The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Jerry Fallwell, Secret Druid

Our friend (and bad movie expert) Happenstance emailed us a link to this story:

Falwell’s Flub: Jerry-Rigged Policy Opens Door For Pagan Proselytizing In Virginia Public School

A group of Pagans in Albemarle County, Va., was recently given permission to advertise their multi-cultural holiday program to public school children – and they have the Rev. Jerry Falwell to thank for it.
The dispute started last summer when Gabriel and Joshua Rakoski, twins who attend Hollymead Elementary School, sought permission to distribute fliers about their church’s Vacation Bible School to their peers via “backpack mail.” Many public schools use special folders placed in student backpacks to distribute notices about schools events and sometimes extra-curricular activities to parents.
School officials originally denied the request from the twins’ father, Ray Rakoski, citing a school policy barring “distribution of literature that is for partisan, sectarian, religious or political purposes.”
A Charlottesville weekly newspaper, The Hook, reports that Rakoski “sicced the Liberty Counsel on the county,” and the policy was soon revised to allow religious groups to use the backpack mail system. Liberty Counsel is a Religious Right legal group founded by Mathew Staver and now affiliated with Falwell.
As you may recall, earlier this week The Christmas Guys (Bob “Blot o’ Mustard” Marley, his brother Daryl, and his other brother Daryl) spammed the comments with a bunch of cut-and-pasted legal decisions — or in some cases, just court cases — in an effort to prove that Christmas was under assault by the ACLU and activist judges.  Well, to paraphrase Jesus, “Live by the tort, die by the tort.”
Some local Pagans who attend Thomas Jefferson Memorial Church, a Unitarian-Universalist congregation in Charlottesville, decided to take advantage of the new forum as well. They created a one-page flier advertising a Dec. 9 event celebrating the December holidays with a Pagan twist and used the backpack system to invite the entire school community.
“Have you ever wondered what ‘Holidays’ refers to?” reads the flier. “Everyone knows about Christmas – but what else are people celebrating in December? Why do we celebrate the way we do?”
The flier invites people to “an educational program for children of all ages (and their adults), where we’ll explore the traditions of December and their origins, followed by a Pagan ritual to celebrate Yule.”
It concludes, “Come for one or both parts and bring your curiosity.”
Many members of this congregation are strong supporters of church-state separation who don’t believe public schools should promote any religion. But they were also unwilling to cede the field to Falwell and his fundamentalist allies. Falwell opened the backpack forum, and the Pagans were determined to secure equal time.
Suddenly not everyone was pleased by the open forum. Jeff Riddle, pastor of Jefferson Park Baptist Church in Charlottesville, wrote on his personal blog, “If the school allows the Baptist or Methodist church to send home a note to its students about Vacation Bible School, it also has to allow the Unitarian Church to send home a note about its ‘Pagan ritual to celebrate Yule’….This kind of note adds weight to the argument that it is high time for Christians to leave public schools for reasonable alternatives (homeschooling and private Christian schools).”
Another conservative Christian blogger in the county complained about finding the flier in her child’s folder. Apparently unaware of Falwell’s role in bringing it about, the blogger who goes by the name Cathy, noted disclaimer language at the bottom of the flier noting that the event is not connected to the school and wrote, “They [the school officials] aren’t endorsing or sponsoring this? Then it shouldn’t have been included in the Friday folders. The Friday folders have never been used for any thing other than school work and school board and/or County sanctioned/sponsored programs.”
She then fumed that a “pagan ritual” is “an educational experience my children don’t need.”
Well, Cathy and Jeff, it’s a new day. Your pals Falwell and Staver have opened up this forum, and now everyone gets to use it. Isn’t that what you wanted all along – freedom of religion? That freedom means all religions – even ones you don’t happen to like.
As of press time, Liberty Counsel is now suing to overturn the Law of Unintended Consequences.  In the meantime, CBS has cancelled A Charlie Brown Christmas, and replaced it with this evergreen holiday classic:

If Fallwell is a secret druid, does this mean he’s eligible to be the guest of honor at some sort of wicker festival? That is of course just a joke, based on both the deliberate factual inaccuracies behind the statement and the likelihood of this ever happening, that is to say, an actual joke, not a joke like Ann Coulter tells about Supreme Court Justices.
The sad thing, actually, is that it’s the Freepers who are most likely to try to burn him in effigy. Kinda looking forward to it, in a meanspirited, good-for-the-gander, reap-what-you-have-sown, kick-the-bullies-before-they-start-in-on- your-little-brother-again sort of way.
This kind of note adds weight to the argument that it is high time for Christians to leave public schools for reasonable alternatives
Aw, why stop there, Pastor Riddle? Even being on the same continent with these heathens might expose your children to new ideas. Time to get on a boat and try to find a new land.
Ah, it’s the old ‘freedom of speech for those who agree with me’ argument. . . I am sure somewhere, someone, is blogging about how this flyer discriminates against christians. . . . *sigh*
Ye gods I luuuuurve me some Wicker Man – the ass slapping scene is teh best EVAR! FWIW I actually live not too far from where it was filmed and it is still very much a big deal here in Dumfries and Galloway. Big WM festival every year…
…oh, and I also love the ‘back at ya’ that old Falwell got over this. I can’t wait till we can put a big bonfire in the public square, between the menorah and the nativity scene!
“This kind of note adds weight to the argument that it is high time for Christians to leave public schools for reasonable alternatives (homeschooling and private Christian schools).”
Actually, this kind of note adds weight to the argument that it is high time for Christian fundamentalist to leave public schools alone for reasonable alternatives (like undergoing intense and long-term therapy for whatever problem it is they seem to have that requires them to drive the rest of us nuts with their lunacy, particularly around the Holiday Seasons and School Board election time).
Ah, memories… When I was a student at WWU in B’ham, Wa, we had a rather large contingent of TM’ers on campus. They tried to form a student club, but were vigorously opposed by some of the Fundie clubs, on the grounds that what they were doing was actually promoting religion. The Fundies petitioned the student council (much to the annoyance of the members thereof), who responded by ammending the bylaws to disallow religious exercise, recruitment, or discussion by any clubs on campus. The resulting FooFraw was a pleasure to behold! I see the law of unintended consequences is still alive and kicking…
(The amendments were withdrawn, once the point had been made)
tomg, you rock, dude. Has Scott sent you a secret decoder ring yet?
It’s Catch-22 for these people. If they were savvy enough to realize how poorly they’ve been led for 25 years they’d be smart enough not to be fundies, or at least to drop their foolish, smell-my-farts, read-my-commandments agenda. God knows, you should pardon the expression, there’s at least as much pent-up acrimony among our 2000 Protestant sects as between Christians and pagans. More, no doubt, since their differences are fueled by metaphysical certainties, while most pagans happily live and let live with Christianity when it’s not trying to muscle everyone else aside.
The parochial school movement is 150 years old. It didn’t come about because atheists were oppressing Catholics, and it sure didn’t come about because Protestants gladly shared tax money with schools featuring other religious doctrines. Pushing Jesus into the political debate assured one thing: that one day the Savior was going to lose His majority.
Damn…it was because of that film (The Wicker Man) and The Shining that I had to give up my traditional wild boars head Christmas costume! The local Baptists kept trying to light me on fire….This year asbestos boars heads for all!
While it disturbs me that any religious/sectarian organization could put anything in my kid’s backpack other than school related activities, I do love the schadenfreude, with a shot of eggnog to chase.
Mmmm, blonde bimbos, bestiality and Edward Woodward…can’t go wrong with that combo!
“Live by the torte, die by the torte”
Jesus? I thought that was Michael Moore.
What, no Charie Brown Christmas Special? Good thing I have it on DVD. At least they haven’t cancelled Rudolph. (If I had a kid, I’d have to explain to him/her that Rudolph’s father is a jerk and so is Santa, but that Yukon Cornelius is a good guy – heck, one look at all the dog breeds that comprise his equipage and it’s obvious that he works with Animal Rescue.)
way back in time, i was a snarky highschooler. having won an essay contest, i became co-editor of the school newspaper for the 1978-79 school year. every morning we had morning announcements read over the p.a. system. after that we were required to stand for the national anthem and the lord’s prayer. this was in a public high school, here in godless, secular, gay-marrying canada.
perhaps some prehistory is in order. as the child of immigrants, my irish catholic mom enrolled me in catholic school for first grade. there i experienced the sacred joy of physical assault by my teacher on a routine basis. i was strapped on the hand, slapped in the face and in one particular instance given a bare assed strapping in front of the class. toward the end of the year, the teacher called my mom to suggest that my “behaviour problems” indicated that i was beyond salvation. since i was doomed to the eternal fires of hell, perhaps i should go to public school instead. which suited me just fine, thank you very much.
