Over at Pajamas (We Thought the Name Was Ironic at the Time) Media, Andrew Klavan is busy growing a petri dish full of wisdom in his column, Klavan On The Culture. Andrew, who has graced WO’C once or twice in the past, is the author of numerous novels and screenplays. Here’s a taste of his latest opus:
The Last Thing I RememberApr 30, 2009
Andrew’s new suspense novel for Young Adults is now available at bookstores and amazon.com. “The Last Thing I Remember” is the story of Charlie West, an ordinary, straight arrow teenager who goes to bed one night and wakes up strapped to a chair being tortured by jihadists. Charlie’s desperate struggle to find out how he got into a situation like this will challenge him in every way, forcing him to rely on his faith, his courage and his fighting skills to stay alive. This is the first novel in Andrew’s Homelanders series
Wow, it’s like The Hardy Boys meet Hostel. Fans of Andrew’s YA fiction will be excited to learn he’s just signed on to pen the revival of The Baby-sitters Club series:
Jessi and the JihadistsAll your favorites are back! When Jessi and Mallory are raped and murdered by Islamofascists, it’s up to original Baby-sitter Club members Kristy, Claudia, Mary Anne, and Stacey to hunt them down through the mean streets of Stoneybrook and exact a bloody revenge. This is the first novel in Andrews Blut Madchen series.
This week, Andrew went to see The Hangover, and he’s returned brimming with conservative insights. Unlike most critics, he didn’t find the film particularly funny — but that’s only because he thought it was a documentary.
A lot of critics get all huffy about this depiction of the sexes [in film comedies]…But you know what? I suspect a lot of it is simple realism. More and more often I meet young guys just like this: overgrown kids who are their grim wives’ poodles…They “share” household and child-rearing tasks equally – which isn’t really equal at all because they don’tcare about a clean house or a well-reared child anywhere near as much as their wives do.
Most men, faced with raising a child, would gladly abandon it in the forest and hope a pack of wolves will pick up the slack. Which is why conservatives must continue the fight against marriage equality. This holy institution, as we know, was anointed by God for the purpose of begetting and rearing children, even though a full 50% of the partnership couldn’t give a crap about it. So imagine what would happen to children growing up in a house where both partners were male? The home of the typical married gay couple would be a filthy sty full of feral toddlers. So I guess that means we should only let lesbians get married…Wait. No. Because then they could still fool us by getting a sex change like Chastity Bono and just start the whole horrible cycle all over again!
In short, each one seems set to spend his life taking orders from a perpetually dissatisfied Mrs. who sounds to me – forgive me but just speaking in all honesty – like a bloody shrike. Who can blame these poor shnooks if they go out and get drunk or laid or just plain divorced?
Women with their own personalities are the reason the rates of alcoholism, STDs, and divorce are so high in this country. What we need, instead of changes in statute to permit same-sex couples to wed, is a fundamental reform of the law that will recognize marriage as a union between one man and one Realdoll™.
I’m the old-fashioned King of the Castle type: my wife knew it when she married me, she knows it now, and she knows where the door is if she gets sick of it.
Now that’s True Love. It reminds me of Romeo and Juliet; but instead of taking their own lives, rather than face a life without love, they beat each other to death with shovels in the crypt.
And you can curse me or consign me to Feminist Hell or whatever you want to do. But when you’re done, answer me this: why would a man get married under any other circumstances? I’m serious. What’s in it for him? I mean, marriage is a large sacrifice for a man. He gives up his right to sleep with a variety of partners, which is as basic an urge in men as having children is in women.
Apparently Andrew thinks the life of the average single guy is a nonstop roundelay of hot chicks, cool jazz, dry martinis, and large black velvet bow ties. Whereas I think of it more as a Tilt-A-Whirl of Mac-n-Cheese, psycho roommates, awkward first dates, and ziggurats of accumulated laundry.
He takes on responsibilities which will probably curtail both his work and his social life. If he doesn’t also acquire authority, gravitas, respect and, yes, mastery over his own home, what does he get? Companionship? Hey, stay single, dude, you’ll have a lot more money, and then you can buycompanionship.
