Longtime Wo’C companion Bill S. was crazy enough to read World Net Daily’s take on I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and kind enough to send us his considered, and considerably snarky, thoughts. Take it away, Bill!
The recent Adam Sandler-Kevin James comedy I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry opened last weekend, finishing #1 at the box office. I haven’t seen it, but judging from the trailer, it appeares to be an innocuous, if stupid movie that combines two very old plot devices: the Marriage of Convenience (which I can trace as far back as 1936′s Libeled Lady, but it might be older) and the Straight Guy Pretending To Be Gay (which goes at least as far back as 1959′s Pillow Talk. The irony is not lost on me). It doesn’t look teribly promising, but I have a friend who’s a Sandler fan so I might end up seeing it (I survived Wild Hogs, so don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll survive this). There’s a good reason to go see it-according to Dr. Ted Beahr of WorldNutDaily, it’s (clutch your pearls, folks) “1 of the most anti-Christian films of the year”
“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” stars Adam Sandler, Kevin James and Jessica Biel in one of the most blatant politically correct, anti-Christian movies of the year. Well, considering the negative stereotyping of Asian Americans, I don’t know how blatantly P.C. it is. Promoting itself as a comedy about two straight fireman who get married in order to receive better pension benefits, the movie is nothing more than anti-Christian, pro-homosexual propaganda that attacks the traditional, Judeo-Christian moral values of American Culture. Which I’m guessing include denying gay couples pension benefits. Chuck (Adam Sandler) and Larry (Kevin James) are two New York firemen who have been friends forever. When Larry saves Chuck’s life, Chuck says he is indebted to Larry and will do anything for him. Wow, what an affront to traditionial values! Larry, a widower, has two children of which he is the sole provider. Because of a flaw in the system, if something were to happen to Larry, his children would not receive any of his pension benefits. Only Larry’s “spouse” may receive the benfits. Can somebody please tell me why wingnuts are so free with the scare quotes? So, after seeing a newspaper article about same-sex marriages and pension benefits, Laary asks Chuck, who has a well-known reputation as a ladies man, to marry him. Their arrangement is nothing more than a ruse at first-that is, of course, until the fraud department decides to look into their domestic partnership. And then it stops being a ruse and they fall in love, like the couple in Green Card. Oh, wait… Chuck and Larry rush off to Canada to get married so that their partnership looks legitamite, and Chuck moves in with Larry and his kids. Soon,the two hire themselves a lawyer, Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel)
From the looks of her, she graduated from the David E. Kelly Sexy Attorney school. This, of course, proves to be the biggest test of their “marriage” because Chuck is attracted to Alex. As reports of their “marriage” surface, Chuck and Larry find themselves at the center of a whirlwind of public opinion. Who’s the “top” and who’s the “bottom”? After seeing Bulletproof, I think I can guess. On one hand, they are the objects of sexual ridicule from their fellow firemen. Representing tradition American morality. On the other hand, they are the heroes of the homosexual “community”. Representing what causes Ted’s boxers to bunch into a gigatic wad. And again with the superfluous scare quotes. There are moments in the first half of the movie that provide some laugh-out-loud physical comedy and some funny situations. Now I HAVE to see this movie-just to find out what Dr. Teddy thinks is “laugh-out-loud funny”. With that said, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is not a comedy. It’s a bleak meditation of the soul, reminiscent of Bergman. Sandahl Bergman. There are several sequences throughout the movie when no one in the audience was laughing for several minutes at a time. The movie quickly moves away from anything resembling entertainment and turns into a boring, perverted, anti-Christian political platform for homosexual activist. Maybe they’d be laughing harder if they were seated close enough to Baehr to watch his foaming-at-the-mouth reaction to the goings-on. The content of this movie is abhorrent. That’s a strong statement coming from a writer for WorldNetDaily. Apart from the homosexual subject matter, the other strong sexual content is out of control. Keep in mind, this guy considers a mere REFERENCE to homosexuals to be “strong sexual content”. Sandler’s character, Chuck, is a womanizing sexual deviant. From implied group sex with five women who appear from his room… I wonder if Adam Sandler had a hand in writing the screenplay? …to receiving mail that includes pornography magazines as well as sexual toys, Chuck is clearly a pervert. Because any straight guy who sleeps with women and likes looking at sexy pictures of them is obviously perverted. Also, in one scene, Larry tries to get effeminate young son to become interested in the nude photos in Chuck’s porn magazines, and the son runs away. Which means the kid is clearly NOT a pervert. Good! Oh, wait, that implies he’s gay. The only Non-perverts are heterosexual men who have zero interest in looking at women. The excessive homosexual content is just more is just more psychological conditioning from the neo-Marxist, anti-Christian politically correct philosophers of our day… UM…”neo-Marxist”? I’m sorry. I just…WHAT. THE. FUCK. DOES. THAT. MEAN? (I wish I had a more clever response to that but…seriously, WTF?) Some of these opinion leaders even support lenient prison sentences for pedophiles who abuse children Wow, that’s one shocking indictment he’s pulled out of his ass. (unless, of course, the pedophile happens to be a Christian leader or white male clergyman) Who, I take it, Baehr thinks should be the ones to get leniency. Who exactly are these “opinion leaders” who say this? Do they hang out with those people Mike Adams writes about? If he can find one real “opinion leader”(whatever that is) who made that statement, I’ll watch Billy Madison 10 times in a rown. If he can find two or more, I’ll thow in 10 viewings of The Waterboy. From multiple manly New York firemen who “come out of the closet”… An unexpected twist in a movie whose plot centers around the premise that there are gay firemen. …to a young boy who is incredibly effeminate and would rather tap dance and be in musicals than play baseball… Sounds like the nephew in Ugly Betty. I love that show! …to making Christians look like stereotypical bigots who use hate speech… An image Ted Baehr’s certainly doing his best to dispel in this review. “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is aimed not at entertainment, but rather at the philosophical destruction of every virtue and the promotion of every vice. Tap-dancing children are destroying America! John Adams, the second president of the United States… Has as much to do with a silly Adam Sandler comedy as John Wayne had to do with Brokeback Mountain. As long as we’re polling dead people for their opinion of current movies, can we maybe ask Gene Siskel or Joel Siegal? In my latest book, “The Culture-Wise Family”… Available where fine books are sold. Buy one of those instead. Of course, the answer to the humanist worldview and pagan immorality of movies like this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.The Gospel of Jesus Christ preaches the kind of love that does not delight in evils like sexual promiscuity, adultry, greed, envy and murder. The kind of love that equates homosexuality with murder. That’s quite a selling point. MOVIEGUIDE is dedicated to redeeming values of Hollywood by informing parents about today’s movies and entertainment by showing media executives and artists that family-friendly and even Christian-friendly movies do best at the box office year in and year out. Which explains why I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry opened at #1.
