The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, January 31, 2011

It's National 'Plug Your Book Day'!

A day almost as anticipated as “Anything Can Happen Day” or “Make-Out With Darlene Behind the Barn Day.”
In any case, federal law requires that we mention our book today, and attempt to persuade you to buy a copy, since the American economy depends on it.  [UPDATE: If you are going to help your country by making this all-important purchase, please do it through the link at the right side of this post.  Like Marq said, that way we get an extra dime, which will mean an extra portion of kitty gruel for the adorable orphan kittens.]
So, here’s our three-pronged business strategy:

1.  Write a book
2.  ???

However, while Scott is in Hawaii, I thought I’d try to refine the plan a little. So, here’s my improved version of the strategy:

Phase 1: Write a book
Phase 2: Get people talking about it
Phase 3: Challenge John Podhoretz to a duel
Phase 4: PROFIT!
Now let the underwear-stealing commence!


Better Living Through Bad Movies.  Done! (We’re moving right along, aren’t we?)


If you have read the book, we would encourage you to post your thoughts about it here. We would also humbly ask that you consider posting an review. (And hey, even if you haven’t read the book, if you’ve glanced at any of our “Subliminal Cinema” pieces, then you are qualified to review our book — you are also qualified to get a free small popcorn when you buy a colossal-size drink.

Anyway, to show how much we want your business, I’ll eat a bug for every ten comments posted here, and for each review posted at Amazon! Or rather, I will read and summarize one of these columns:
HUMAN EVENTS ONLINE: “Civilians Should Pay a Price for Supporting Terrorism,” by John Hawkins.
‘If you kill enough of them, they stop fighting’

HUMAN EVENTS ONLINE: “Broken Icon of Feminist Invincibility,” by Janice Shaw Crouse
WorldNetDaily: “‘Peace’ activists gone wild.”     Michelle Malkin shares examples of anti-war types embracing violence
WorldNetDaily: “What are Darwinists so afraid of?”
Exclusive: Jonathan Witt cheers new Kansas science standards allowing criticism

Reason: “The virtues of riches”
Megan McArdle praises book arguing more wealth makes us more moral

Wall Street Journal: “Why does the president call the secretary of state ‘Condi’? And what exactly is his philosophy?” — Peggy Noonan
Frontpage News: “Kos, Hezbollah, and Israel,” By Dean Barnett
How much of a liability is the liberal blogosphere for the Democrats?

Townhall:  “The Bible Told Them So,” by Mike S. Adams
So, you can see where eating the bug would have been the easy way out.

Along with comments on the book, you can vote here for the columns you would like to inflict on me. And if you do an Amazon review, you can even force me to read something of your own choice choosing – just post a comment here advising everyone of your review, and of the work you would like summarized.


I’m sure you all remember how Bill O’Reilly tried to make his viewers (who are elderly and easily-confused, after all) think that unless he sold more copies of Who’s Looking Out for You than what Hillary Clinton sold of her autobiography, then the liberals would win the pennant, the Bible would be banned, and you would be forced to marry a gay household pet.

And while Hillary actually sold a lot more books that Bill, (forcing Bill to publicly admit that market forces had concluded that she was a better human being than he was), we thought the contest idea was a great one (especially because there is no evidence that Hillary knew anything about it). So, we’re following Bill’s example, and we’re going to challenge John Podhoretz to a book-off. The rules are simple: if, at 11:55 P.M. today, July 27, the Amazon sales ranking of Better Living Through Bad Movies is higher than that of Can She Be Stopped: Hillary Clinton Will Be the Next President of the United States Unless Bill O’Reilly Can Sell More Books Than She Does, then John must stop trading on the Podhoretz name and get a real job, preferably in the fast food industry. However, if John sells more Amazon copies of his book than we sell of ours, we will never make fun of him again. EVER!

Now, we realize that this contest is something of a David/Goliath affair, because John’s book was published by a major publisher, which presumably used its marketing department to promote it. His book was reviewed widely, and John was invited to discuss it on many television and radio programs. Plus, John has wingnut name recognition, and those movie star looks.

On the other hand, our book is a rag-tag self-published tome from the wrong side of the tracks, written by two misfits who are only one day away from retirement.  So, this does seem kind of unfair – but hey, we are up to a challenge.

