Longtime readers will remember the days when tough, streetwise preacher Doug Giles (think Pat Boone in The Cross and the Switchblade) and student-diddling academic Dr. Professor Mike Adams (think Mary Kay LeTourneau with a whinier voice. And a smaller penis) were the Damon and Pythias of third tier wingnuts. Back then, these two would routinely leave their emasculating spouses and seek refuge up on Brokeback Mountain, where they would reclaim their manliness by breathing deep of each other’s unshowered muskiness and then shooting some lethargic ruminants in a petting zoo.
We don’t know what happened to sunder this bond, once so tight and seamless they were practically conjoined, but it may have had something to do with that chronic erectile dysfunction Dr. Professor Mike is always complaining about. Nevertheless, Doug and Dr. Mike both have columns in Townhall, and although their subjects are superficially different, there is a spiritual oneness to them, an increasing unity of soul and purpose so striking that you can almost see the two of them crawling toward each other, gut-shot, but flirty, like Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones at the end of Duel in the Sun.
What has occasioned this renewed confluence of manly essence? Well, it seems that lately, both Doug and Dr. Professor Mike have decided to go out of their way to be jerks. But which of these earnest young swains will be the first to drop the mask and bare his true feelings? That’s where you come in. For this week, you are judge and jury of the First Annual Doug Giles/Dr. Professor Mike S. Adams Pro-Am Gran Prix Invitational Jerk-Off!
Let’s begin with Doug, shall we?
But what are the definitive signs that we’ve transitioned from the United States of America to The United States of Sassy Secularism? One, I suppose, would be when Congress replaces the clergy-led opening prayer with a ritual call to tax the churches, and instead of “Amen,” the Invocation would end with all the distinguished members murmuring, “Kiss my grits!”
At least, I think that’s what Doug is saying. As a former pusher, he clearly has access to better drugs than I do (and he gets the employee discount, to boot.)
Next up: Dr. Professor Mike.
We don’t know what happened to sunder this bond, once so tight and seamless they were practically conjoined, but it may have had something to do with that chronic erectile dysfunction Dr. Professor Mike is always complaining about. Nevertheless, Doug and Dr. Mike both have columns in Townhall, and although their subjects are superficially different, there is a spiritual oneness to them, an increasing unity of soul and purpose so striking that you can almost see the two of them crawling toward each other, gut-shot, but flirty, like Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones at the end of Duel in the Sun.
What has occasioned this renewed confluence of manly essence? Well, it seems that lately, both Doug and Dr. Professor Mike have decided to go out of their way to be jerks. But which of these earnest young swains will be the first to drop the mask and bare his true feelings? That’s where you come in. For this week, you are judge and jury of the First Annual Doug Giles/Dr. Professor Mike S. Adams Pro-Am Gran Prix Invitational Jerk-Off!
Let’s begin with Doug, shall we?
For the last 40 years, there has been a belligerent, systematic secularization of the United States by the liberal thought cops.Last 40 years? Don’t be such a pussy, Doug! You ask me, the systematic secularization got belligerant before there even was a United States, when Massachusetts Governor William Phipps started outlawing spectral evidence in witch trials.
A myopic Cyclops can see this.Although, like Doug, the Cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception.
Of the many mental things the secularist suffers from…Remember when “secularism,” like homosexuality, was classified as a psychiatric disorder by the APA? Those were the days. It made things so much easier when we had to have my Grandma committed because of her complaints about our Christmas tree still being up in March. Nana kept bitching about some mythical ”fire hazard,” never realizing the real hazard was the Lake of Eternal Fire she was going to find her withered ass roasting in if she didn’t stop trying to secularize our living room!
…two primary pains motivate [the secularist] to work against the universe: 1) a repulsion towards God and 2) a massive American History memory loss.Just curious, but can you actually be repulsed toward something? Maybe he meant “revulsion,” but I don’t want to put words in Doug’s mouth, primarily because it looks like he’s already got at least one foot in there, and I’d probably need a ramrod.
Being saddled with these sicknesses, instead of seeking healing or having an exorcism…“I always thought I genuinely concerned about maintaining civil rights and guaranteeing religious freedom for all by supporting the Constitutional separation of church and state. Turns out, I was just infested with demons.”
…they have chosen rather to create a new United States of Sassy Secularists in which the traditionalist is kicked to the curb and their novel material girls get to govern.
