The Lessons of Bikinigate

Marq is right — it’s time to drop the Foley matter for a while, and discuss what is REALLY important: Bikinigate.

For just when you thought that it was safe to go back in the Photoshop, Townhall gave a guest columnist spot to college student Ashley Herzog, the coed whose online photos of innocent young Republican life were hijacked by some anonymous Flickr user.

And here’s Michelle Malkin to present her latest young protegee:

Ashley Herzog is the Ohio University student whose photos were filched by some unknown hate-monger–still unidentified, still out there–who created a fake Flickr site with Photoshopped images of me. Those images were falsely publicized last week by UNC School of Law professor Eric Muller as authentic, and then picked up and broadcast widely by the Gawker Media smear machine. [...] Today at Townhall.com, Ashley talks back to the smear machine.

So, let’s let Ashley tell us some of the sad lessons that she learned from this tragic affair, and listen while she talks back to the smear machine (which probably doesn’t read Townhall, but what the heck).

Future women leaders of America: Beware of Photoshop::By Ashley Herzog
Future women leaders of America beware: if you plan on a career in politics, don’t allow yourself to be photographed in a bikini.

Words we can all live by, especially leaders of America who plan to become women in the future.

Especially if you’re the type of woman who speaks out against the sexualization of young girls, the media will be eager to use it against you. That is what we learned from conservative author Michelle Malkin last week.

And what will happen to you are a future woman leader of America and you allow yourself to be photographed in a bikini? Well, from Michelle, we learned that Gawker/Wonkette will poke fun at you for a day, and, um, well, that’s about all that happens. So, future women leaders, either keep your swimsuit photos off the Internet, or get over yourself, girlfriend.

But wait, there are actually futher things to beware of, since the prankster who put Michelle’s head on another girl’s body also used Ashley’s photos to imply that Michelle had hot friends when she attended college.

Whoever made the photo page apparently wasn’t content to insult Malkin, an Asian woman, with racial slurs – a popular activity among her critics. Instead, they aimed to expose her as a hypocrite. Using pictures stolen from various Webshots.com accounts, including mine, the creator wrote captions to imply that I had had been a classmate of Malkin’s at Oberlin College in the early 90s – and that she was anything but a moralist back then.

The bastards!

So, I guess the real lesson for future women leaders is: avoid having your photo taken with Michelle Malkin, as that’s presumably what led the hoaxster to mess with Ashley’s photo gallery in the first place.

As for Michelle, I guess the lesson is: what goes around comes around.

Or the message for both of them is to stop taking theirselves so seriously.

Anyway, we’ll skip the anecdotes about Liberals Gone Wild in Comments Sections of Blogs, because Ashley just copied them from Michelle.  And we’ll leave you on your own to read the stolen body’s anguish on seeing Michelle’s head attached to her torso (her tale reminds me of the MST classic The Brain that Wouldn’t Die), and get right to Ashley’s disillusionment with online media, blogs, and humankind in general.

This is the brave new world of Internet media. Like many Americans, I entered it with a naïve notion of bloggers as modern-day pamphleteers, throwing the cover off stories that the establishment media won’t touch. I believed that Internet blogs, being far more democratic mediums than mainstream television networks and newspapers, would show respect for the truth.  But after visiting a few popular blogs, I realized I was sadly mistaken. At best, many zero in on political gossip and absurd non-issues, such as whether a conservative author ever posed in a swimsuit. At worst, many political blogs are cesspools of racism, misogyny, and obscenity, not to mention vicious lies.

Speak power to truth, sister! But I think she was a little hard on Powerline and Instapundit (but she certainly has LittleGreenFootball’s number).

The posts and links to my pictures are still up, and I’m no longer anticipating a response from Gawker. They are a multimillion-dollar behemoth; I’m a college kid with a claim to a few stolen photographs. They have nothing to lose by ignoring me. [...]  Gawker and its ilk appear willing to perpetuate bald-faced lies in order to advance an agenda. And they don’t mind taking a few innocent college girls along for the ride.

A sad story indeed — it reminds me of a Dickens novel, or maybe a Lifetime Made for TV Movie (suggested title: Little Photoshop of Horror).

But if you’re like me, you want to know more this innocent college girl, and what she does when not having her photos used to smear Michelle Malkin.  And it turns out that she writes a regular conservative column for the student paper.  Here’s part of one that you might find interesting:

Women Should Cross Party Lines to Combat Porn
One day last spring I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when a schleppy-looking guy in a plaid shirt asked me to pose in his topless magazine.
“Have you ever considered modeling?” he asked, as I picked up my pace in an effort to ditch him. “Come on, don’t keep that body a secret!”

In case you’re curious, here’s a photo of Ashley — she’s the blonde.
Now, back to the story:

On one hand his proposition was comical, especially because I’m not particularly well endowed in any area of interest to a nude magazine. Still, I couldn’t help but fume. Why did this man assume that I – a total stranger – would jump at the chance to undress for him? And why hadn’t anyone else told him to get lost?

The answer turns out to be that feminists are against the exploitation of women, and no good conservative girl wants to be taken for a feminist, so they all take their tops off when Playboy comes to town.

