The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Hmmm, it seems that Michelle Malkin is fit to be tied (so to speak) because Wonkette/Gawker posted an (allegedly) Photoshopped pic of Michelle’s head wearing a bikinied body, and said that it was allegedly a photo of Michelle. Allegedly.

While the Gawker seems to find the whole contretemps rather amusing (as do I – but then, I’m going to hell), Ace of Spades is urging Michelle to sue, since it’s apparently illegal to jokingly state that an alleged photo of Michelle in a swimsuit was found on the Internet, and then to facetiously claim that said image proves that Michelle should stop obsessing about the perceived skankitude of other women.

So, I am taking a big risk by posting this clearly Photoshopped photo which allegedly depicts Ms. Malkin, and which further alleges that she wrote a book. And while this second claim sounds highly suspect to me, knowing what is alleged about husband Jesse’s contribution to her oeuvre, I’m still going to go out on a limb and say that if the photo is really of Michelle, it’s a damned shame.
I looked at the photo and it’s so obviously a fake, even less convincing than that photo of LH Oswald posing with the JFK murder weapon where the shadows don’t quite line up right. But Ms. Malkin has sure devoted a lot of space to this tempest-in-a-teapot on her own website. Is it really that shameful to be accused of wearing a bikini? Does she secretly wish she looked that good?
And she’s thinking of suing. First she really ought to chit-chat with Jerry Falwell about his experience in court with Larry Flynt.
Tort Reform!
Fer cryin’ out loud, anybody who’s seen a photo of Malkin fully clothed could spot this photo as a fake. Unless she suddenly grew a foot taller (while her head also SHRANK) you’d have to be an idiot not to figure it out.
Which explains why she’s so upset about the picture, since idiots are her target audience, and they might wonder why she took a picture of herself in such an ungainly pose.
Caption for the “fake” MM pic:
MM: “Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet steal an election is insignificant next to the power of the Farce!”
Admiral Motti: “Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcer’s ways, Lord Vader Michelle Malkin. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up those stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the rebels’ hidden fortr–”
[Michelle's eyes bug-out grotesquely, she gestures toward the Admiral, and Admiral Motti's airway mysteriously closes off. He is choking. Michelle breathes harder]
MM: “I find your lack of faith… disturbing.
Grand Moff Tarkin: “Enough of this. VaderMichelle, release him!”
MM: “As you wish.”
[A gasping Admiral Motti collapses to the tabletop]
See? The cast for my remake of “Star Wars” is starting to fall into place. Now, if only I can get Midge Decter as teh Emperor!
Someone should paste her into the Stephen Colbert Greenscreen Challenge. Perhaps in that Princess Leia slavegirl outfit, with Rush Limbaugh as Jabba the Hut.
…the latter of which would require little, if any, makeup.
Am I the only one who finds it deeply ironic that the Deuce of Clubs, er, Ace of Spades would refer to Ken Layne as a nobody?
Y’know, if some modern-day Ponce de Leon was searching for the Bottomless Font of Ignorance he’d be hosting his retirement party now.
…yawn…. if you posted a burqaed head-to-toe Afghan peasant woman and clamed it was Malkin, she’s still find cause to sue..
Could be worse….
Michelle “Tubgirl” Malkin.
Too bad Malkin didn’t act earlier and contact Representative Foley before he – ahem -resigned. He did after all ” as chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus, introduce legislation in July to protect children from exploitation by adults over the Internet.” ( oh, irony, thy name is Republican). Since childhood is a state of mind, a clear exception can be made for that petulant, whining brat. Oh, but she still loses.
I think she is hot, is she single?
She’d be a very pretty woman if she weren’t so ugly inside.
She said she’s never looked that good in a bikini. Her deposition will be interesting … and videotaped, no doubt.
I’m waiting for someone to post a picture of Margaret Cho and say that it’s Malkin, just to get her really riled.
Aw, Darrel, why so much hate for Margaret? She does not deserve to be identified with the concentration-camp apologist.
Michelle is so upset over that photo, she has posted it on her website again. And has insisted that anyone else who has posted it on their website must leave the incriminating evidence up. It’s caused her so much pain that she is going to keep this “controversy” alive as long as possible. Can’t you damn moonbats see how much this is hurting her?
Thugs like Michelle like to call out others who claim victim status for one affliction or another as whiners and worse. But when the bikini is on the other torso, well all that goes out the window.
Hypocrites, same as they ever were.
It’s funny, but I get really angry when I read Malkin, but not when I see her on FOX. She’s a laughable Shirley Temple tap dancing with Uncle Bill.

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