But what are the definitive signs that we’ve transitioned from the United States of America to The United States of Sassy Secularism? One, I suppose, would be when Congress replaces the clergy-led opening prayer with a ritual call to tax the churches, and instead of “Amen,” the Invocation would end with all the distinguished members murmuring, “Kiss my grits!”
To accomplish the creation of the USSS, they have become busy monkeys…See, they’re monkeys because the secularists believe in evolution. See how Doug’s prose operates on several levels at once?
…trying to level authorities, rewrite records, become judge and jury of all things everywhere, homogenize cultures, pimp style over substance and deify power while they prop up the “victims of the system” to drive their imagined American magic bus.Personally, I think “victims of the system” should be allowed to “die” and “reduce the surplus population.” But if you’re one of these granny dress-wearing, Annie Greensprings-sippers who insists on wearing flowers in your hair when you go to San Francisco, and you’re forced to take imaginary public transportation, then I would urge you to avoid hallucinating buses between the hours of 7 and 9 AM, because it’s almost impossible to get a magic seat.
At least, I think that’s what Doug is saying. As a former pusher, he clearly has access to better drugs than I do (and he gets the employee discount, to boot.)
On Planet Secularity where truth is dead, muscle-power becomes the operative standard of speech. The results are cultic conformity and group bullying.Which, as we all know, is exactly the opposite of the kind of thing you find in a theocracy.
The chief orgasmic goal of the secular sellers of societal swill……is alliteration?
…is to create a rock-solid environment of political correctness—with the intended end being the cowing of people who might rustle their feathers by not parroting their already tried (and been found wanting) opinions.Wait. The ultimate goal of people who want to preserve the separation of church and state is to steal feathers from parrots?
They can’t allow people to speak and free think, because the realist and the truth dealer would pee on their little party.Later, when Doug was busted for dealing truth, the amount found on him was far below the threshold for trafficking, and he was let go with a warning. He did, however, get a ticket for public urination.
Therefore, the person who champions a traditional view of truth (not propaganda), who stands for the historical record (not the hysterical read) and who believes that biblically based, previously proven and transcendent standards should continue to serve as an external pattern to govern our nation’s character will endure more scorn than Ted Nugent, Rush Limbaugh and me crashing Rosie’s “Lesbians Only” plus size pool party.Oh I wouldn’t feel so scorned and despised, Doug. Between Rush’s pendulous man-boobs and your plucked and moussed metrosexuality, you two could probably pass for a couple at most lesbian only pool parties, especially if you arrived late, after everyone was already hammered on margaritas.
The faithful traditionalist who loves God and the way this nation was originally constituted will stand up against this hijacking of our nation by the secularists.Even now, they’re planning to catch James Madison after Sixth Period and Snicker-snag on him behind the gym.
The traditionalist who’s worth his salt will not put on ButtSmacker lip balm and kiss the chunky backside of the secularists when they jam it in his face for an acquiescing smooch. No sir. No way. Not now. Not ever.Well, as defiant last words go, it’s not exactly Nathan Hale’s, “I regret that I have but one life to give for my country,” but it’s nice that Doug cares enough about his impending martyrdom to plan ahead.
Next up: Dr. Professor Mike.
59 Responses to “Baby Got Brokeback”
Oh, my sweet Lordy-Gordy. The saddest thing about this guy is that he actually THINKS he’s funny. But he’s not.
No sir. No way. Not now. Not ever.
And you’re telling me Mikey’s got a similarly themed column?
What sort of drugs alleviate this?
Or would a few minutes of gay porn work?
‘Cause sometimes I think that would help Dougie. It certainly couldn’t warp him any further.
No sir. No way. Not now. Not ever.
And you’re telling me Mikey’s got a similarly themed column?
What sort of drugs alleviate this?
Or would a few minutes of gay porn work?
‘Cause sometimes I think that would help Dougie. It certainly couldn’t warp him any further.
‘Among the many mental things the secularist suffers from…’
What delightful prose.
‘The chief orgasmic goal of the secular sellers of societal swill…’
And nattering nabobs of negativity, natch.
I skimmed the article, and I’m unable to find any hint of research or actual data. Seriously, I know that they call it “opinion” for a reason, but this isn’t even opinion. It’s just a mishmash of loosely relevant conjecture and vilification. It’s information-free, cookie-cutter “opinion” that he clearly pounded out in 30 minutes after watching The View for a couple minutes.