As Maggie Gallagher’s National Organization for Marriage states: “Love is a great thing. But marriage isn’t just any kind of love; it’s the special love of husband and wife for each other and their children.” On the downside, it cuts into Daddy’s whoring.
All right, I know, I’m a mean old man. But I’ve also been blissfully married for 30 years to a woman who wakes up singing.
Ah, so she’s insane. That explains it.
I think some of these young guys have been sold a bill of goods, I really do. I think they’ve been told what they’re supposed to be like and have sacrificed what they are like. Maybe their marriages are more “fair” than mine but just looking at them, I think they’re miserable. And I suspect, deep down, their wives are probably miserable too.
Yes, if there’s one thing women hate, it’s equality. And spiders. And that weird form of sleep apnea where you wake up in the middle of the night belting out “Brush Up Your Shakespeare” from Kiss Me Kate.
Posted by scott on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 pm
41 Responses to “Only A Homo Would Want To Get Married!”
“I mean, marriage is a large sacrifice for a man. He gives up his right to sleep with a variety of partners, which is as basic an urge in men as having children is in women.”
What an arsehole. No one has a right to get laid in the first place. If you find someone who is willing to sleep with you for the rest of their life then you should be bloody grateful instead of whining about all the hypothetical sex from strangers you’re not getting. He sounds like the virginal 15 year olds I remember from secondary school who lived under the delusion that the only reason they weren’t getting any was because women were bitches rather than they were spotty, smelly charmless urks who no sane teenaged girl would touch with a bargepole.
What an arsehole. No one has a right to get laid in the first place. If you find someone who is willing to sleep with you for the rest of their life then you should be bloody grateful instead of whining about all the hypothetical sex from strangers you’re not getting. He sounds like the virginal 15 year olds I remember from secondary school who lived under the delusion that the only reason they weren’t getting any was because women were bitches rather than they were spotty, smelly charmless urks who no sane teenaged girl would touch with a bargepole.
Looks like someone practiced abstinence like a good boy and waited until he got married before moving out and having sex.
Now, thirty years later, he’s in a marriage with a woman he doesn’t love (and probably realized, soon after the honeymoon that he never really did) and feeds on bitterness-inducing delusions about what he’s missed.
Oh, and Andrew, I have no doubt your wife knows where the door is, but I think you’re confused about who’s going to be using it when she “gets sick of (you).” If you doubt me, just reflect on the fact that you’ve just published to the world what a misogynistic prick you are.
Now, thirty years later, he’s in a marriage with a woman he doesn’t love (and probably realized, soon after the honeymoon that he never really did) and feeds on bitterness-inducing delusions about what he’s missed.
Oh, and Andrew, I have no doubt your wife knows where the door is, but I think you’re confused about who’s going to be using it when she “gets sick of (you).” If you doubt me, just reflect on the fact that you’ve just published to the world what a misogynistic prick you are.
Whenever I hear straighty wingnuts describe what marriage means to them-which appears to be having someone you rule over and control (or, if you’re a woman, being under someone’s control voluntarily), it just fucking creeps me out! I mean, it physically makes my skin crawl.
It goes a long ways to explaining why they’re oppopsed to gay marriage. I mean, when a same-sex couple tie the knot, how do we know who the owner is, and who’s the chattel?
It goes a long ways to explaining why they’re oppopsed to gay marriage. I mean, when a same-sex couple tie the knot, how do we know who the owner is, and who’s the chattel?
Oh, and after getting a peek into this guy’s brain and a look at his face, I think he should thank whatever God he worships that he found a woman willing to spend her life tethered to him. ‘Cause I have a feeling that, no matter how strong the urge to pork as many females as he could mighta been, it never went beyond the theoretical for him. There can’t be that many women shopping in the bargain bin of manhood you’d find HIM in.
“I mean, when a same-sex couple tie the knot, how do we know who the owner is, and who’s the chattel? ”
More than that…these types of guys see the world as a global battlefield in which solitary gladiators battle for limited resources (wives function, at best, in a support role–and to Klavan, apparently not even in that, being a drag on his manly potential and all).
Gay marriage is Double Teaming. Not Fair!
I think this is why anti-marriage folks seem to think recognizing equal rights is actually granting SPECIAL rights to gays. How’s a husband saddled with a worthless woman supposed to compete with a well-oiled tag team?
