Sadly, it seems that being “founder, editor and CEO of WND and a nationally syndicated columnist with Creators Syndicate,” isn’t enough for Joseph Farah anymore. Something’s missing from his life. Relevance? Excitement? That old tomcat sway in the hips? Who can say. But it’s clear that the prospect of writing his syndicated column, then enjoying a complete breakfast, before retiring to the scullery to boot black his mustache is no longer enough to get him out of bed in the morning; which may explain why he’s still clinging to the Obama birth certificate issue. What, after all, is Ahab without the white whale? Just a grumpy fishermen with a lot of spare shoes.
Speaking of harpooning a dead cetacean, the last time I checked World Net Daily, the first thirteen articles on the front page were all related to Farah’s hobbyhorse, including an exclusive by Joseph himself explaining Why Obama wants to hide birth certificate
Since I began my quixotic campaign to uncover Barack Obama’s birth certificate, many have asked me about the president’s possible motives for hiding it with such tenacity and diligence. I think there are many plausible motives:
- Perhaps something in that birth certificate, if it indeed exists, would contradict assertions Obama has made about his life’s story. These might even involve his true parental heritage. Without a real birth certificate, no one really knows who his parents were. So it is ridiculous even to speculate about whether citizenship could be conferred upon him by his mother, when we don’t know for sure who his mother is.
So just to recap, Farah demands to see Obama’s birth certificate, and when the document in question is supplied, he haughtily declares that itdoes not exist! Which is kind of a psychotic, but entertaining twist on the Hans Christian Anderson original, with the peasants all standing around in the nude while a child cries out, “the Emperor is overdressed for the occasion!”
Anyway, Joseph would merely like to point out that Stanley Ann Dunham may have only pretended to give birth to Barack Obama, when in reality his mother was an entirely different white woman from Kansas, whose progeny Stanley Ann swiped, Gypsy-like, because she wanted to give her parents the mulatto grandson they’d always wanted.
Perhaps it reveals a foreign birth, as Hawaii allowed for in 1961 while still issuing the “certification of live birth” we have seen posted on his website. Or perhaps it will show just what Obama has claimed all along – a birth in Hawaii to two officially non-citizen parents, for the purpose of establishing “natural born citizenship” under the Constitution.
Or because that’s where his mother lived, when to school, and where she met and married his father.
What do I mean by that last possibility?
That the depth of your douchebaggery is exceeded only by the breadth of your porn ‘stache?
Well, as you know, in 2008, the Senate of the United States held hearings to determine if one of the presidential candidates fulfilled the requirement of being a “natural born citizen.” It wasn’t Barack Obama. It was John McCain, who was born on a U.S. military base overseas to two U.S. citizens.On April 10 of last year, two senators, both Democrats, Patrick Leahy of Vermont and Claire McCaskill of Missouri, introduced a resolution into upper house expressing a sense of the Senate that McCain was indeed a “natural born citizen.”It’s interesting what Leahy had to say on the subject: “Because he was born to American citizens (emphasis added), there is no doubt in my mind that Senator McCain is a natural born citizen. I expect that this will be a unanimous resolution of the U.S. Senate.”And, indeed it was. It was also, interestingly, the only such hearing held by the Congress on the subject of “natural born citizenship” and its application to the 2008 presidential race. Why was that interesting? Because everyone involved in this process knew – or should have known – that the life story told by Barack Obama would raise far more doubts about his eligibility than McCain’s.
And yet, strangely, it’s only the desperate, donation-cadging proprietor of an online supermarket tabloid who seems to care. Clearly, we need a new Senate.
Notice Leahy did not say one parent citizen would qualify a child for “natural born citizenship.” He indicted it would take two to tango.
Is that what he indicted? Well, no, I don’t believe use of the plural constitutes an actual indictment, and anyway, I think it’s still a little early to get the Grand Jury involved, don’t you?
By the way, Obama voted for this resolution, so he obviously agrees with the definition of what constitutes a “natural born citizen” – the offspring of two U.S. citizens.
Or the offspring of one U.S. citizen. Or the offspring of two foreign nationals born in the United States, since I’m pretty sure the 14th Amendment (“all persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States”) still trumps a non-binding Sense of the Senate resolution.
Now, I don’t know who Barack Obama’s parents are, because I have never seen his birth certificate. All I’ve seen is a facsimile of a “certification of live birth” on the Internet. That document, even if genuine, proves nothing about Obama’s birth in Hawaii or who his parents were. Hawaii had a very slipshod practice in 1961 of issuing these documents to babies born outside the country and listing parents who may not have been the parents at all.
“Western standards of systematized record-keeping are beyond those cannibals!”