The recent Adam Sandler-Kevin James comedy I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry opened last weekend, finishing #1 at the box office. I haven’t seen it, but judging from the trailer, it appeares to be an innocuous, if stupid movie that combines two very old plot devices: the Marriage of Convenience (which I can trace as far back as 1936′s Libeled Lady, but it might be older) and the Straight Guy Pretending To Be Gay (which goes at least as far back as 1959′s Pillow Talk. The irony is not lost on me). It doesn’t look teribly promising, but I have a friend who’s a Sandler fan so I might end up seeing it (I survived Wild Hogs, so don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll survive this). There’s a good reason to go see it-according to Dr. Ted Beahr of WorldNutDaily, it’s (clutch your pearls, folks) “1 of the most anti-Christian films of the year”
54 Responses to “You May Kiss The Homophobe”
OMG, I know of this guy! A local alternative weekly interviewed him and his ‘Golden Rotten Banana’ or something awards. Apparently, Jesus Camp made unfair comparisons of fundamentalist Christian sleepover camps to kid-recruiting ‘Islamo-fascists’ (despite someone running one of the camps saying she wanted to do something similar to those creeps) and Will Ferrell insults red state values.
He fumed that no one would ever make a movie like that about Muslim race car drivers, who happen to be rich and powerful, donchaknow. This made me think two things: some folks are just sticking stereotypes they are not allowed to say about Jewish people on any old group, and Omani Nights: The Legend of Mustafa Bin Wadi will be my shot at ‘feel-good movie of the summer’.
He fumed that no one would ever make a movie like that about Muslim race car drivers, who happen to be rich and powerful, donchaknow. This made me think two things: some folks are just sticking stereotypes they are not allowed to say about Jewish people on any old group, and Omani Nights: The Legend of Mustafa Bin Wadi will be my shot at ‘feel-good movie of the summer’.
the Straight Guy Pretending To Be Gay (which goes at least as far back as 1959’s Pillow Talk
and back past that to Bringing Up Baby (1938).
and back past that to Bringing Up Baby (1938).
Oh yeah-I forgot that one:
“Because I just went GAY all of a sudden!”
Thanks, julia.
“Because I just went GAY all of a sudden!”
Thanks, julia.
PC Anti-Christian? WTF is that?
They’re so worried about what people do or shouldn’t do with their genitals here’s my PC wayt to refer of Anti-Christians: “Evangenitals”.
Notice I added the quotation marks!
Is that PC enough?
They’re so worried about what people do or shouldn’t do with their genitals here’s my PC wayt to refer of Anti-Christians: “Evangenitals”.
Notice I added the quotation marks!
Is that PC enough?
“There are several sequences throughout the movie when no one in the audience was laughing for several minutes at a time.”
What? People weren’t laughing during an ADAM SANDLER movie?! THAT CAN’T BE POSSIBLE!
What? People weren’t laughing during an ADAM SANDLER movie?! THAT CAN’T BE POSSIBLE!
DID Jesus say anything about gays at all? Other than turning the other cheek I mean.
“From multiple manly New York firemen who “come out of the closet”…”
“…to a young boy who is incredibly effeminate and would rather tap dance and be in musicals than play baseball…
…to making Christians look like stereotypical bigots who use hate speech…”
Never never! My eyes! My ears! How can they?! Portray manly men as gay — or even potentially gay and femmy boys and bigot Christians. Where do those screenwriters get this stuff? From Mars surely.
And Kathy, are you saying Jesus was gay, turning his cheeks to the boys? I surely wish more at the WingNut Daily would follow Jesus’ example for cryin’ out loud.
“…to a young boy who is incredibly effeminate and would rather tap dance and be in musicals than play baseball…
…to making Christians look like stereotypical bigots who use hate speech…”
Never never! My eyes! My ears! How can they?! Portray manly men as gay — or even potentially gay and femmy boys and bigot Christians. Where do those screenwriters get this stuff? From Mars surely.
And Kathy, are you saying Jesus was gay, turning his cheeks to the boys? I surely wish more at the WingNut Daily would follow Jesus’ example for cryin’ out loud.
Wow, awesome takedown Bill! My favorite line:
It’s a bleak meditation of the soul, reminiscent of Bergman. Sandahl Bergman.
I laughed out loud at that one. Then I looked up who Sandahl Bergman is and laughed again.
It’s a bleak meditation of the soul, reminiscent of Bergman. Sandahl Bergman.
I laughed out loud at that one. Then I looked up who Sandahl Bergman is and laughed again.
I thought the movie (which I haven’t seen yet) was really about the inequities of inheritance laws and the holes in the social welfare safety net.
I thought the movie (which I haven’t seen yet) was really about the inequities of inheritance laws, the holes in the social welfare safety net, and the desperate steps people need to care for their children. I know of elderly couples who are living together IN SIN (according to their deeply held religious beliefs), but won’t get married because their social security benefits would be reduced.
Owww, oww, owwww. Jesus, my head hurts.
I’ll say it again: Blaming this kind of crap on the gays is like blaming Amos and Andy on the blacks, or blaming Emeril on the lobsters.
Is there anything more cravenly homophobic than “See, queers don’t need extra legal privileges, they’ve already got it so good straights are pretending to be them to get in on the perks!”
This season’s “Disclosure”. And, my prediction, equally funny.
I’ll say it again: Blaming this kind of crap on the gays is like blaming Amos and Andy on the blacks, or blaming Emeril on the lobsters.
Is there anything more cravenly homophobic than “See, queers don’t need extra legal privileges, they’ve already got it so good straights are pretending to be them to get in on the perks!”
This season’s “Disclosure”. And, my prediction, equally funny.
