A Couple of Fun Things
Mark from Fried Green al-Qaedas throughly dissects Armstrong Williams' "Dance, Mary, Dance" TownHall column. In case you were wondering what Armstrong meant about gay sex being "insipid," and other issues raised by the column.
And TBOGG announces the winners of his "Happy, Shiny Bush Slogan" contest. Sadly, Meghan Gurdon's slogan, as submitted by her daughter Listerine, didn't win, but you may recognize some familiar names among the winners (like a certain Dr. BDH). Congrats to all.
World O'Crap Bookclub Selection: Oscar Edition
The Return of the King won everything. Everybody in New Zealand got thanked. Nobody's dress fell off. Billy's jokes weren't that funny. Only a couple of small digs at the Bush Administration. So, a pretty boring Academy Awards Ceremony. You should have skipped the whole thing and read a book instead. Just not THIS book:
Hollywood, Interrupted: Insanity Chic in Babylon -- The Case Against Celebrityby Andrew Breitbart (Author), Mark Ebner (Author)
I bet you didn't know that Ann Heche used to be a lesbian and had a mental breakdown a couple of years ago -- and that her first name has an "e" on the end of it! And Courtney Love? Well, it turns out that she's addicted to drugs!!! Oh, and Oliver Stone is weird, and Tom Cruise is a Scientologist. And John T. Walton (I guess that's who they are referring to) inherited a fortune now worth over $20 billion, and is an advocate of school vouchers!
A world where Roman Polanski is a convicted rapist? Well, I never! And one where nannies get stressed (and blab to gossip peddlers )? Whoda thunk it! And Mathew Perry (but with two "t"s), Robert Downey, Jr., Ben Affleck, and Rush Limbaugh went to rehab??? Apparently so -- except that I don't believe Rush's story is included in this book. And I have no idea what "atarm's" means.
Anyway, why would we want to enter this world? As Publisher's Weekly said:
So, it sounds like the usual tawdry tabloid fare, but with an extra dose of venom and cruelty. It should be ignored by all decent, family oriented, clean-minded, Christian people, right?
Yes. But the wingnut are promoting the hell out of it (the publisher apparently having decided that social conservatives were the natural market for a mean-spirited book of celebrity gossip). Here are some of the cover blurbs, courtesy of Amazon:
Isn't it rather "kettle, black" of Ann to be complaining about other people being misogynistic? (The "pill-popping degenerate" bit sounds like a shoe that might fit her too.) And wouldn't you much rather have your kids spend a couple of hours alone with Bad Santa rather than Bad Ann? And didn't you already know that Bad Santa isn't a kids' movie? And now you're stuck with the mental image of Ann Coulter screaming for Santa to f--- her, which can't be healthy. So thanks for nothing, Ann!
And do you really think that Ann is a big Marx Brothers fan, or does she just adore "entertainment titan" and writer Morrie Ryskind because he appeared before HUAC to denounce the left, and later joined the John Birch society? Anyway, I suggest that you let your kids watch Animal Crackers, made back when Morrie was a commie. That'll show Ann!
Now let's read another celebrity endorsement:
Of COURSE this all rings true to Mickey -- he's never met a rumor about a liberal or a "cultural elite" that he subjected to the slightest critical scrutiny. And why in heaven's name wouldn't we think that Barbara was a good mother? And doesn't she spell her name "Barbra"? (The spell checking on the jacket copy seems a likely harbinger of the level of fact-checking we will find between the covers.)
Yeah, that would be so cool! Jonah could show them his Star Wars action figures, and they could tell him the shocking details of what happened to Yeoman Rand after the Star Trek years!
But Jonah's comments brings up the authors' clever marketing plan: being oppressed. It seems that just like how the Jews were attacking Mel Gibson's movie before they even heard of it, the Hollywood powers are out to get these guys -- and it's your duty as a conservative to buy their book, to show those pesky liberals!
Lucianne.com refers us a London Telegraph article which claims that the authors are being persecuted for their dedication to truth and moral outrage:
Or maybe the media establishment just think the authors are lying creeps. Here's an item from the NY Daily Newsgossip column:
This might make you wonder about the author's credibility (again), but don't, because here's another endorsement:
I don't know who I feel sorrier for: Glenn, a "Distinguished Professor of Law," who is reduced to endorsing cheap Hollywood tell-all books; or the authors, who are reduced to getting recommendations from credulous hacks like Kaus and Reynolds.
And here's the Corner's Rod Dreher:
Rod just loves spiteful gossip, porn belts, and glorified cathouses. But he's all man!
One last prestigious endorsement:
Wow, famous people known for their work -- what a novel concept! So, let's now know them for their sexcapades, addictions, and mental illnesses: that way, people who are known only for furthering other people's scandals can feel better about themselves.
The "little people" seem to be responding to the marketing plan (unless they're all shills, planted their by the book's publicist), writing stuff like this at Lucianne.com:
And this, from Amazon:
How about if you just don't care enough about celebrities to read gossip about them, and don't like this book on general principles: what does THAT say about you?
So, Hollywood Interrupted. If you're interested in this kind of thing, buy People or The National Enquirer instead -- that way, your scandal will be current and served up without a lot of moralizing, and you won't have to feel like you're taking recommendations from Lucianne Goldberg and Ann Coulter.