Amazing Fact # 1: The English language is doomed, DOOMED!
Yes, English is on its death bed, and it’s all your fault, for not instituting some sort of federal language police to force everyone to speak English in their homes. Michael “Nepotism ‘R Us” Reagan explains it all in ”English: The Vanishing Language.”
All across the U.S., hordes of immigrants — legal and illegal — are chattering away in their native language and have no intention of learning English — the all-but-official language of the United States where they now live.
The bastards! Imagine that, they’re chattering away, and not in the all-but-official language of this country! (BTW, if only we could have made English our official language, and Republican our official political party, then maybe we could have prevented this situation)
Man, things were sure better in the old days, when foreigners didn’t dare defy the “age-old custom of immigrants to our shores,” and everyone was forced to learn English or die!
It was a case of sink or swim. If you couldn’t speak English you couldn’t get by, go to school, get a job, or become a citizen and vote.
Yeah, back then there were no Little Italys, Chinatowns, Greek sections, etc. And we liked it that way!
But now for the scientific proof of Michael’s claim about how printing ballots in other languages caused the extinction of English:
Nowadays we kowtow to demands that everything from ballots to official documents be presented in many native languages as well as in English.The result? According to Census Bureau statistics reported in HUMAN EVENTS:In California, 42.3 percent of the people do not speak English at home. More than 28 percent speak Spanish instead.
So, how would Ronald Reagan handle this crisis? I’m guessing he’d use some sort of anti-Spanish laser missile technology. And that’s what the situation requires, because our good friend English is on his very death bed – he was murdered, and somebody is responsible!
Tragically, the answer to the question of English surviving the immigrant invasion is probably “no.” The English language is on its death bed, a victim of the enablers.
Personally, I don’t know how long I can hold out, so if you check back and this blog is written in Sanskrit or something, I hope you’ll avenge it.
Amazing Fact #2: There is Now an Annie Jacobsen Protocol
The Moonie Times’ own air-terror girl reporter, Audrey Hudson, has the story:
A dozen passengers who exhibited suspicious behavior aboard a U.S. airline flight to India were arrested by Dutch officials yesterday after the American pilot requested a military escort and emergency landing in Amsterdam.
The passengers apparently carried a suspicious number of cell phones, used them suspiciously, spoke a suspicious language, and had a suspicious color of skin.
Officials in Europe declined to disclose the nationalities or the arrest charges, but passengers said the 12 persons taken off the plane in handcuffs appeared to be Middle Eastern.
Shows you why you shouldn’t listen to passengers. For, as we now know, the suspicious men were Indian, Dutch authorities found no evidence they posed a terrorist threat, and their government has lodged a “strong protest” at the way the Netherlands handled the incident.
But let’s go back to Audrey, who has Annie herself on the line:
No protocol was in place to divert a plane two years ago when passengers suspected a terrorist dry-run aboard Northwest Flight 327 from Detroit to Los Angeles, said Annie Jacobsen, who recounted the events and a government cover-up in her book “Terror in the Skies.”“I know firsthand from the homeland security inspectors who visited me in my kitchen, there was no protocol to divert a flight based on suspicious activity. Now, obviously, there is and perhaps Northwest is leading the pack,” Mrs. Jacobsen said.
I think we can all rest a little easier in the knowledge that there is now a protocol in place to protect us from swarthy men who glare at white women.
Mrs. Jacobsen and other passengers on Flight 327 said a group of men claiming to be Syrian musicians carried suspicious, odd-shaped packages, including a McDonald’s bag, cameras and cell phones, into the bathroom.
Amazing sub-fact #1: McDonald’s bags are now considered not only suspicious, but also odd-shaped. The company should really hire a PR-firm to fight this kind of discriminiation.
Passengers suspected they were building a bomb.
Annie and her husband were passengers, so I guess this statement is true. But what Audrey fails to report is that these passengers were WRONG, and NOTHING HAPPENED on this flight.
You know, if I were a Moonie, I’d complain to the Master about how my flower-selling money was being mispent.