More than that…these types of guys see the world as a global battlefield in which solitary gladiators battle for limited resources (wives function, at best, in a support role–and to Klavan, apparently not even in that, being a drag on his manly potential and all).
Gay marriage is Double Teaming. Not Fair!
I think this is why anti-marriage folks seem to think recognizing equal rights is actually granting SPECIAL rights to gays. How’s a husband saddled with a worthless woman supposed to compete with a well-oiled tag team?
This guy reminds me why I’d rather take a crap in Macy’s window during rush hour than be married.
Well, to be fair, Toni, not ALL marriages are like that. I mean, if you meet somebody who actually LIKES you, it wouyldn’t be that bad.
See, that’s the problem with people like Klaven. Since finding someone who’d actually like him is impossible, he’d have to settle for some who just barely stomach his presence in exchange for a place to live. Sure, he COULD work on being less of an asswipe, but that’d mean HE’D have to do some work.
See, that’s the problem with people like Klaven. Since finding someone who’d actually like him is impossible, he’d have to settle for some who just barely stomach his presence in exchange for a place to live. Sure, he COULD work on being less of an asswipe, but that’d mean HE’D have to do some work.
“wouldn’t”, not wouyldn’t”. This is the second time in the last hour I’ve accidently hit a “y” spelling that word. And failed to notice before hitting “submit”.
*jaw dropping*
You know, if I had shit that ugly in my head, I’d keep it to myself for fear of never being allowed near humans again. We are definitely well into eighteen rabid, skunk-sprayed polecats in a mesh bag territory here.
Andrew, just because it’s fizzed across your synapses, doesn’t mean you have to *share* it. Jesus.
You know, if I had shit that ugly in my head, I’d keep it to myself for fear of never being allowed near humans again. We are definitely well into eighteen rabid, skunk-sprayed polecats in a mesh bag territory here.
Andrew, just because it’s fizzed across your synapses, doesn’t mean you have to *share* it. Jesus.
Just for the record: I had a great marriage for over ten years with a PARTNER (NOT a chattel) and had two great kids. I loved being married, and would do it again in a heartbeat.
“The Last Thing I Remember” is the story of Charlie West Andrew Klavan, an ordinary, straight arrow teenager who goes to bed one night and wakes up strapped to a chair being tortured by jihadists.
Fixed for accuracy.
Most men, faced with raising a child, would gladly abandon it in the forest and hope a pack of wolves will pick up the slack.
Wolves? Hell, I’d settle for a large family of dung beetles…
I’m the old-fashioned King of the Castle type: my wife knew it when she married me, she knows it now, and she knows where the door is if she gets sick of it.
Because He’s The Man! (complete with lyrics!)
He gives up his right to sleep with a variety of partners, which is as basic an urge in men as having children is in women.
Two observations here: he gives up the right, but not the ability (as in, Drew, you have the right to remain silent, but clearly not the ability) and Drew? Seriously? Laid? YOU???
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
But I’ve also been blissfully married for 30 years to a woman who wakes up singing.
….the Prisoner’s Song, no doubt.
Oh, and Andrew, I have no doubt your wife knows where the door is, but I think you’re confused about who’s going to be using it when she “gets sick of (you).” If you doubt me, just reflect on the fact that you’ve just published to the world what a misogynistic prick you are.
TM, never underestimate the power of brainwashing and Stepfordification.
I loved being married, and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Seconded. In fact, I’m always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. to give my money away to.
Seriously, as much fun as I’m having a single-again guy, I miss, reeeeeally miss, having the same warm body next to me, night after night.
But I would never, ever, take marriage advice like this. In fact, to the women and true men on this blog and anyone else who tainted their eyeballs with this shit, on behalf of all men everywhere, I apologize.
And this is going into my next book. Goddam, but I just found a whole new chapter to write!
Fixed for accuracy.
Most men, faced with raising a child, would gladly abandon it in the forest and hope a pack of wolves will pick up the slack.
Wolves? Hell, I’d settle for a large family of dung beetles…
I’m the old-fashioned King of the Castle type: my wife knew it when she married me, she knows it now, and she knows where the door is if she gets sick of it.
