The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, January 7, 2011

March 11, 2004 by s.z.

Ann Coulter In the News

College newspapers, press releases, and WorldNetDaily count as news sources, right?
If so, here's all the Ann news unfit to print:
1.  The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) has issued a press release, calling on media outlets to drop Ann Coulter's column because she suggested that Muslims smell bad.
"We believe strongly in freedom of speech and support Ann Coulter's right to hold even bigoted and hate-filled views," said CAIR Communications Coordinator Rabiah Ahmed. "But credible media outlets should not associate themselves with or serve to legitimize such overt racism and Islamophobia." Ahmed called on newspapers that publish Coulter's column and on cable news channels that invite her as a guest commentator to reconsider promoting someone who spreads virulent hatred and intolerance.
Per Editor and Publisher, "none of Coulter's approximately 50 clients have complained about the column so far, according to Universal Press Syndicate Director of Communications Kathie Kerr."  But since these clients would be outfits like NewsMax and TownHall, it's not surprising that they haven't complained.  But between this latest imbecility on her part and the criticism regarding her remarks about Max Cleland, hopefully it will cause the cable news channels to stop inviting her to appear on their programs, and colleges to stop paying her to share her view with their students. 

And that brings us to . . .
2.  Somebody defaced posters announcing Ann's speech at the University of New Mexico! 
On the doors of Popejoy Hall, posters for her planned appearance tonight have the words "You too can join the master race" and "You too can think like a war criminal" scribbled across them. Coulter's photo on the fliers also had the words "reactionary loser" and "enemy of the arts" written across it sometime after UNM's College Republicans put them up around campus Sunday.
After a walk around campus Monday, Ryan Brightbill, a UNM junior, said he went looking for the Coulter fliers he had helped put up Sunday. He said when he saw the table for UNM's College Democrats at the Duck Pond, he stopped to talk about Coulter.
"I acted like a Democrat and said it was great that someone was writing on the fliers," he said. "A girl at the duck pond said, 'We had been taking them down and wrote some dirty comments on them as well.'"
Brightbill said as he left he thanked the group and said he was a College Republican.
Wow, it's just like an episode of "Police Woman" ("Ryan, you're going under cover").  So, he dresses up like a College Democrat, infiltrates the group, and manages to get a known villain ("Duck Pond Girl") to make incriminating statements.  After she does, Ryan whips off his wig to reveal that he's really a man (and a College Republican), and says, "Got you, sucker!"  I can hardly wait to see this one on TV!

Anyway, the College Democrat co-president says her group didn't do anything to Ann's posters as far as she knows.   She and the president of the College Republicans affirm that they both know that it's not nice (and is against school policy) to deface the other guys' posters.  But Ryan doesn't think the matter is closed: 
"It is childish, and basically, it is a right that was taken away from the College Republicans," Brightbill said.
What right would that be?  The only one I can think of would be the right of the College Republicans to deface the Ann Coulter posters themselves? (It would be fun, albeit childish fun, to draw goatees and horns on the Ann, but I don't that's a right as much as a privelige.)

But enough of the Poster Affair, how did Ann's speech go?
Coulter's planned appearance tonight has been postponed until late April because she has acute laryngitis, Suozzi said.
Ann has acute laryngitis?  Cool!  Maybe she read my post last week which said she needed to take a vow of silence and try to achieve some kind of spiritual peace.  Or maybe Jesus didn't like her claiming that Christianity isn't about being nice to people, and took away her voice.  Or perhaps God didn't like her saying that the Muslims are smelly and turned her into a monkey.  In any case, the students at the University of New Mexico are safe for another month.  If only the laryngitis would keep her from writing too, life would be good!

3.  But no, her column came out today, as scheduled.  It's another one where Ann defends The Passion, and talks about how everybody is always picking on the Christians (of which, Ann seems to number herself, even though, as somebody pointed out here last week, you never see Ann going to church or doing good works).

This time, Ann takes exception with Bill Safire for saying that The Passion would incite anti-Semetic feelings, but he's wrong, because there haven't been any pogroms yet --  and Ann is really disappointed and wants her money back. 

But this is the part of Safire's review which really sets her off:
The villains at whom the audience's outrage is directed are the actors playing bloodthirsty rabbis and their rabid Jewish followers.
This is the essence of the medieval "passion play," preserved in pre-Hitler Germany at Oberammergau, a source of the hatred of all Jews as "Christ killers."
Ann sneers:
(Certainly every Aryan Nation skinhead murderer I've ever met was also a devoted theater buff and "passion play" aficionado.)
So, if Ann's Aryan skinhead murderer friends aren't passion play fans, then Safire must be wrong about said plays ever inspiring anti-Semitism.  (Yeah, it doesn't make sense, but remember, this is Ann we're talking about.)