After all, it was feminist heroine Gloria Steinem who went undercover as a Playboy bunny in the 1970s – and then attacked the magazine for its egregious sexism. Conservatives have been silent on the issue ever since. As my friend explained, “I think it’s wrong – I just don’t want to be called a feminist.”

So, I guess the lesson that future women leaders of America can take from this is: if a photo of you in a bikini later comes back to haunt you, just claim that you posed in order to show your opposition to all things feminist.

Posted by s.z. on Saturday, October 7th, 2006 at 2:37 am.

If I hear (or read) one more daffy ding-dong refer to bloggers as “modern-day pamphleteers,” I am going shove sticks of dynamite in my ears and light them…just before running naked through the streets of DC. Yuck. BTW, I noticed Ashley’s school email address is at the bottom of the article to which you linked.

Left by circumlocutor on October 7th, 2006

Maybe the lesson is in the next French Prime Minister’s political career: do it only if you have the bod…if you don’t, keep that caftan on.

Left by actor212 on October 7th, 2006

Am I the only one who thinks Ashley’s column was just an excuse to tell everybody that a guy approached her and told her she was really hot?
I will say though, that judging from her photo, she’s all right. The brunette girl reminds me of Diana Canova.

Left by Bill S on October 7th, 2006

Yes, Beware of Photoshop. It hates our freedom. Maybe we can have photoshop declared an enemy combatant, take away its right to habeus corpus, and then ‘persuade” it to tell us who has done such heinous things to Michelle and Ashley.

Left by tomg on October 7th, 2006

First, I’ve owned photo-editing software nearly as long as Ashley’s been alive, and I got my first copy of Photoshop (v. 2.5, IIRC) in 1994, so the idea that she’s suddenly become aware that her pics could be grabbed and manipulated by unscrupulous pamphleteers is flummery.
Second, I’m also old enough to remember those glorious pre-feminist days when young women could walk the streets and never get propositioned. Sheesh, every time I turn around there’s some young Republican or some not-so-young Jonah Goldberg trying to convince me that what has been accomplished in civil and social rights for women, minorities, and gays in the past half-century would have occurred in the normal course of things if everyone had just stayed calm and not talked back to their betters. And no, I don’t believe that even they are so ignorant. Ms Hertzog, had you wished to press charges against that street-corner mope, you can thank feminists, not Phyllis Schlafly, for the fact that your university, or your police force, would bother taking you seriously, or that the defense attorney couldn’t enter those bikini shots as evidence you had it comin’.

Left by Doghouse Riley on October 7th, 2006

Hey! That Ashley girl is actually really cute! I think it’s time for her to start plotting and scheming to take over Ann Coulter’s job. I’ll still hate what she says, but at least she’s a real girl, who’s quite cute.
Come on, Ashley–Do the All About Eve thingy to Ann! She’s too old to still be on TV spouting hateful stuff! Spouting hateful stuff is for teh hot bods of the GOP!

Left by maryc on October 7th, 2006

Well, with Ashley and Ann, it’d be the dollar-store version of “All About Eve”, seeing as how neither is as smart or as interesting Eve and Margo.
On an unrelated note-if my memory serves me right, this Wednesday (Oct. 11) is the birthday of the very demure and soft-spoken Anntichrist S. Coulter. So let me be the first to wish her a Happy Whatever-Her-Age-Is Birthday!

Left by Bill S on October 7th, 2006

Nothing demonstrates one’s great whopping bimbohood to the world quite so well as throwing a fit that your very public image has been cruelly photoshopped onto a bikini model by “hatemongers”, and loudly contemplating libel actions. That’s the same sort of grasp on the law we’ve come to know and love from people like Ann Coulter and Ben Shapiro. (Who, just as soon as I reinstall Photoshop, will end up with his head on Ashley’s body. Then I’m sticking Annie’s head on a praying mantis. Oh, wait, God already did that one.)
It amazes me that Ms Malkin believes it possible to defame or discredit her in any way that is worse than what she’s done to herself. Though I admit the bikini thing was kind of pointless–I’d have put her head on her husband’s body.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 7th, 2006

Sheesh. Some people just don’t have a sense of humor about things. In Michelle’s case, it’s not like anyone Photoshopped a bunch of ping-pong balls into the bikini pic. Maybe she just feels self-conscious about her freakishly tiny head. I’m sure that by utilizing stem cells, we could get it to triple in size, at which point it would be only slightly smaller than normal.

On one hand his proposition was comical, especially because I’m not particularly well endowed in any area of interest to a nude magazine.

Oh, the heartbreak of just not being well hung! Why, it’s enough to drive some young men to crossdress and rename themselves “Ashley.” And all because Rep. Foley “lol”ed when “Ashley” reported back the results of his request for “her” to “measure it.”
D’oh!
Now I’ve gone and Foleyed-up the thread! And just when everyone was getting sick of even clever jokes involving him.
But, ket;s just hope that everyone learns the right lesson from this little kerfluffle, and that Denny Hastert never allows anyone to photograph him in a bikini. Though that nudie photographer just might want to contact him–he’s certainly got the perky man-boobs to spare!

