The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Meaning of Mel

Ever since I saw Bill O’Reilly’s take on the Mel Gibson affair (my recap: ”Yes, Dennis Prager, Mel said some horrible things about Jews, but like I said at the time, he wasn’t an anti-Semite when he made The Passion of the Christ. Actually, it was the Jews who made him an anti-Semite by picking on his movie. Now, Dennis, do you want my girl Sugar Tits to get you some more coffee?”), I wondered what the wingnut spin on the affair would be. Now I need wonder no more, thanks to Townhall and Renew America.

As a convenience to you, here’s a handy summary of the major trends in Gibson talking points:First, from Townhall, here’s Cal Thomas with “Mel’s night out.”

Summary: Sure, what Mel said was horrible, but what’s even horribler is that all of Hollywood is prejudiced against Jews – and by Jews, I mean Christians.

Also absent from the discussion about Gibson is his membership in a profession that has a long history of bigotry against certain faiths, political persuasions and individuals who go against the political tide of most in the Hollywood film community. Jewish writers like Michael Medved and Donald Feder have chronicled numerous instances of anti-Christian bias and bigotry in Hollywood. “The Da Vinci Code,” “Saved” and “Priest” are only three contemporary examples.
Priest, the only movie Cal discusses in this column, came out in 1994, which could only be considered “contemporary” to a guy like Cal, who is about 200 years old.  And the film was made in England, not Hollywood. But that doesn’t negate Cal’s point, which is that Hollywood is constantly making movies that question Catholicism – and so it’s no wonder that Mel accused the Jews of starting all the world’s wars.

Now, here’s Mona Charen’s effort, “Mad Mel?

Summary: Sure, what Mel said was awful, but what’s awfuler is that Hollywood is full of liberals – and liberals are all anti-Semites.  In fact, the Jewish ones are the worst of all!

Consider one of the nominees for an Academy Award last year: “Paradise Now.” I didn’t see it but understand from reviews that it treats with sympathy the grooming of two Palestinian suicide bombers who blow themselves up killing innocent Israelis. I did see Steven Spielberg’s “Munich.” With Jews like this, who needs Mel Gibson? [...]
The fact that many Jews work in Hollywood is irrelevant. No, it’s worse than that. Jewish influence in Hollywood is bad for the Jews.
Jews should be blackballed from Hollywood – for the sake of the Jews!  Then maybe film makers will produce some movies that Mona can watch before she talks about them.

Also from Townhall, it’s “The new anti-Semitism” by Linda Chavez.

Summary: Sure, what Mel said was bad and stuff, but if you object to the Bush administration’s war policies, then you are a worse anti-Semite than Hitler.

Gibson’s claim that Jews have caused all the world’s wars is only a less subtle and more grandiose version of the current mantra that “neoconservatives” have led us into war in Iraq. Make no mistake, most critics on both the left and right who inveigh against “neoconservatives” really mean “the Jews” or “Jewish influence” has caused this war. Old-fashioned anti-Semitism used to blame “Jewish bankers” for controlling the world, now, apparently, it’s Jewish intellectuals who pull the strings. The Rothschilds have been replaced as villains by Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, William Kristol and Charles Krauthammer.
And make no mistake: if you call neoconservative Douglas Feith “the f—ing stupidest guy on the face of the earth,” you must be a member of the KKK.

(BTW, I find it hard to believe that anyone has accused Jewish “intellectuals” and Fox News regulars Kristol and Krauthammer of controlling the world. It would be like claiming that the silly and light weight Linda Chavez is qualified to be Secretary of Labor for the United States of America!)

Now, from RenewAmerica, it’s “Where is the passion of compassion?” by Jonathan Flora, an “award-winning producer” who also makes commercials.

Summary: Sure, Mel’s actions are inexcusable, but we should excuse them anyway, because like the Good Book says, we are all sinners, drunk drivers, and anti-Semites. Anyway, we owe Mel big time for making The Passion of the Christ, so we should forgive him of anything, up to and including sacrificing babies to Ba’al.

