The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Heavens To Murgatroyd!

EXIT, stage left!
(Stolen from Hoffmania, which stole it from Blah3.)

11 Responses to “Heavens To Murgatroyd!”

Cape Water buffalo don’t have the greatest sense of sight. They rely more on their sense of smell. They must have been upwind of the lions. They’re pretty belligerent, so I’m surprised they ran at first-I was not surprised that they came back én mass to kick ass later, peeling off those lionesses one-by-one. Nor was I surprised by the cameo appearance by Mr. Crocodile, once the action had retired to the riverbank for a while. After all that biting and clawing, it looks like the calf (SPOILER ALERT!) survives, though it’s hard to say, with the inevitable blood-loss and threat of tropical infections (END SPOILER ALERT!). Isn’t Nature… “wonderful?”
Marq, would you like to come over and watch nature documentaries with me? I promise I’ll make dinner and won’t hit on you.
My partner briefly got into Sunrise Earth based on the fact that it was on the brand new HDTV, but quickly lost interest. “So does some kind of helicopter come in and crash into that lake?” “Does the crocodile eat anyone? How can you tell it’s an alligator?” “Are there gonna be, like, human sacrifices on that pyramid?” “What’s with all the damned ducks?” “You seriously mean the entire plot is just that the sun… comes up? It doesn’t even explode or anything?”
I feel like such a lily-livered chickenshit.
I was flinching the entire time, and y’all were reveling in it.
Granted, I was pulling for the calf, but still — jeeebus, Marlin Perkins never got this graphic.
Ho. Lee. Shee-it!!!!!!!!!
If that is life at the watering hole, no wonder we invented pubs.
Water Buffalo = insurgents?
I (heart) Buffalo!
All kinds, be it North American Bison bison or bad ass capes; if there is an animal icon to embrace, the Buffalo it is.
The lions are the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy en masse – everybody from Richard Scaife to George Walker Bush – and the buffalo herd is the outraged and increasingly mobilized rest of us. The calf is the Constitution of the United States.
The crocodile is Karl Rove, or maybe Richard Cheney. Maybe both.
Hey, Mr. the Ace of Spades linked to this or posted it or something last week or so. Now stop and think for just a moment: Do you want anything to do w/ anything Mr. Ace wants anything to do w/?
But enough, now I’m going to actually watch the thing in squeamish delight!
The people who paid for that safari sure got there money’s worth.
D. Sidhe-You’re partner sounds like riot. We’d get along. “What’s with all the damn ducks?”
Li’l Innocent, I’m thinking that the calf was the 2002 antiwar movement, and the other cape buffalo are wussy democrats who stood around watching the loner get gored and half-drowned for a long time, until they finally figured out that there were enough of them to actually do something about it. May be too late for the loner, but at least the kitties are on the run.

No comments:

Post a Comment