The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Jonah Sez: Bush Is Two-Faced. But One Of His Faces Would Never Lie To Me!

UPDATED Below
As a quick Google search shows, Jonah Goldberg spent much of 2004 declaring that no falsehood could ever pass the pink and oh-so-kissable portal of Bush’s lips, while simultaneously declaring that the tongues of Howard Dean, John Kerry, and Joseph Wilson lay like raisins in the bottom of their mouths, shriveled by deceit.

Now alas, Jonah has come to the conclusion that while George Bush was George Washington when it came to claims about Iraq’s thriving nuclear arms industry, he’s Baron von Munchausen when it comes to brown people wriggling through the gaps in our border security.  And it hurts, man.  It really hurts!
How have people who oppose illegal immigration allowed themselves to be painted as both anti-immigration and, more absurdly, “anti-immigrant?”
Liberals and — dismayingly — many “pro-immigration” conservatives will tell you it’s because the “anti-immigration” right is racist, nativist, hate-filled and the like.  That’s basically President Bush’s view….There’s a reason so many people claim that conservatives speak in “code” about immigration. It’s because so few prominent Republicans or conservatives are actually saying anything objectively racist.
Bush is actually willing to fib about his political opponents in order to cast them in a negative light and advance his own agenda?  Jonah nearly choked on his Ho-Ho.  And it’s all the more unfair because it’s so untrue!  Yes, Jonah opposes immigration from Mexico, but only because “that’s where the problem is.”  He certainly doesn’t object to the current influx on the basis of race, merely national origin.  After all, as Jonah says:
Philosophically and politically, I am on the side of every pro-immigration movement of the last two centuries. We’re a better country because of previous waves of immigrants.
I don’t see how you can more thoroughly debunk accusations of anti-Latino bias than by noting that you retroactively approve of all the white people who arrived here a hundred years ago.  Even the Italians.
Still, as painful as these baseless slurs may be, they can’t prevent Jonah from doing what he does best – argument by tautology:
Whether you agree with them or not, most “anti-immigration” conservatives actually think that there is an important distinction between legal and illegal immigration. Want a hint as to why? One is legal and the other isn’t.
and for dessert:
The most important immigration policy is to enforce the policy
But even the chance to chuck a little rhetorical chin music doesn’t take the sting out of your Commander in Chief calling you a bigot.  And so fluently!  One would almost think Bush had lied before, if we didn’t have Jonah’s own testimony to the contrary:
For Bush to have lied, he had to have known that there were no WMDs, right? It’s not a lie unless you know the truth. If you say something you think is true that later turns out to be false, we don’t call that a “lie,” we call that a “mistake.”…But nobody has made a remotely persuasive case that Bush lied. – Jan 16, 2004
The Democrats deeply deranged by anti-Bush fever insist on making the most damning – and implausible – charge possible: that Bush willfully lied to the American people about Iraq.  As I’ve tried to demonstrate in this space before, the idea that the president lied to the American people hinges on – at least – one almost impossible fact: that George W. Bush knew for a certainty that the intelligence agencies of America, Britain, France, Germany, Israel, Australia, as well as the United Nations and countless independent experts were all wrong.   Virtually all of the anti-Bush conspiracy theories – most of which contradict each other – depend on the “Bush lied” thesis. But Bush’s critics won’t let go of this idea, disqualifying themselves from the deadly serious task of dealing with what went wrong.  – January 18, 2004
Bush “lied” because he believed the same intelligence John Kerry believed. Bush “lied” even though John Edwards called the threat from Iraq “imminent” — something Bush never did. No one bothers to ask how it could be possible that Bush lied.  How could he have known there were no WMDs? — Oct. 8, 2005
As it turned out, Wilson’s accusation that President Bush lied in his State of the Union speech about Iraq seeking “yellowcake uranium” was debunked by the Senate Intelligence Committee. — September 6, 2006
Those were the days.  And of course, you can still trust Mr. Bush’s veracity when he speaks about Iraq.  But when the topic turns to immigration reform, suddenly the air is filled a nose-crinkling whiff of burning leg hair, as the Presidential Pants spontaneously combust:
The White House says it cares about enforcement, but Bush’s credibility — indeed all of Washington’s credibility — on illegal immigration is simply nonexistent.
Well, at least now Jonah knows how Philippe felt in The Fallen Idol.
UPDATE.  In comments, Doghouse Riley helps Jonah put the whole painful ordeal into a bit of historical perpective:
Hey, in fairness, I can’t begin to count the number of times Jonah has expressed his admiration for the United States’ steadfast refusal in 1939 to allow the nine hundred German Jews aboard the St. Louis to enter the country in violation of immigration quotas, despite the fact they all wound up back in Germany. After all, there’s legal and then there’s illegal.

