The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Friday Beast Blogging


“Abner, the Stephens are doing something weird again…”

And Moondoggie…

“Huh?  Wha–?  Hey, don’t touch the remote, I was watching the game!”

17 Responses to “Friday Beast Blogging”

Kitties!!! Yay! I don’t want to meet the man who doesn’t like funny cat pictures. That black and white one looks so evil. But in a cute way.
Thank you! It seems like no one is doing Friday catblogging anymore and I’ve missed it so much.
That Riley is a dangerous one — watch yer back, kiddo. Those eyes are far too sharp and cynical for an ordinary cat. Moondoggie, on the other hand, seems to be a faithful user of Cosmic Catnip… user, hell, SERIAL INGESTER!
BTW, there’s another hell-raising little Southern woman in the world tonight…
Cat refusing to relinquish TiVo remote = dead cat. And I like cats.
Aw, great kitty pix, and CONGRATULATIONS, Annti girl! “Jada” – great name, Jada, jada, jing, jing, jing….
Annti :
Congratulations ! Yay for cute babies – kitties or human. Do whippersnappers Ever Listen to Wise Elders? Sigh.
Hugs to you, woman.
Suez in SA
Hell, no, they don’t listen (but thanks for all of the kindnesses!), if they did, they’d be USING BIRTH CONTROL, the ornery heifers. It’s that Beastmaster/Fallen Uterus crazy-bitch gene — it never dies out, it is never diluted by the sperm-donor’s genetic contributions, it just always IS.
Can’t wait ’til I can get a chance to go to NOLA and meet my new niece. Oldest/Redheaded Niece saw a camera-phone picture and sez that she looks like a gorgeous little Eskimo! With enough hair on her head for three kids — sounds about right.
At any rate, back to teh kittehs — Scott, you never did say — is MoonDoggie on teh Cosmic Catnip? ‘Cause dat is de goooooood shit. When they get older, you can mix in some organic alfalfa with the kitty-weed to help with arthritis — it’s worked wonders on my two ornery soon-to-be-ten chirrens.
I’ll have to give the alfalfa a try. I bet the hippie pet food store has some for all your hippie guinea pig needs. And mine get a brand called Hot Nip these days. That bud is excellent. The stuff’s the darkest green I’ve ever seen catnip. I mix it with a little powdered valerian out of capsules, find it in the herbal supplement aisle, and they’re stoned for the better part of the day.
pretty much the only pussies i’ll look at. :)
At any rate, back to teh kittehs — Scott, you never did say — is MoonDoggie on teh Cosmic Catnip?
Actually, Moondoggie’s on Meowie Wowie. It’s got a killer buzz!
D., darlin’, Valerian is a little dangerous for teh kittehs — they don’t have strong livers or kidneys, as you well know. I’d stick with the alfalfa & kitty weed. BTW, you can buy bulk alfalfa, by the ounce or the pound, from, and they have the goooooood shit. I haven’t had a chance to see if they sell catnip, but my spoiled chirrens are quite happy with the Cosmic.
Mary — have you been able to compare Meowie Wowie to Cosmic? Which one is better/stronger? My cats are such stoners, they roll around in it, and I put it on this little cardboard scratchy-thing, and the lie on top of it, as if they’re absorbing the hallucinogens through osmosis (through their very fat, very hairy behinds, I guess). Always wanna hear the good word on kitty stuff, you know, gotta keep the old farts as spoiled-rotten as possible. They do, after all, have to live with my so-called “parents,” The Dick & The Fallen Uterus (formerly known as The Beastmaster, before she became his subservient slave after he retired and no longer had MEN to boss around and treat like servants), so I do everything that I can to make it up to them. Biddy & Boy don’t guilt-trip me too hard about the living arrangements, but I still feel awful for submitting them to those flaming-psychotic morons. Hence the spoiled-rotten kittehs.
OH! And D.— codliver oil is also great for teh kitteh arthritis, as is the feline-formulated glucosamine (without MSM, ’cause that’s not supposed to be good for them) — I had bought both for my spoiled kittehs, but they got so fat off of the canned food that they both had high cholesterol, and one of the supplements had them barfing (I think that it was the antibiotics at the time, but have yet to try the cod liver oil or the glucosamine again yet) — so if I remember to try them on the cod oil and the glucosamine again, I’ll let you know how it goes. You would think that codliver oil would still be pretty damned common and easy to find at your local drugstore or feed store or pet store, but nooooo, I hadda order that shit from NORWAY!!! I shit you not. Teh glucosamine set me back about $36, so if they don’t take to it again, I can send you what I have left, if you want it.
