The World O' Crap Archive

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Thursday, February 3, 2011

So, It's Really MY Fault

What would a nasty sex scandal be without Rush “LImp Dick” Limbaugh’s input? 
 Are Liberals Truly Offended by Foley?
I have to admit, my friends, I’m a little confused about certain aspects of the situation here involving Mark Foley and the page. [...]
Now, the liberals also tell us that sex and gender issues are just lifestyles, not choices. Maybe choices in the case of sex changes like the chopadickoffame and the adadictomy, but these are just lifestyle things, gender and so forth, we’re not to condemn. Any two people can love each other, any four people can love each other. You can define your family however you want, including your animal or animals. This we have been taught by the tolerant left among us. Kids can have sex, too. Not with somebody just in their age-group, alternative lifestyles, but not if the person is sexually active but younger, apparently. So we find here that there are limits. There are things that will offend liberals. Or are there? Because I continue to ask, are they really offended by this? How many of them wish they were in on the action?
Well, Rush certainly has my number — I’m not really offended that Foley sent sexually explicit IMs to a teen for whom he was an authority figure, nor am I actually outraged because the House leadership did nothing to protect the children for whom they had responsibility.  No, I’m just jealous because I didn’t get some of the action myself — I was really hoping to have any orgy with a few underage pages of both sexes, several animals, and a few creepy middle-aged congressmen, and I’m taking out my frustration and disappointment on Foley and Hastert.

