The World O' Crap Archive

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Bill O'Reilly: Uncensored Ned Lamot Upskirt Pics

According to Bill (Old Blood ‘n’ Gutless) O’Reilly in a piece on, Joe Lieberman was killed in Iraq (I’m guessing by his own troops).  Still, he went down guns a’blazin’, just like you always knew Vic Morrow would in the last episode of Combat!, and in the tradition of other martyred American military heroes (“Stonewall” Jackson, “Tailgunner Joe” McCarthy) Bill bestows a salty sobriquet on the luckless dogface.  And thus, will he ever be linked in name and fame with the foreign fields in which he fell; let us never forget the legend of “Baghdad Joe” Lieberman.

By the way, judging by Bill’s lede, they’ve rebranded the war again – Iraq is now “Saddamville.”  Either they’re hoping to confuse potential voters who were just trying to Tivo Smallville, or Bill can’t shake that hip Sixties lingo that defined his youth, and we should just be grateful that he isn’t calling Iraq “kooksville,” and prancing around the room in a diaphanous peignoir, proclaiming the war “soooo creamy!

Of course, none of this may be about the war at all.  As Bill notes, Lieberman lost the Connecticut primary to “a rich guy” and you know how Bill hates the rich and famous with their fancy airs and landau roofs and indoor plumbing.  Regardless, Bill does have a solution to our quagmire in the Middle East:
The United States needs a new strategy to deal with this ominous threat. Slugging it out in Iraq may be necessary, but there might be another way. President Bush needs to level with the American people and begin putting this country on a war footing. That means a limited draft and a major commitment to defense.
Bill doesn’t doesn’t go into specifics, but presumably a “limited draft” would be limited to those poor, duskier hunks of cannon fodder who would just be stealing our hubcaps if they weren’t on the banks of the Euphrates defending our right to stereotype them as petty criminals.  Additionally, such a conscription would make sensible exceptions for healthy, age-appropriate males from Long Island who preferred to play college football in Poughkeepsie rather than expose their pale,  rage-mottled flesh to the harsh direct sunlight of Southeast Asia.

You may have difficulty grasping just how the addition of countless ill-trained, poorly motivated conscripts to the tinderbox of Iraq will stop the slaughter of our well-trained professional troops, but Bill, to his credit, understands this, and forgives you:
I don’t believe Ned Lamont and those who voted for him understand any of this. Geo-politics is complicated, it requires a sophisticated knowledge of how the world works 
The point is, with Joe Lieberman now lying dead beneath the sun-baked wastes of Mesopotamia, the spot where he fell marked only by his inverted rifle and a helmet that teeters on the stock in the dusty, moaning wind, there is no one left to stand in the breech.
Ned Lamont does not frighten the Iranians.
This has been scientifically proven!  On the other hand, photos of Bill’s dewlap have been shown to cause measurable discomfort in Uzbeks.
He and his fellow travelers will not defend you and your family effectively.
Unlike Joe Lieberman, who died for you on the field of honor, his last words, “Kiss me, Bush,” still echoing like cannonshot.

13 Responses to “Bill O’Reilly: Uncensored Ned Lamont Upskirt Pics!”

The name “Baghdad Joe” reminds me too much of “Baghdad Bob”: former Information Minister Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf. Does O’Rielly know about that negative conatation?
a limited draft…
Funny Bill should mention this, especially since Congressional Democrats who brought it up were engaging in “scare tactics.” The Bush administration, as well as the entire Bill O’Reilly end of the political spectrum, understood all along that a draft would have functioned as a plebiscite on the war and they would have lost, big time, even at the height of Saddamomania. And funny that Bill can present this now as a new solution, as if a draft and massive taxation for defense just weren’t thought of before, rather than rejected for political expedience.

And so we haven’t really spoken of a draft much, not that Mr. O’Reilly’s position would be informed by public debate, but “limited”? Domestic politics require a sophisticated view of the world, too, unless it’s just your job to spew. Any conscription act would be met immediately by 1) a court challenge to the exclusion of women, or the exclusion of women from combat roles, or, conversely, their inclusion; 2) a legal challenge to the exclusion of homosexuals from military service and a concomitant rise in the ratio of homosexuality among draft-aged citizens from roughly 10 to roughly 50 per cent; 3) court challenges over conscientious objection, and Buddhism becoming the fastest-growing religion in American; and 4) a remarkable number of new Canadians.
Holy Shit. Olbermann and Media Matters have finally driven him crazy. I mean, I kind of feel sorry for him and all, but it is kind of entertaining to watch the absolute freaking crazy seeping out his ears.
to watch the absolute freaking crazy seeping out his ears.
considering the source I thought it was tahini
I think O’Reilly’s conducting an experiment. He wants to see if he can shrink his audience down to the point that Grover Norquist can drown it in the bathtub.

That a plutocrat like Ned Lamont represents the far left is one of the more hilarious lies to come out of Rove’s office in some time. Lieberman has spent his entire career whoring for the insurance industry and Likkud. If he wanted to continue servicing them, it ought to have dawned on him that fellating Fox News personnel on camera was not the brightest PR move. It takes a special sort of democrat to obtain an endorsement from Anne Coulter.

I’ve long had the suspicion that the DNC / DLC types were GOP infiltrators bent on the party’s destruction. Lieberman is their poster boy.
On the other hand, photos of Bill’s dewlap have been shown to cause measurable discomfort in Uzbeks.

Yes, but Uzbeks are the weak link in the great chain of Socialism. Don’t give them money or matches.
Geo-politics is complicated, it requires a sophisticated knowledge of how the world works
blah blah blah. Sophisticated knowledge is emphatically not something I associate with Bill O’Reilly.
You’re right, Hysterical Woman, Baghdad Joe seems more an insult than praise.
Geo-politics is complicated
A Geo? For Bill? I coulda sworn he was a Pinto guy based on the rear-end explosions that he passes off as informed discourse.
unless it’s just your job to spew.
Bingo! And what glorious wingnut tahini it is! Got nan?
points for landau roofs!
Bye, bye.
Bill O’Reilly writes from Dementiaville: Geo-politics is complicated, it requires a sophisticated knowledge of how the world works
I thought they were all Muslims. Russia is big, and so is China.
“measureable discomfort in Uzbeks” is priceless.
The next stage, according to my PDF, can only be mental duress and abdominal distress among Kalmucks.

Won’t somebody think about the Central Asian children?

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