Because He’s The Man! (complete with lyrics!)
He gives up his right to sleep with a variety of partners, which is as basic an urge in men as having children is in women.
Two observations here: he gives up the right, but not the ability (as in, Drew, you have the right to remain silent, but clearly not the ability) and Drew? Seriously? Laid? YOU???
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
But I’ve also been blissfully married for 30 years to a woman who wakes up singing.
….the Prisoner’s Song, no doubt.
Oh, and Andrew, I have no doubt your wife knows where the door is, but I think you’re confused about who’s going to be using it when she “gets sick of (you).” If you doubt me, just reflect on the fact that you’ve just published to the world what a misogynistic prick you are.
TM, never underestimate the power of brainwashing and Stepfordification.
I loved being married, and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Seconded. In fact, I’m always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. to give my money away to.
Seriously, as much fun as I’m having a single-again guy, I miss, reeeeeally miss, having the same warm body next to me, night after night.
But I would never, ever, take marriage advice like this. In fact, to the women and true men on this blog and anyone else who tainted their eyeballs with this shit, on behalf of all men everywhere, I apologize.
And this is going into my next book. Goddam, but I just found a whole new chapter to write!
“Andrew, just because it’s fizzed across your synapses, doesn’t mean you have to *share* it. Jesus.”
Best line of the week !
Best line of the week !
So basically the entire point of this clown’s column was to brag about what a huge a–hole he is?
Oh Scott! AKlavan has been reading this! He’s UPDATED!
UPDATE: Lest anyone misinterpret this post to mean I bully, mistreat or otherwise disrespect my much beloved wife – behavior I would likewise consider low and unmanly – please read what I wrote about her on my old blog here. It was meant to be a Valentine’s Day op-ed but no newspaper editor would touch it.
Click the link. I dare you. If Klavan’s description is accurate, they deserve each other.
UPDATE: Lest anyone misinterpret this post to mean I bully, mistreat or otherwise disrespect my much beloved wife – behavior I would likewise consider low and unmanly – please read what I wrote about her on my old blog here. It was meant to be a Valentine’s Day op-ed but no newspaper editor would touch it.
Click the link. I dare you. If Klavan’s description is accurate, they deserve each other.
Well, no, I wasn’t assuming he abused his wife, but, yeah, disrespect, I’ll plead on that assumption. Because, you know, he pretty much came out and said he would find her absence so undisturbing that he can’t be bothered to even fake a desire for her to stay. Seriously, Andrew, if my partner were going to leave me, I’d be heartbroken enough to at least stand in the doorway and try to find out what the problem was and if there was any way we could work things out, even if that meant changing some of my habits or, for example, agreeing to take Zyprexa, even though it’s not nearly as much fun as the class-action lawsuits make it out to be. I’m batshit schizophrenic with people skills bordering on non-existent, and even I know that one’s partner wants more than “You know where the door is” out of a relationship.
Meanwhile, I’m sorry, now realizing that Andrew has been reading along, to have censored my original comments in the name of attempting rudimentary people skills. What I was going to suggest, but didn’t because I thought it was exactly the kind of self-revelation that creeps people the fuck out, was that reading Andrew’s essay there made me feel like I’d just watched someone jack off on a decomposing, oozing, whale carcass. Ugh.
Meanwhile, I’m sorry, now realizing that Andrew has been reading along, to have censored my original comments in the name of attempting rudimentary people skills. What I was going to suggest, but didn’t because I thought it was exactly the kind of self-revelation that creeps people the fuck out, was that reading Andrew’s essay there made me feel like I’d just watched someone jack off on a decomposing, oozing, whale carcass. Ugh.
Comments are closed for this post.
Andrew may be king of his castlette, but he’s a coward with his fingers in his ears. By the way, toots, I put a roof over my own head. Don’t need to sell out to someone like you.
Andrew may be king of his castlette, but he’s a coward with his fingers in his ears. By the way, toots, I put a roof over my own head. Don’t need to sell out to someone like you.
Newspapers wouldn’t touch that love note? No shit?
She sounds like a Stockholm Syndrome victim and he sounds like the most unlikable character ever to ooze out of an O’Hara novel — and the only one who isn’t smart enough to hate himself.
