:
http://mbouffant.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html#1675518048956110054
Read it & weep.

Left by M. Bouffant on June 19th, 2007

“Let’s see what I can pull out of my butt besides that bogus story about French marriages being replaced by 7-year contracts.”

Left by Tara the anti-social social worker on June 19th, 2007

“Fine! I’ll put the glove on! What a bunch of sissies you people are.”

Left by gregp on June 19th, 2007

A non-dirty joke:
Mitt’s family warned him about the caffeine content in chocolate, but he didn’t listen, so now he’s hooked.You know what they say:
Once you go caffeinated, you can’t be rehabilitated.
{Okay, so that was funnier in my head.Stop reading this thread and look at s.z.’s cute kitty pictures.)

Left by Bill S on June 20th, 2007

Hey hey O-hi-o, Im in ur azz, steeling ur votes.

Left by some chick on June 20th, 2007

“See, it’s like a condom you can use five times!”

Left by Kip W on June 20th, 2007

Yeah, right, like Mor(m)ons use CONDOMS.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 21st, 2007

Well, Smint wore the gLove *every time,* saying to his wife, “I don’t see how this is supposed to prevent pregnancy!”
5 sons later, she went on an IUD.
Ol’ Willard was heard to say, “Hey! I really think I’m getting the *hang* of these things!
.
Yes, I only told that true story to leave you with the mental image of Mitt naked except for green rubber gloves. Thank me later!

Left by Marq on June 22nd, 2007

:::flogs Marq mercilessly with iron-tipped cat-o’-nine-tails until the 50-gallon-vat of clorox arrives:::

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 23rd, 2007

Two by two, hands of blue…
(for all you Firefly fans)

Left by Robbie Taylor on June 23rd, 2007

“Just let me get this glove on and I’ll be packing fudge like Mark Foley.”

Left by Disturbance on June 25th, 2007

Hey, if it’ll help, Annti, picture a different imageto chase away the one Marq left you with-like Mitt peeling those gloves off with his teetch…but the exact same expression he has in the above picture. Then dangling the gloves…somewhere.

Left by Bill S on June 26th, 2007

Bill, dammit, you know that I’m too fucking tired to really give you a proper flogging with the cat o’nine… Go flog yourself.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 27th, 2007

Today’s Top Google Search Strings…

…bringing people to World O’Crap:

“Embarassed Christian girl boobs”

“Moral superiority” + “animal rescue”

“Sean Bean smoking”

and (drumroll, please…)

“How fucked up my gaydar is”

It’s nice to see that we’re appealing to a fairly broad demographic.

Posted by scott on Saturday, June 2nd, 2007 at 1:30 am.

7 Responses to “Today’s Top Google Search Strings…”

D00d! You callin’ us fat?!?eleventy1?

Left by Marq on June 2nd, 2007

You’ve said it. Keep on comming with sugestions, mate!

Left by PALAVROSSAVRVS REX on June 2nd, 2007

“Embarassed Christian girl boobs”
Well, if I were a pair of boobs on a Christian girl, I too would be embarrassed. Late at night, while she’s sleeping, we’d sneak off to the internet to read this fine, fine blog, using the humor found here to alleviate the embarrassment. I mean, it’s not like she’d know we were gone or anything, being the fine and upstanding Christian girl she is, right?

Left by Sporkey on June 2nd, 2007

Dude! How do you find out what Google search led people to your site. I must know.

Left by jenny dreadful on June 2nd, 2007

Simple as can be. If you’ve got Site Meter, go to the Recent Visitors sidebar and click on By Referrals.

Left by scott on June 2nd, 2007

I suppose next you’ll have Gavin M. Photoshoppe Gianormous Stalks of Celery™©, or even Humongous Sammiches®℠ into all of our hands! People like you just would!

Left by Marq on June 2nd, 2007

I want the ISP address on the “person” who googled “Moral superiority” + “animal rescue”
BTW, anybody want a good barn cat?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 4th, 2007

Heavens To Murgatroyd!

EXIT, stage left!
(Stolen from Hoffmania, which stole it from Blah3.)

Posted by scott on Thursday, May 31st, 2007 at 9:33 pm.

11 Responses to “Heavens To Murgatroyd!”

Cape Water buffalo don’t have the greatest sense of sight. They rely more on their sense of smell. They must have been upwind of the lions. They’re pretty belligerent, so I’m surprised they ran at first-I was not surprised that they came back én mass to kick ass later, peeling off those lionesses one-by-one. Nor was I surprised by the cameo appearance by Mr. Crocodile, once the action had retired to the riverbank for a while. After all that biting and clawing, it looks like the calf (SPOILER ALERT!) survives, though it’s hard to say, with the inevitable blood-loss and threat of tropical infections (END SPOILER ALERT!). Isn’t Nature… “wonderful?”