Left by Marq on October 7th, 2006

If you plan on a career in politics, don’t allow yourself to be photographed in a bikini.
It didn’t hurt Irene Sáez’s political career, but then she didn’t have to confront the pernicious power of the Gawker Media smear machine.

Left by J— on October 7th, 2006

Let’s not be too hard on Ashley. That piece about feminism and porn was a billion times better than anything V-Ben or Debbie Schussel have ever written in their respective pitiful lives. I realize that’s a pretty low bar, but I read a lot dumb ass conservatives, and Ashley beats most of them by miles.
As for Malkin, I can’t be as kind. I can see her being pissed for the photoshop. I can see her being pissed about ping-pong balls. But she must realize in her small mind that she brings a lot this upon herself with her own racism. There was a brief time when everyone, including Ronald Reagan, agreed that the Japanese internment was wrong.

Left by Mark S. on October 7th, 2006

Bill S: ‘this Wednesday (Oct. 11) is the birthday of the very demure and soft-spoken Anntichrist S. Coulter. So let me be the first to wish her a Happy Whatever-Her-Age-Is Birthday!’
she’ll be in hospital that day as well.

Left by rimone on October 7th, 2006

Oh, I didn’t know that.
That sucks.
Well, I hope she’ll be alright.

Left by Bill S on October 7th, 2006

Let’s face it, the only real victim in this sordid “scandal” is Meredith Chan, the woman whose lovely body was desecrated with a photoshopped Michelle head.

Left by The Kenosha Kid on October 7th, 2006

Kenosha,
thanks for posting that. Meredith really is the victim here. After all, someone photoshopped a fascist head on her body. Ugh.
As for Malkin, she’s ugly on the inside.

Left by Satan luvvs Repugs on October 8th, 2006

Take care of yourself, Annti. And happy birthday. We’ll be thinking about you.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 8th, 2006

Thank you, my darlings Bill, Rimone and D.
Yup, turning 36 right about the time that they’ll be wheeling me out of the O.R.
But hey, I’m finally getting my back fixed (AGAIN!) after a year-plus of fun & frivolity with that, so at least there’s SOME progress.
I’ll have guest-bloggers over at my place starting Tuesday evening, ’cause I sure as hell haven’t had a spare second to post worth a shit lately, so please be nice to them, would y’all?
Y’know, unless somebody posts something utterly inane or useless as tits on a boar hog — in which event, please feel free to give ‘em hell for me!
Love y’all.
Nighty-night.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on October 9th, 2006

On the rare occasions I see an old picture of myself in a bikini, I sigh, “Gosh, I looked GREAT! How could I ever have thought I didn’t?”
Fortunately, I have no plans to enter politics.
Cheers, Annti, and a belated happy BB-day (Birthday and Back)!

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on October 9th, 2006

Thanks, Mrs. Biscuitbarrel (I thought about abbreviating it to “Mrs. TB,” but y’know, that just left a nasty taste in my mouth… heh.) — but no, my darling, you are never belated, as the axe ain’t swingin’ ’til 7A on the 11th. Wheeeee.
I thought that after the last round of torture-approximating-pain-equal-to-that-of-organ-failure, that the shit was FIXED and PERMANENTLY.
Heh.
Showed me.
But what the hell… I needed a vacation anyway…

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on October 10th, 2006

So, let’s let Ashley tell us some of the sad lessons that she learned from this tragic affair, and listen while she talks back to the smear machine (which probably doesn’t read Townhall, but what the heck).
Uh, since we are the smear machine, I think it’s safe to say that we do read Townhall…

Left by Brad R. on October 10th, 2006

Dear recovering Annti, hope the post-op meds are at least adequate. “Mrs. B” is more than fine by me (“Mrs. T” is already taken as a brand-name drink mixer). Since D. Sidhe and I are also well-acquainted with pain-approaching-multiple-organ-failure, perhaps we should offer s.z. a joint guest post about bone-stupid responses to our dilemmas from medical personnel and others.
My all-time least favorite came from a psychologist (!) that my then-neurologist at Georgetown insisted that I see. Moron Ph.D. recommended that I read and “internalize” the works of Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor who essentially used his time in the camps as a transformative experience. I’d already read Frankl, an amazing spirit, but needless to say, not everyone had the same response to the Shoah…
I asked Dr. Moron if she were Jewish. She was not. I said that I found her suggestion deeply offensive on several levels, as though surviving Auschwitz were a surefire path to spiritual One-ness, a way to get ready for swimsuit season, while eliminating unnecessary hair, teeth, and family members.
You can tell that ten years later, this still makes me mad. You SAY you’ve got “incapacitating pain”? Here, read this book!

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on October 12th, 2006

Now I Am Become Photoshop, the Destroyer of, uh, Stuff

As Allah Pundit warns us, “I suppose you know that this means photoshop war.”

There are two ways we could play this, I guess. One: call a libel lawyer, point them to Alex Pareene’s earlier post about Michelle and ping-pong balls, and see if we can’t fashion a little “actual malice” from the pattern here. Or two: fire with fire. It’d be a shame to have to go that route, but this nonsense has to stop.

I promise you this, though. If it does come to that, the shocking! new! photos! we “discover” and circulate will be a lot more convincing than that amateur-hour crap currently running on Gawker Inc.