It isn’t even funny in the “look, let’s point and laugh” way that his frantic assertions of manhood are. If he’s being paid for this, I will present that as absolute and final proof against the existence of a benevolent deity.
Group question: is that “material girls” non sequitur a mangled reference to the “Breck Girl” slur on John Edwards? That’s all I can think of.
What delightful prose.
‘The chief orgasmic goal of the secular sellers of societal swill…’
And nattering nabobs of negativity, natch.
I skimmed the article, and I’m unable to find any hint of research or actual data. Seriously, I know that they call it “opinion” for a reason, but this isn’t even opinion. It’s just a mishmash of loosely relevant conjecture and vilification. It’s information-free, cookie-cutter “opinion” that he clearly pounded out in 30 minutes after watching The View for a couple minutes.
It isn’t even funny in the “look, let’s point and laugh” way that his frantic assertions of manhood are. If he’s being paid for this, I will present that as absolute and final proof against the existence of a benevolent deity.
Group question: is that “material girls” non sequitur a mangled reference to the “Breck Girl” slur on John Edwards? That’s all I can think of.
I love the last sentence:
Rather, the hardy traditionalist, while humming the words to Twisted Sister’s hit song, “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” will continue to speak out, work hard and self sacrifice in order to preserve classic traditional America values.
Dee Snider’s words are as true today as they were in his time.
Rather, the hardy traditionalist, while humming the words to Twisted Sister’s hit song, “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” will continue to speak out, work hard and self sacrifice in order to preserve classic traditional America values.
Dee Snider’s words are as true today as they were in his time.
I did some editing for Dr. Mike as it seems his quit last wednesday as he got tired of not getting reimbursed for the Butt Smacker Lip Balm Dr. Mike is so fond of having him wear.
*********
belligerent, systematic secularization
A myopic Cyclops can see this.
Of the many mental things
to work against the universe:
Being saddled with
or having an exorcism…
Sassy Secularists in which the traditionalist is kicked
novel material girls get to govern.
they have become busy monkeys…
level authorities, rewrite records,
pimp style
power while they prop
drive their imagined American magic bus.
Planet Secularity
where truth is dead
cultic conformity and group bullying
chief orgasmic goal
a rock-solid environment
the intended end
being the cowing
people
who might rustle their feathers
parroting their already tried
can’t allow people to speak and free think
pee on their little party.
the person who
champions
stands
believes
proven and transcendent
serve as an external pattern
plus size pool party
faithful traditionalist
originally constituted
hijacking
worth his salt
put on ButtSmacker lip balm
kiss the chunky backside
jam it in his face
acquiescing smooch
*********
belligerent, systematic secularization
A myopic Cyclops can see this.
Of the many mental things
to work against the universe:
Being saddled with
or having an exorcism…
Sassy Secularists in which the traditionalist is kicked
novel material girls get to govern.
they have become busy monkeys…
level authorities, rewrite records,
pimp style
power while they prop
drive their imagined American magic bus.
Planet Secularity
where truth is dead
cultic conformity and group bullying
chief orgasmic goal
a rock-solid environment
the intended end
being the cowing
people
who might rustle their feathers
parroting their already tried
can’t allow people to speak and free think
pee on their little party.
the person who
champions
stands
believes
proven and transcendent
serve as an external pattern
plus size pool party
faithful traditionalist
originally constituted
hijacking
worth his salt
put on ButtSmacker lip balm
kiss the chunky backside
jam it in his face
acquiescing smooch
The chief orgasmic goal of the secular sellers of societal swill is to create a rock-solid environment of political correctness—with the intended end being the cowing of people who might rustle their feathers by not parroting their already tried (and been found wanting) opinions.
As is the norm, Bingo invokes “politically correct” incorrectly–to indicate an ultraliberal nightmare where a white boy can no longer have any fun doing things to others.
Naturally, whenever it’s socially acceptable (and that’s what Bingo really means) to force everyone else to tolerate his assorted abuses, Bingo was and will be silent on Teh Horrors Of Political Correctness.
As is the norm, Bingo invokes “politically correct” incorrectly–to indicate an ultraliberal nightmare where a white boy can no longer have any fun doing things to others.