She sounds like a Stockholm Syndrome victim and he sounds like the most unlikable character ever to ooze out of an O’Hara novel — and the only one who isn’t smart enough to hate himself.
Andrew may be king of his castlette
He’s not even king of his moist towelette…
He’s not even king of his moist towelette…
Thanks for the link, actor. I made it through two and one-quarter paragraphs, and I’m planning on finishing it now at the rate of one word per day.
By the way, it’s dollars to doughnuts that the woman who says the secret of a happy marriage is “never say no to sex” has never had anything worthy of the name.
By the way, it’s dollars to doughnuts that the woman who says the secret of a happy marriage is “never say no to sex” has never had anything worthy of the name.
By the way, it’s dollars to doughnuts that the woman who says the secret of a happy marriage is “never say no to sex” has never had anything worthy of the name.
Or was married to Dennis “Serial Rapist” Prager.
Or was married to Dennis “Serial Rapist” Prager.
“never say no to sex”
With any man. That’s the secret of her happiness.
With any man. That’s the secret of her happiness.
The Frau Doktorin usually wakes up screaming. Does that count?
Bill S:
It goes a long ways to explaining why they’re oppopsed to gay marriage. I mean, when a same-sex couple tie the knot, how do we know who the owner is, and who’s the chattel?
“Which one’s the husband?”
Now ask me a hard one.
It goes a long ways to explaining why they’re oppopsed to gay marriage. I mean, when a same-sex couple tie the knot, how do we know who the owner is, and who’s the chattel?
“Which one’s the husband?”
Now ask me a hard one.
Same question as mine, different wording.
It seems to confuse a lot of straight people that same-sex couples don’t necessarily role-play.
It seems to confuse a lot of straight people that same-sex couples don’t necessarily role-play.
It seems to confuse a lot of straight people that same-sex couples don’t necessarily role-play.
Yeah, says who?
Oh, you mean wife-husband role play. Never mind. I thought you meant, like, amateur naturalist meets raised-by-owls girl. Never mind.
Yeah, says who?
Oh, you mean wife-husband role play. Never mind. I thought you meant, like, amateur naturalist meets raised-by-owls girl. Never mind.
Somebody needs to tell this revolting fossil a few things: 1. You don’t have to “give up” fucking rights just because you got married. Ask Governor Stanford. No, don’t. But seriously, it’s possible to be polyamorous, or have open relationships, or swap, or swing, or whatever people do. 2. Women probably fuck around just as much as men do (40% women to 60% men wuz the last stats I read); 3. Two out of three straight folks wind up in divorce courts, and a goodly portion of those cases involved fucking around (ask John Ensign, no, don’t); 4. Lots of women (straight or gay) would rather have a hot little quickie than kids, most just don’t think they have that option; 5. These days, nobody needs to marry a complete asshole to have kids. Long as you can use a turkey baster, you’re set. 6. Most women these days can also afford to keep a roof over their own heads instead of having to rely on some asshole like Himself to feed them.
Geez, what a febrile muckhead. Oh, and Scott, pls not 2 insult petri dishes, which are clean, overall and generally. Mr. My Dick Is So Big I Need A Wheelbarrow To Cart It Around is obviously more in the nature of the mold you find growing in a cess-pit.
Geez, what a febrile muckhead. Oh, and Scott, pls not 2 insult petri dishes, which are clean, overall and generally. Mr. My Dick Is So Big I Need A Wheelbarrow To Cart It Around is obviously more in the nature of the mold you find growing in a cess-pit.
I apologize for not being clearer, D. Sidhe.
What creeps *me* out is the extreme disconnect between the tone of the Valentine post and the tone of the Stay-Single-Dude post. It’s, like, bipolar, dude. The Valentine post is one of the strangest combos of smarm and self-congratulation I’ve come across since the last snippet of GWBush on the campaign trail I was unfortunate enough to be exposed to. Klavan’s tone about his wife reminds me of that old Python sketch with Eric Idle as a sycophantic emcee writhing in ecstatic self-abnegation as he introduces a Big Celebrity – - except all the time you get the distinct feeling that it’s really Mister BigDongProvider who’s the celebrity.