I guess we’re in for a Photoshop apocalypse.  But could AlPun come up with photos more convincing that Scott’s (see below)?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Posted by s.z. on Sunday, October 1st, 2006 at 5:02 am.

6 Responses to “Now I Am Become Photoshop, the Destroyer of, uh, Stuff”

Y’know, it’s not the stupidity or the basement-dwelling worldviews on parade here that are so objectionable, it’s that the particular law they’re so ignorant about can be found in New York Times v. Sullivan, which is not only a landmark First Amendment case anone who writes in public ought to be familiar with, but also a landmark in the history of that Dr. King they express so much admiration for anytime some right-wing racism is exposed.

Left by Doghouse Riley on October 1st, 2006

First Amendment? pffft! While we were (rightly) worried about torture and Habeas Corpus and Foley bending the pages, the Congress Gops have been sawing away on the 1st Amendment too.
They’re not worried.

Left by Kip W on October 1st, 2006

There are two ways we could play this, I guess. One: call a libel lawyer, point them to Alex Pareene’s earlier post about Michelle and ping-pong balls, and see if we can’t fashion a little “actual malice” from the pattern here.
Wow, does it hurt to be stupid like that? Maybe it itches, a little? Good grief.
Do they think that someone created that MM photoshop with the intent of actually fooling the world into thinking that she was a “Pundit Gone Wild?” That it would fool the average blog reader at all? That the general public’s reaction would be: “Oh my! Pretty MM is a girl gone wild?! Well! I won’t be reading HER blog anymore, and I’ll tell everyone I know to boycott her sponsors, too!”
and not: “Heh. Pretty funny, but what a bad photoshop job. I could so do better. But I like how little her head looks.”
Good thing they didn’t get a load of the YouTube Wars of 06, they’d accuse us of launching attacks on the US right from our Home Computers.

Left by maryc on October 1st, 2006

Well, all I can say is, they know their readership. If anybody believed the photoshop, it’d be them.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 1st, 2006

Jeez, this is an obvious photoshop. I only mention it because some comments sections were actually debating this nonsense. As for lawsuits, Doghouse is right, both with Sullivan (Malkin is definitely a public figure) and the Hustler case (because it’s obviously a parody).

Left by Mark S. on October 2nd, 2006

That picture looks a little bit like Angelfood McSpade, proportionwise. There’s someone out there who might find it hot.

Left by Righteous Bubba on October 2nd, 2006

Bikini: A Toll

In Day 2 of Bikinigate, Michelle Malkin continues to claim that that she has been the victim of a hoax perpetrated by rogue elements in the .jpg-modifying community. As you recall, a portrait has recently surfaced, purportedly showing the pundit modeling a two-piece bathing costume as she clutches a wall for support and wrestles unsuccessfully with a malfuctioning tanktop, her fixed, lustreless eyes indicating that she is still reeling from a partial head-shrinking sustained after an encounter with some Jivaro tribesman on Spring Break.

Debate in the blogsphere has been fierce, but a consensus has emerged that the image was clearly faked. That is, until further evidence appeared proving that Michelle was not the only right-wing opinionmonger present when the photo was taken. As you can see below, Paul Mirengoff and John Hinderaker of Powerlineblog were also on the guest list, which suggests that this was not, as Wonkette and Gawker originally reported, some Daytona Beach bacchanalia from the early 90s, but candid snaps from the Pajamamedia launch party.
Yes, the truth can be ugly.  But Photoshop doesn’t lie.

Posted by scott on Sunday, October 1st, 2006 at 3:36 am.

OK, that answers the long questioned, “Which Powerweenie has teh ‘man-tits’?” But it fails to address the equally enigmatic, “Which Powerpufflawyer has a mangina?” And, should you find out, please don’t tell us.

Left by Marq on October 1st, 2006

Damn! That woke me up!

Left by rraven on October 1st, 2006

Bikinigate

Hmmm, it seems that Michelle Malkin is fit to be tied (so to speak) because Wonkette/Gawker posted an (allegedly) Photoshopped pic of Michelle’s head wearing a bikinied body, and said that it was allegedly a photo of Michelle. Allegedly.

While the Gawker seems to find the whole contretemps rather amusing (as do I – but then, I’m going to hell), Ace of Spades is urging Michelle to sue, since it’s apparently illegal to jokingly state that an alleged photo of Michelle in a swimsuit was found on the Internet, and then to facetiously claim that said image proves that Michelle should stop obsessing about the perceived skankitude of other women.

So, I am taking a big risk by posting this clearly Photoshopped photo which allegedly depicts Ms. Malkin, and which further alleges that she wrote a book. And while this second claim sounds highly suspect to me, knowing what is alleged about husband Jesse’s contribution to her oeuvre, I’m still going to go out on a limb and say that if the photo is really of Michelle, it’s a damned shame.

Posted by s.z. on Friday, September 29th, 2006 at 7:34 pm.

19 Responses to "Bikinigate"

I looked at the photo and it’s so obviously a fake, even less convincing than that photo of LH Oswald posing with the JFK murder weapon where the shadows don’t quite line up right. But Ms. Malkin has sure devoted a lot of space to this tempest-in-a-teapot on her own website. Is it really that shameful to be accused of wearing a bikini? Does she secretly wish she looked that good?
And she’s thinking of suing. First she really ought to chit-chat with Jerry Falwell about his experience in court with Larry Flynt.

