The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy Birthday, D. Sidhe!

I hope that your special day isn’t too crappy, and that all goes well with the kitty, the neurologist, and the birthday festivities.

And speaking of anniversaries, It was just one year ago yesteray that Barbara Bush the Elder gave us this gracious pronouncement about Hurricane Katrina evacuees:
“And so many of the people in the arena here, you
know, were underprivileged anyway, so this — this (she
chuckled slightly) is working very well for them.”
We need more of that kind of compassion these days!

And D., since it sounds like your’re having a trying day, I thought that a photo of Bar might cheer you up (you know, more than a photo of Ann Coulter would). And since we’re coming up with books for son George to read on his next vacation, I went the extra mile and found a book for George that also features a photo of Mother Bush for you. And the good news is that it’s being remaindered everywhere, so George should be able to pick up a copy pretty cheaply!
Other - The First Mom: Wit and Wisdom of Barbara Bush
The First Mom: Wit and Wisdom of Barbara Bush
by Barbara Bush, Bill Adler (Editor)From the Publisher

A collection of stories, advice, and self-deprecating wit from former first lady and current “first mom” Barbara Bush.
Over the years Barbara Bush’s wit and wisdom have amused, enlightened, and touched even the most jaded among us-Republicans and Democrats alike.
And D., you’re one of the most jaded among us Democrats alike, so this sounds like the book for you. Happy birthday!

39 Responses to “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, D. SIDHE!”

How could you make fun of a sweet old grandma? She might kill you!
Uh…I do believe you have been hit (on the last 3 threads at least) by the fuckwit white supremicist spammer that’s been showing up on a lot of the blogs lately. I would add this nephi asshat to your spam filter.
Happy Birthdy, D. Sidhe! I hope all goes well for you and your feline.
Gentlewoman,Tis Ironic me thinks O_o
Expansive vocabulary you have there,very classy ! Did Daddy pay your way through college for that ? TISK TISK …The fair mind boggles I tell’ya !
Wow. Vocabulary, indeed. I must say, your ability to cut and paste is impressive, though you might pay some attention to what happens to the line returns. They turn into a bunch of what looks like, but isn’t, blank verse. Here are some other things to work on:
Commas take a space afterwards. They are used to separate clauses, not incomplete sentences. Speaking of spaces, don’t put spaces before punctuation like exclamation points and question marks.
‘Tis takes an apostrophe before, because it’s a contraction of “it is.” Does that emoticon represent pupils of two different sizes? If so, get help: it’s an indicator of organic brain damage.
“TISK TISK” is rather feeble. It’s a corruption of “tsk tsk,” which was intended to represent a clucking sound of the tongue, not the words, “tisk tisk.” Only Popeye says “tisk tisk.” You aren’t Popeye.
The expression is not “the fair mind boggles,” but “the mind fair boggles.” Try and read more carefully, so you can remember things like that. If you want to put “I tell ya” after it, separate the clauses with a comma (a comma with a space after it). “Tell’ya” is right out. Just put a space between the words and leave out the apostrophe.
Also, try and reduce the reliance on URLs. You have way too many. Maybe you could also work on the hate thing, too. In fact, never mind the URLs, and never mind those punctuation pointers, just try not to hate so much.
ps: Happy birthday, D. Sidhe!
D. Sidhe, we all chipped in and got you a white supremacist for your birthday! But it turned out that he was defective (he just kept repeating the same boring stuff over and over), so we had to take him back. We’ll try to get you a better troll next year.
s.z., you have my permission to delete any of the comments I posted in response to his. Calling someone a “racist fuckwit” tends to lose something when taken out of context.
Welp. After looking at that pic of Bar, I Just Gotta Ask (Again, I’m sure):
Are we completely sure that she isn’t really Dick Cheney in drag?
Happy Birthday D. Sidhe! Remember, if you read the First Mom’s book, be sure to wear gloves – preferably white rubber so you can look elegant while protecting your hands from acid seepage.
D.Sidhe, Lá breithe mhaith agat! – and O yes indeed, I still want to Marry You. But perhaps the best birthday present would be my solemn promise to cease and desist with the marriage proposals, mk?
But please allow me to gently snorgle your beloved kitty, long-distance.
Happy birthday, D Sidhe
Happy birthday, D Sidhe
Happy birthday, D Siiiiiiiiiiiiidhe
Happy birthday, D Sidhe
As far as the book goes, I think part of Dubya’s problem already is how much he listened to her.