There is no excuse for Mel Gibson’s actions this past weekend. But, where is the compassion to understand how this man got to the place in his battle with the ugly disease of alcoholism that a situation like this could occur? Where did we lose the knowledge that ALL men are not without sin, even those prideful and self-declared “sinless” stone-throwers that have so quickly stepped out from the dark shadows to once again attack. As angry as they make me, their colors have been known and shown for years.
One of the first to throw a stone that has been in his arsenal bag locked and loaded since The Passion Of The Christ is Abraham Foxman, the head of the Anti-Defamation League
Yeah! Mel just said what he did because he’s a helpless victim of demon rum. The people we should really be angry at are the bastards at the ADL who act like there’s something wrong with being an anti-Semite!

Now, here’s Catholic lawyer Michael J. Gaynor, with “Abe Foxman did not miss the second opportunity.”

Summary:  What Mel said wasn’t all that bad. Anyway, even if he did make some intemperate remarks, it was the Jews’ fault for killing our Lord.

Abraham Foxman, the National Director of the Anti-Defamation League, not only missed an opportunity to take the high road when Mel Gibson initially apologized for his drunken behavior, but misused it to attack the integrity of “The Passion of the Christ” (a magnificent film Mr. Gibson made and Mr. Foxman hated and erroneously predicted would have dire anti-Semitic consequences).
To be sure, Mr. Foxman was not alone in meanly magnifying the unfortunate outburst, attributing to it significance it did not merit and assailing a contrite, obviously alcohol-plagued Mr. Gibson. [For the record, Mr. Foxman was not present when Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, so the adulteress was not stoned to death in accordance with Jewish law.]
That’s another strike against Foxman: skipping class when Jesus taught that lesson about not throwing the first stone!

Then Michael cites the words of chaplains, women with broken shift keys, and message board loonies to prove that Foxman is the one who should have apologized to Gibson.
At forum, [a post discussing the deficiencies in Mel’s first apology] elicited these criticisms:
[…] “The fact is that anything Mel would have done would not be good enough in the Jewish community because he chose to do a movie that ACCURATELY portrays the death of Christ and antagonizes the Jewish leaders of His day. Well the Truth hurts sometimes. DEAL WITH IT!!”
And then there’s the fact that the Jews were terrible to Mel while he was making the movie, thus forcing him to make threats against the liver of Frank Rich, and also the liver of Frank Rich’s dog.
A California chaplain appreciated my analysis and articulated some extenuating circumstances that Mr. Gibson did not invoke (and I did not invoke on his behalf):
“I can understand Mel’s outburst while under the influence….the Jews were terrible to him when he was making The Passion…slandering him, attacking him and lying about him. […]
Yeah, even Jesus would have made anti-Jewish slurs after getting arrested for drunk driving if the Jews had criticized Jesus’ movie about Jesus.

Lastly, here’s “Love letters from the left,” by young Christian Hartsock.

Summary:  Forget Mel Gibson – the REAL Christian martyr around here is Christian, who received some uncomplimentary email about his goofy columns.
Since the birth of my website,, scores of indignant liberal snobs desperate for attention have been expressing their disapproval in vicious, hateful e-mails replete with name-calling and ad hominem attacks (in other words: manifestations of liberal ingenuity).
Liberals think that they are showing true decency and class despite the filthy, vile things they say to people they disagree with on the basis that they are saying them in the interest of gracing misled conservatives with the truth. This makes about as much sense as a sewer rat claiming to have decency and class on the basis of the fact that it won’t show its belly button on national television.
The modest sewer rat is probably one of the ones that escaped from the oven that you threw it in, after it invaded the apartment you shared with a liberal roommate.  (Yeah, Christian seems to have a thing for sewer rats.  And also lesbian fisting.)

But now let’s allow Christian to discuss the two kinds of liberals: the stupid, lazy, flaky ones, and the spastic, lesbian fisting, fetal underdog-murdering ones.
Of course, I have been accused in the past of lumping all “liberals” together and making sweeping blanket statements about them. But here is where I’d like to take an opportunity to make it clear that I believe there are two totally separate breeds of “liberals.” There are, for instance, what I like to call the Barbara Streisand liberals [...] These are harmless liberals who just want to live in trees, eat granola, read poems by the Bubble Lady on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley and be left alone.