If you need more Ted Baehr in your life, you can go to his website where he’ll try to convince you to pony up $40 to see his archives. You can look at his recent reviews for free, and learn that Harry Potter is satanic:
occult context with no God-centered theology, plus some anthropocentric, neo-Pelagian, false religious talk about choosing the good within you with no appeal to God or Jesus Christ, who is the only Way, Truth and Life blah, blah, blah
Ugh, I realize fundies are stupid, but do they have to be this fucking stupid? I mean, can they ever turn off their inner Ned Flanders for two seconds? Do they watch Star Trek and wonder if all Vulcans go to hell because they do not accept an earthling carpenter as their personal savior? I’d hate to read Ted’s review of Star Wars. He’d probably say that Luke’s trust in the Force is neo-paganistic, “with no appeal to God or Jesus Christ, who is the only Way, Truth and Life.” He’d probably end his review the same way he ended his Harry Potter one: “But, there is a Force above all Forces who can solve this problems and banish the Dark Side. And, that Force is Jesus Christ. May the Christ be with you.”
occult context with no God-centered theology, plus some anthropocentric, neo-Pelagian, false religious talk about choosing the good within you with no appeal to God or Jesus Christ, who is the only Way, Truth and Life blah, blah, blah
Ugh, I realize fundies are stupid, but do they have to be this fucking stupid? I mean, can they ever turn off their inner Ned Flanders for two seconds? Do they watch Star Trek and wonder if all Vulcans go to hell because they do not accept an earthling carpenter as their personal savior? I’d hate to read Ted’s review of Star Wars. He’d probably say that Luke’s trust in the Force is neo-paganistic, “with no appeal to God or Jesus Christ, who is the only Way, Truth and Life.” He’d probably end his review the same way he ended his Harry Potter one: “But, there is a Force above all Forces who can solve this problems and banish the Dark Side. And, that Force is Jesus Christ. May the Christ be with you.”
Frankly, I’m disappointed. I was sure Medved was going to be the one to lead this crusade. Now that guy can do homophobic rants and moronic, nonsensical film analysis
like nobodies business. This Dr. Ted Beahr character is a real boor. He just can’t compare.
like nobodies business. This Dr. Ted Beahr character is a real boor. He just can’t compare.
Michael Medved was unavailable, as he was at the special salon he goes to for moustache mainenance. Each grey hair is hand-plucked with a specially designed set of tweezers used for particularly stubborn hairs that take root so far they’re attached his brain. It can take a few days to recuperate.
I wonder what Ted Baehr thought of “Little Nicky.”
On second thought, I don’t.
I wonder what Ted Baehr thought of “Little Nicky.”
On second thought, I don’t.
The “Marriage of Convenience” plot device does go back much further. I’ve seen it in a Harold Lloyd short (Spooked Spooks or some such) from about 1921 or so, and I’m certain it was used beforehand as well. The Lloyd film was based on the old-even-then premise of “young person has to get married by a certain date to get inheritance”.
And WTF is indeed a perfect reaction to his “Neo Marxist” comment? Gay Marriage is a plot to redistribute wealth through wedding presents or something??
And WTF is indeed a perfect reaction to his “Neo Marxist” comment? Gay Marriage is a plot to redistribute wealth through wedding presents or something??
You missed a few snarks —
“The Gospel of Jesus Christ preaches the kind of love that does not delight in evils like sexual promiscuity, adultery, greed, envy and murder.” [Which is why it has no place in a Christian nation like America!]
‘“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is aimed not at entertainment, but rather at the philosophical destruction of every virtue and the promotion of every vice.’ [Aquinas, put down that flamethrower !]
“The Gospel of Jesus Christ preaches the kind of love that does not delight in evils like sexual promiscuity, adultery, greed, envy and murder.” [Which is why it has no place in a Christian nation like America!]
‘“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is aimed not at entertainment, but rather at the philosophical destruction of every virtue and the promotion of every vice.’ [Aquinas, put down that flamethrower !]
Re “Neo-Marxists”: Believe it or not, there actually is a political movement called neo-Marxism. As memory serves, they believe that Marx was wrong about everything and that communism can never work. Which makes them Marxists how, exactly? I was never really sure on that point.
The philosophy is basically socialism lite. Not exactly the hardcore Commie platform that Beahr was envisioning. My guess is that he figured that since the prefix “neo-” is often used to indicate something bad (neoconservative), then adding it to Marxism (which is bad to begin with) makes it worse. After all, we’ve got neo-Nazis, why not neo-Commies?
The philosophy is basically socialism lite. Not exactly the hardcore Commie platform that Beahr was envisioning. My guess is that he figured that since the prefix “neo-” is often used to indicate something bad (neoconservative), then adding it to Marxism (which is bad to begin with) makes it worse. After all, we’ve got neo-Nazis, why not neo-Commies?
Well, I haven’t seen this little gem either, but judging by this review on AICN, I’m betting that it’s hardly “innocuous.” Money quote from Massawyrm’s review:
It’s not the sheer obviousness of the agenda that’s offensive. It is its seeming lack of sincerity about it. It’s an incredibly shallow and pathetic attempt that feels more like Dude, this may be our last chance to make gay jokes …like ever. So we’ve gotta use them all. Every last one. And the result is some nuclear option gay joke extravaganza that feels obligated to utter the phrase Not that there’s anything wrong with that after every single one-liner.In other words, it’s faux gay agenda. Yecch. No thanx. Not, of course, that I was longing for a “hot” sex scene between Adam Sandler and Kevin James, though this would help me prove that there is no God.
“It’s a bleak meditation of the soul, reminiscent of Bergman. Sandahl Bergman.”
That is some smooth snark. That’s like Billy Dee Williams snark. Thanks for this article, sir, you should be a weekly contributor on WoC!
That is some smooth snark. That’s like Billy Dee Williams snark. Thanks for this article, sir, you should be a weekly contributor on WoC!
That’s pretty much what I expected, Marq. And, glad you’re home. I know some of those doctors are freaking adorable and all, but try to stay out of the hospital for a while, okay? I’ll come over there and make Jell-O for you if it’ll help.
Not, of course, that I was longing for a “hot” sex scene between Adam Sandler and Kevin James, though this would help me prove that there is no God.
Left by Marq on July 27th, 2007
That’s beautiful, Marq. I laughed/snorted and now I can breathe again, and the way my allergies are right now, this is akin to a miracle. Thanks!
Left by Marq on July 27th, 2007
That’s beautiful, Marq. I laughed/snorted and now I can breathe again, and the way my allergies are right now, this is akin to a miracle. Thanks!
I’ll bet the Sandahl Bergman Wikipedia page got a whole lot of hits today.
“Larry, a widower, has two children of which he is the sole provider.”
Uhhh… Provider to whom? Is this a synonym for procurer?
Sounds pretty bad to me. Dunno why you’re being mean to someone who objects to a movie like that.
Oh, I get it. It’s the pronoun. Chosen by reviewer, not the movie. I agree, there’s pretty much nothing you wouldn’t expect of somebody who sees children as things.
Uhhh… Provider to whom? Is this a synonym for procurer?
Sounds pretty bad to me. Dunno why you’re being mean to someone who objects to a movie like that.