Naturally, whenever it’s socially acceptable (and that’s what Bingo really means) to force everyone else to tolerate his assorted abuses, Bingo was and will be silent on Teh Horrors Of Political Correctness.
they prop up the “victims of the system” to drive their imagined American magic bus.
I thought the victims were supposed to be propped up against the parapets, to give the impression to the marauding Arabs that Fort Zinderneuf is still well-garrisoned. Mr Giles has no respect for tradition.
I thought the victims were supposed to be propped up against the parapets, to give the impression to the marauding Arabs that Fort Zinderneuf is still well-garrisoned. Mr Giles has no respect for tradition.
And I just want to say that if I were writing an article about “Orgasmic secrets of the secular sellers of societal swill”, then it would provide many suggestions — involving skin-tight black leather cat-suits, and one of those hand-held airport metal-detector wands. But “a rock-solid environment of political correctness” would not be on the list.
kate, not to nitpick, but it’s Doug Giles, not Dr. Mike. It’s an easy mistake, as their brands of assholery are hard to tell apart to the untrained eye.
Lots of simplistic, hateful, blamestormed, demagoguery cut with no self-examination what-so-ever. That’s some pure stuff he’s selling from his street corner 
The stupid! It buuurrrrrnnnnnnsssss!
“Orgasmic secrets of the secular sellers of societal swill”
That is the title of my latest work starring Jenna Jameson and introducing Atlas Pam as the naive and reluctent yet spunky member of the dominatrixes against islamo-terror, Out on DVD this fall.
I AM SO GONNA SUE!
That is the title of my latest work starring Jenna Jameson and introducing Atlas Pam as the naive and reluctent yet spunky member of the dominatrixes against islamo-terror, Out on DVD this fall.
I AM SO GONNA SUE!
this was one of my fav’s
“Because it is in the Bible doesn’t mean it has God’s stamp of approval, it is what there was to deal with.”
excuse me? what was that? not gods word?
bwa ha ha ha.
the obviously still havent found the door to the echo chamber over at townhall
“Because it is in the Bible doesn’t mean it has God’s stamp of approval, it is what there was to deal with.”
excuse me? what was that? not gods word?
bwa ha ha ha.
the obviously still havent found the door to the echo chamber over at townhall
“Orgasmic secrets of the secular sellers of societal swill”
I hear thats also the title of ‘randy ray comforts’ debut xxx movie – but with bananas.
better get to the lawyers office quickly
I hear thats also the title of ‘randy ray comforts’ debut xxx movie – but with bananas.
better get to the lawyers office quickly
See how Doug’s prose operates on several levels at once?
Lackwitted, cretinous, and incoherent all at the same time!!!1!
Such versatility and range.
Lackwitted, cretinous, and incoherent all at the same time!!!1!
Such versatility and range.
I don’t know if there’s some way of nominating crap for your lovely site but personally I think people getting excited about Larry Flynt exposing a few Republicans is pretty crap
(Phil Ken Sebben voice) Self-prrrrrrrrrrrromotion!
Giles. Didn’t he used to be on the radio in California a couple of years back? Turned out he enlisted in the Marines, touted that his patriotic credentials but opted out just before Desert Storm.
Thanks for the correction Bill, yes distinguishing any wingnut from another can be quite a task for uninitiated. Like choosing ‘daisy’ from ‘butternut’ at the paint chip booth, hell, when on the wall, the effect is pretty much the same.
“Gut-shot, but flirty” would be a good name for a rock band.
On Planet Secularity where truth is dead, muscle-power becomes the operative standard of speech.
As compensation, we get nice uniforms and neurodisruptor© ray-guns. Our Interstellar Invasion Forces are the envy of the rest of the Federation of Worlds. Hail Mongo!
As compensation, we get nice uniforms and neurodisruptor© ray-guns. Our Interstellar Invasion Forces are the envy of the rest of the Federation of Worlds. Hail Mongo!
“Of the many mental things the secularist suffers from…”
My personal mental thing is rational thought, & it especially suffers after reading crap like that.
My personal mental thing is rational thought, & it especially suffers after reading crap like that.
First Annual Doug Giles/Dr. Professor Mike S. Adams Pro-Am Gran Prix Invitational Jerk-Off!
shouldn’t that be “First Annual Doug Giles/Dr. Professor Mike S. Adams PhD Pro-Am Gran Pricks Invitational Jerk-Off?”
shouldn’t that be “First Annual Doug Giles/Dr. Professor Mike S. Adams PhD Pro-Am Gran Pricks Invitational Jerk-Off?”
