They Grow Up So Fast

In The American Prospect, Big Media Brad from Sadly, No! goes the ISG Report one better, and presents a simple, foolproof plan for winning the War on Christmas:

Here are some modest proposals: 1.) A 1,000 percent sales tax on wrapping paper and mistletoe, revenues from which will fund a commune of gay Wiccan avant garde cellists. 2.) We ban the sale of all Christmas records except for Terry Bradshaw Sings Christmas Songs for the Whole Family and the non-religious holiday music composed by the gay Wiccan cellists.

Click here for the rest.

Posted by scott on Friday, December 8th, 2006 at 6:00 pm.

5 Responses to “They Grow Up So Fast”

I knew I shouldn’t give up the cello when I was 12. Damn!

Left by Marq on December 9th, 2006

I used to play the cello too! I gave it up in college so I am more worthy than Marq. Also, I am not a druid (I am a muslim) but I wrote a report on druids in 12th grade English class. Can I be part of the war on Xmas?

Left by Anna in Portland (was Cairo) on December 10th, 2006

Rather than waging war on Xmas, I subject it to my own lazy apathy. We sleep late, have some of Casa Biscuitbarrel’s famous glazed cinnamon rolls, quarrel over the DVD player. Around sundown, we go to Chinatown for dinner. Usually we eat at the Full Kee, where my sons like to gross out the squeamish by pointing out such menu items as Congealed Duck Blood.
Then it’s back home for another round of squabbles over the DVD player. The eldest Biscuitbarrel lad plugs in his laptop where we’re sure to trip over the power cord. That’s tradition!

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on December 11th, 2006

“revenues from which will fund a commune of gay Wiccan avant garde cellists.”
What if I want to fund a collective of polyamorous Reconstructionist Jewish cantors, huh? Why can’t my tax money be toward causes I believe in?
Oh, OK, maybe if the cantors and the cellists do a duet or something.

Left by a clockwork grapefruit on December 17th, 2006