Oh, I get it. It’s the pronoun. Chosen by reviewer, not the movie. I agree, there’s pretty much nothing you wouldn’t expect of somebody who sees children as things.
Good catch, Porlock-I don’t know how I missed that.
Well, Sidhe, there was this one doc in teh ER, facing away from me doing computer work, whose scrubs were unusually form-fitting, and who had the most amazing, swirly ass.
[eyes bottle of sleeping pills....]
[eyes bottle of sleeping pills....]
I’ll bet the Sandahl Bergman Wikipedia page got a whole lot of hits today.
Well some of us are less iggerunt as a result.
I also looked up teddy bear – beg pardon, Ted Baerh – and found this in the Wiki article:
A March 2004 article by Marshall Allen in Christianity Today claimed that Baehr’s public relations company, “Kairos Marketing”, accepted payment for consulting and promotional activities on behalf of six movies that were positively reviewed in Movieguide. Though Kairos is not officially part of Good News Communications, the non-profit that supports the CFTVC and publishes Movieguide, Kairos does donate to Good News Communications. The article quotes David Gushee, an ethicist at Union University in Tennessee as saying that accepting money to promote movies and publishing reviews of those movies in a magazine that “presents itself as a Hollywood watchdog,” is a conflict of interest.
[...]
Further rebuttal from CFTVC advisory board member Jane Chastain in World Net Daily countered that the Christianity Today article was a slanderous “hatchet job,” noting that the Protestant Film Office, the ideological predecessor to Beahr’s organizations, was routinely paid for consultations by Hollywood Studios that needed its stamp of approval.
Oh, that’s okay then – it’s not corruption if you could get away with it once upon a time.
Well some of us are less iggerunt as a result.
I also looked up teddy bear – beg pardon, Ted Baerh – and found this in the Wiki article:
A March 2004 article by Marshall Allen in Christianity Today claimed that Baehr’s public relations company, “Kairos Marketing”, accepted payment for consulting and promotional activities on behalf of six movies that were positively reviewed in Movieguide. Though Kairos is not officially part of Good News Communications, the non-profit that supports the CFTVC and publishes Movieguide, Kairos does donate to Good News Communications. The article quotes David Gushee, an ethicist at Union University in Tennessee as saying that accepting money to promote movies and publishing reviews of those movies in a magazine that “presents itself as a Hollywood watchdog,” is a conflict of interest.
[...]
Further rebuttal from CFTVC advisory board member Jane Chastain in World Net Daily countered that the Christianity Today article was a slanderous “hatchet job,” noting that the Protestant Film Office, the ideological predecessor to Beahr’s organizations, was routinely paid for consultations by Hollywood Studios that needed its stamp of approval.
Oh, that’s okay then – it’s not corruption if you could get away with it once upon a time.
I agree to the point that Adam Sandler is an abomination
As the boyfriend of a gay (upstate) New York fireman, may I just say that I have no plans to see this movie. It’s a movie with Adam Sandler in it, so I’ve already seen it several times before.
“I’ll say it again: Blaming this kind of crap on the gays is like blaming Amos and Andy on the blacks, or blaming Emeril on the lobsters.
Is there anything more cravenly homophobic than ‘See, queers don’t need extra legal privileges, they’ve already got it so good straights are pretending to be them to get in on the perks!’”
D. Sidhe and her zombies have been reading my mind again. There’s got to be a way to configure my tinfoil hat to keep them outta there, dammit!!!
The first thing that I thought, upon seeing the first mega-promotion using-bumpers-of-Sandler-And-Closet-Queen-James to introduce shows on NBC, when I saw the first clips of that nightmare of a “movie” — “FLAMING FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC HYPOCRITIC MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!”
First of all Adam Sandler is SO fucking insecure, the only “emotion” that he can “play” when “acting” (cough!-HACK!-cough!) is UNBRIDLED RAGE, and his sensitivity over his “sexual prowess” is so pronounced, he should have his forehead tattooed with the phrase, “I HAVEA TEENY TINKY-WINKY AND I WANT YOU TO LOVE IT!!!”
Secondly, if Kevin James isn’t as queer as a three dollar bill, then I’m an anorexic, 100% hetero, 200-IQ astronaut supermodel ballerina with 100,000 shares of AT&T. PRE-Ma-Bell Split/Reconcilliation.
So let’s look at the irony/hypocrisy/projectile-vomit-inducing-homophobic-overcompensation here, please.
At least Cary Grant was capable of ACTING like a 100% hetero on FILM, dammit. Acting, PERIOD. While Rock Hudson never had his skills onscreen, he at LEAST carried on the myth in the publicity stills and interviews.
Where has all of the artfulness of film gone?
When I saw this clusterfuck hit the widespread commercial rotation, all that it screamed to me was, “THE HOMOPHOBIC HATERS OF WHITE-BREAD MIDDLE-AMERICA ARE GONNA FUCKING LOOOOOOOOVE THIS CLICHE’ HOMOPHOBIC SCHLOCK HORSESHIT EXCUSE FOR A ‘MOVIE’!!!!!!!!”
And judging from the box office returns thus far, I was, as usual, right. They didn’t make this shit to appeal to gay couples, they sure as hell didn’t make this shit to perform the legendary (BUT STILL AS FAKE AS THOSE BILL GATES WILL DONATE A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME THAT YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL SPAMS) teh gay function of “RECRUITING,” and they sure as FUCK didn’t make this piece of shit to appeal to WOMEN. Except maybe for the world’s most confused potential fag-hags who haven’t escaped suburbia yet.
Bill, I’m quite proud of your scathing and witty take-down of this piece of shit AND the movie he blathered (and mutilated the English language) about. A little more venom next time, please. I know that you were holding back on this one, trying to stay above the fray, being all arty-intellectual about it, but next time, honey, just for me, would you really RIP THESE FLAMING FUCKING MORONS A NEW ASSHOLE FOR ME?!?!??!? I’ll even ship you my four-way drop-forged tire-tool to you, if you’ll give it the good ol’ college try.
Good stuff. More bloodshed next time, please. That is all.
And Mentis, m’dear, EXCELLENT catch on the payola scumsuckers. Seems like an excellent start on a lovely expose’ on the “christian-approval indulgence-selling” market, dontcha think? (hint-hint-work-on-this-for-the-blog-or-I’ll-teach-yer-cat-to-aim-for-the-nads-under-the-blankie)
Is there anything more cravenly homophobic than ‘See, queers don’t need extra legal privileges, they’ve already got it so good straights are pretending to be them to get in on the perks!’”