11 Responses to “Jonah Sez: Bush Is Two-Faced. But One Of His Faces Would Never Lie To Me!”
 
Philosophically and politically, I am on the side of every pro-immigration movement of the last two centuries. We’re a better country because of previous waves of immigrants.
I don’t see how you can more thoroughly debunk accusations of anti-Latino bias than by noting that you retroactively approve of all the white people who arrived here a hundred years ago. Even the Italians.
*PHWEEEEEET*
Two minutes for unintentional neglect!
You’ll notice he approved of slavery by not discounting it in his statement.
Hey, in fairness, I can’t begin to count the number of times Jonah has expressed his admiration for the United States’ steadfast refusal in 1939 to allow the nine hundred German Jews aboard the St. Louis to enter the country in violation of immigration quotas, despite the fact they all wound up back in Germany. After all, there’s legal and then there’s illegal.
I so want to be you when I grow up.
Don’t we all.
It just infuriates me that this guy has a job as a commentator.
I mean, look at this:
“So how did Republicans, who normally embrace patriotism, American exceptionalism and rugged individualism, get on the wrong side of this story?”
Uh… maybe because those ideas have often historically been rooted in racist ideologies?
I dunno… I feel like a professional thinker should have more perspective then me, a 23 year old community college dropout with only a middling interest in history. Is that so much to ask?
Its not a lie, its a mistake? What about willful mistakes?
Here’s the difference between them- one is willful.
It’s become a proven technique for thoughtless jerks like Goldberg to snow the reader with so many right-wing factoids, bromides and Hannitudes that there are just too many falsehoods and bamboozlements to rectify in one lifetime. So here’s just one answer for him — the intelligence Bush got from the CIA (not Feith/Cheney) did not make the case for WMDs. And those inspectors who were indeed in Iraq (whom Mitt Romney doesn’t even allow to have existed) were sending back daily reports of finding no WMDs — as in none — calling American lists indentifying WMD cache locations “garbage” right up to the minute President Liberal pulled them out in order to invade and disarm the country of what they had not got.
It’s a fascinating exercise these days to actually live through history that these people so shamefacedly lie about, as if we have neither TV sets nor memory neurons.
Mr. Goldberg is a truely stupid person with a good vocabulary. He ought to be using the ALL !!! CAPS!! and exclamation points his readers prefer.
!!!This PROOVES (!!) ALL LIBS !!! R TRATIORS!!!
Domo arigato, R Porrofatto:
[sorry, couldn't resist]
Your post got me thinking about the slick marketing of this war, which was done in similar fashion by the White House & Pentagon–endless barrage of factoids, bamboozlements, etc. designed to create impressions that didn’t quite fit with reality.
And when things started to go into the shitter, the President’s denials regarding what he had promised sounded an awful lot like those of a used car dealer when the clunker you bought drops its tranny in the middle of the expressway during rush hour in 95 degree weather.
drops its tranny in the middle of the expressway during rush hour in 95 degree weather.
When Ann Coulter learns not to get into heated arguments with the driver, she’ll be able to hitchhike with some expectation of reaching her destination.
There are people on the far side of the Moon. Little green Rastafarian people to be exact, with moon-dreads. I swear. And they’re terrorist Looney-rastas, of this I’m certain, so it is incumbent upon us, mah fellow Americans, to nuke the Moon now!
By JG’s daffy criterion – “It’s not a lie unless you know the truth” – I haven’t lied, because, what, you think I can breathe vacuum? So I can’t possibly know the truth, right?

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