In keeping with our theme of Gay Pride Month, here’s a little glimpse at Your Tax Dollars At Work, courtesy of Talking Points Memo:
Thinking outside the box.
In 1994 the US Air Force looked into the possibility of creating a non-lethal ‘gay bomb’ which would breakdown unit cohesion in opposing armies by spraying them with a chemical that would spontaneously make them into homosexuals.
How quickly it would take for the mystery chemical to make the opposing soldiers gay is not clear. But presumably it would have to be pretty fast. No period of sexual confusion or questioning.Yes, Iraq would be a cool breeze, if only we could turn our enemies into sissy marys like Alexander the Great, or Lawrence of Arabia, or Julius Caesar, or Frederick the Great, or the Sacred Band of Thebes, or the Ottoman Janissaries, or any of those limp-wristed, femmy sword flashers from the days when men wore skirts.
Because when you’re in huddling in a foxhole under fire, the first thing you worry about is whether the other guy is teh ghey.
Well, the first thing you probably worry about is getting killed. But the second thing…
Actually, the second thing you’re mostly likely concerned about is getting a few hours sleep, and maybe a little relief from the trots, and the lice in your pubic hair, but the third…
Well, the third thing you’re probably thinking about is getting some hot food. And a drink. But after that…you’d probably like a shower. And after 36 hours in a muddy hole, you probably don’t really care if the guy sharing the bar of Lifebuoy has an extensive collection of Judy Garland LPs.
But once you get back to the barracks, and slip into a fresh set of BDUs, and have a shave, and a decent meal, and maybe a couple or three beers, and a good nights sleep in actual sheets, then yeah, you’re gonna be properly concerned about the possibility of gays having infiltrated your unit.
Man. I really can’t figure out why we’re losing in Iraq.
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