She continues:
The "passion play" has been put on in Germany since at least 1633. I guess 1633 would be "pre-Hitler." In addition, Moses walked the Earth "pre-Hitler." The wheel was invented "pre-Hitler." People ate soup "pre-Hitler." Referring to the passion play as "pre-Hitler" is a slightly fancier version of every adolescent's favorite argument: You're like Hitler!
Yes, the Oberammergau Passion Play has been performed at regular intervals since 1634 (not 1633, Ann), but what Safire might have meant was that the play "preserved" anti-Jewish feelings before Hitler was around to do it.  Hitler himself noted what a good job it was doing:
Adolph Hitler saw the performance in 1932, when he was chancellor of Germany. In 1942 he recalled in his journal, "It is vital that the Passion Play be continued at Oberammergau; for never has the menace of Jewry been so convincingly portrayed as in this presentation ... . [O]ne sees in Pontius Pilate a Roman racially and intellectually so superior, that he stands out like a firm, clean rock in the middle of the whole muck and mire of Jewry ... ." Hitler  called the play a "precious tool" in the war against the Jews.
 . . . In the early 20th century, violence sometimes erupted during holy week in Eastern Europe. Inflamed by bizarre accusations, such as the claim that Jews killed Christian children and used their blood to make matzo bread for Passover, marauding gangs murdered and maimed Jews. Hitler hoped Oberammergau would provoke a similar reaction.
Anyway, Ann then claims that despite what liberals and Safire are all suggesting, Hitler wasn't a Christian, and neither was Timothy McVeigh or the Columbine killers.  (No, Safire never mentions McVeigh nor the Columbine killers in his review, but Ann apparently thinks that by criticizing Mel's movie, Safire is blaming all the bad things that ever happened in this country on Christians --and she wants to point out that there are at least two incidents they weren't responsible for.  Oh, and while Ann had said that her only problem with McVeigh is that he didn't get to the NY Times building, she also has a problem with his lack of faith.)

Ann also wants Bill to know that Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, and Mao were all atheists, and none of them cared much for Christianity -- so, they're just like liberals.  And lots of babies have been aborted, but only seven abortion providers have been murdered by Christians.  And the Spanish Inquistion only killed about 30,000 people -- which is a lot fewer deaths than Stalin was responsible for.  
Ann's point?
Does anyone at the Times have the vaguest notion what Christianity is? 
And what it is, per Ann, is a religion which is less murderous than Stalinism, doesn't kill all that many abortion providers, and doesn't include Hitler on its rolls.  I hope that helps the Times with their next review of a Mel Gibson film.

She gives the dolts a little more information about the mysterious sect, to show why Safire was wrong to claim that a movie following the traditions of plays well-known to inspire anti-Jewish violence in the past could ever stir up any ill will towards the Jews:
Jesus' suffering and death is not a Hatfields-and-McCoys story demanding retaliation. The gist of the religion that transformed the world is: God's only son came to Earth to take the punishment we deserved.
And the gist of Mel's movie (which is not a religion, by the way) is that some good-looking guy who hadn't done anything wrong got beat, whipped, scourged, and tortured because some blood-thirsty rabbis and their followers made the Romans do it -- for your sins.

The piece could end there, but Ann hasn't bashed any Muslims yet (except for a passing mention about how they keep whining about the Crusades).  So:
Of course, the original text is no excuse in Hollywood. The villains of Tom Clancy's book "The Sum of All Fears" were recently transformed from Muslim terrorists to neo-Nazis for the movie version. You wouldn't want to upset the little darlings. They might do something rash like slaughter 3,000 innocent American civilians in a single day. The only religion that can be constantly defamed and insulted is the one liberals pretend to be terrified of.
Shorter Ann Coulter: If a columnist in the NY Times says that Mel's movie might inspire anti-Semitism overseas, that proves that liberals "constantly defame and bash" Christianity.  But in reality, it's Islam that's responsible for everything bad that has ever happened since the beginning of time, except for the crimes committed by atheistic commies and a few white Americans who used to be Christians but whom Ann doesn't claim anymore.

Next week: Ann explains that liberals keep saying that Christians use the blood of Jewish babies to make Easter eggs, when in reality Dracula wasn't a Christian.

5:25:45 AM    

Kathryn Jean Lopez and "Dubya, Feminist"

From today's Corner:
and this makes up for that.
Posted at 03:34 PM
The photo which Kaythryn posts is Bush speaking at the "Women's Entrepreneurship in the 21st Century Forum" in Cleveland, Ohio.  The "this" link is to a photo of the same women, politely but unenthusiastically applauding his speech.  "That" is the famous President Bush Signs Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003 photo, which shows Bush signing an act which effects women, while surrounded by men (and large American Flags, giving us this update of Kodos's words: "No partial birth abortions for anybody, large American flags for all.")  But now that you've seen the above photo, you will never again think of that second photo.  Oh, those shrewd White House image makers!

Correctly deducing that a photo of Bush in the same room as some women might not be enough to convince the public that the President's policies are pro-woman, Kathryn immediately follows up with:
DUBYA, FEMINIST [KJL ]His speech today (see below for the LOOK of it) should go in the required reading campaign-info packet, simply for what it does for the "anti-woman" lies.
Posted at 03:40 PM
While I'm not familiar with the "'anti-woman' lies" KLJ is referring to, I can tell you that if his compaign actually requires women to read his speech (which is basically just a less-interesting version of the stump speech), it will be proof of anti-woman policies right there.

