St. Ann, the Patron Saint of Ignorance
Poor Ann Coulter.
Five weeks ago she called John Kerry a gigolo. Three weeks ago she claimed that Max Cleland was no hero because his injuries resulted when he dropped a grenade on himself while on a non-combat mission. Two weeks ago she called everybody else liars for pointing out the errors in her Max Cleland column. So, how could she ever top that?
Well, how about by claiming that Muslims are smelly and bloodthirsty, and that Christianity isn't about treating others decently, it's about Jesus getting the crap kicked out of him.
Yes, welcome to Ann Coulter, Theologian
Ann starts by claming that the "panic-stricken" NY Times articles about Mel Gibson's movie have convinced her that "liberals haven't the vaguest idea what Christianity is." So, St. Ann issues a fatwa to her followers to invade their country, kill their leaders, and forcibly convert them to it.
Wow, Ann really thinks her line about Muslims being smelly is funny, since she's repeated it several times, But since she is a furious smoker (and not just when she's burning in hell), I doubt she's all that sweetly scented herself.
While Ann did of course, make up that whole thing about liberals thinking that Christianity is about "niceness," I believe that Jesus might disagree with Ann's implication that treating others well is one of the "incidental tenets" of the faith that bears his name. After all, he taught that the two great commandments are, "'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength," and secondly, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." He also said, "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
How "large and complex" is that? Love God. Love other people like Jesus loves them. If you wish to be treated nicely, then be nice to others.
It's a good thing Ann wasn't one of the gospel writers: otherwise, we'd probably have part of the Sermon on the Mount rendered as, "Blessed are the warmakers, for they shall be called gods."
Actually, Jesus' distinctive message was: I have risen from the dead. That's way more distinctive that getting the crap beaten out of one (the Romans beat and crucified lots of people). Jesus isn't our savior because he suffered the most pain or got the longest scourging of all time, but because he spiritually paid the price for our sins. Sure, he suffered a lot, for us, but his getting beat to a pulp isn't the key point of Christianity; rather (IMHO) it's, "Because Jesus and his Father love us, they gave us a way to escape sin, and we should return the favor by treating other people with love."
Anyway, enough Christianity: let's learn why Mel's movie can't be anti-Semitic (it's somehow because of the smelly Moslems having the monopoly on that, and hey, they are all trying to kill us, unlike Mel Gibson, who just wants our money):
Muhammad really gave many specific instructions to kill all non-believers? Could you cite some of them, Ann?
And there are MILLIONS of Muslims trying to kill Americans? Wow, we've really got our work cut out for us, if we're going to kill all of them first.
Ann, honey, first of all, Mel's movie isn't Christianity, it's just a movie. Oh, and Rambo 3 isn't a major world religion either; I just wanted to point that out now.
And second of all, Surah 9:92 actually says:
So, it's about horses. Not about killing Americans.
Wow, for somebody who does such extensive research and knows so much about Islam, that's a pretty stupid mistake to make, Ann. How ever did you come to believe that Surah 9:92 says anything about slaying enemies?
I think a simple Google search might enlighten us:
While there are several more citations for Surah 9:92 and "slay the enemy," they all refer to that same column by Jerry Falwell. So, Ann relied on Jerry Falwell for her information on Islam, and did no cross-checking. As Jesus might say (if he didn't think being kind to others was important): What a maroon!
What Ann might have meant, if she was actually slightly knowledgeable about Islam, was Surah 9:5
And even that verse doesn't instruct Moslems to kill all nonbelievers. As Moiz Amjad explains, when you read it in context, it clearly refers only to a specific group of Pagans/polytheists who had entered into an agreement with the followers of Mohammed, and then broke it; they had helped the Muslims' enemies, conspired to banish Mohammed, and attacked the Muslims first. So, it's not referring to all Pagans, just THOSE pagans.
Just like how when Deuteronomy 7:2 says "And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor show mercy unto them," it refers just to the Canaanites. It isn't a commandment to Jews and Christians today to kill nonbelievers -- or even liberals.