D. Sidhe and her zombies have been reading my mind again. There’s got to be a way to configure my tinfoil hat to keep them outta there, dammit!!!
The first thing that I thought, upon seeing the first mega-promotion using-bumpers-of-Sandler-And-Closet-Queen-James to introduce shows on NBC, when I saw the first clips of that nightmare of a “movie” — “FLAMING FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC HYPOCRITIC MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!”
First of all Adam Sandler is SO fucking insecure, the only “emotion” that he can “play” when “acting” (cough!-HACK!-cough!) is UNBRIDLED RAGE, and his sensitivity over his “sexual prowess” is so pronounced, he should have his forehead tattooed with the phrase, “I HAVEA TEENY TINKY-WINKY AND I WANT YOU TO LOVE IT!!!”
Secondly, if Kevin James isn’t as queer as a three dollar bill, then I’m an anorexic, 100% hetero, 200-IQ astronaut supermodel ballerina with 100,000 shares of AT&T. PRE-Ma-Bell Split/Reconcilliation.
So let’s look at the irony/hypocrisy/projectile-vomit-inducing-homophobic-overcompensation here, please.
At least Cary Grant was capable of ACTING like a 100% hetero on FILM, dammit. Acting, PERIOD. While Rock Hudson never had his skills onscreen, he at LEAST carried on the myth in the publicity stills and interviews.
Where has all of the artfulness of film gone?
When I saw this clusterfuck hit the widespread commercial rotation, all that it screamed to me was, “THE HOMOPHOBIC HATERS OF WHITE-BREAD MIDDLE-AMERICA ARE GONNA FUCKING LOOOOOOOOVE THIS CLICHE’ HOMOPHOBIC SCHLOCK HORSESHIT EXCUSE FOR A ‘MOVIE’!!!!!!!!”
And judging from the box office returns thus far, I was, as usual, right. They didn’t make this shit to appeal to gay couples, they sure as hell didn’t make this shit to perform the legendary (BUT STILL AS FAKE AS THOSE BILL GATES WILL DONATE A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME THAT YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL SPAMS) teh gay function of “RECRUITING,” and they sure as FUCK didn’t make this piece of shit to appeal to WOMEN. Except maybe for the world’s most confused potential fag-hags who haven’t escaped suburbia yet.
Bill, I’m quite proud of your scathing and witty take-down of this piece of shit AND the movie he blathered (and mutilated the English language) about. A little more venom next time, please. I know that you were holding back on this one, trying to stay above the fray, being all arty-intellectual about it, but next time, honey, just for me, would you really RIP THESE FLAMING FUCKING MORONS A NEW ASSHOLE FOR ME?!?!??!? I’ll even ship you my four-way drop-forged tire-tool to you, if you’ll give it the good ol’ college try.
Good stuff. More bloodshed next time, please. That is all.
And Mentis, m’dear, EXCELLENT catch on the payola scumsuckers. Seems like an excellent start on a lovely expose’ on the “christian-approval indulgence-selling” market, dontcha think? (hint-hint-work-on-this-for-the-blog-or-I’ll-teach-yer-cat-to-aim-for-the-nads-under-the-blankie)
You know, Annti, I kinda want to see what kind of kid you and Lewis Black would produce. I suspect we’d all be sucked into the black hole of furiously profane snark if you two ever shook hands, though.
I wasn’t holding. It’s just that bad movies and hack comedians don’t bother me that much. As I said, I’ll probably end up seeing it because a friend of mine wants to. I’m not inclined to mock friends for their cheezeball tastes since I could just as easily be mocked for mine. (I actually LIKED “Pillow Talk”. Any movie with Thelma Ritter can’t be all bad.) Giving this film credit for some kind of agenda is ludicrous-nobody involved in it is bright enough, or ambitious enough, to have an agenda of ANY kind.
Which was kinda my point in making fun of Ted Baehr. This guy is actually fuming with moral outrage and indignation over a FUCKING ADAM SANDLER movie. I mean, sheesh! Who does that? Only an unstable head case would get worked up into an over-the-top rant about something so mediocre and triv…
Um, yeah, that’s it exactly, I was just, um, holding back. That’s all.
[tiptoes cautiously away...]
Which was kinda my point in making fun of Ted Baehr. This guy is actually fuming with moral outrage and indignation over a FUCKING ADAM SANDLER movie. I mean, sheesh! Who does that? Only an unstable head case would get worked up into an over-the-top rant about something so mediocre and triv…
Um, yeah, that’s it exactly, I was just, um, holding back. That’s all.
[tiptoes cautiously away...]
Oh, it’s clearly not a deliberate homophobic agenda. I’m sure most everyone involved knows gay people they like. It’s just an unexamined personality flaw. I’m sure Carlos Mencia thinks he likes a broad assortment of people he routinely perpetuates stereotypes about, too. Most homophobia, like most sexism, seems to be subconscious.
Exactly, D. Of course, there’s exactly ZERO motivation for me to PAY to be insulted for 90 minutes. Hell, I can get that for free–and with a bonus severe beating, as well. The damned trailer for this was a plenty big enough insult for me! And I’m not even saying that humorists need to be all PC wlking-on-eggshells over gay issues or anything. I still laugh at Monty Python gags that could be construed as very anti-gay. But there are a couple of significant differences. They were friends of their collegue Graham “Bisexual” Chapman, and the times were much, much more homophobic in general. I think it’s really kind of a big waste of time to get all pissy over some slight that wasn’t recognized as one at the time. 20/20 hindsight is easy.
When it comes to bad movies, sometimes I’ll find myself re-writing the script in my head, imagining much better it’d be if I’d have written it.
Oh, and I was gonna let this go, ’cause, really, I don’t wanna know…Kevin James is gay? Really? I have never, ever imagined that at all. (But then again…why would I want to?) But I don’t have the most reliable “gaydar” in the world. (How reliable is YOURS?)I actually thought the friend I alluded to earlier might be gay, until I met his girlfriend. No couple that argues that much in front of people could possibly be faking it.
Ooh…(removes foot from mouth)
That thing I said-”How reliable is YOURS?” was a low blow (no pun intended). I completely forgot about your own, um, history in that regard. I’m sorry about that. I feel like such an ass now.
That thing I said-”How reliable is YOURS?” was a low blow (no pun intended). I completely forgot about your own, um, history in that regard. I’m sorry about that. I feel like such an ass now.
“The excessive homosexual content is just more is just more psychological conditioning from the neo-Marxist, anti-Christian politically correct philosophers of our day…”
So philosophers are making movies now? Awesome. “From the makers of ‘Lectures on the History of Moral Philosophy’ and ‘An Introduction to Philosophical Logic’, Universal Pictures presents: ‘Bad Boys 3′”.