Left by trashfire on September 29th, 2006

Tort Reform!

Left by stupidbaby on September 29th, 2006

Fer cryin’ out loud, anybody who’s seen a photo of Malkin fully clothed could spot this photo as a fake. Unless she suddenly grew a foot taller (while her head also SHRANK) you’d have to be an idiot not to figure it out.
Which explains why she’s so upset about the picture, since idiots are her target audience, and they might wonder why she took a picture of herself in such an ungainly pose.

Left by Bill S on September 29th, 2006

Caption for the “fake” MM pic:
MM: “Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet steal an election is insignificant next to the power of the Farce!”
Admiral Motti: “Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcer’s ways, Lord Vader Michelle Malkin. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up those stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the rebels’ hidden fortr–”
[Michelle's eyes bug-out grotesquely, she gestures toward the Admiral, and Admiral Motti's airway mysteriously closes off. He is choking. Michelle breathes harder]
MM: “I find your lack of faith… disturbing.”
Grand Moff Tarkin: “Enough of this. VaderMichelle, release him!”
MM: “As you wish.”
[A gasping Admiral Motti collapses to the tabletop]
See? The cast for my remake of “Star Wars” is starting to fall into place. Now, if only I can get Midge Decter as teh Emperor!

Left by Marq on September 30th, 2006

Someone should paste her into the Stephen Colbert Greenscreen Challenge. Perhaps in that Princess Leia slavegirl outfit, with Rush Limbaugh as Jabba the Hut.

Left by D. Sidhe on September 30th, 2006

…the latter of which would require little, if any, makeup.

Left by Bill S on September 30th, 2006

Am I the only one who finds it deeply ironic that the Deuce of Clubs, er, Ace of Spades would refer to Ken Layne as a nobody?

Left by Clif on September 30th, 2006

Y’know, if some modern-day Ponce de Leon was searching for the Bottomless Font of Ignorance he’d be hosting his retirement party now.

Left by Doghouse Riley on September 30th, 2006

…yawn…. if you posted a burqaed head-to-toe Afghan peasant woman and clamed it was Malkin, she’s still find cause to sue..

Left by me on September 30th, 2006

Could be worse….
Michelle “Tubgirl” Malkin.

Left by Steve on September 30th, 2006

Too bad Malkin didn’t act earlier and contact Representative Foley before he – ahem -resigned. He did after all ” as chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus, introduce legislation in July to protect children from exploitation by adults over the Internet.” ( oh, irony, thy name is Republican). Since childhood is a state of mind, a clear exception can be made for that petulant, whining brat. Oh, but she still loses.

Left by tomg on September 30th, 2006

I think she is hot, is she single?

Left by Apwusteward on September 30th, 2006

She’d be a very pretty woman if she weren’t so ugly inside.

Left by John Clavis on September 30th, 2006

She said she’s never looked that good in a bikini. Her deposition will be interesting … and videotaped, no doubt.

Left by blogenfreude on September 30th, 2006

I’m waiting for someone to post a picture of Margaret Cho and say that it’s Malkin, just to get her really riled.

Left by darrelplant on September 30th, 2006

Aw, Darrel, why so much hate for Margaret? She does not deserve to be identified with the concentration-camp apologist.

Left by davey b. on September 30th, 2006

Michelle is so upset over that photo, she has posted it on her website again. And has insisted that anyone else who has posted it on their website must leave the incriminating evidence up. It’s caused her so much pain that she is going to keep this “controversy” alive as long as possible. Can’t you damn moonbats see how much this is hurting her?

Left by The Kenosha Kid on September 30th, 2006

Thugs like Michelle like to call out others who claim victim status for one affliction or another as whiners and worse. But when the bikini is on the other torso, well all that goes out the window.
Hypocrites, same as they ever were.

Left by pseudolus on September 30th, 2006

It’s funny, but I get really angry when I read Malkin, but not when I see her on FOX. She’s a laughable Shirley Temple tap dancing with Uncle Bill.

Left by Loren on October 1st, 2006

More Things You Probably Didn't Know

Amazing Fact #3: Darwin Was Responsible for the Holocaust  

Here’s part of the Christian World News report:

Christian experts will be unraveling the truth about Darwinism in a television special airing this weekend. “Darwin’s Deadly Legacy” will give a shocking look at the historical impact of the theory that has been in school books for generations.
[...]
One of the shocking connections the documentary presents is how natural selection, or “survival of the fittest,” was a “guiding idea” for Hitler and the Nazis.
Dr. D. James Kennedy, senior pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, simply put it, “No Darwin, no Hitler.”
Elaborating on that connection, Ham stated that Hitler used evolution to justify what he did with the Jews or “cleaning up the gene pool,” as the experts called it.
Denouncing Coral Ridge Ministries for making such a link, Anti-Defamation League called it “twisted.”