Cruella,
Personally, I think assholes like you need to go to hell.
Porn may be disgusting shit but it’s the price we pay for freedom of speech.
Yay! You mad motherfuckerflynt.
Personally, I think assholes like you need to go to hell.
Porn may be disgusting shit but it’s the price we pay for freedom of speech.
Yay! You mad motherfuckerflynt.
I am very excited about what Mr. Flynt has to say about the various politicians he has info on. I hopehopehopehope Lieberman is one of them. I just *love* a good sex-scandal. Who amongst us does not?
Kathy.
Honey.
One favor?
Please please PUH-HUH-HUH-LEEEEEEAAAZE don’t EVER use the words “Joe Lieberman” and SEX in the same paragraph or thought/concept ever ever EVER again!!!!!!!
As if Doug weren’t enough to have me puking up my toenails from his sheer, pud-floggingly-crazy, outright ABUSE of the English language — you had to put THAT picture INTO MY HEAD!!!!!!
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over in the corner, chewing on my hair, dunking myself into the clorox vat, y’know, the usual.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SHUDDER!!!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Honey.
One favor?
Please please PUH-HUH-HUH-LEEEEEEAAAZE don’t EVER use the words “Joe Lieberman” and SEX in the same paragraph or thought/concept ever ever EVER again!!!!!!!
As if Doug weren’t enough to have me puking up my toenails from his sheer, pud-floggingly-crazy, outright ABUSE of the English language — you had to put THAT picture INTO MY HEAD!!!!!!
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over in the corner, chewing on my hair, dunking myself into the clorox vat, y’know, the usual.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SHUDDER!!!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Matter of fact, after viewing the ABORTION of a “column” above, I’m pretty well convinced that the reason that Giles’ sickening excuse for “prose” is THAT fucking DEMENTED is that he’s grasping his teeny peeny with thumb and forefinger and yanking it for all its worth (which ain’t much) WHILE HE’S TYPING WITH THE OTHER HAND.
How else could anybody construct such NIGHTMARE CLUSTERFUCKS of ABYSMAL EXCUSES FOR “LOGIC” AS HIS — and still spell most of the words correctly?!??!?!
How else could anybody construct such NIGHTMARE CLUSTERFUCKS of ABYSMAL EXCUSES FOR “LOGIC” AS HIS — and still spell most of the words correctly?!??!?!
Cruella
well at least Flynt is completely open about himself. We know what his deal is.
and whats wrong with exposing hypocrisy?
You may not like the messenger, which is fair enough. But does that lessen the message?
We need to remember the context that Mr Flynt makes these statements. Conservatives have often taken him to task for what he does, hes just pointing out that his accusers are no better than him.
If his underlying message is “im sparkly clean and your a dirty sinner” then you might be able to complain about what he does in the context of this issue.
However im guessing that his message is more of the “im a dirty sinner, but youre a dirty sinning hypocrite” variety
Gotta love the self promotion tho
well at least Flynt is completely open about himself. We know what his deal is.
and whats wrong with exposing hypocrisy?
You may not like the messenger, which is fair enough. But does that lessen the message?
We need to remember the context that Mr Flynt makes these statements. Conservatives have often taken him to task for what he does, hes just pointing out that his accusers are no better than him.
If his underlying message is “im sparkly clean and your a dirty sinner” then you might be able to complain about what he does in the context of this issue.
However im guessing that his message is more of the “im a dirty sinner, but youre a dirty sinning hypocrite” variety
Gotta love the self promotion tho
Annti: I was imagining Lieberman in diapers. Visualise that!
First,
an increasing unity of soul and purpose so striking that you can almost see the two of them crawling toward each other, gut-shot, but flirty, like Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones at the end of Duel in the Sun.
deserves to be in the next Bartlett’s, and if it were up to me the entire Internet thing would close down this weekend except for this piece.
Buttsmacking aside, has anyone checked on the Clash Church site lately? I’d been remiss. Doug’s rebranded again; the place looks like a dating service ad. He’s back selling his artwork up front (it has come and gone from the site like a fever chart; when he was still Doug Giles, Bad Motorscooter ex-drug dealer who spoke the teen’s lingo, it was the apparent source of his claim to having become a successful entrepreneur between finding the Lord and starting his pastorin’ gig. When he was rebranded as the Baddest Lesbian in Miami he hid it behind his back real quick for a while.) And now it includes not just the infamous Jesus Revealed Himself to Me, and Truth Be Told, He Could Use a Good Bikini Waxing (sorry, sold) but also male and female nudes. Which is, y’know, fine by me but I wouldn’t send my slacking teens within a mile of him.