So philosophers are making movies now? Awesome. “From the makers of ‘Lectures on the History of Moral Philosophy’ and ‘An Introduction to Philosophical Logic’, Universal Pictures presents: ‘Bad Boys 3′”.
Yes, Bill, you are an ass.
You don’t know the half of it. I gave bunch of people I work with the link to this site when scott put this little essay of mine up. Two of them weren’t at at work today, but the one who had trouble differentiating between the instances where I was quoting Ted Baehr, and the instances where I was mocking him. Which means either his reading comprehension skills are bad, or I’m one shitty writer. In any case, I had to convince him I wasn’t some psycho-religeous nut with a multiple personality disorder.
And tomorrow, I’m gonna have to do that with two more people, assuming they don’t flee away from me as soon as they see me.
And, I really am sorry for saying something so thoughtlessly stupid. I haven’t been able to think of anything else since I posted that comment this morning. I haven’t felt this awful since I stood behind somebody, whispering impatiently under my breath, “C’mon, move faster dammit, you’re holding up the..” and THEN noticed the OXYGEN TANK she was carrying.
Yes, I am an ass. (But not all the time, I hope. And not more frequently than anybody else.)
And tomorrow, I’m gonna have to do that with two more people, assuming they don’t flee away from me as soon as they see me.
And, I really am sorry for saying something so thoughtlessly stupid. I haven’t been able to think of anything else since I posted that comment this morning. I haven’t felt this awful since I stood behind somebody, whispering impatiently under my breath, “C’mon, move faster dammit, you’re holding up the..” and THEN noticed the OXYGEN TANK she was carrying.
Yes, I am an ass. (But not all the time, I hope. And not more frequently than anybody else.)
Oh, and, in Movie News That Sucks, Ingmar Bergman passed away today.
Also, today is the 60th birthday of Arnold Schwarznegger.
Also, today is the 60th birthday of Arnold Schwarznegger.
I haven’t noticed your assishness lately, Bill, but I’m probably not the target audience for that sort of thing, so to speak.
And actually, my gaydar is appalling. I complimented a lovely woman in the market the other day, only to realize suddenly that she A) thought I was hitting on her (which I wasn’t necessarily) and B) assumed I was Satan for doing so. Good Lord, what a fuss.
Really, Bill, I’m less insulted by your arguing with me on the subject of becoming incensed over idiotic movies than I am by your dismissal of headcases. In fact, I believe I shall have to sulk. I will, however, vote for poor reading comprehension, because it seemed perfectly clear to me who was saying what, and I’m even a headcase.
And actually, my gaydar is appalling. I complimented a lovely woman in the market the other day, only to realize suddenly that she A) thought I was hitting on her (which I wasn’t necessarily) and B) assumed I was Satan for doing so. Good Lord, what a fuss.
Really, Bill, I’m less insulted by your arguing with me on the subject of becoming incensed over idiotic movies than I am by your dismissal of headcases. In fact, I believe I shall have to sulk. I will, however, vote for poor reading comprehension, because it seemed perfectly clear to me who was saying what, and I’m even a headcase.
D., sweetheart, Bill was referring, with the snappish gaydar rip, to the incessant and annoyingly recurring pattern of me winding-up with bisexual men who basically parasite off of women (whom they actually loathe and belittle for not having penises) whilst they sneak off to suck dick, etc.
I try very hard not to be a hypocrite, so I can’t, honestly, tell a bisexual guy that I “can’t” date him because he likes the occasional cock. Unfortunately, bisexual men, in my experiences, generally PREFER the cocks to the cunts, and I’m always the one who winds-up paying the price, in every single possible permutation of the concept.
Hence my year-long (thus far) permanently self-imposed spinsterhood. Keeps my life SO much simpler and I never have to sleep on the wet spot, nor do I have to FEED IT.
And Bill knows all of this, and for some reason, my encouragement of his essay/critique (whilst begging for more vehemence and bloodshed), instead of engendering glee and devilish entertainment in Bill’s head, incited a very mean back-handed bitch-slap in my face for having attempted to bolster his accomplishment with kudos.
THAT, m’dear, is the subtext, the supratext, and the guts of the whole matter, and that is why I agreed wholeheartedly with Bill’s describing of himself as an ass. It fit him to a tee at that particular juncture.
I try very hard not to be a hypocrite, so I can’t, honestly, tell a bisexual guy that I “can’t” date him because he likes the occasional cock. Unfortunately, bisexual men, in my experiences, generally PREFER the cocks to the cunts, and I’m always the one who winds-up paying the price, in every single possible permutation of the concept.
Hence my year-long (thus far) permanently self-imposed spinsterhood. Keeps my life SO much simpler and I never have to sleep on the wet spot, nor do I have to FEED IT.
And Bill knows all of this, and for some reason, my encouragement of his essay/critique (whilst begging for more vehemence and bloodshed), instead of engendering glee and devilish entertainment in Bill’s head, incited a very mean back-handed bitch-slap in my face for having attempted to bolster his accomplishment with kudos.
THAT, m’dear, is the subtext, the supratext, and the guts of the whole matter, and that is why I agreed wholeheartedly with Bill’s describing of himself as an ass. It fit him to a tee at that particular juncture.
All that remains is the question of how much groveling will be required on my part. Days, weeks, months, years?
Or would a “plaster cast” from Henry Rollins* be sufficient? Because I’m willing go that extra mile if need be.
*or another celeb of your choice.
Or would a “plaster cast” from Henry Rollins* be sufficient? Because I’m willing go that extra mile if need be.
*or another celeb of your choice.
Rollins, eh? I dunno, he was hit-on by his mom’s many one-night stand douchebags when he was seven and eight years old, so he’s really sensitive about people who want to get near the “danger zone” unless it’s some big-titted H’wood-type chick. Not that I’m not touched & honored by the proposal, but I don’t see it as being practical or really doable.
Now, CLOOOOOOOOOOOOONEYYYYYYYYY… I only hope that my bi-dar is going off prematurely on that one, ’cause I would dearly LOVE to have a Cynthia Plaster-Caster-quality copy of his Kentuckian love machine. Hell, even Craig Ferguson… Tall Scots do something for me, even if they ARE friends with that republicunt midget Drew Carey.