But then there are the spastic, malevolent demagogues with the Great Wall of China bulging out of their foreheads and blood dripping from their teeth, shaking in their seats with a demonic urgency to commit mass murder against the fetal underdogs, ban God from the public square, destroy traditional institutions to accommodate to male-on-male sodomy and lesbian fisting and condemn brain-damaged hospital patients to long days of thirst, hunger, seizures and nosebleeds all in the name of “progress.” These are the liberals who are liberals out of contempt for everything good, holy and pure in life. These are liberals who want to destroy society rather than make it “better” as the good liberals intend to do. To name a few: Michael Newdow, DNC Chairman Howard Dean, ACLU executive director Anthony Romero, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, Florida Circuit Judge George Greer, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and Senator Ted Kennedy, just to name a few.
You’d think that Ted and the rest of the devil worshipping mass murders would have better things to do than to write nasty emails to Christian.
I did, however, receive one e-mail from someone whom I will not label, who noted that “the level of hatred” I spew in my columns is “appalling” and “far from biblical.” […]
It is biblical to call homosexuality a perversion and an abomination. It is fair to say that stoning abortion doctors to death would be lenient. It is practical to say that modern feminism encourages women to become God-spiting, hedonistic, infanticidal whores.
Yet again with the whores?  Poor Christian – I guess he got turned down again for a date to the sock hop.  You know, maybe he should get some tips on talking to women from Mel Gibson.