But I do know who Barack Obama claims his parents were. According to him, neither one of them was an American citizen able to confer natural born citizenship on a child. One, Barack Obama Sr., was a foreign national from Kenya, and the other, Stanley Ann Dunham, was too young to have qualified under the law for bestowing that privilege on her son, even if the father had been a citizen and even in the unlikely event Obama was actually born in Hawaii!
Um, FAIL, as I believe the kids say, Joe. Even if you’re unacquainted with the Constitution, I’m sure that as a right wing trope conduit, you’re familiar with the term “anchor baby.” If not, I’d suggest you ask Michelle Malkin.
So, if we are to take Obama at his word, he is not a natural born citizen and not eligible to serve as president.
But then, everything he says is a lie, so we’re kind of back to square one.
If he is to be judged by the same standard as his opponent in the race, there is no way he qualifies. That’s what Leahy said. That’s what Chertoff said. That’s what the law says.
Says you.
But let me remind you all, in case you hadn’t considered this: Obama plans to run for re-election in 2012. And that’s why we can never, ever let this matter rest.
And it’s due to just that kind of perseverance — specifically, his refusal to let the matter of Free Silver ever rest — that William Jennings Bryan is remembered as one of our greatest Presidents.
Posted by scott on Thursday, June 18th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
21 Responses to “When I Was Young My Upper Lip Was A Jungle, Thick, Steamy and Fecund”
For those who may not have the habit of venturing over to WND to get their news, here are a few more of the vital stories on its front page today:
Is diabetes a bald-faced lie?
‘Mom, dad better than certified teachers’
Report says it’s ‘myth’ that ‘qualifications’ help
Amazing natural fertilizer doubles ‘crisis garden’ production!
Lesbian reporter covers own ‘gay’ wedding
Witches in church ban claim discrimination
I think that sort of puts the birth certificate thing in perspective.
Is diabetes a bald-faced lie?
‘Mom, dad better than certified teachers’
Report says it’s ‘myth’ that ‘qualifications’ help
Amazing natural fertilizer doubles ‘crisis garden’ production!
Lesbian reporter covers own ‘gay’ wedding
Witches in church ban claim discrimination
I think that sort of puts the birth certificate thing in perspective.
Wait, McCain had two parents? Weird. Maybe that’s what Leahy meant by ‘citizens’. The plural thing.
No one with even a casual familiarity with the topic could ever entertain tying natural rights to exacting grammatical standards like the formation of plurals or the agreement of pronouns with their antecedents. Imagine your right to vote determined by whether Michelle Bachmann’s use of “your” and “you’re”, trial by jury depending on Sarah Palin explaining the the finer points of apostrophe use, or the fate of the Free World resting on George W. Bush’s ability to pronounce “nuclear”.
Like Superman, Obama is an illegal alien who saves our country and its inhabitants !
Scott swats the porn-stached one as effortlessly as Obama swats flies.
But . . . Don Ho is Hawaiian. Obama does not look like Don Ho. Therefore, he can’t be Hawaiian. I want to see a birth certificate, too.
But . . . Don Ho is Hawaiian. Obama does not look like Don Ho. Therefore, he can’t be Hawaiian. I want to see a birth certificate, too.
“Stanley Ann Dunham, was too young to have qualified under the law for bestowing that privilege on her son…”
I was a young mother. That must be why no one asked me to bestow citizenship on my children. Oh no, who do I call? My children are illegal!
Anyway as for WND’s investigative tactics, I say Ride On there Soldier! The sky is green, you know it, I know it, keep up the good work son!
I was a young mother. That must be why no one asked me to bestow citizenship on my children. Oh no, who do I call? My children are illegal!
Anyway as for WND’s investigative tactics, I say Ride On there Soldier! The sky is green, you know it, I know it, keep up the good work son!
While many wingnuts doubt Obama’s paternity, this guy goes a step and beyond and doubt Obama’s maternity.
Okay. This is going to look like an attempt at shameless self promotion of my website but it’s not. It occurred to me that all of these people y’all write and comment about support the GOP. They see themselves as honest, hardworking, God loving (or fearing), decent human beings who have the right idea of how this country should run. So here’s some of their work. (Only 600 words, c’mon)
http://theweekincongress.com/Member/ED_ARCHIVE/JUN1209ED.htm
http://theweekincongress.com/Member/ED_ARCHIVE/JUN1209ED.htm
Until I see all the vault copy birth certificates of all the founding fathers I will consider the constitution void!
Amazing natural fertilizer doubles ‘crisis garden’ production!
To me, this sums up perfectly the output of the right wing noise machine.
To me, this sums up perfectly the output of the right wing noise machine.