Left by Marq on June 1st, 2007

Marq, would you like to come over and watch nature documentaries with me? I promise I’ll make dinner and won’t hit on you.
My partner briefly got into Sunrise Earth based on the fact that it was on the brand new HDTV, but quickly lost interest. “So does some kind of helicopter come in and crash into that lake?” “Does the crocodile eat anyone? How can you tell it’s an alligator?” “Are there gonna be, like, human sacrifices on that pyramid?” “What’s with all the damned ducks?” “You seriously mean the entire plot is just that the sun… comes up? It doesn’t even explode or anything?”

Left by D. Sidhe on June 1st, 2007

I feel like such a lily-livered chickenshit.
I was flinching the entire time, and y’all were reveling in it.
Granted, I was pulling for the calf, but still — jeeebus, Marlin Perkins never got this graphic.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on June 1st, 2007

Ho. Lee. Shee-it!!!!!!!!!

Left by Bill S on June 1st, 2007

If that is life at the watering hole, no wonder we invented pubs.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on June 1st, 2007

Water Buffalo = insurgents?

Left by SLOdrive on June 1st, 2007

I (heart) Buffalo!
All kinds, be it North American Bison bison or bad ass capes; if there is an animal icon to embrace, the Buffalo it is.

Left by heydave on June 1st, 2007

The lions are the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy en masse – everybody from Richard Scaife to George Walker Bush – and the buffalo herd is the outraged and increasingly mobilized rest of us. The calf is the Constitution of the United States.
The crocodile is Karl Rove, or maybe Richard Cheney. Maybe both.
Obvious!

Left by Li'l Innocent on June 1st, 2007

Hey, Mr. the Ace of Spades linked to this or posted it or something last week or so. Now stop and think for just a moment: Do you want anything to do w/ anything Mr. Ace wants anything to do w/?
But enough, now I’m going to actually watch the thing in squeamish delight!

Left by M. Bouffant on June 1st, 2007

The people who paid for that safari sure got there money’s worth.
D. Sidhe-You’re partner sounds like riot. We’d get along. “What’s with all the damn ducks?”

Left by pablo on June 2nd, 2007

Li’l Innocent, I’m thinking that the calf was the 2002 antiwar movement, and the other cape buffalo are wussy democrats who stood around watching the loner get gored and half-drowned for a long time, until they finally figured out that there were enough of them to actually do something about it. May be too late for the loner, but at least the kitties are on the run.

Left by trashfire on June 2nd, 2007

Hollywood Blvd Disproves Theory of Evolution!

Sure, the “Hollywood Renaissance” is bringing on a flood of trendy clubs and upscale clothing emporia, chasing out the tchotchke shops for disappointed tourists, the tranny shoe-and-schmatta stores, and the tattoo-and-piercing parlors.  But so what?  From it’s earliest days, Hollywood was a magnet for filmmakers and filmgoers, and This…

…used to look like this:

I always thought the Fox was the ugliest damn theater on Hollywood Boulevard, until I saw how it looked when it was built in the early 30′s (and well into the 50′s…check out the marquee on the right.)

Again.  This…

Evolved from this…

If Darwin was here right now, I’d give him such a pinch…!

Posted by scott on Tuesday, May 29th, 2007 at 9:44 pm.

5 Responses to “Hollywood Blvd Disproves Theory of Evolution!”

Oh, yeah, wasn’t that a porn theatre & then some kind of church, w/ a hot dog stand next to the entrance? Between the fanny-pack sporting “visitors” during the daylight hours, the binge-drinking twenty-nothings staggering the streets at night & my being too depressed to work @ the FedExKinko’s on Vine any more, I don’t get out of WeHo & up to the Blvd. like I used to. Ah, nostalgia.

Left by M. Bouffant on May 30th, 2007

Oh, yeah, wasn’t that a porn theatre & then some kind of church, w/ a hot dog stand next to the entrance?
That was the Ritz, which is located a little further west on Hollywood Boulevard. It was built in 1940 as the News-View, and showed only newsreels. Here’s a pic of it from the 1951 Hollywood Christmas parade (and if I were one of the beauty queens on that float, I don’t think I’d relish riding the entire length of the Boulevard while breathing in the exhaust from that Army Jeep):
http://tinyurl.com/23e7oa
It later became part of the Pussycat chain of porn theaters, where a double bill of Deep Throat and The Devil in Miss Jones reportedly ran for 8 years, before turning into the Ritz in the early 90s and ending its days as a second-run grindhouse. It’s now a Spanish language church. You can still see the distinctive Oval Pussycat Theater sign on the roof:
http://tinyurl.com/2jwnac

Left by scott on May 30th, 2007

Not that anyone cares, but you can see the Ritz when it was the Pussycat (and showing the abovementioned double bill) in this shot of the 1977 Hollywood Blvd Gay Pride parade:
http://tinyurl.com/33ajgf

Left by scott on May 30th, 2007

“Marymount College?!?” Yipes! A wee bit sexualized, no?