Anyway, you read it and see if you can see anything in it which paints Bush as a feminist.  Sure, it shows that Bush is pro-business, and since he was talking to a group of small businesswomen, I guess you could really stretch things and say the speech shows that his policies are pro-THESE women, but only if you're an idiot.  And yes, we already know that Kathryn is an idiot, but work with me and read at least this shortened version of the speech:
* * * * *
Thanks for the invitation to speak.  I like Ohio.  I like women.  My mother and wife are women.
Entrepreneurs are cool.  Women own nearly half of all small businesses, but nearly none of the large ones.  Women start firms at more than twice the national rate, and then most of them fail.  This proves that "the entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well."

Volunteers are the heart of America.  Volunteer more, since the tax cuts mean the government can't afford to provide anything but the essentials, such as wars, Homeland Security, and trips to Mars.

Blah, blah, I didn't start the recession, and things were getting better when the terrorists attacked us, which wasn't my fault.  And then the Enron scandals shocked the economy, but they weren't my fault either.  And then I decided to deal with Saddam Hussein, which cost a lot of money and added to the deficit, but we need to eliminate threats before they actually threaten us, you know?
This economy of ours had been through recession, had been through emergency, had been through corporate scandals, and then I made the necessary decision to deal with Saddam Hussein. September the 11th taught a lesson I will never forget, and our country must never forget. America must confront threats before they fully materialize. That's the lesson of that fateful day. (Applause.)
And hey, everybody looked at the intelligence cooked up by Chalabi and massaged by Dick's boys, and they all said that there was a threat, so you can stop blaming me for those nonexistant WMDs, okay?  And sure, that war was expensive, but the Iraqi people have a constitution now, so it was all worthwhile, because once they have a constitution, they are a democracy, and nothing can ever change that, even after we withdraw our troops this summer.

Anyway, I ended the recession, through tax cuts.  And because I like you business owners the most, I saved the best cuts for you. Plus, I let you deduct SUVs as business expenses.  I'm doing away with estate taxes.  And my ideas are working, since we're developing technology to replace workers, and that leads to lower costs and a stronger economy.  Sure, those people laid off by technology may not be happy, but they can train for new jobs.  McDonalds offers Hamburger University, after all. 

While Kerry just wants to use old, tired ideas like raising taxes to help people without jobs, I plan to create new jobs by invading the world and forcing other nations to buy American products and services.  So, don't worry your pretty little heads about job outsourcing.

Blah, blah, blah, less governmental oversight of businesses, so you gals don't have to fill out paperwork.  Blah, blah, savings accounts for insurance are just as good as insurance, and anyway, it's trial lawyers who get all your health care money, so blame them if you can't afford medicine.

As small business owners, you know how confusing it is when you don't pay the same amount in taxes every year, right?  So, you must act to keep my tax cuts from expiring -- otherwise, you won't have tax consistency.  Math is hard, right girls?

Blah, blah, blah, No Child Left Behind, challenging the bigotry of low expectations by giving kids tests.
And hey, if your job is eliminated, just go to community college and learn to do something that we have a need for.  Everybody's gotta be flexible.
I was in Toledo recently and talked with a guy named Mike Potter. He lost a manufacturing job. He went back to the community college to get retrained. He got help. The government paid. And he got retrained and he found a new job because he was willing to go back to school, and the community college listened to the employers in the community in which he lived.
Mike is now a highly paid heart surgeon, thanks to community college!
You see, if you become a more productive citizen, you'll make more money. Better productivity, better skills means higher pay.
So if you're out of work and/or poor, it's your own damn fault for not being productive enough.

Blah, blah, blah pessimists who said stuff were all proven wrong, and America is doing just great.  We're now selling computer chips to Japan, ice to Eskimos, and coals to Newcastle.

Thanks for owning businesses, employing people, and being women so I can get my photo taken with you.  Good night and God Bless America.
* * * * *
So, that was the speech.  Okay, I punched it up a bit to make it more interesting, but I sure can't see anything in it which might lead Kathryn Jean to think it refutes any allegations about the Bush administration being anti-woman.

And maybe Kathryn realized that too, because she posted again just a minute later:
...Bush-women stuff, not thinking that it makes an ounce of difference to most American women--they don't need the women-OD talk, they need to know he can fight a war, etc.--but to point out its out there, to answer the silly rhetoric some of you get on your college campuses, on the bus ride home, at the kitchen table, etc.
Posted at 03:41 PM
Yes, most American women (at least, TRUE American women) just want a big, strong, manly President who can fight a war, etc. ("etc." meaning "protect us wimmenfolk from swarthy men who might defile us).  But if you need proof to show your man-bashing college professors, leftist bus drivers, and those other NOW-types, that Bush really isn't interfering with women's reproductive rights, then use that speech.  That'll convince 'em! 

12:57:26 AM

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