(BTW, currently Better Living Through Bad Movies is #146,200, while Can She Be Stopped… is #324,411 – so, you might not have to do anything at all to ensure that Podhoretz gets the trouncing he deserves. But if a couple of you bought a copy of our book, then our victory would be assured, unless his mother happens to buy a couple of copies of John’s book today.  So, maybe three of you will have to purchase Better Living. Don’t force us to never mock J-Pod again!)


With each book we sell, we are .25 closer to buying the kitten food that little Bix and Kit need so desperately. (Lupita and Valeria are no longer looking up at us with their big, orphan eyes and meowing plaintively for food, because they had to be sold into prostitution – John Stossel told us it was either that, or they had to sell their organs, because Santa Claus doesn’t give dollies to poor girls.)

So, yeah, we are eagerly awaiting the “profits” phase.

And the part where J-Pod gets the job at Jiffy Lube.

18 Responses to “It’s National ‘Plug Your Book Day’!”

you forgot to mention if, when we buy your book, we buy it through the link on the main page you get an additional kickback from Amazon!!1!! So you wind up with .35¢ instead of a kwarter! Please update the blog entry with this exceedingly earth-shattering information (before midnight!).
glad i read marq’s post before i went directly to amazon.
I recommended your book to someone recently who was looking for something to read on a long flight. Do I get points for that??? (I’m always trying to cheat, aren’t I?)
Here’s my problem: It’s the end of the month. I’m already overdrawn at the bank. So I can’t buy your book until TUESDAY! I’ll go post a review, though. I guess I can do THAT much!
OK, I reviewed it.
Is Janice’s mop broken again?
As for myself, I giddily vow to never again sleep with anyone who doesn’t own your book, even if this means I have to carry extra copies around with me and hand them over as the clothes come off. (In that I am a slut, this could be a good deal for you.)
I can make this giddy vow because I spent all night awake trying to determine how much of my now-dead hard drive had been backed up with my auto-backup-program. Turns out, damned near all of it. So while I have to buy a new drive, I don’t have to kill anyone! I’m very pleased, and a tad punchy from spending all night screaming. And so are the people who live with me.
Right now, you could probably talk *me* into eating a bug or reviewing John Stossel’s column. But if you promise not to, and you give me a couple days to look into hard drive replacement, I still know a couple people who need copies. FTR, I love that you’re outselling JPod, even though I’m aware that amazon rankings are weird.
I like checking out the “Customers who bought this book also bought…” list: Glenn Reynolds, Tom Tomorrow, and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It all makes sense.
I’m a wonderful human being, although I more often feel like a human doing… in any case, I have purchased the book and keep it in the stack near my bed for late fun. And I mean reading, you dirty people. Anyway, since I am also philanthropic, I will purchase a copy for BeginningToWonder if s.z. can figure out how to arrange that. Everyone should be jaded on bad movies, I say!
By the way, wouldn’t it be cool to eat a bug that looked like Stossel?
I think it would be disgusting to eat ANYTHING that looked like Stossel.
Better just smoosh it.
Oh, Heydave you ARE a wonderful human being, doing, going, done! I am flabbergasted. Here’s my suggestion for how to arrange it: Buy a copy and give it to some needy soul near you, and tell ‘em you did it for me! I am fully committed to buying several copies (because I’ve got birthdays and Christmas coming up) as soon as my paycheck hits the bank. Meanwhile, here’s a big cyberkiss to you (mwah!) along with some of Mrs. TB’s cake.
Mine’s the 11th comment. Can you review my article now? I eagerly await your insights!
I loves me some Mike Adams. Soo..
+1. For great justice.
It’s so sad that you guys make so little off this sucker, especially considering it’s pretty pricey. Not so pricey that I didn’t immediately run out and buy it! In fact I just posted my 5-stay review. The part I left off for fear of getting my review tossed — it fucking rocks! Liberal politics meets making fun of bad movies. Kick ass!
TP in UT
Hey, I’m always happy to help out! ;)
I’m plugging my book, in honor of Plug Your Book day.
I haven’t written it yet, but you can read it at
It’s all there. I just have to rearrange some of it.
OK, a bit of it.
OK, most of it.
OK, ALL of it! You happy now????
I just bought the book and posted a 5 star review without ever reading the book or even receiving my copy. It’s that good.
Oh and I want to see you do the “Broken Icon of Feminist Invincibility” column and eat a deep-fried grub. For Jesus.
Will give read for posterity’s sake. But I want to claim here that I’m almost royalty when it comes to writing bad books.

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