The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Buy That Man a Subscription to RenewAmerica!

Speaking of Bill O’Reilly, on Friday I caught part of his TV show (which is, as the announcer reminds us at frequent intervals, “The most powerful name in cable news for old farts who hate everything,” or something like that). 

In a promo for the upcoming segment, Bill promised us the most maddeningly stupid radio bit ever, so naturally I thought it was going to be an encore of his “shoot him right between the heads” piece. But no, it was a clip from Lynn Samuels of Sirius Radio talking about the timing of the London terrorist arrests.

Anyway, Bill’s liberal guests, Ellis Hennican and Laura Scwartz, agreed with Bill that nobody listens to Samuels anyway. But despite that, Bill was quick to warn his listeners that while she has no audience, her ideas are picked up by Bill’s archenemies, the bloggers – and apparently people do listen to them, which is why bill had to devote eight minutes of his program to bringing Samuels down.

Guest Scwarz also agreed with Bill that people like Samuels are hurting the Democratic Party by being crazy. However, Hennican said that there are whackos on both sides of the political spectrum, and mentioned the wingnuts at NewsMax and Free Republic. Bill dismissed them as not being the same thing as far-left wackos (apparently because their liberal, as opposed to conservative). 

Then Hennican brought up Michael Savage, and scored a palpable hit. Although bleeding profusely from the hole in his argument, Bill sputtered something about how the loony Savage wasn’t the same thing as a crazy like Samuels, since Savage hadn’t said anything  about the British terrorist plot.
We go to News Hounds for the next part of the story:
Hennican suggested that they both denounce the extemists on both sides but O’Reilly was compelled to continue his left wing media shtick This time it was the San Francisco Chronicle for commenting on Bush’ vacation during a crisis. O’Reilly seemed to think that was awful calling it a ” cheap shot”
Hennican caught him by surprise bringing up Cheney’s comment that the voters for Ned Lamont were helping Al Qaeda. O’Reilly tried to defend Cheney saying it was just politics.
Bill also said that it was just Cheney’s opinion, apparently feeling that it’s okay for the Vice President of the United States to publicly accuse the Democratic voters of Connecticut of treason for not voting for his choice of candidate, if that’s his honest belief.  However, Bill rejected Hennican’s suggestion that the SF Chronicle’s “cheap shot” was just their opinion of Bush’s overstated claims about his involvement in thwarting the British plot.

Bill kept muttering that anything brought up by his guests “wasn’t the same thing,” in that it didn’t support his claim, which seems to boil down to “Democrats who refuse to be Republicans are hurting the Democratic Party.”

It all ended with Bill reiterating his premise that left-wing extremists hurt the Democratic party, but that right-wing extremists don’t hurt the Republican Party “because there are too few of them.”

Yes, that’s really what he said.

I’d suggest that we give Bill a copy of the Internet for his birthday, but he seems well aware of its contents — and not just the “left-wing extremist blogger” portion consisting of MediaMatters and DailyKos, since he frequently uses stories that originated on the wingnutosphere.  

So, I guess all we can do is to encourage Bill to drop the “fair and balanced” pretense, and just come out and admit that he’s a wholly owned subsidy of the RNC. That way, instead of sputtering at his liberal guests when they refuse to follow his script, he could have them arrested and sent to Gitmo. It would do wonders for his blood pressure.

8 Responses to “Buy That Man A Subscription to RenewAmerica!”

Bill’s liberal guests [...] agreed with Bill that nobody listens to Samuels anyway.
I finally understand what the deal is with Stephen Colbert’s “feud” with small time radio guy “Russ Lieber” (aka David Cross).
I never paid enough attention to O’Liely enough to pick up that he actually did use his million watt worldwide megaphone to decry the opinions of radio hosts who probably have to sell insurance or wait tables on the side to make ends meet.
Oh yeah, he’s a big man – a BIG man.
“Bill kept muttering that anything brought up by his guests ‘wasn’t the same thing,’”
Now that’s solid crazy. He’s starting to sound like H Ross Perot.
And the first paragraph after the last blockquote is repeated in the second paragraph, S.Z. I assume you were called away to kittychores while writing.
I think one can pretty much assume that any mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are caused by cats.
And the first paragraph after the last blockquote is repeated in the second paragraph, S.Z. I assume you were called away to kittychores while writing.
No, actually this was caused by the Word Press software, which is the WORST blogging software in the universe! It will, at its pleasure, duplicate random pieces of prose, as well as remove or add line spacing, indentions, bolding, etc. And every time you edit it, it adds two more glitches. It’s going to be the death of me!
But that said, I have had many interesting and frustrating cat adventures lately. Remind me to tell you the one about the mouse. (It ended with me having to chase Flossie for 10 minutes and then stick my hand in her mouth to remove a possibly alive mouse.)
s.z., I’m disappointed you missed this opportunity:
He’s the kind of man who gives presidential coins to grieving families in order to show them how much he sympathizes with their loss!
TRANSLATION: Here’s a quarter. Call someone who gives a shit.
And now I’m disappointed I posted this in the wrong thread!
Don’t sweat it, actor. Happens to all of us.
And S.Z., I salute your pro-mouse compassion.
Of course, the secret behind Word Press’s evil is that it was coded entirely by cats.

No comments:

Post a Comment