The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Jonah Criswell PREDICTS!

Roy went spelunking in the Corner, and found the Troglodytes-in-Residence giggling about the prospects of Democrats catching a case of teh ghey at the upcoming GLBT debate.  Jonah Goldberg, however, rose above the inherent ickiness of the subject matter to speculate on how the leading intellectuals of blogosphere might react, thus elevating the discourse from a primary school level to the more appropriate standards of junior high, when homosexual panic traditionally reaches its zenith:
Not that I’m endorsing it, but how long until some blogger photoshops the Dem candidates into the guys from the Village People? I say it happens by lunchtime, if it hasn’t already.
Say what you want about the man’s politics, or intelligence, or bookshelves full of hollowed-out reference volumes stuffed with Dolly Madison Zingers…you gotta admit, he’s a visionary:

UPDATE:  Norbiz discusses the likelihood of an attack by Orcs now that “stomach-Kreskin” Michael Chertoff has acquired a plantir!

14 Responses to “Jonah Criswell PREDICTS!”

Heh, I like how his face is all pinky. I see him wagging his hammer like Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski, dancing to the tune of What Condition My Condition Was In…..
The Stossel is a nice touch. Eeew, I meant that figuratively.
“The Stossel Touch”…turns everything into bullshit.
You know that Jonah would have done the Photoshopping himself, except that his ghostwriter was too busy trying to finish the manuscript of Jonah’s book.
Stossel? Wha? Lemme look at that pic again…Holy Smokes! I didn’t even notice John Stossel there, he just blends in and fits into the pic so naturally. Now I love this Photoshop even MORE! It’s like a “Where’s Waldo”, thing: “Where’s Stossel?”
Just read in the local fishwrapper (L. A. Times, yestiddy, I think) that Victor Willis, the cop, is hitting the road again (touring, he hasn’t been evicted, though maybe he was so close to eviction he figured he’d better try to grub up some $$$).
Perhaps J. Jonah Goldberg, w/ his current goatee, & perpetual pantload, can go along as the token bear in the band.
What? Don’t look at me like that.
Or planter.
J. Jonah’s bio from the L. A. Times website:
“Jonah Goldberg is one of the most prominent young conservative journalists on the scene today. His column, syndicated by Tribune Media Services, offers shrewd analysis on a wide range of subjects, from political philosophy and economic trends to popular culture, with an entertaining writing style that speaks to a whole new generation.
With keen wit and hard-hitting insight, Goldberg brings a fresh perspective to the typical right-left debate, by rejecting party lines, talking points and stale clichés. He is the 2001 winner of the prestigious Lowell Thomas Award.
Goldberg’s columns and articles have rapidly generated a large readership. A member of the USA Today Board of Contributors, Goldberg is a contributing editor for National Review and founding editor of “National Review Online,” for which he writes a popular feature, “The Goldberg File.” He is a former columnist and contributing editor for Brill’s Content and former media critic for The American Enterprise. He also served as Washington columnist for the Times of London. Goldberg has written about politics and culture for the New Yorker, the Wall Street Journal, Commentary, the Public Interest, the Wilson Quarterly, the Weekly Standard, Slate,, New York Post, Women’s Quarterly and Food and Wine.
Goldberg has appeared on “Good Morning America,” “Larry King Live,” “Today,” “Nightline,” “Hardball with Chris Matthews,” “Politically Incorrect,” “Special Report with Brit Hume,” “Geraldo,” “NBC Nightly News” and numerous other television and radio programs. He was senior producer of the award-winning series “Think Tank with Ben Wattenberg” on PBS.”
“Shrewd analysis.” “Speaks to a whole new generation.” Bio written by an intern in the P. R. Dep’t.
But I would love to see what he’s written for “Food & Wine.” Something along the lines of which screw-top wines go best w/ which delicious snack foods, I’m sure, to suck that “whole new generation” into the Food and Wine orbit. Yum!
“Red or White Cranberry Juice With Pizza Rolls? Snobbery’s Not Just For Oenophiles Anymore”.
Hm. If you Photoshop in a photo of Hillary onto the Village People, does that make her gay, or straighter?
Not that I’m endorsing it, but how long until a blogger photoshops Jonah Goldberg’s mother’s ass onto his face.
Oh, wait….
How would you prove it?
Now I love this Photoshop even MORE! It’s like a “Where’s Waldo”, thing: “Where’s Stossel?”
But, really, mary–would anyone want to find him? (Sadly, No!)

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