OOOH!!! Larry Fishbourne. Lou Reed. (not so tall, but what the hell, he put out for Cynthia, why wouldn’t he put out for me?!??!!?) Seal. (Put a ball-gag on Heidi while you’re at it.) My ex-Boy (THE Boy of the Rants, back in the day, not Dullard McDumbass, the freakazoid el penito that I evicted last year ’cause he wouldn’t take his fucking meds, but he WOULD steal my checks) would make a LOVELY model, and would brag about having done it.
And even though he’s a proud redneck republicunt, Trace Adkins, the only redneck motherfucker from Louisiana that I would EVER wanna CLIMB, that long-legged mofo him. DeNiro — not so tall, but DeNIRO!!! William Peterson from CSI. Adam Savage from “Mythbusters”. (He’s a goofy giggly geek and I love him.)
That gorgeous, lovely-voiced astronomist who hosts “NOVA Science Now” (he’s got three names, and none of them will come to mind now that the sleeping pills are kicking-in). Lenny Kravitz. Axl Rose. Every male on the cast of “WEEDS” (Showtime, which I miss SO fucking dearly!!!).I wish that Gregory Hines were still alive… *sigh* MIKHAIL BARISHNIKOV!!!!!! (It ain’t ALL “dance belt,” by damn!!!) Peter Weller. Michael Nesmith & Peter Tork. David Duchovny. Or even just a still photo of the Red Speedos, since I still have never seen that episode.
Gee, am I hormonal much today? What’s sick is, my HOMICIDAL HAMSTER got her first period today (at 2 years old) and she’s ON *MY* CYCLE!!!!! Small world. Even smaller apartment.
Grovelling, plaster-casting, gifts (see my blogger profile over to my blog) and cash will help.
But yeah, that was a low blow, Bill. I appreciate that you knew it as soon as you posted it, but I would never assail your inherent psyche or personality flaws/damage that would cause YOU to perpetually get set-up to be a PATSY and to be FUCKED-OVER COMPLETELY by EVERYBODY IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE (should that apply to you) that leads you to pieces of shit bisexual male whores like Dullard McDumbass, The Crack Whore Who Tried To Kill Me Whie I Was On The Phone With My Nannie And She Died Of Cancer 14 Months Later, and The Boy of those old days of yore, back when I had teeth and a life and a stage upon which to vent.
Granted, you don’t blather on about your personal problems or relationships (or lack thereof), so maybe my bald-open obnoxiously-honest scab-picking sore-peeling way of life is too much for you sometimes.
Adjust your tray table accordingly and prepare for takeoff.
Now, CLOOOOOOOOOOOOONEYYYYYYYYY… I only hope that my bi-dar is going off prematurely on that one, ’cause I would dearly LOVE to have a Cynthia Plaster-Caster-quality copy of his Kentuckian love machine. Hell, even Craig Ferguson… Tall Scots do something for me, even if they ARE friends with that republicunt midget Drew Carey.
OOOH!!! Larry Fishbourne. Lou Reed. (not so tall, but what the hell, he put out for Cynthia, why wouldn’t he put out for me?!??!!?) Seal. (Put a ball-gag on Heidi while you’re at it.) My ex-Boy (THE Boy of the Rants, back in the day, not Dullard McDumbass, the freakazoid el penito that I evicted last year ’cause he wouldn’t take his fucking meds, but he WOULD steal my checks) would make a LOVELY model, and would brag about having done it.
And even though he’s a proud redneck republicunt, Trace Adkins, the only redneck motherfucker from Louisiana that I would EVER wanna CLIMB, that long-legged mofo him. DeNiro — not so tall, but DeNIRO!!! William Peterson from CSI. Adam Savage from “Mythbusters”. (He’s a goofy giggly geek and I love him.)
That gorgeous, lovely-voiced astronomist who hosts “NOVA Science Now” (he’s got three names, and none of them will come to mind now that the sleeping pills are kicking-in). Lenny Kravitz. Axl Rose. Every male on the cast of “WEEDS” (Showtime, which I miss SO fucking dearly!!!).I wish that Gregory Hines were still alive… *sigh* MIKHAIL BARISHNIKOV!!!!!! (It ain’t ALL “dance belt,” by damn!!!) Peter Weller. Michael Nesmith & Peter Tork. David Duchovny. Or even just a still photo of the Red Speedos, since I still have never seen that episode.
Gee, am I hormonal much today? What’s sick is, my HOMICIDAL HAMSTER got her first period today (at 2 years old) and she’s ON *MY* CYCLE!!!!! Small world. Even smaller apartment.
Grovelling, plaster-casting, gifts (see my blogger profile over to my blog) and cash will help.
But yeah, that was a low blow, Bill. I appreciate that you knew it as soon as you posted it, but I would never assail your inherent psyche or personality flaws/damage that would cause YOU to perpetually get set-up to be a PATSY and to be FUCKED-OVER COMPLETELY by EVERYBODY IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE (should that apply to you) that leads you to pieces of shit bisexual male whores like Dullard McDumbass, The Crack Whore Who Tried To Kill Me Whie I Was On The Phone With My Nannie And She Died Of Cancer 14 Months Later, and The Boy of those old days of yore, back when I had teeth and a life and a stage upon which to vent.
Granted, you don’t blather on about your personal problems or relationships (or lack thereof), so maybe my bald-open obnoxiously-honest scab-picking sore-peeling way of life is too much for you sometimes.
Adjust your tray table accordingly and prepare for takeoff.
That would be Neil DeGrasse Tyson. My God, he’s a doll. Annti, you have stunning taste in men. Not so much DeNiro, mind you.
And I’m absolutely not getting between you and Bill, and my views on bisexual men shall go unexamined.
And I’m absolutely not getting between you and Bill, and my views on bisexual men shall go unexamined.
Yesss! Neil DeGrasse Tyson. No relation to MIKE Tyson, I trust? Nah, couldn’t be — Mike doesn’t have 2 brain cells to rub together. Nothing sexier than a brilliant man, is there? And a physicist… *sigh*
But no DeNiro? Woman, get hold of yerself!
But no DeNiro? Woman, get hold of yerself!
He must not be tall enough for her.
But I’m 5’4″, so everyone’s tall to me.
But I’m 5’4″, so everyone’s tall to me.
So I guess that she wouldn’t go for the Taxi Driver poster in my bedroom or the t-shirt with the same mohawk + guns pose on it… heh…
Hope’s dashed like shattered teenage dreams
Boys living next door are never what they seem
A walk in the park can become a bad dream
People are staring and following me
This is my only escape from it all
Watching a film or a face on the wall
Robert DeNiro’s waiting, talking Italian…(repeat 3x)
I don’t need a boy, I’ve got a man of steel
Don’t come any closer, I don’t wanna feel
You’re breathing, you’re touching, but nothing’s for free
I never want this to happen to me
Don’t try to change me, you’re wasting your time
Now I’ve got something much better in mind-
Robert DeNiro’s waiting, talking Italian…
[sorry, couldn't resist.]