MaryC, what a horrifying thought. Thank you for the picture, though. I daresay Bar beats Ann Coulter. Brad’s birthday is the tenth or eleventh, may I suggest a nice Pat Boone photo?

The vet says kitty looks okay, and keep doing what we’re doing and gave us more expensive canned food. So that’s okay, and I’ll make her put up with various cuddles from everyone. The neurologist gave me a very old drug treatment thing that nobody really uses anymore because it almost never works, but says it most likely won’t make me hallucinate. That’s either a pro or a con, depending on how boring reality is. If it doesn’t work, she will add to the growing list of letters my insurance company has saying they ought to cover treatments at the university’s headache clinic.

And, hey, you, racist fuckwit. Stop bogarting my birthday thread. My non-white partner and I both think you’re a fuckwit.

For the rest of you, I have a fifty dollar box of birthday present chocolates, and I’ll share. Larkspur, as an Official Blog Stalker, I think I’m required to take proposals from others with good humor, but I do anyway. (My online me gets them a lot. My offline me, not so much. That’s probably a sign.)

My other birthday present, just to present my nerd credentials, was an ordered-from-Japan entirely-documented-in-kanji virtual aquarium program containing Burgess Shale critters. Whee, anomalocaris *and* opabinia!
Left by D. Sidhe on September 5th, 2006
Happy Birthday, D. Sidhe!
And the photo of Bar is like totally jading me off, s.z.
Nephi writes: Gentlewoman,Tis Ironic me thinks O_o
Wow, is that Latin?
Well, she’s really old, but I don’t think she’s the FIRST mom.
And D. Sidhe, although I wished you a Happy Birthday in a previous comments thread, I neglected to include one here.
(Where are my manners? Oh yeah distracted by troll who had way too much time on his hands.) So:
Oh, and if my memory serves correctly, s.z.’s birthday is next week. The 12th, I believe.
And happy belated birthday to Beginning To Wonder, who cunningly didn’t mention it Sunday so as to not be gifted with a picture of Rudy Giuliani in drag, or whatever else S.Z. can drag up to horrify us all.
happy BD D.
Nephi writes: Gentlewoman,Tis Ironic me thinks O_o
Wow, is that Latin?
nah, just a poor attempt at a palindrome
It must be karma, D. — I just did a critter-related post myself, and then came straight over here.
Both of my furry chirrens (and the lesbian attack hamster) wish your furry chirrens all the best in health and happiness, and the same for you!
And if I can ever get Preznit and Bill to stop stalking the guy in the rat costume at Chuck E. Cheese’s, we had gone in together on a great gift for you, but they were supposed to wrap it. See, you get the first 14 CDs free, and then you only have to buy three more over the next year… It was all Preznit’s idea. Vosburg chickened out and Bill has far too much good taste. (Snrfgfx! Riiiiightttt… heh.)
Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy joy joy joyyyyyyyyyy!!!
P.S. S.Z., darling, you know that I adore you unconditionally, but the picture of the Quaker Oats Bitch just about made me choke to death on a Bugle.
Pretty damned skeery for 2:30 in the mornin’.
GAAHH!! A she-beast from hell!11!
Um, not you, Sidhe, of course (and happy birfday 2 U, plus many happy returns). Not even Annti. Or even the troll, who I hadn’t seen yet and have no idea if it’s a “he” or a “she” (“it” will probably do). I refer, naturally, to the beast what spawned Doofus McDingleberry, Bowl-Movement-In-Chief. Again, GAAAHH!
And what’s this? s.z.’s and Brad R.’s birfdaze are within a couple of days of each other? The mind boggles. I certainly hope Brad’s birfday isn’t on the 11th, as that day has unfortunate connotations. OTOH, if it is, it might improve my mood on that day, since it’s usually a pretty bad day for me under normal circumstances.
Again, Happy Birthing Day to the fabulous D. Sidhe!