Anyway, since Ann clearly doesn't know much about any religion (but clearly needs some in her life), I suggest she enroll herself in a monastery where she can pray and meditate in silence for the months and years it will take her to achieve spiritual enlightenment. Yes, years of silence. It's the only way.
Who's Looking Out For Those People Bill Is Stealing Ideas From?
Speaking of Bill O'Reilly, Rory O'Connor, writing at MediaChannel.org, is saying that Bill is not only a liar, but also a thief. O'Connor starts by telling how he was invited to talk about the BBC's coverage of the Iraq war on "The O'Reilly Factor," but when it became clear in the pre-interview that he wasn't going to characterize the Beeb as a propaganda organ for Hussein, Bill personally dis-invited him. Yeah, fair and balanced.
Anyway, O'Connor shares the latest example of unethical behavior on Bill's part:
Grove says, "Lowdown's scoop: A check of stories on the Liberty fund indicates that amNewYork had it first."
In any case, it's clear that somebody other than Bill was "the first to bring it to the public's attention," and if Bill didn't credit his source, it sure sounds like plagiarism to me. Bad enough if you're filching from the networks, but worse when you're stealing from a new, small outfit like amNewYork. I don't think this is how a stand-up guy acts, Bill.
The Going Rate For Looking Out For You
Remember back in September, when Bill O'Reilly said:
Well, I wonder if Bill is still holding to this vow. He did, after all, let them interview him for the recent piece entitled The O'Reilly Factory. The article claims that between his Fox TV show, his radio program, the books, the newspaper columns, the speaking fees, and his "Bill O'Reilly Will Be Your Friend for $19.95 a month" website, Bill generates an estimated $60 million a year.
Because he needs the money, Bill is currently plugging his novel Those Who Trespass as industriously as humanly possible. He has appeared on "The View," "The Tonight Show," has been doing books signings, and seems to mention the book daily on his TV show. A couple of days ago, he read an email from a "Factor" viewer who asked if Bill will appear in the film version; Bill said that the production company (Mel Gibson and friends) wants Bill to play a character who is killed off by page 6. As we fans of schlock know, that character would be Ron Costello, the self-important, horny, obnoxious news personality who, the book tells us in a bit that seems autobiographical, "did what he usually did when gratification eluded him--he got unpleasant." And then Ron opens his hotel door to the wrong person and gets killed by an iced tea spoon to the brain. We think this is perfect casting, and it might even make us see the movie.
But back to that BusinessWeek article, which quotes Bill's publisher, and then comments on sales of Who's Making a Buck From You:
Bill, of course, says it sold 800,000 copies, which is way better than how Hillary Clinton's book did, if you subtract all the copies of hers that were sold to the DNC, Amazon.com buyers, smart people, men, and women.
But won't there come a time when, similarly to what we saw happening at Lucianne.com a couple of weeks ago, "the folks" get sick of Bill?
And that kind of thing never gets old. And anyway, "the folks" need Bill to look out for them, because otherwise they'd just waste their money on French products, rap music, and Hillary Clinton books.
Bill insists that he's "not a materialistic person," so why does he keep doing the radio show, the columns, and selling the Bill O'Reilly doormats? Businessweek doesn't say, but ego seems to be the answer. Bill, who has his staff look for public mentions of him, and who frequently responds on his TV show to any perceived slights, really seems to need to have people buying his books, listening to his radio show, filling seats at his public appearance, etc., because he requires constant reassurances that he is important, well-liked, and respected. I imagine this all stems back to some childhood father issues. I think a stint in Rush Limbaugh's rehab ranch might help him to make peace with his demons, and get him to realize that his father is dead, Al Franken was right about Bill being from Westbury Township, and that "the folks" need to stand on their own two feet and stop relying on Bill to do their Hillary Clinton bashing for them.
Anyway, now that Bill has conquered TV, radio, newspaper columns, nonfiction books, self-help books, and lurid serial killer novels, what comes next?
And to think we used to joke about Ann Coulter writing a kid's book! How can satire ever hope to complete with reality, with people like Bill around?