And he’s still shockin’ the Flock in Conference Room C at the Exit 45 Motel in Aventura, which is a mite peculiar seeing as how over the past five years every licensed beggar in my neck of the woods has built himself a tax-free mini-mall.
an increasing unity of soul and purpose so striking that you can almost see the two of them crawling toward each other, gut-shot, but flirty, like Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones at the end of Duel in the Sun.
deserves to be in the next Bartlett’s, and if it were up to me the entire Internet thing would close down this weekend except for this piece.
Buttsmacking aside, has anyone checked on the Clash Church site lately? I’d been remiss. Doug’s rebranded again; the place looks like a dating service ad. He’s back selling his artwork up front (it has come and gone from the site like a fever chart; when he was still Doug Giles, Bad Motorscooter ex-drug dealer who spoke the teen’s lingo, it was the apparent source of his claim to having become a successful entrepreneur between finding the Lord and starting his pastorin’ gig. When he was rebranded as the Baddest Lesbian in Miami he hid it behind his back real quick for a while.) And now it includes not just the infamous Jesus Revealed Himself to Me, and Truth Be Told, He Could Use a Good Bikini Waxing (sorry, sold) but also male and female nudes. Which is, y’know, fine by me but I wouldn’t send my slacking teens within a mile of him.
And he’s still shockin’ the Flock in Conference Room C at the Exit 45 Motel in Aventura, which is a mite peculiar seeing as how over the past five years every licensed beggar in my neck of the woods has built himself a tax-free mini-mall.
Jesus Revealed Himself to Me, and Truth Be Told, He Could Use a Good Bikini Waxing
Speaking of Bartletts…
And speaking of Pastor Doug’s magnum opus, “Savior mit Schwartzwald und bratwurst,” I can only quote the MST3K version of Manos The Hands of Fate:
“Thy rod and thy staff discomfort me…”
Speaking of Bartletts…
And speaking of Pastor Doug’s magnum opus, “Savior mit Schwartzwald und bratwurst,” I can only quote the MST3K version of Manos The Hands of Fate:
“Thy rod and thy staff discomfort me…”
Sweet Zombie Jesus! From LGFWatch…
http://tinyurl.com/35ulcj
CSPAN-2 @ 8:18AM
Sen. James Inhofe, R-Oklahoma
“…and these joint security stations, where our troops, instead of coming back to the Green Zone, will stay over there, and bed down with the Iraqi security forces, and develop intimate relations with them, and learn to love each other….”
We had to rewind the DVR a couple of times to make sure he said this. We’re not sure most Americans want our brave men and women bedding down with the Iraqi security forces. Hopefully, some “journalist” will ask him to explain.
http://tinyurl.com/35ulcj
CSPAN-2 @ 8:18AM
Sen. James Inhofe, R-Oklahoma
“…and these joint security stations, where our troops, instead of coming back to the Green Zone, will stay over there, and bed down with the Iraqi security forces, and develop intimate relations with them, and learn to love each other….”
We had to rewind the DVR a couple of times to make sure he said this. We’re not sure most Americans want our brave men and women bedding down with the Iraqi security forces. Hopefully, some “journalist” will ask him to explain.
Oh, Kathy, NOBODY wants to visualize that. ;(
“secular sellers of societal swill…”
He sounds like he is channeling Spiro Agnew.
He sounds like he is channeling Spiro Agnew.
The saddest thing about this guy is that he actually THINKS he’s funny. But he’s not.
Maybe not in the exact way he intended, but come on now! The sheer earnest effort he puts into it, combined with the gawdawful results…how is this not comedy gold?
Maybe not in the exact way he intended, but come on now! The sheer earnest effort he puts into it, combined with the gawdawful results…how is this not comedy gold?
They can’t allow people to speak and free think
Has Giles been taking writing lessons from Pastor Swank?