And Bill, darling, while I wanna thwack you for the anti-vagina comment, at least you love teh kittehs, so I can’t get TOO mad at you. Though after watching “Naked Lunch” over breakfast today, I am tempted to school you on the sexism that some gay men have towards women… But let’s leave that for another day, I’ve been through more than enough stress for one day.
I told THEM about their newest great-granddaughter, and of course, took all of the fucking bullets for my chickenshit Psycho-Sister (the coward who ran away to Montana) and both of her chickenshit daughters, because none of those so-called “badass bitches” had the ovaries to inform my so-called “parents” about their half-Trinidadian great-granddaughter.
And yes, they are so ignorant and bigoted, they embody every bad stereotype about the South against which I’ve struggled my entire life.
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over in the corner, popping valiums and chewing on my hair.
Mary — have you been able to compare Meowie Wowie to Cosmic? Which one is better/stronger?
I’ve used Cosmic (it comes with the cardboard scratchy thingy–which all cats seem to love above all else), and Meowie Wowie still seems to provide the longest lasting buzz, with less drool. Just my own observation.
Well, they don’t get the valerian & catnip that often, or even just the catnip, really, or they lose interest completely. Like twice a week is too much, though at least the younger one used to be happier with it more often. Valerian scent gives me headaches, so I have to be willing to do that to begin with. A single capsule of the stuff will do all the nip they get in a year (and then the scent lasts long enough I have to clean out the bag toys and wash them anyway). I swear I’m not a bad catmommy! ;-)
Mostly, they just have to put up with waiting for me to play with them. Feathery things on dangly strings, yay! There’s gotta be a bird in there somewhere if we can just catch it…
Lately I’ve been poking them with the wooden spoon too, just so they don’t feel left out when I go after the zombie Bigfeet. For some odd reason, they seem to feel this is also playtime. Cats, who can figure? (My partner handles it less well, I should possibly note.)
Congratulations on the latest addition to the family, by the way.
Please don’t lump me in with Mike Adams. It wasn’t a “vaginas are icky” joke, it was a “gay guys aren’t interested in vaginas” joke. (and a stupid, sophomoric one, I’ll admit.) I think there’s a difference, but, if you or any other women found the joke sexist, I apologize. (Although if Scott posts a picture of a rooster in the future, ye best watch what ye say.)
Oh, and you shouldn’t watch David Cronenberg movies when you’re eating.
No shit, Bill. I’ll give you points for getting what I was talking about without getting pissed at me. And I would NEVER ever EVER curse you as badly as lumping you in with that mouth-breathing troglodyte Adams. Dammit, Bill, don’t you know me better than that by now? Now, if it came down to a STAMOS joke, well, that’s a whole other cosmos… heh heh heh…
Thanks for the empirical data, Mary — where can I order the Meowie Wowie? I might add it to my blogger wishlist, too, along with all of the kitty, dog & hamster treats that I’ve got on there already.
Thank you for the kind thoughts, D. — and we all know that you are a wonderful kittymommy — I have just seen, read & heard good and bad things about valerian root/leaves, and that they’re not recommended for teh kittehs. I’ve been an amateur herbalist for years, but never got any good results from valerian, and while my vet loves that I’m using the alfalfa & teh kitteh weed, she definitely agreed that teh valerian might be too much for teh kittehs.
I wish that I got to have enough time to really play with my two fat spoiled-rotten chirrens, but that would entail me living with THEM again, and that ain’t NEVER gonna happen, even though the “option” has been presented to me, versus L’Hotel du Fucktards/Le Bastille du Fucktards. Can’t go back there again. No amount of Stockholm Syndrome could make me, either.
Thanks for the empirical data, Mary — where can I order the Meowie Wowie? I might add it to my blogger wishlist, too, along with all of the kitty, dog & hamster treats that I’ve got on there already.
Why, you can order it from Meowie Wowie Catnip and Toys! Meowie Wowie: For the Discriminating Cat Who Wakes and Bakes Everyday!
Mary, you SO rawk!

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