Left by Marq on May 31st, 2007

Closer examination reveals that to be a USMC jeep. Enjoyed all the photos, & the link to the Masque.

Left by M. Bouffant on May 31st, 2007

Quote O’ The Day

“Two hundred years ago we had Jefferson, Washington, Ben Franklin and Tom Paine, and there were 4 million people. Today we have 220 million and look at our leaders. Darwin was wrong.”
–Mort Sahl

Posted by scott on Friday, May 18th, 2007 at 7:21 pm.

17 Responses to “Quote O’ The Day”

And that, I’ll wager, was a bi-centennial observation on the part of Mr. Sahl. Now, 30 yrs. later, we have an additional 80 million morons in “our” country. and the leaders are even worse than those of 30 yrs. ago. Sweet Blood of Jesus!!

Left by M. Bouffant on May 18th, 2007

You’re baaaack! Earlier today I couldn’t get anything but a 404 here, and on top of the same thing over at The Poor Man’s, I was starting to feel like I was in some freaky internets version of The Langoliers, or one of those cartoons where The Giant Pencil Of God slowly and methodically erases everything around the character.
Don’t mind me. The Inderal dosage isn’t quite right, I don’t think. I dig not having as many migraines, but I’m not so keen on the part where I spent all last night hallucinating zombies running up behind me and stopping to stare at me. I don’t get that, actually. They’re my hallucinations. They shouldn’t be so surprised to see me there.
Also, I’m not getting enough sleep. But I’m really glad you’re here again.

Left by D. Sidhe on May 18th, 2007

D., glad to hear you’re getting fewer migraines, even if it comes with an increase in easily startled zombies.
Our hosting company had a cascade failure of some kind, and I couldn’t get to the site myself until late this afternoon. I figured it was either a Denial of Service Attack by fans of Shark Attack 3, or the worst episode of Punk’d EVAH.

Left by scott on May 18th, 2007

D,’s hallucinations sound like “the worst episode of Punk’d EVAH.” Try getting more sleep, D. Something I’m taking can lead to totally rawkin’ hallucinations if I happen to stay up for 36 hours or so.
What?
It can happen!

Left by Marq on May 19th, 2007

BTW, I was watching “Buck Privates,” and in the course of the film, they happen to mention that the U.S. population was something like 130 million in 1941, so the population has more than doubled since then. They had FDR as preznit, and we have…
*sigh*
OK.
Depressed now.
Gonna stop.

Left by Marq on May 19th, 2007

“zombies running up behind me and stopping to stare at me. I don’t get that, actually. They’re my hallucinations.”
hallucinations or no, zombies are actually rather socially backward. They’re also not known for having long memories — not unlike the majority of the voting public but I digress. Zombies are very good with small animals but not so much with teenagers.

Left by Donna on May 19th, 2007

D.-
Vivid nightmares are a pretty common side effect of Inderal. You might try asking your doctor to switch you to a different beta-blocker. I use Atenelol for my migraines, and it works pretty good, with no nightmares.

Left by trenchcoat on May 19th, 2007

How many internets did George Washington invent?
I rest my case.

Left by Sandals on May 19th, 2007

Try switching to Dammitol. Better yet, take Umbrage.

Left by trashfire on May 19th, 2007

I dig not having as many migraines, but I’m not so keen on the part where I spent all last night hallucinating zombies running up behind me and stopping to stare at me. I don’t get that, actually.
well, they’re just wondering if they eat your brains while you’re on your meds if they’ll get indigestion. or maybe they don’t know how they’ll taste without the frisson of the migraine

