The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Henry and June. Midnight Cowboy. World O’ Crap.

What do these have in common? We’re all rated X!
What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating
Why are we so bad?

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
  • gay (11x)
  • rape (3x)
  • porn (1x)
So, there. Talking about the GOP has made us X Rated.

28 Responses to “Henry and June. Midnight Cowboy. World O’ Crap.”

Hah! I’m more NC-17-Rated than you are, and that’s just my blog.
Apparently, zombies are automatically bad, but they’re willing to ignore the Bigfoots, so we have some points of philosophical agreement at least. Also, they got me saying “rape” eleven times, “gay” seven, “hell”, six, “sex” four, “torture” three, “death” twice, and “assholes” once.
All of which makes me wonder, who the hell are these people, and how do they manage to date while carefully cushioned head-to-toe in bubblewrap? I think I’ve just had my blog rated by fainting goats.
The interesting thing is, in both my case and that of Wo’C, this is exactly why we used most of those words, in an attempt to sort out why the *words* are stripped of context and declared obscene but the ideas, particularly when expressed by the ruling political party, are apparently perfectly fine.
Wow! My blog is rated “G” because no bad words were found… but maybe it’s only because the blog is in Spanish! :)
“Baby Blog is site dedicated to providing you with articles and information geared to every stage of your baby’s development. Pregnancy, Newborn, Baby and Toddler.”
Rated R!!! This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* sex (8x)
* breast (6x)
* porn (2x)
* dangerous (1x)
Bad baby, bad!
Wait a minute! “Dangerous” is a “bad word”? In what world? (yes… I know…)
just think of the rating you would have gotten if you’d said “teh ghey sex!!1!!11!”
I just entered the URL’s of some borderline porn sites I may or may not have heard of or accidently surfed to from some random page or other (cough), and they were all rated “G”. I think that puts any claims of legitimacy for this site to rest…
JoeBuddha, I tried it on a smut site, too, and it only reads what’s on the page you’ve plugged in. It doesn’t look at other pages on the same site, nor at anything you link to. It doesn’t even appear to read your blog archives, so you’d have a different rating at the beginning of the month than you would at the end of it.
I feel like Charlie Brown.
All I got was a “G”.
Hm. I guess I finally found the G spot.
Gosh, this is a FUN game! I have a wee bloggy thing where all I ever do is drag stuff out from behind the New York Times firewall and I’m {drumroll} NC-17 too. Here’s what I racked up:
Death x 5
Suicide x 4
Dead x 3
Dangerous x 2
Crap x 1
(Well, maybe the “crap” was me making a comment about Bobo or MoDo…) But the rest is all straight out of the pages of that filthy hippie rag the NYT.
Woohooo!!!! Y’all have finally ARRIVED!!!!!!
If I put my blog’s URL into this little censor-bot, will I make their server explode?
Uh oh, your rating has already mysteriously “improved” to an NC-17. We’d best fix that toot sweet!
pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker pigfucker
You’re welcome.
Sorry, Annti, four fucks, two fuckings, and one crap only get you an NC-17 too.
That’s barely one segment’s worth of an episode of Penn & Teller’s “Bullshit!”
Aw, man, don’t remind me of how much I miss cable and Showtime, dammit.
And I *know* that there’s more than a measley FOUR “fucks” on that blog, dammit. Either that, or I’m losing my touch.
I want a gawddamned Redd Foxx TRIPLE-FUCKING XXX, dammit!!!
Dammit, Mentis, you were right.
Fucking lightweights. I have GOT to post more porn and/or G.O.P. subjects — same thing, really. It’s those fucking kittens that are making me look soft.
Even with adding 8 “fuckity”s, I’m STILL merely a fucking NC-17.
I haven’t been this insulted since that asshole “oral surgeon” lied to me (insulting my intelligence) about the tooth implant that I was promised in exchange for subjecting myself to be his guinea-pig for performing his first facelift. No toof, and the facelift didn’t exactly help, either. Haven’t smiled since 2004, and these cunts at Mingle2 are REALLY not increasing the odds of me grinning anytime soon.
Reminds me of AOL’s effort to clean up the internet for its customers in the mid 90s. They accidentally blocked access to a breast cancer survivor network, creating a righteous uproar.
The only real solution is to have people sitting at monitors checking things over and either approving or deleting them, page by page. Just like the Chinese do. (Speaking of which, has Murdoch bought WSJ yet?)
Last I heard, WSJ bitch-slapped Murdoch’s greedy talons away and said, “No thanks, asshole!”
But then, that was last week, I’m sure that he’s mounting a hostile takeover as we speak, if not mounting an altar boy.
And hey, we’ve outsourced half of our industries to China, half of our jobs, and a huge chunk of our pet food — why not let them censor us while they’re at it???
Never fails to make my gut boil when I hear another glowing, gloaming, guttural, gleeful report of how well Chinese “capitalism” is doing for Murkin robber-barons — and yet, not mention ONE in ANY of the Murkin media about the THOUSANDS of human-rights/legalized slavery violations of the Chinese gubmint. Oh, no, everything in China is just HUNKY-DORY, honey — long as Wally World and Dollar Tree and the Dollar General Store and Target get their cheap plastic shit at pennies-on-the-dollar, all is right with the world!
I think that our biggest national industry (well, the only one left) is CONSUMERISM, hence, we are not allowed to think about the sweatshops from whence our cheap plastic shit cometh. Just can’t have the consumers THINKING, now can we kids.
We’re NC-17 as well (Yay! Whee!) but we just don’t get “dangerous” being a bad word per se. And no “fucks” at all. Must not use it by itself, just in “fuckwad” & the like.
P. S. It provides different results each time it rates, seeming to search more each time, ferreting out new naughtiness.
[...] (link via World O’ Crap) [...]
seeming to search more each time, ferreting out new naughtiness.
Ah, John Ashcroft, how we miss you….
It provides different results each time it rates, seeming to search more each time, ferreting out new naughtiness.
I suspect it searches comments, as well. Thus, as “naughty” comments are added, the “naughtiness”-factor goes up.
So, my contribution to this post:
Fucking asswipe gay rape porn!
Thank yew.
And, Annti–you’ll always be rated NC-17 in my book!
Now wait just a goddamn minute here. I only get an R? “Based on the presence of these words: Shit (3x) Fuck (2x) and Ass (1x)”
So “gay” and “porn” get a NC-17 (what used to be X long ago) but “shit” and “fuck” are rated R? What’s wrong with this picture?
BTW, Annti, if you want a triple X rating, you’ll have to get it the same way the porno filmmakers get theirs – they award it to themselves. There is no official XXX rating. NC-17 (formerly X) is as bad as it gets.
Dammit. Well, my dear Realist, seems that it falls upon your superior (to mine, anyway, and it’s not like THAT’S hard to beat!) photoshopping skills to make M.O.B. the Redd Foxx Triple-XXX rating that I crave.
Though I wouldn’t throw it up on there next to the Unicef button, if possible. Heh.
BTW, when I worked in the Wally World Of Porn (Airline Adult Books of Kenner, LA), one X was for full-frontal nudity and hints of penetration, XX was penetration of your missionary-position orifices, and XXX was full penetration of EVERY orifice, including the money shots.
So nyeh.
Even porn-mongers have their standards.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.?!?!??!?!?
I just put up a post, and it’s not even “awaiting moderation”?!??!?!?!?
Thanks to Realist, Mark Of The Beast is now XXX-Rated!!!!!!
(Some of us take our thrills where we can get ‘em.)

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