34 Responses to “The Meaning of Mel”

Perhaps Christian can find comfort in the fact that anybody with the time and energy to write angry e-mails to a brainless, clueless loser like him is probably a bigger loser.
I mean, I certainly wouldn’t waste my time writing to him, would you?
Oh, and I had no idea that only liberals ate granola. That explains a lot. All this time I thought Christian had a pole up his ass-turns out he’s just not getting enough roughage.
Well then, Bill, technically, Chrissy DOES have a pole up his ass. He just snaps off a piece when it grows too long, and voila, he has a new article in his hands!
“It is biblical to call homosexuality a perversion and an abomination.”
It’s also biblical to advocate death by stoning for unruly children, but I never hear anyone making that point. Not to mention the blase attitude it has toward abortion. These folks are awfully choosey about which biblical rules to follow…
I think that anybody with the Great Wall of China coming out of his or her forehead should be banned from public service and probably put in a museum somewhere, along with a cuspidor to spit all that blood into.
do any of these guys have any real social influence? or are they just small time operators wanking with their readers?
are there any radical conservatives like these that are the equivalent of kos or atrios?
Lastly, here’s “Love letters from the left,” by young Christian Hartsock.
[composes himself]
Alrighty, then. What’s Chrissy got to say for himself?
But then there are the spastic, malevolent demagogues with the Great Wall of China bulging out of their foreheads and blood dripping from their teeth, shaking in their seats with a demonic urgency to commit mass murder against the fetal underdogs, ban God from the public square, destroy traditional institutions to accommodate to male-on-male sodomy and lesbian fisting and condemn brain-damaged hospital patients to long days of thirst, hunger, seizures and nosebleeds all in the name of “progress.”
Wow! That describes me to a fucking “T!” Plus, my uncontrollable tendency to call Chrissy filthy, repugnant names, like “twerp.” Or, you know, not. Though the “twerp” stands. Wot a pissy little… oh, wait, name-calling again. I only ever am tempted into that when the object of my affliction is as vacuous and hateful as young Chrissy. And, as JoeBuddha sez above, awfully selective as to what he shows approbation for. To him, homos = abomination, but what about the shellfish?!? Just once I’d like to see a group of these wackjobs out in front of of a R3d L0bster, protesting the shrimp and king crab legs. Oh, and the gay waiters, I guess.
Oh, swell. Here I was all set to catch up on the anti-Catholic films of 1994 and Cal Thomas ruins Priest for me without so much as a spoiler alert.
“These folks are awfully choosey about which biblical rules to follow…”
Oh, but Joe, that would imply that they actually READ the whole thing, and the book is SO long with ALL those big words…
Also, “Saved” is not a Hollywood film. Unless a micro-budgeted, no-A-list-star, independently-released film is considered “Hollywood” now.
Question for you, Scott:
How much Dexedrine do you have to take to stop from falling asleep, dulled mind and all, when reading this shit?
Hartsock has a point. If we commit mass murder against the fetal underdogs, there will never be fully-grown underdogs, depriving the world of the pleasure of inspiring sports movies like “Hoosiers,” “Breaking Away” and “Over the Top.”
The fact that many Jews work in Hollywood is irrelevant. No, it’s worse than that. Jewish influence in Hollywood is bad for the Jews.
You know, I had to go check the original on ClownHall to make sure this wasn’t another blockquote glitch. I just couldn’t believe anyone would be stupid enough to write something this dumb. Guess that’ll teach me.
Shorter Christian Hartsock:
“Some liberals are out-of-touch flakes who don’t know what they’re talking about, like that tree-hugging hippie Barbra Streisand!”
Question for you, Scott:
How much Dexedrine do you have to take to stop from falling asleep, dulled mind and all, when reading this shit?
There’s not enough amphetamines in the world to get me through an issue of Townhall. It was s.z. who fearlessly descended Orpheus-like, into the Underworld. It was she alone who had sufficient Bennies, Dexies (and moxie) to drop a coin in the bony hand of the Ferryman, MonaCharon, and demand to be rowed across the River Styx (or the River Rush…or maybe it was the River Loverboy…I’m bad on Hadean geography).
I’m getting on in years so I can remember when complaining, or even just talking about Jewish influence in Hollywood was evidence of anti-Semitism. Now, not so much.
I wonder what Cal would have thought of another “Hollywood” movie, The Magdalene Sisters. William Donohue condemned its anti-Catholicism without having watched it.
Irish priests are randy buggers.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard the pharse “having the Great Wall of China bulging out of ones forehead” and I have no idea what it’s suppose to mean. I think Hartsock should win something for that.
I’m with Hysterical Woman: this boy is a big, BIG talent. There’s the metaphorical bravado, the vast sweep of fact-free generalization, the rushing accusatory torrent like somebody had opened the sluices of the Grand Coulee Dam… but he needs discipline. Who will be the Maxwell Perkins to his seething Thomas Wolfe?
I think it’s a “bulging veins” metaphor. It’s not aided by the fact that Christian has the IQ and writing style of a ten year old.
Really, admit it, Christian. The letters that get you all steamed up aren’t the ones where liberals use bad language. It’s the ones where they make fun of your name.
And, someone get John Stossel to weigh in on this. Ten years ago, Stossel would have been on the side of the angels on this one. I want to see how far he’s fallen into the reflexive “Politically Incorrect is an automatic defend” trap. It’ll help when they adjust his meds.
I concur, that Great Wall of China bulging from the forehead deserves some kind of award. Perhaps the Wanton, Merciless Destruction of the English Metaphor Scholarship, through which dear Christian can obtain an internship at Doug Giles’s manly manly masculine church, so he can learn at the feet of the master. Tell him to bring his weapon for those extremely manly hunting weekends!
There is simply nothing wrong with sacrificing to Ba’al. But I prefer blastocysts, they are like popcorn.
Such a pleasing aroma.
Poor Christian. I think the Spartans would have thrown him off a cliff shortly after birth.
I think Chrissy’s “Great Wall of China” bit is a pretty obvious attempt (though unsuccessful, naturally) to conflate liberals and commies… again! Do you suppose that young Chrissy is unaware of from whom we are borrowing the vast majority of our ever-upward-spiraling national debt from? The boy’s as dumb as a post.
Don’t insult posts, Marq.
I agree that Christian deserves a special shcolarship for his outstanding metaphor, mong other things. I think we should send him off for one-on-one study with Ward Churchill, and maybe Noam Chomsky and Gore Vidal ought to be the other two members of his thesis committee.
It’s bad enough the Jews are responsible for all the wars, but do they also have to make it so damn hot?
But then there are the spastic, malevolent demagogues with the Great Wall of China bulging out of their foreheads and blood dripping from their teeth
Well, I know what I’m gonna be for Halloween this year! Wheeeeeeeeeee!
I hope they don’t sell those cheap commercial knockoff Spastic, Malevolent Demogogues WTGWOCBOOTFABDFTT costumes at the mall. I hate it when someone else has the same costume as I do.
From now on, my lowest assessment will no longer be “dumber than a post”.
It will be “dumber than a Christian Hartsock blog post.”
[...] …for any of you who give a shit.  [...]
Congrats to Christian Hartsock. Insolent and man-hating women should be stoned in accordance with Levitical law.
Christian Wanksock is my lover. I do him up the ass Every Morning. Tha’s why his face look so surprised.
For those interested, Mr. Hartsocks bank checks actually read as “Christian Lee Hartscock”
Best typo ever. And yeah, I know the guy.

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