Left by preznit giv me turkee on May 19th, 2007

:::thwaps the crap outta Preznit for being so damned insensitive about migraines:::
Y’know, D., the way you describe the zombies, you sound far more bemused than horrified, so I figure you oughta just roll with it and see where it takes you — you could write the next “Evil Dead” sequel! Bruce’s jaw and all!
And as far as the morons go… Well, hell, isn’t that the whole raison d’etre of World O’Crap? If it weren’t for the morons who’ve taken over our country worse than an entire HORDE of brain-eating zombies, would we all have convened at this very site to gnaw at the scenery and vent our angst over watching our very country (and our kinfolks) being destroyed by these evil fucks?
Seeing as how atrophy is the general nature of the universe, I dunno if I wanna see what the NEXT crop of evil fucks are gonna be like… It’ll get worse, it always gets worse, but do I have to watch?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on May 19th, 2007

Wow. I managed to hijack a whole thread! Um, sorry about that, actually. My partner’s off on a business trip starting Monday (I mentioned the Star Wars convention, right?) so I’ll have a whole week to re-read Better Living Through Bad Movies (“This book got the zombies out of my kitchen! Buy yours today, and no bloody footprints to mop up tomorrow! Thanks, Sheri and Scott!”), and also a book called “Field Guide to the Apocalypse: Movie Survival Skills for the End of the World”. Sadly, it has no zombie chapter, nor do I know the author, so I’m glad I got it used.

Left by D. Sidhe on May 20th, 2007

Its previous owner got rid of it in a fit of pique after the world failed to end at the turn of the millennium.

Left by Marq on May 21st, 2007

:::thwaps the crap outta Preznit for being so damned insensitive about migraines:::
hey, I got corpse parts now so I’z got zombie cred

Left by preznit giv me turkee on May 21st, 2007

Zombie cred?
You’re hanging with ZWA? (Zombies Wit Attitude)
And where did you harvest the corpse parts, and, um, whyyyyyyy?!??!?!?!?
You ought to know damned well by now the art of proper body disposal, using woodchippers to create your own homegrown blood and bone meal to nurture succulent roses, and how to mix-in the 50-lb. sack of quicklime in order to degrade the DNA past the point of recognition by even the impossible-to-afford technology on CSI.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on May 21st, 2007

And where did you harvest the corpse parts, and, um, whyyyyyyy?!??!?!?!?
ACL Reconstruction surgery about 5 weeks ago, they used an allograft (aka corpse parts) for the fix.

Left by preznit giv me turkee on May 22nd, 2007

Ohhhhhhh, sorry to hear about the surgery, man, why didn’t you tell anybody? I could’ve found you some appropriately pornographic get-well cards!
And don’t feel bad, I’ve got donor bone in the tooth implant that was never finished (hence my smile like a ragged picket fence), as well as in the spinal fusion that now has the broken screw ratcheting in and out of the bone. I just hope that they were healthy corpses, before they became corpses, anyway. Wouldn’t want any rotting zombie tissue permanently-attached at this point, y’know?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on May 22nd, 2007

Lileks Has Just Been Replaced On The Web, As Well

Here’s a taste of Steve Don’t Eat it:

I knew I was in trouble as soon as I opened the jar, and heard no reassuring vacuum seal. I must admit that made me nervous, but what are the odds of a dusty jar of warm pig skin going bad, right?

Lifting the lid revealed a weird sour smell, something akin to mild vinegar and stale meat. I almost want to say it was like a freshly douched pork chop. But I won’t. Why? Because I’m a fucking gentleman.

As I attempted to fish out a “good one,” I couldn’t help notice the alarming skin texture. For all those times I wondered what it would be like to gnaw on my grandmother’s thigh, I was about to find out.

It’s like a cross between Lilek’s Gallery of Regrettable Food and a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.  Enjoy.

Posted by scott on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 3:25 am.

7 Responses to “Lileks Has Just Been Replaced On The Web, As Well”

Great for dieters!

Left by BeginningToWonder on May 8th, 2007

[mmmppphhhh]
[mmmppphhhh]
[mmmppphhhh]
[mmmppphhhh]
BBBLLLLLAAAAARRRFFFFFF!!!11!
[hkkktph]
[ughktph'
[hktph]
[ulph]
ah.
.
Damn it, scott! You made me lose my pig-tongues-in-beef-blood-sausage sammich! Now, I’ll have to make another one!

Left by Marq on May 8th, 2007

Steve is a strong man. Been a fan of his for ages. I think he’s run out of alarming food for SDEI tho.

Left by billy pilgrim on May 8th, 2007

Laughed so hard chocolate breast milk came out of my nose…….

Left by trashfire on May 8th, 2007

i LOVE The Sneeze. Steve’s da man.

Left by Uncle Mike on May 8th, 2007

Steve really needs to find a less pedantic hobby.

Left by heydave on May 9th, 2007

This website makes me feel weird in ways that I didn’t realize existed.

Left by Yule Brawl on May 10th, 2007