Then the newer post is just hateful. BigDong’s probably pissed at the little woman for some reason, and took it out on her in this post. Nice marriage you got there, fella.
Then the newer post is just hateful. BigDong’s probably pissed at the little woman for some reason, and took it out on her in this post. Nice marriage you got there, fella.
D. Sidhe:
Never mind. I thought you meant, like, amateur naturalist meets raised-by-owls girl.
The “whooo gives a fuck” scenario?
I can’t believe I just said that. Kill me now.
Never mind. I thought you meant, like, amateur naturalist meets raised-by-owls girl.
The “whooo gives a fuck” scenario?
I can’t believe I just said that. Kill me now.
My father is dead. He was eaten by owls.
[/Gormenghast]
[/Gormenghast]
Lots of great comments about Klavan’s cynical, misogynistic (yet also somehow misandrist) piece. I won’t try to add to this, I’d just like to comment on the throwaway bit at the top:
“The Last Thing I Remember” is the story of Charlie West, an ordinary, straight arrow teenager who goes to bed one night and wakes up strapped to a chair being tortured by jihadists.
Wow. It’s just like Kafka…if Kafka had sustained a concussion and recovered in a hospital room with a TV showing Fox News round the clock. I’d sincerely like to get my hands on a copy of that book – partially because I’m writing a similar story and I’d like to use Klavan’s work as a “don’t let this happen to you,” but mainly because that short little description makes it sound hilariously bad. I could go on for pages on the bad decisions he’s made. The clincher, though, is the easy to miss bit at the end indicating that this is to be part of a series called “Homelanders,” which sounds like a really bad American remake of a British soap opera and is likely the working title of his little Red Dawn: The Next Generation project.
“The Last Thing I Remember” is the story of Charlie West, an ordinary, straight arrow teenager who goes to bed one night and wakes up strapped to a chair being tortured by jihadists.
Wow. It’s just like Kafka…if Kafka had sustained a concussion and recovered in a hospital room with a TV showing Fox News round the clock. I’d sincerely like to get my hands on a copy of that book – partially because I’m writing a similar story and I’d like to use Klavan’s work as a “don’t let this happen to you,” but mainly because that short little description makes it sound hilariously bad. I could go on for pages on the bad decisions he’s made. The clincher, though, is the easy to miss bit at the end indicating that this is to be part of a series called “Homelanders,” which sounds like a really bad American remake of a British soap opera and is likely the working title of his little Red Dawn: The Next Generation project.
Same question as mine, different wording.
It seems to confuse a lot of straight people that same-sex couples don’t necessarily role-play.
See, this is why I love this place, because amidst all the snark, sarcasm and hurt-my-abs laughs, a kernel of truth occasionally sprouts into a full-fledged vine-o-fact in my head.
Bill. I get it now. I get why people feel “threatened” by gay marriage.
It’s not the two men or two women bit. That they can fathom.
It’s the fucking equality.
“My god, you mean you actually get to *decide* who does the dishes!?!?!?!”
It seems to confuse a lot of straight people that same-sex couples don’t necessarily role-play.
See, this is why I love this place, because amidst all the snark, sarcasm and hurt-my-abs laughs, a kernel of truth occasionally sprouts into a full-fledged vine-o-fact in my head.
Bill. I get it now. I get why people feel “threatened” by gay marriage.
It’s not the two men or two women bit. That they can fathom.
It’s the fucking equality.
“My god, you mean you actually get to *decide* who does the dishes!?!?!?!”
“The Last Thing I Remember” is the story of Charlie West, an ordinary, straight arrow teenager who goes to bed one night and wakes up strapped to a chair being tortured by jihadists.
Before 9/11, he would have awakened in a bathtub full of ice with one kidney missing. Or maybe that is how the jihadists are torturing him?
Before 9/11, he would have awakened in a bathtub full of ice with one kidney missing. Or maybe that is how the jihadists are torturing him?
“My god, you mean you actually get to *decide* who does the dishes!?!?!?!”
That’s what kids are for.
That’s what kids are for.
I remember struggling with the challenge of gender roles. I had a gay friend or two and had to struggle with my own anger at feeling boxed in by gender roles.
