Dating for Petro-Dollars

As we continue the search for the new Swank (as seen on the Fox Reality Show “So You Think You Can Rant”), we are interviewing a number of unlikely contenders.  Included on that list is Dick Morris, who, although not as linguistically gifted as the good Pastor, is just as delusional.  He also has a shot at being just as prolific, since he has a collaborator (some woman) who apparently does all the heavy lifting, thus freeing Dick for appearances on the O’Reilly Factor and for general frothing at the mouth.

So, I looked forward to reading Dick&Aide’s latest, The Impending Collapse of Our Enemies, which I thought was going to be about how Bill Clinton soon won’t be President any more.  Instead, I was disappointed to find that it doesn’t deal with the Clintons at all, but instead is about how lower oil prices are affecting the Axis of Meanies ‘n Countries We Hate.  Here’s a key passage:

Putin’s Russia, which so recently threw its weight around by invading Georgia, faces perhaps the biggest hit of all to its economy. Producing 10 million barrels per day, Russia will be hit the hardest by the collapse of prices. (Again, do the math: Assume Russia budgeted at $60 oil prices and the price drops to $40. $20/barrel x 10 million barrels per day x 365 = a $73 billion annual shortfall). With a GDP of only about $1.4 trillion, Russia faces the loss of about 5% of its economy. And Russian oil production has dropped by one million barrels per day for each of the past two years. With prices at rock bottom and nationalization an ever-present threat, who is going to invest in increasing Russian production?

Good question.  But I find it noteworthy that on the VERY SAME PAGE as Dick’s article, Townhall features an ad with a bikini-clad blonde in front of the Kremlin advising you to ”Find Your Russian Beauty Today.”

A quick visit to the sponsor’s site (RussianEuro.com) lets us know that this is indeed Dick Morris’s kind of place.

Dreaming of the perfect Russian lady? Are you ready to meet your Russian partner? RussianEuro is a specialty dating and personals site that focuses on bringing together Russian women and those seeking Eastern European women for dating, marriage and chat. You can meet the perfect Russian woman or Eastern European partner from within our extensive database featuring 1000’s of single marriage minded Eastern European women looking for love. Beautiful young Russian ladies are waiting to meet you today.

And to suck your toes.  Anyway, I guess Townhall agrees with Conan the Barbarian that what is best in life is to crush your enemies through a world-wide recession, to see them driven before you in hybrid cars, and to hear the lamentation of the women who are forced to become mail-order brides to the guys who read Townhall.

P.S,  When I just went back to Dick’s column, the ad wasn’t there anymore.  I guess Dick has snagged all of the Russian beauties for himself.

Posted by s.z. on December 16th, 2008