18 Responses to “So, It’s Really MY Fault”

You can define your family however you want, including your animal or animals.
You can? Cool! I am hereby officially appointing Hobbes, the Maine Coon, as my grandmother, to replace the one that passed away a couple of months ago. I had no idea this was even legal! To think of all the time I wasted grieving, when all I had to do was just get used to Grandma making me fresh hairballs instead of brownies. Thanks, Rush!
Boy, I hope Rush Lamebrain wasn’t smoking when he said that, because there were so many strawmen parading around in that paragraph it’d be a serious fire hazard.
I hardly know where to begin, but maybe I should start by asking, “What the fuck do transexuals have to do with Mark Foley?” It just gets stupider and stupider from that point on. Why does this guy still have a career? And why can’t he become addicted to some drug that would render him permanently mute?
*sigh* You know, I’m actually beginning to get bored with the so-called conservatives trotting out that “gays = bestiality & pedophilia” bullshit. Really, right-wing dimbulbs, it’s getting real old. Get some new material, or get off the goddamned stage!
S.Z. is back, and she ain’t takin’ NO SHIT!!!
Loved it. ‘Specially the righteously-pissed barely-restrained rage. Very cool.
“Snark” isn’t even vaguely big enough to encapsulate it.
Glad to see you up & around again, I know that I’m tardy, but I hope that I’m not quite to fucktard level yet.
And here’s my theory, clipped & pasted from my comment elsewhere, about why teh republicunts (publicly) hate teh gays:
Republicunts hate gays because they AREN’T pedophiles, because it throws the whole raison d’etre of the G.O.P. “Party Boys” contingent into a major tizzy.
See, we’ve got this rampant problem of disappearin’ white kids in this country (well, there can’t be any missing BLACK or FURRIN kids in Murka, or you’da heard about ‘em on THA NEWS!!!) — and if they’re going to be the party of “Truth,” “Justice,” and “The Murkin Way,” then the G.O.P.’s got to look like they’re DOING SOMETHING ABOUT all of these missing/raped/murdered kids.
(Note: I didn’t say that they had to actually DO SOMETHING, I said that they have to LOOK like they’re ‘doing something’, as they generally operate on all topics.)
ZZzzssssSO… They need a BOOGEY-MAN. They need an easily-identified Willie Horton-type perp here. They need the last minority (aside from Southern & fat people, of course, but those two are sancrosanct comedic material, just ask Lorne Michaels) of which it is still safe to make fun, in these here United States. Who’s the last “minority group” who can still be publicly demonized amongst large gatherings of mighty-white folks, generally waving bibles?
Nope, not gynecologists who don’t “practice their love for women” — it’s GAY FELLERS!!!!
(The gay “chicks” have already been safely marginalized as a fallacy of porn fantasies.)
So, there’s your X-Files-type solution to this quizzical situation.
Wanna keep the breeding, bible-banging, fear-addicted, mouth-breathing sheeple feeling “safe” from the ever-present encroaching threat from the INSIDE, the one thing that can even get past Dear Leader, oh he of the mighty search parties? Wanna distract the sheeple from the paganistic paens to Pan and Caligula that go on every night in the Pages’ Lounge?
There ya go. Now wash your hands of any concern and rest easy, dear ones, for Dear Fuhr– er, LEADER has it all under control. He’ll be issuin’ huntin’ licenses for those buggerin’ bastards (i.e., those NOT on Capitol Hill) by Xmas. Bag a gay, quite a day! Bag a pair, they’ll fix your hair! (Y’know, before you hang ‘em by the hocks over the gut-bucket at the huntin’ camp and bleed those suckers out.)
Yeahhh, I said it.
(And yes, the tag line of “bag a f*g” did occur to me, but not in a nice way.)
Well, gosh. Rush is also the guy who thinks the torture that went on (and probably still is) in Abu Ghraib is basically just frat hijinks, performed by sexually assertive liberated women.
I think, over the years, that we’ve all been exposed to way too much of Rush’s creepy libido. The inside of his head must be like a slaughterhouse full of Ann Coulters in Ilsa the She Wolf costumes hacking the heads off of fluffy baby bunnies with rusty cleavers and feeding them to giant, slime-encrusted centipedes. Only considerably less pleasant.
even though rush limpdick is a drug addict and pedophile, i hate him anyway. strange, huh?
What a yutz. It’s amazing the amount of crap he comes up with. And folks actually listen to what he says… please tell me it’s satire. Otherwise, there’s a whole segment of our population that seriously deranged.
I think that Rush is in Foley’s district (West Palm Beach.) wonder if they’ve ever done the Dominican Republic VirginBennie junket together
Remember what they keep telling us? “He’s entertainment”. The pandering in that diatribe is beyond appalling. You can practically visualize the basest fears of the mouth-breathers coming out of their skin and crawling around the room, screaming “save us from teh gayz”. And the real issue, a rightie perv who got caught, gets lost in the miasma of their tiny, tiny little minds. It’s eleven o’clock in the morning and I already need a drink.
You’re just jealous because Rush can belong to NAMBLA and you can’t. Just accept it.
Kids can have sex, too. Not with somebody just in their age-group, alternative lifestyles, but not if the person is sexually active but younger, apparently.
What the hell is he talking about? Is he talking about kids in that second sentence or did he just suddenly switch to talking about adults? Does he know that Foley is an adult?
“How many of them wish they were in on the action?”
I believe he is actually one of the “them”. I recall a recent incident with him at an airport involving Viagra and his return from The Dominican Prepubic .
As Margaret Cho once said: “Why does Rush Limbaugh say this stuff? Because he’s still high. Rush did so many drugs that Courtney Love said ‘You know, I can’t, I gotta work in the morning.’”
Ben Stein said something similar. The conservatives spend a massive chunk of their waking hour turning gays (like me) into their punching bags and whipping boys, then when they find one in their midst, suddenly they’re all a-full o’ the tolerance and why you hating, liberals? Give me a fucking break. I have yet to hear a widespread condemnation of the gay pedophile (because they are two ENTIRELY SEPARATE THINGS) that was coddled and enabled by the Republican leadership. What Foley did was unethical and illegal. He preyed on children that saw him as an authority figure. It’s not because he’s gay, it’s not because he has “addiction problems.” The man is 52, the boy is 16. This is not an “alternative lifestyle” thing. This is a sexual predator asking “Timmy, have you ever been a congressional page before?”
Some people will blame liberals for anything, and the knots of logic they tie would have amazed even R.D. Laing. (
Foley himself doesn’t blame liberals, he blames alcohol. While we all know that alcohol may cause a model businessman to make a pass at the redhead from accounting at the Christmas party and get fired (if he’s gay, maybe at a male redhead from accounting), Foley’s saying that alcohol doesn’t just lower inhibitions, it’s actually some Jekyll & Hyde potion that turned an upstanding Congressman with healthy desires into a twisted predator. Three days in dry-out and he’ll be back to normal.
This is extreme bullshit, and Anheuser Busch, Coors, and every distillery and bar owner in America should sue his ass for disparaging their fine products. (Not to mention suits by the pages’ parents.) You wanna see some huge punitive damage awards? Foley might end up being real sorry he (a) didn’t work harder on tort “reform” and (b) voted for bankruptcy “reform.”
You left out the bestest part of Limpballs’ diatribe. The part where he speculates that the pages were bribed by liberals to set Foley up. That they led him on, etc. Entrapment!
Remember, the page we know about is a Louisiana Republican. The way kids get to be pages is by recommendations from their Congresscritters. Now, who do you suppose gets those recommendations from Congresscritters? That’s right. Kids whose parents donate lots of moola to the party.
So, knock yerself out, Rush. Keep right on defaming Young Republican pages from Republican Pioneer families. Those moms and dads will be lovin’ on ya big time! And they’ll just keep those checks rolling into Republican coffers, and sending their kids to be pages and to work on Republican campaigns! Sure they will. Asshole.
PS The Missouri fundies I have talked to are NOT buying ANY of the crap they are hearing from Rush, Dobson, Hastert, or any one else. They’re not buying any spin, period. They are seriously pissed off.
So, knock yerself out, Rush. Keep right on defaming Young Republican pages from Republican Pioneer families.
Wow, I completely neglected that these “studly” 16-year-olds were, in all likelihood, Hitler Youth Young Republicans. Strange. You’d think that, with their general avoidance of physical labor of any type, that these Cheetos-snarfing little puds would not so much be “hot” as they’d be a nearly motionless herd of mini-Doughy Pantloads.
And, yes, with that comment, I have reached my Godwin-limit for the week. If I mention herr Schicklegruber or his party-hardy goosestepping thugs again before next week, I have to give Wisconsin’s James Sensenbrenner, jr. a sponge bath and leeching. Did I mention that Sensenbrenner would only be wearing a thong? So, I’m really motivated to be good… for once.
The same might apply for Rush with regards to The Clenis.
That could’ve been him in Monica’s kneepads.

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