After reading this very nasty diatribe and the other sentimental post that he provided to show his more humane side, I’d say he’s about like a large number of men I’ve met before.
There women willingly made a pact to be taken care of and in return they will “take care of” him and his brood she breeds for him. She gets put on a pedestal, receives worship, adulation and economic security. She sacrifices power and the right to be a full fledged individual.
Of course these people hate women like me and anyone else who challenges their delicate little world. Flexibility is not part of the lexicon, which I think is the reason why this man and so many others like him feel the need to impress their version of the world onto everyone, by force if necessary.
They have to force themselves to follow their ideal, GODDAMNIT, how dare anyone just shoosh their whole reason to exist away like that? Just who the hell do us wishy-washy, relativists think we are?
What the hell will Mary-Ellen do if Klavan shows a little feminine side? What will happen to her feminine side? What if Mary-Ellen decides to build the garage herself or ride her own Harley? OR GAD Have Klavan RIDE ON THE BACK LIKE THE BITCH??
After reading this very nasty diatribe and the other sentimental post that he provided to show his more humane side, I’d say he’s about like a large number of men I’ve met before.
There women willingly made a pact to be taken care of and in return they will “take care of” him and his brood she breeds for him. She gets put on a pedestal, receives worship, adulation and economic security. She sacrifices power and the right to be a full fledged individual.
Of course these people hate women like me and anyone else who challenges their delicate little world. Flexibility is not part of the lexicon, which I think is the reason why this man and so many others like him feel the need to impress their version of the world onto everyone, by force if necessary.
They have to force themselves to follow their ideal, GODDAMNIT, how dare anyone just shoosh their whole reason to exist away like that? Just who the hell do us wishy-washy, relativists think we are?
What the hell will Mary-Ellen do if Klavan shows a little feminine side? What will happen to her feminine side? What if Mary-Ellen decides to build the garage herself or ride her own Harley? OR GAD Have Klavan RIDE ON THE BACK LIKE THE BITCH??
IN my first paragraph, I didn’t clarify, I went through the typical gender roles/questioning thing as a teenager. My point that I didn’t make in that was that, I was over it by the time I was in my early twenties. Why can’t these people get over that hump of development?
Also, after suffering through marriage, I believe its a sham, we can find people for comfort for life, sure, but the contract, what’s up with that?
ANd I do challenge gender roles while being straight, which really fucks these people’s heads all which ways.
Also, after suffering through marriage, I believe its a sham, we can find people for comfort for life, sure, but the contract, what’s up with that?
ANd I do challenge gender roles while being straight, which really fucks these people’s heads all which ways.
Um, Kate? I think guys like him hate all women. It’s just, he has to be reasonably nice to one of them so he’ll get a little nookie (for which he’s paying and paying, of course).
I sometimes think guys like that would be better off if they were gay. I mean, since they don’t like wom,en much anyway, why not find an environment where they won’t have to deal with them?
The problem with that is, they wouldn’t treat a male lover any better. They might even be worse. They’d be the type of guy who sayus to himself, “As long as I’m the top, I’m not REALLY gay.” If it was pointed out to him that he couldn’t sustain a hard-on long for the duration of sex if he was at least a little turned on by a dude, said partner would get a beating.
The solution, really, is to just send them to a remote island with a stack of porn magazines and a case of lube containing some slow acting, undetectable toxin.
The problem with that is, they wouldn’t treat a male lover any better. They might even be worse. They’d be the type of guy who sayus to himself, “As long as I’m the top, I’m not REALLY gay.” If it was pointed out to him that he couldn’t sustain a hard-on long for the duration of sex if he was at least a little turned on by a dude, said partner would get a beating.
The solution, really, is to just send them to a remote island with a stack of porn magazines and a case of lube containing some slow acting, undetectable toxin.
I keep thinking about this poor woman and how she may never have the pleasure of knowing a real man.
Caption contest!
“Accessorize with J crew head buff, $800.”
“Accessorize with J crew head buff, $800.”
I sometimes think guys like that would be better off if they were gay.
Can we trade? I’ll even take Perez Hilton off your hands, cheap!
Can we trade? I’ll even take Perez Hilton off your hands, cheap!
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