Yeah, but you have to be pretty twisted if you want to compete with Ann Coulter. (Ann, who also appears on the program, reportedly claims that Darwinism is popular “because it allows atheists not to have to explain why we’re here.” Of course, Ann knows that we are here to invade, kill, and convert; persecute Clintons; and defame liberals.)
But back to the news story:

The 60-minute special will feature Coulter; Richard Weikart, author of From Darwin to Hitler; Lee Strobel, author of The Case for a Creator; Jonathan Wells, author of Icons of Evolution; and other experts.

Yes, apparently Ann is an expert on both Christianity AND science, which is why she is scientifically qualified to trash the whole theory of evolution.

“We keep hearing that there are gaps in the theory [of evolution]. The whole theory is a gap,” she said.

And Ann has the Lexis-Nexis searches to prove her claims (they’re in her footnotes). 
Besides, Darwin was just so gosh-darned evil (you might remember him from that “Star Trek” episode where he murdered Abraham Lincoln with a spear) that we should reject any theory that he came up with, just on general principles. 

Amazing Fact #4: That Zoo Horse Wasn’t Really Named After Ann Coulter 

This item is for Michelle Malkin, who was very upset at the way a SF Chronicle reporter “slimed” Ann Coulter. (Michelle, actually Ann was slimy long before the Chronicle story came out.)

Anyway, Michelle found it deplorable that somebody would make fun of another person that way (and because she’s so fair and balanced, we’re sure she’ll devote equal time to the incident that TBogg mentioned).
But for now, we want to reassure her that despite what the Chronicle implied, that horse at the SF zoo wasn’t named for Ann.  Editor & Reporter has the story:

A posting at SFgate.com, the San Francisco Chronicle’s popular Web site, earlier this week suggested that a horse named Coulter at the city’s zoo was named after a certain well-known columnist.
After all, the zoo has an eagle, Stephen Jr., that supposedly honors Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert, and the horse, the writer claimed, bore a striking resemblance to Ann Coulter (skinny legs, blonde hair, etc.)
Well, it was a good rumor, anyway.
A letter to E&P by Alexander Winslow, public relations manager of the San Francisco Zoo, clears that up:
“Thank you for your interest in Coulter, the San Francisco Zoo’s American Cream draft horse. Coulter lives a happy life on the Family Farm at the San Francisco Zoo’s Children Zoo. He’s a gentle creature who loves people. He also loves Timothy hay, high-fiber pellets, apples, and carrots. He’s also quite smart.”

So, obviously he bears little resemblance to Ann, who doesn’t live a happy life, could never be described as gentle, hates people, hates all kinds of food (especially high-fiber pellets), and isn’t very smart.
We’re sure the Chronicle reporter regrets his error. 

Amazing Fact #5: Mark Steyn Has Finally Realized He’s Not an American

Or maybe his publisher did.  In any case, Mark’s upcoming book (which has been upcoming for over two years now) is no longer called America Alone: Our Country’s Future as a Lone Warrior, but instead America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It.  

(Here’s a tip for Regnery: your new title is better than America Alone: Mark Steyn is Really a Canadian, but not as good America Alone: It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and Mark Steyn Feels Fine.)

Anyway, here’s some scary and/or hilarious info from Regnery about Mark’s rather stale tome:

From the Inside Flap
It’s the end of the world as we know it… Someday soon, you might wake up to the call to prayer from a muezzin. Europeans already are.
And liberals will still tell you that “diversity is our strength”—while Talibanic enforcers cruise Greenwich Village burning books and barber shops, the Supreme Court decides sharia law doesn’t violate the “separation of church and state,” and the Hollywood Left decides to give up on gay rights in favor of the much safer charms of polygamy.

And Kevin Costner will deliver the mail and drink his own urine, the Morlocks will try to eat your flesh, all while Robot Monsters try to mate with your nubile blonde daughter.  Take that, liberals!

If you think this can’t happen, you haven’t been paying attention, as the hilarious, provocative, and brilliant Mark Steyn—the most popular conservative columnist in the English-speaking world—shows to devastating effect in this, his first and eagerly awaited new book on American and global politics.

Yeah, it’s been so eagerly awaited that its publication date has been pushed back nineteen months.
And if Steyn is the most popular conservative columnist in the English-speaking world, then the terrorists have already won, and we might as well let the robots turn us all into air slaves.

The future, as Steyn shows, belongs to the fecund and the confident. And the Islamists are both, while the West—wedded to a multiculturalism that undercuts its own confidence, a welfare state that nudges it toward sloth and self-indulgence, and a childlessness that consigns it to oblivion—is looking ever more like the ruins of a civilization.

Maybe the cats will be our heirs.  After all, they’re very fecund (ask me about their fecundity!), and more confident than even Steyn.  Plus, they are way more attractive than he is, and rarely write annoying columns.

Europe, laments Steyn, is almost certainly a goner. The future, if the West has one, belongs to America alone—with maybe its cousins in brave Australia.

Sorry, Canada.  I guess you were consigned to the rubbish heap of history along with Europe because of your damned diversity (you should have known better than to let the Quebecois speak French).

But America can survive, prosper, and defend its freedom only if it continues to believe in itself, in the sturdier virtues of self-reliance (not government), in the centrality of family, and in the conviction that our country really is the world’s last best hope.

Keep watching the Steyns, America!  And remember, you are way better than everybody else, especially those crappy Canadians!!