so, i had and have no special love for christianity or christians or their holidays. so…back to high school. my neighbourhood was growing and changing. my best friend seth aka the jewish kid and pawanjiit the hindu kid, ozner the muslim kid and faruq the zoroastrian kid started to sit down after the anthem and ignore the lord’s prayer.
well that just wouldn’t do. so we were assigned detention. every day we dared to so disrespect someone else’s mandated prayer. that would be every damn day. so i wrote an editorial in the school paper calling for a ban on the morning prayer. we receivd dozens and dozens and more dozens of very angry letters in response. my favourite, which i will never forget, “as a good christian, i think you should be shot.”
but that wasn’t where it ended. one girl defended her faith by asking if i was the author of the editorial. when i said yes, she spit in my face. another brave christian fellow followed me to my locker and hit me from behind, slamming me into the metal door and busted my forehead open. i bled like a stuck pig, though the cut was actually very small. i refused to clean up the gore and went to homeroom covered in blood. (i’ve always had a flair for the dramatic)
that morning i told the teacher that i wouldn’t be attending any more detentions for failure to pray on command. i also told him that if there was any further detention for the other kids that i would take the matter to my parents, the local newspaper and if necessary seek an attorney and sue the school and the teacher.
it wasn’t until after i’d made my comments that i agreed to go to the school nurse and get cleaned up. my pal seth decided to come with me. he worked on the yearbook and we grabbed his camera, took several pictures of my sticky mug as well as my locker which had a nice crimson on gray smear where my face had met steel. rather than going to the nurse, we went to the school office to confront the principal.
timing being everything, i was first told that i was being removed from the school paper after many complaints from parents about editorial. i was then told that if i were to create any more fuss, i would be suspended. i was also informed that i was banned from the newspaper office and that all further issues were to be vetted by a staff supervisor before being sent to press.
now, this was pre-computer days and the paper was pasted up. the other co-editor, the amazing and very hot vicki, had agreed with our original decision to run my piece. since i was banned, seth gave her the pictures. after the staff supervisor vetted the next issue, she swapped out an article about the volleyball team and ran a picture of me covered in blood and her own editorial.
of course, she was fired. but after a very angry call from my dad (a sixteen year veteran of the british royal corps of engineers) i received a half-hearted apology from the teacher. the next week, no lord’s prayer. we now started the day with a moment of silent reflection during which we were free to worship, or not, as we pleased.
so happy holidays xmas guys. i got your war on xmas etched into a little scar on my forehead.
“as a good christian, i think you should be shot.”
Any cognitive dissonance inside those skulls? Nope.
“as a good christian, i think you should be shot.”
Any cognitive dissonance inside those skulls? Nope.
Serge, that would require grey matter inside those skulls, first.
This kind of note adds weight to the argument that it is high time for Christians to leave public schools for reasonable alternatives (homeschooling and private Christian schools).”
Homeschooling? Are the christians now cutting-and-running from public schools? What a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys; the culture war is lost.
That’s hilarious, and just what we need to do, fight fire with fire. People in my town keep complaining that they’re more and more uncomfotable at school functions as all these fundie clergy have been sent here. What we really need to do is find our local Wiccans and Satanists and ask them to call the school and demand equal time in performing the blessings. Let’s see how quick the “Aw, suck it up, so what if it’s a public function, you can listen to a sermon without it killing you no matter what your beliefs are” people turn into the guys outside picketing against being indoctrinated at school functions.
The Law of Unintended Consequences is a corrolary of systems theory, the same theory that predicts imminent environmental collapse due to human ignorance and greed.
Pagans revere Nature as the embodiment of the Divine. (See http://www.paganinstitute.org)We believe that everyone is ultimately all part of One Life; what we do to others, we ultimately do to ourselves.
Those who seek to deny our civil liberties will reveal their own agendas and characters; in time, good people will recognize demonization for what it is.
Blessed Be!
Can someone explain to me why “The Wicker Man” (the original version) is so popular among pagans? Been a while, but as i remember it the movie did not present pagans positively (human sacrifice a family value, not so much)- is it just that it depicts pagans at all? Yeah, the festival scenes are kind of cool (if somewhat disoriented and disorienting) but the whole thing is portrayed as sinister. Btw, my wife is a sort of lapsed pagan.
And, though i’m an atheist, the whole nature-worship thing is about as good as religion gets- been to a few pagan gatherings, not a bad scene on the whole, mostly well-meaning and well-doing people looking for something both transcendant and purely positive- i understand why the being-confused-with-satanists mess bothers many pagans (another thing the movie fosters).So, Divine Ms.D.Sidhe, celticgirl, what am i missing?
God has spoken and removed this false prophet from the face of the earth. Praise the Lord.

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