It was also, interestingly, the only such hearing held by the Congress on the subject of “natural born citizenship” and its application to the 2008 presidential race. Why was that interesting? Because everyone involved in this process knew – or should have known – that the life story told by Barack Obama would raise far more doubts about his eligibility than McCain’s.
Or, perhaps, it was because McCain ADMITTED to being born away from the United States.
You know, just a thought…
Notice Leahy did not say one parent citizen would qualify a child for “natural born citizenship.” He indicted it would take two to tango.
Because Patrick Leahy, while old enough to actually have written parts of the Constitution, was not involved in that part of it, perhaps we should not rely on his opinion?
Stanley Ann Dunham, was too young to have qualified under the law for bestowing that privilege on her son, even if the father had been a citizen and even in the unlikely event Obama was actually born in Hawaii!
Hey! Farah is breaking news here!
TRIPP PALIN IS AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT FROM WOMBANIA!
After all, his mom was underage when he was born…
Or, perhaps, it was because McCain ADMITTED to being born away from the United States.
You know, just a thought…
Notice Leahy did not say one parent citizen would qualify a child for “natural born citizenship.” He indicted it would take two to tango.
Because Patrick Leahy, while old enough to actually have written parts of the Constitution, was not involved in that part of it, perhaps we should not rely on his opinion?
Stanley Ann Dunham, was too young to have qualified under the law for bestowing that privilege on her son, even if the father had been a citizen and even in the unlikely event Obama was actually born in Hawaii!
Hey! Farah is breaking news here!
TRIPP PALIN IS AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT FROM WOMBANIA!
After all, his mom was underage when he was born…
Amazing natural fertilizer doubles ‘crisis garden’ production!
To me, this sums up perfectly the output of the right wing noise machine.
I didn’t know piss-soaked panties were fertilizer…
To me, this sums up perfectly the output of the right wing noise machine.
I didn’t know piss-soaked panties were fertilizer…
I read the use of the plural in the sense of the Senate as referring specifically to McCain’s situation–i.e. that he had two American parents. I don’t think it was meant as an actual statement of general policy on eligibility for the presidency, just a statement on that case, which involved two parents. Which just shows that Farah can’t read.
But WTF about the whole age thing? Is he just pulling crap out of his ass now? I don’t think there’s any age limit in the fourteenth amendment.
Question: now, do all children of unmarried, young mothers suddenly lose their citizenship? Where should we deport them?
But WTF about the whole age thing? Is he just pulling crap out of his ass now? I don’t think there’s any age limit in the fourteenth amendment.
Question: now, do all children of unmarried, young mothers suddenly lose their citizenship? Where should we deport them?
Question: now, do all children of unmarried, young mothers suddenly lose their citizenship? Where should we deport them?
One them exotic places like Alaska.
One them exotic places like Alaska.
I wonder if by describing his campaign as “quixotic” he’s trying for a bit of self-deprecating humor, or if he actually doesn’t know what the word means.
or the fate of the Free World resting on George W. Bush’s ability to pronounce “nuclear”.
And don’t even get me started on the gerunds!
And don’t even get me started on the gerunds!
The second one, EJ.
I was thinking that perhaps Farah’s moustache is obstructing his nostrils and preventing oxygen from reaching his brain, but then I realized that he’s most likely a dedicated mouth-breather, so there goes that theory.
Maybe we need the EPA to regulate fumes from ‘stache waxes…
Unsurprisingly, Farah is utterly and demonstrably wrong about the age thing regarding Farah’s mother.
Farah’s claim rests on an interpretation of federal law at the time of Obama’s birth that citizenship was automatically granted to children born of at least one parent who had lived at least 10 years in the U.S., including five years after the age of 14–in other words, 19. Stanley Ann Dunham was three months shy of her 19th birthday when Obama was born. But subsequent acts of Congress not only changed the law from five years to two years, it made the changes retroactive to 1952. More here, citing no less a legal scholar than Eugene Volokh.
So, yeah, Farah’s lying out of his ass by making that claim. Again, not a surprise.
Farah’s claim rests on an interpretation of federal law at the time of Obama’s birth that citizenship was automatically granted to children born of at least one parent who had lived at least 10 years in the U.S., including five years after the age of 14–in other words, 19. Stanley Ann Dunham was three months shy of her 19th birthday when Obama was born. But subsequent acts of Congress not only changed the law from five years to two years, it made the changes retroactive to 1952. More here, citing no less a legal scholar than Eugene Volokh.
So, yeah, Farah’s lying out of his ass by making that claim. Again, not a surprise.
And don’t even get me started on the gerunds!
Make sure you put the boys and girls in separate cages, too!
Make sure you put the boys and girls in separate cages, too!
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