Posted by s.z. on Sunday, August 27th, 2006 at 2:32 am.

“Europe, laments Steyn, is almost certainly a goner. The future, if the West has one, belongs to America alone—with maybe its cousins in brave Australia.”
–Regenery Publishing
“When my family arrived in this country four months ago, we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets.Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel-balancing centers. Where else but in America, or possibly Canada, could our family find such opportunity?”
– Trong Van Din, Simpsons episode “Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington”

Left by pastor maker on August 27th, 2006

Hey, if you think we’re sharing the future with the fucking Seppos, you’ve got another think coming, cobber!

Left by RobW on August 27th, 2006

That Darwin prog sounds like it was fun. Apparently it includes material from human genome project director Francis Collins, who has since claimed he was duped into appearing, and is

“absolutely appalled by what Coral Ridge Ministries is doing. I had NO knowledge that Coral Ridge Ministries was planning a TV special on Darwin and Hitler, and I find the thesis of Dr. Kennedy’s program utterly misguided and inflammatory.”

Left by Bartholomew on August 27th, 2006

It’s always seemed to me that the folks who feel we were (some of us) created in God’s Image are the ones who most likely think it would be a good idea to eliminate the ones who apparently weren’t.
And Mark’s right. Because, you know, the White House has already started eliminating the wall between Church and State, and I imagine they won’t balk when it becomes Mosque and State. I mean, unless they’re, you know, racist bigots who only want *their* religion endorsed by the state.
And all of us liberals sure are tolerant of “God Hates Fags” demonstrations, so you can assume we will wholeheartedly embrace roving imams set on closing down gay bookstores.
But for some reason my mind keeps circling the “Secular liberals want to kill us all with diversity” theme back on the “Hitler’s attempts at destroying everyone he didn’t like were motivated by secular liberal ideas like evolution” theme, and I start to wonder if maybe these guys are, you know, a little tiny bit illogical.

Left by D. Sidhe on August 27th, 2006

A tiny bit? You’re generous, D. Sidhe. If these fuckwits were created in God’s image, He must be using a fun-house mirror. Or heavy drugs.
Oh, and is “air slave” anything like “air guitar”? ‘Cause I could probably live with that if.

Left by Bill S on August 27th, 2006

‘if that’s the case’ I meant to write, but erased all but the ‘if’. Me so genuis am.

Left by Bill S on August 27th, 2006

Kennedy is completely right. Darwin’s describing how natural selection operates on a wide array of biological diversity is obviously responsible for Hitler’s desire to narrow the gene pool through artificial selection. That is why former President Gerald Ford was able to sue Isaac Newton for making him fall down those stairs.

Left by Boo on August 27th, 2006

Oh, my favorite phrase is “sturdier virtues of self-reliance,” coming from people who live off of family money and/or right-wing slush funds. If they actually had to rely on their own wonderful selves, they’d be living in cardboard boxes and ranting on street corners.

Left by CaseyL on August 27th, 2006

…a welfare state that nudges it toward sloth and self-indulgence…
And it is not, I repeat not, self-indulgent to write a rabid, uninformed screed about how everyone who doesn’t share your exact worldview is destroying western civilization.
But America can survive, prosper, and defend its freedom only if it continues to believe in itself, in the sturdier virtues of self-reliance (not government)
We must defend our nation ourselves with deer rifles and cherry bombs, instead of relying on government institutions like the military.
(Here’s a tip for Regnery: your new title is better than America Alone: Mark Steyn is Really a Canadian, but not as good America Alone: It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and Mark Steyn Feels Fine.)
I suggest I, Fucknozzle.

Left by Sour Kraut on August 27th, 2006

The future, as Steyn shows, belongs to the fecund and the confident.
Doctor Steynlove, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

Left by Queen Liz 2 on August 27th, 2006

Damn cookies! That wasn’t Her Royal Highness making the last comment.

Left by Mark S. on August 27th, 2006

That is why former President Gerald Ford was able to sue Isaac Newton for making him fall down those stairs.
Still laughing over this.

Left by D. Sidhe on August 27th, 2006

Western Civilization is dying, says Mark Steyn! And what does he prescribe that we do about this? Do we join the military and fight? Do we try to become energy-independent? Do we reach out to our allies? No way! We “believe.” As long as we believe in the proper things, apparently history will take care of itself. Sheer wingnut brilliance!
I must admit that I’m not very optimistic for a Western Civilization where anybody respects someone like Mark Steyn.

Left by sophronia on August 27th, 2006

Ann SHOULD add more fiber to her diet-maybe then she wouldn’t be so full of shit.

Left by Bill S on August 27th, 2006

Oh, but you missed the best part!
When the good people at Pandagon covered Kennedy’s “documentary”, they included the following Coulter quote:
“I never knew about the link between Darwin and Hitler until after reading Richard Weikart’s book. [Hitler] was applying Darwinism. He thought the Aryans were the fittest and he was just hurrying natural selection along.”
I was stunned that even Coulter could be that historically illiterate.

Left by The Devil's Advocate on August 27th, 2006

OTOH, Coulter is a male… and so is Coulter!