Marq, s.z. deleted the posted comments from said troll. He was not only unbelievably long winded, but had posted what appeared to be weblinks to a dozen or more hate groups. (I said “Appeared to be” because I didn’t click on any of the links.) He also listed some reccomended books, including “The Turner Diaries”, and in at least one posted comment listed everyone he believed should be killed. Charming.
But the lead-in to that shit was incredibly fucking boring and looooooooong, which was enough to justify deleting them, even if he wasn’t a racist fuckwit, as I found myself calling him, over and over. At one point, he responed accusing me of being “stressed”, and wonder why the “Marital aids” didn’t “eliviate” the tension. I think he meant to say “alleviate” (at first I read the misspelling as “elevate”,)
So in addition to everything else, he was a moron.
er…”recommended”. (Damn! I had a feeling I spelled that wrong.)
For quite some time now, I have enjoyed the humor, charm and wit of one D. Sidhe. I see D. around on a few blogs and am always glad
for the occasion. Happy Birthday, D.
Thanks, DS! ‘Twas cunning, wasn’t it? I don’t think s.z. could have come up with anything as spectacular as our visiting troll, so I think it’s just as well that mine passed without incident. I am perfectly happy to piggy back on your celebration. Cheers!
Why would I waste my beautiful mind on D. Sidhe?
It’s the writing, stupid.
Happy B-day, and don’t ever change, babe.
Hehehe… you said Bar beats Ann Coulter. Now I’d pay BIG bucks to see that!
heydave: Same here.
Barbara Bush’s wit and wisdom have amused
No kidding. I was rolling on the floor at the very idea that anyone would consider that old bag either witty or wise.
When did Quaker Oats redesign its packaging?
Unfortunately for me, heydave, that conjures up some kind of S&M thing involving Barbara and Ann dressed in…oh, I can’t even finish that sentence. There could be vomiting.
Hmmm… Quelled that nausea yet, Bill?
Okay, here goes:
(With all due homage to Bill Hicks’ amazing dark poetry, “Rush Limbaugh Is A Scat-Muncher”…)
St. Ann Of The Codpiece: Dressed all in cheap, K-Mart-quality pleather, pointy head to gnarly toes, with 6-inch stilletto dominatrix thigh-boots. Weilding a bullwhip in one hand and an enema bag in the other.
Bar: Down on all fours, a ball-gag in her cavernous mouth, a dog collar where once gluttonous pearls draped, in an “adult baby” (see eBay) costume, including the adult diaper and oversized “nu-nu” (pacifier) and bonnet.
Karl Rove in nothing but a naugahyde thong and pleather liederhosen, trying to get his little piggly-wiggly dick semi-erect while “fluffing” to a centerfold of Rush Limbaugh being reamed by JimmyJeff GuckertGannon.
Need I fill in the action, or can you take it from here, Bill?
You know what’s disturbing (besides Annti’s fantasy life)? If I look at that graphic of Barbarian Bush’s little book and squint my eyes so that the letters in the title blur and seemingly flow together… the title appears to be “Hot Mon,”
I just threw-up in my mouth… a lot.
“Hot Mom.”
I think I blacked out after the first couple sentences, AC. A defense mechanism I’m sure.
I didn’t realize you made a typo, Marq-I thought you were pretending to be Jamaican. :)
After that post by Annti, I have to admit I couldn’t see most of what anyone else had written. Hysterical blindness, perhaps.
it’s the anti-MILF!
That would be a MIRFSIT.
(Let’s see if anyone guesses what that means. It’s doesn’t contain any swear words, is all I’ll say.)
Happy Birthday D. Sidhe, Happy Birthday to you!
Heyyyyy, I wanted to give D. something memorable for her birthday… Did I hit the mark?
Oh, and D., darlin’, as a little birthday lagniappe, I posted some lovely little pictures on my blog, that should surely entertain yer brains out… Just don’t go over there if you’ve just eaten, k?
Love-love, smooch-smooch!

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