Has Giles been taking writing lessons from Pastor Swank?
en. James Inhofe, R-Oklahoma
“…and these joint security stations, where our troops, instead of coming back to the Green Zone, will stay over there, and bed down with the Iraqi security forces, and develop intimate relations with them, and learn to love each other….”
but will they be able to go to the bathroom together?
“…and these joint security stations, where our troops, instead of coming back to the Green Zone, will stay over there, and bed down with the Iraqi security forces, and develop intimate relations with them, and learn to love each other….”
but will they be able to go to the bathroom together?
Columns like this frustrate me. I read them (well, not this one, but I could have) and I am convinced of the error of my secular ways. I WANT to do what Doug wants me to do. Um, at least I THINK I do. But I can’t tell what that is. I want to follow his prescription. But he fails to offer one. I want to leave my wicked buttsmacking ways behind, but he gives me no guidance.
Indeed, the sentences (in many cases) make sense, but they don’t go together to form a coherent essay. It doesn’t educate, it doesn’t inform, it doesn’t instruct. I’m still an orgasmic secular purveyor of perversion, because he couldn’t find a way to say what I should do.
Dammit…
mikey
Indeed, the sentences (in many cases) make sense, but they don’t go together to form a coherent essay. It doesn’t educate, it doesn’t inform, it doesn’t instruct. I’m still an orgasmic secular purveyor of perversion, because he couldn’t find a way to say what I should do.
Dammit…
mikey
Y’know, Kathy, you have a perverse sadistic streak that I don’t think that I like very much.
And coming from me, you KNOW that it’s bad.
And coming from me, you KNOW that it’s bad.
I prefer to think of Joe Liebermann as a furry, maybe in a big crotchless bunny suit, mistaking a biker bar during a Hell’s Angels’ reunion for a leather bar….
I’m continually baffled by the fact that guys like Giles seem to think that the Americas didn’t exist until they rose out of the ocean to meet Columbus like some kind of reverse Atlantis.
I mean, to me, I sort of think that Native American traditions constitute American tradition as much if not moreso then white Christian ones.
It’s not like the existence of Native Americans is a big secret or something.
I mean, to me, I sort of think that Native American traditions constitute American tradition as much if not moreso then white Christian ones.
It’s not like the existence of Native Americans is a big secret or something.
Ugh. I totally forgot who Mary Kay LeTourneau was, and clicked on the link. Okay…this screwy bitch can get legally married and raise two kids…but I’M the fucking threat to traditional families if I wanna do the same thing? ‘Scuse me, I gotta go barf.
This is all about the First Amendment. Let’s not follow the gov’t down the path of censorship. After all, censorship is becoming America’s favorite past-time. The US gov’t (and their corporate friends), already detain protesters, ban books like “America Deceived” from Amazon and Wikipedia, shut down Imus and fire 21-year tenured, BYU physics professor Steven Jones because he proved explosives, thermite in particular, took down the WTC buildings. Free Speech forever.
Last link (before Stark County District Library caves to pressure and drops the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0
Last link (before Stark County District Library caves to pressure and drops the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0
Paul, I don’t find Imus to fall in as a martyr of free speech. Free speech has nothing to do with people who traditionally have had more privilege and access using said access to continue to oppress those unlike themselves (female, non-het, non-white).
I’m tired of such people hiding their bigotry behind the flag, sorry, it don’t wash.
I’m tired of such people hiding their bigotry behind the flag, sorry, it don’t wash.
Wow, Pastor Artist Doug has a novel way of cribbing from Salvador Dali, doesn’t he!
And what’s with the twisty sausagey fingers on Jesus (unless that’s what Scott meant by “bratwurst”)? As a fellow artist, I surmise that Doug went for plentiful pubic hair so he could, sort of, opt out of the Divine Endowment problem by resorting to one midsize blob amongst the foliage – but then he got frustrated and decided to give poor Jesus ten, count ‘em, 10 long thick appendages. The twisting, twining effect may be an hommage to the Matthias Grunewald crucifixion, come to think of it. Ol’ Doug sure knows his wacky Western Tradition of Torment, right enough.
And what’s with the twisty sausagey fingers on Jesus (unless that’s what Scott meant by “bratwurst”)? As a fellow artist, I surmise that Doug went for plentiful pubic hair so he could, sort of, opt out of the Divine Endowment problem by resorting to one midsize blob amongst the foliage – but then he got frustrated and decided to give poor Jesus ten, count ‘em, 10 long thick appendages. The twisting, twining effect may be an hommage to the Matthias Grunewald crucifixion, come to think of it. Ol’ Doug sure knows his wacky Western Tradition of Torment, right enough.