Boys living next door are never what they seem
A walk in the park can become a bad dream
People are staring and following me
This is my only escape from it all
Watching a film or a face on the wall
Robert DeNiro’s waiting, talking Italian…(repeat 3x)
I don’t need a boy, I’ve got a man of steel
Don’t come any closer, I don’t wanna feel
You’re breathing, you’re touching, but nothing’s for free
I never want this to happen to me
Don’t try to change me, you’re wasting your time
Now I’ve got something much better in mind-
Robert DeNiro’s waiting, talking Italian…
[sorry, couldn't resist.]
Okay, now you are gonna have to enlighten me on this one, son…
It’s just an pop song from the ’80′s by Bananarama (shut up, you like Axel Rose-a boy who looks like he hasn’t had a shower since 1987. Not the kind that involves soap and water in any case). I misquoted the first line-it’s actually “Hope’s dashed TO THE FLOOR like shattered teenage dreams.”
And you really can’t figure out what the lyrics-which could apply to my life (if not yours)actually mean? Think haaaard.
Oh, and watch this, it’s funny. (I promise I’m not pranking you.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_xH7q-rNUY
And you really can’t figure out what the lyrics-which could apply to my life (if not yours)actually mean? Think haaaard.
Oh, and watch this, it’s funny. (I promise I’m not pranking you.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_xH7q-rNUY
As I have been mentioned in this blog, I would enjoy the opportunity to respond.
I am Dr. Ted Baehr, founder of the Christian Film & Television Commission and of http://www.movieguide.org
To quote:
“Maybe they’d be laughing harder if they were seated close enough to Baehr to watch his foaming-at-the-mouth reaction to the goings-on.”
I was hardly foaming-at-the-mouth, to use your own words. Simply that I took serious offense to the anti-Biblical content of the movie, as any good Christian should.
“Because any straight guy who sleeps with women and likes looking at sexy pictures of them is obviously perverted.”
This is also true, according to the Bible.
“The excessive homosexual content is just more is just more psychological conditioning from the neo-Marxist, anti-Christian politically correct philosophers of our day…”
It is true. America is under attack from the pro-Communist, Socialist, crazy loony Left. It is only through the providence of Jesus Christ our Lord that President George W. Bush has managed to do such an excellent job of leading our great nation, with so much treachery afoot in America today.
“Some of these opinion leaders even support lenient prison sentences for pedophiles who abuse children”
As an evangelical Christian American, I’m not afraid to point a finger at Catholicism’s Papalcy in this regard.
“unless, of course, the pedophile happens to be a Christian leader or white male clergyman”
Oh, come now! That’s only about 85% of cases.
“…to making Christians look like stereotypical bigots who use hate speech…”
We aren’t. We don’t use hate speech; simply quotes from our Bible that promote the extermination of pagans, ‘homoes’, Communists, terrorists, Liberals, and all false religions.
“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is aimed not at entertainment, but rather at the philosophical destruction of every virtue and the promotion of every vice.”
In fact, America SHOULD have a special police force which sees to the promotion of virtue, and the prevention of vice! We would be first in the world to do so, and it would work brilliantly.
“…John Wayne had to do with Brokeback Mountain.”
I will have you know that my father, the late great “Tex” Avery, would almost certainly have been given either (or both!) roles in “Brokeback Mountain” were he still alive today!
“In my latest book, “The Culture-Wise Family”…”
Please, buy my book. Every page has easy-to-read large-print words suitable for low-intelligence readers in the Southern United States, whom I call my “darlin’ demographic”.
“Of course, the answer to the humanist worldview and pagan immorality of movies like this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”
Absolutely! Only by following literally these doctored texts from thousands of years ago, can we make decisions better structured than any given to us by “Science”.
MOVIEGUIDE is dedicated to redeeming values of Hollywood by informing parents about today’s movies, and making huge amounts of money in the process. That’s what I’m in this for. Was it not obvious?
I am Dr. Ted Baehr, founder of the Christian Film & Television Commission and of http://www.movieguide.org
To quote:
“Maybe they’d be laughing harder if they were seated close enough to Baehr to watch his foaming-at-the-mouth reaction to the goings-on.”
I was hardly foaming-at-the-mouth, to use your own words. Simply that I took serious offense to the anti-Biblical content of the movie, as any good Christian should.
“Because any straight guy who sleeps with women and likes looking at sexy pictures of them is obviously perverted.”
This is also true, according to the Bible.
“The excessive homosexual content is just more is just more psychological conditioning from the neo-Marxist, anti-Christian politically correct philosophers of our day…”
It is true. America is under attack from the pro-Communist, Socialist, crazy loony Left. It is only through the providence of Jesus Christ our Lord that President George W. Bush has managed to do such an excellent job of leading our great nation, with so much treachery afoot in America today.
“Some of these opinion leaders even support lenient prison sentences for pedophiles who abuse children”
As an evangelical Christian American, I’m not afraid to point a finger at Catholicism’s Papalcy in this regard.
“unless, of course, the pedophile happens to be a Christian leader or white male clergyman”
Oh, come now! That’s only about 85% of cases.
“…to making Christians look like stereotypical bigots who use hate speech…”
We aren’t. We don’t use hate speech; simply quotes from our Bible that promote the extermination of pagans, ‘homoes’, Communists, terrorists, Liberals, and all false religions.
“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” is aimed not at entertainment, but rather at the philosophical destruction of every virtue and the promotion of every vice.”
In fact, America SHOULD have a special police force which sees to the promotion of virtue, and the prevention of vice! We would be first in the world to do so, and it would work brilliantly.
“…John Wayne had to do with Brokeback Mountain.”
I will have you know that my father, the late great “Tex” Avery, would almost certainly have been given either (or both!) roles in “Brokeback Mountain” were he still alive today!
“In my latest book, “The Culture-Wise Family”…”
Please, buy my book. Every page has easy-to-read large-print words suitable for low-intelligence readers in the Southern United States, whom I call my “darlin’ demographic”.
“Of course, the answer to the humanist worldview and pagan immorality of movies like this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”
Absolutely! Only by following literally these doctored texts from thousands of years ago, can we make decisions better structured than any given to us by “Science”.
MOVIEGUIDE is dedicated to redeeming values of Hollywood by informing parents about today’s movies, and making huge amounts of money in the process. That’s what I’m in this for. Was it not obvious?
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