Left by Marq on August 27th, 2006

Amazing Fact #4: That Zoo Horse Wasn’t Really Named After Ann Coulter
well, they didn’t want to confuse the poor horse by just naming it’s nether regions
but not as good America Alone: It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and Mark Steyn Feels Fine.)
shouldn’t that be “America Alone: It’s the End of the World as We Know It, And I Feel Steyn.”

Left by preznit giv me turkee on August 27th, 2006

What a perfect measure of thirty years of (the latest political incarnation of ) Creation science–they’re reduced to playing the Hitler card and to having Coulter as their celebrity pitchman. Thirty years and they couldn’t even convince Dennis Miller. Thirty years, untold millions poured into the Discovery Institute and its predecessors, not a single paper offered for peer-review, let alone accepted, not even a proposal for future research. Thirty years. Thirty years ago the first build-it-yourself home computer hit the market from Heathkit. VHS was introduced, a year after the Sony Betamax. Less than 20% of the country was wired for cable teevee. Nobody had a cordless phone and few people had home answering machines. If you tore your ACL you didn’t play football again, and you limped through life with a 12″ surgical scar. The Human Genome Project would not begin for another decade.
Quite a proud record of accomplishment.

Left by Doghouse Riley on August 27th, 2006

Steyn is a canadian name?
http://www.suntimes.com/output/steyn/cst-edt-steyn27.html
Several years ago i was confronted by candian customs with 12 inch plexiglass tube found in my car trunk. I told them it was a penis pump and they let me go.
We are probably all safer now.

Left by tune on August 28th, 2006

Y’know, nothing in the letter from the zoo guy that that you quoted disproves the statement that the horse was named after Ann Coulter. All Malkin is really saying in quoting it is that they supposedly are nothing alike. And how did Malkin let this get by?…: She interprets a statement that the horse is a nice horsey as meaning that he has nothing in common with Ann. Clearly her subconscious was working the keyboard when she wrote that.
Of course, the rest of that column might bear out the headline, but I can’t stand to go over there. Maybe later, after my three-martini lunch.

Left by Lucy on August 28th, 2006

Only three? You’re being generous, Lucy.

Left by Bill S on August 28th, 2006

*hic* I’d go read Malkin now but my fingershh don’t sheem to be working right…

Left by Lucy on August 28th, 2006

Three observations in no particular order:
1. Who is the most fecund, confident man in the country? WARREN JEFFS! Leave it to all of you to apply Steyn’s theory to this data and compute the result.
2. Will the TV special show how prior to Darwin all of northern Europe was peaceful and Jew-hating didn’t exist? Hitler used Darwin to give fake legitimacy to something he was going to do anyway, akin to the way Bartholomew (#3 above) says Francis Collins was used. Hitler needed someone or something external to vent his and his country’s impotent rage on, and the Jews were handy, Darwin or no Darwin. (See Alice Miller, “For Your Own Good.”) Torquemada did the same with the Jews in Spain a few centuries earlier; Pilgrims used witches, real and imaginary; Caesar used the Celts a millenium or so before that. Etc., etc., etc.
These wingnuts use liberals and Muslims for the same purpose in their silly little war of words. It’s a story as old as all mankind, and maybe in a way it’s proof that–sadly–we haven’t evolved one bit after all.
3. Both Coulters produce the same thing all day: Happy Horseshit.

Left by trashfire on August 28th, 2006

“the hilarious, provocative, and brilliant Mark Steyn”
I’ll give you the hilarious, though of the unintentional variety.

Left by Gus on August 28th, 2006

It is curious that the increasingly frequent screeds about Darwin’s connection to the holocaust always fail to mention that the Nazi’s ideas on race were influenced by the American eugenics movement which was led by the Harriman family.
Prescott Bush’s bestest buddies, to which the Bush family owes their subsequent wealth and status, were the Harriman brothers, Averell and Bunny. The Brown Brothers Harriman Consortium, to which all three belonged, was intimately involved in financing the Reich and complicit with the holocaust, but somehow the right wingers who bang on about Darwin manage never to mention that connection.

Left by bidziliba on August 28th, 2006

“My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded only by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them…. When I go out in the morning and see these men standing in their queues and look into their pinched faces, then I believe I would be no Christian, but a very devil if I felt no pity for them, if I did not, as did our Lord two thousand years ago, turn against those by whom to-day this poor people is plundered and exploited.”
- Adolf Hitler, 12 April 1922
“The Catholic Church considered the Jews pestilent for fifteen hundred years, put them in ghettos, etc, because it recognized the Jews for what they were”…. I recognize the representatives of this race as pestilent for the state and for the church and perhaps I am thereby doing Christianity a great service by pushing them out of schools and public functions.”
- Adolf Hitler, 26 April 1933
Damn that Darwin, anyway!
while Talibanic enforcers cruise Greenwich Village
And if you’ve never been cruised by a Talibanic enforcer, you’ve never really been cruised.

Left by Beth on August 28th, 2006

Europe, laments Steyn, is almost certainly a goner. The future, if the West has one, belongs to America alone—with maybe its cousins in brave Australia.
Riiiiiight.
Hey, how’s the US dollar done against the Euro since it was introduced?

Left by Phoenician in a time of Romans on September 2nd, 2006