Kate — psst! Don’t feed the concern trolls… It only encourages them…
And “Woodrowfan,” you need to go take those images back to LGF, where they belong. If ever there was a gang-bang of sexually-frustrated freaks, that’s them.
Largely, what mikey said–with the significant difference that I have absolutely zero desire to do what Dougy G. wants, even in jest.
Jeepers, that was about the most incoherent DG has ever been, and it’s not like comprehensibility has ever been his strong suit! Lame-o pop culture references are his rather pathetic signature florish, and so, to answer the question about the “material girls” reference, it’s probably an early Madonna allusion. Really sad, though not as much as the alliteration.
And what IS it with these ignorant goddamned so-called “christians” who seem to think that the separation of church and state is some diabolical creation of the twentieth century? Are they actually that dense? It certainly points out a failing of home schooling. Not liking it, they simply *wish* it away! I have half a mind to let these morons get rid of it… then they’d be sorry!
But not half as sorry as me!
Jeepers, that was about the most incoherent DG has ever been, and it’s not like comprehensibility has ever been his strong suit! Lame-o pop culture references are his rather pathetic signature florish, and so, to answer the question about the “material girls” reference, it’s probably an early Madonna allusion. Really sad, though not as much as the alliteration.
And what IS it with these ignorant goddamned so-called “christians” who seem to think that the separation of church and state is some diabolical creation of the twentieth century? Are they actually that dense? It certainly points out a failing of home schooling. Not liking it, they simply *wish* it away! I have half a mind to let these morons get rid of it… then they’d be sorry!
But not half as sorry as me!
Oh, and going by the “quality” of Dougy G.’s entry, I’m absolutely dreading anticipating with great curiosity Dr. Professor Mike’s column!
Or, not.
Or, not.
Well, Marq, considering it’s been three days since this post went up, scott must be less than easger to suffer through it himself. Unless he did and he’s still trying to recover. Is it possible Mikey wrote something so jaw-droppingly stupid scott needed a few days to regain his strength?
eager, not “easger”. danm tyops.
Please do not write anything like this again. The tears are still running down my cheeks and my sides are aching. Bravo!
When I think about it, it’s not that the “big, bad seclarists” hate God. It’s just that society is sick of the Aryan Jesus the Neo-Cons and their types have been hiding behind all these years. The kind of god that loves war and ignorance, but hates sex and logic. The one that only stops hating certain people (Blacks, Irish, etc) just because it’s no longer profitable for his televangelists. Screams about the sanctity of life but then tells the kid to go fuck themself after they’re no longer a fetus. Holds a grudge just because two naked idiots made a mistake millions of years ago. Or cares more about a self-rightous, bloody apocalypse than what is going on now. That is the God society, deep down, is sick of and would be better off without.
Is it possible Mikey wrote something so jaw-droppingly stupid scott needed a few days to regain his strength?
Yes.
Yes.
Oh please, please never again associate the phrase, “jaw-droppingly” and Doug Giles. Please! And, don’t get any “funny ideas” about attaching it to Dr. Professor Mike Adams, either!
How… does every”body” like my ‘neW” KaYe GrOgA”n’ “{“writing”}” “style?”
“Stone-cold sober,” my wide, white, gelatinous, tattooed ass, Marq.
Um, I didn’t say that anywhere in this thread, Annti….
Yeahhhh, but you said it RECENTLY, before your most recent re-visit to the hospital. So nyeh, it still counts.
How ya feelin’, anyway, babe?
How ya feelin’, anyway, babe?
I feel what’s termed “OK for me,” which would be fairly shitty for most, but is OK for me. My pulled back muscle is fading, so that’s nice. There are other neck and back pains, but they aren’t my main pains at teh moment. As far as “stone-cold sober” goes, I haven’t had a drink in months. Of course, I haven’t really had much oportunity to drink, unless I wanted to buy something at teh grocery store and sit around the house alone, drinking. I actually view drinking as more of a social thing, so I don’t tend to do that. I’m hoping that there’s some tomfoolery involving open bars at the YearlyKos, since I’m closeby and going. It’ll be like an oversized Drinking Liberally. (if any politicians are reading this, I can be plied with liquor!)
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