Because The Wine…Forgot

Ah, the holidays. Where I grew up (a little beach town in Southern California), we had to do without weather, so one of the most poignant signifiers of the season was a perennial series of commercials for crappy vintner Paul Masson, done by Orson Welles (who apparently really, really needed the money to finish Don Quixote). Even as a kid, I wondered what a smooth character like him was doing, drinking the white man’s T.J. Swan. Well, these outtakes answer that burning question, while simultaneously ushering in a frost-and-topped frisson of the holiday spirit. We give you:

Orson Welles. Assailed By Wassail:

Posted by scott on Thursday, December 21st, 2006 at 12:46 am.

12 Responses to “Because The Wine…Forgot”

I would just like to say, that is one of my FAVORITE clips of Orson Welles, EVER!

Left by maryc on December 21st, 2006

I’m very disappointed. From the still there, I thought the guy with the bottle was Columbo, which for some obscure reason made me quite happy.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 21st, 2006

There, but for the grace of God, goes God, as Herman Mankiewicz once said.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 21st, 2006

“We will sell no wine before it’s time!”
How I loved that phrase, still use it. I never saw the “vintage dated” commercial. Now I can die happy. But not right away. (I bought a bottle of Moet & Chandon for hubby & I to drink whilst watching the little one decorate the tree, but HE drank it all one Saturday afternoon. Just as well, Champagne, even French (tho not vintage dated) gives me a headache).

Left by Kathy on December 21st, 2006

Okay, so exactly how many cases of the stuff had he sampled (just to make sure it was palatable, of course) before he started shooting? This is truly, TRULY special!!

Left by Marion in Savannah on December 21st, 2006

Wow! He must have been fermented in the bottle. I like the looks on the other actor’s faces, too – like they are afraid that Welles will smack them if they say or do anything.

Left by Sporty on December 21st, 2006

There used to be a liquor store in San Francisco whose ad space for specials read WE WILL SELL NO WINE BEFORE IT’S TIME.
Under that, it read, OPEN 9:30 A.M.
Both funny AND grammatical!

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on December 21st, 2006

I’ve never been sure if it’s “We will sell no wine before ITS time,” i.e. the _wine_’s time, or “We will sell no wine before IT’S time,” i.e. we decide that the time is right. Both are grammatically sound. Which is it? Or is it deliberately ambiguous?
I need to get out more.

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 21st, 2006

Flip, print ads as well as onscreen text at the end of Paul Masson commercials all use “its,” and you need to get out more in any case, as do we all.

Left by Chris Vosburg on December 23rd, 2006

And of course, for anyone who missed it check out the the widely circulated mp3 of Mr Welles’ bad day in the recording studio, which was faithfully reproduced as a Pinky and the Brain episode titled “Yes, Always.” Not quite word for word, and you’ll see why when you hear the tape.
C’mon fellas, you’re losing your heads!

Left by Chris Vosburg on December 23rd, 2006

Chris, that’s a load off my mind.

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 23rd, 2006

For a while, a competitor – don’t recall who – had a series of ads that used a Welles impersonator and the slogan “We will sell no wine…until you pay for it.” Sadly, they pulled the campaign under pressure, but it was hilarious while it lasted.

Left by Easy Reader on December 23rd, 2006