The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

We All Have Our Burning Cross To Bear

JammieWearingFool has his Dr. Dentons in a twist again.  This time he’s offended that Michelle Obama seems displeased by the transformation of her prepubescent daughters into collectible effigies.
Oh, the indignity of it all, After a year of allowing the kids on Access Hollywood, magazine photo shoots, parading her girls front and center wherever she goes, now Michelle Obama is upset with a doll manufacturer for cashing in on the kids…You can bet she wouldn’t be whining if she was getting a cut of the action.
Yes, some naive devotees of “hope” and “change” may believe the First Lady is sincerely upset by this exploitation of her preteen children, but it’s clear to Mr. Fool that her outrage is entirely manufactured, just part of an elaborate shakedown scheme designed to extort money from John Travolta.  And he’s not alone in thinking the little golddigger had it coming.  But while Jammie sees Mrs. Obama’s disapproval as prima facie evidence of a criminal enterprise, Paleo Pat of Political Byline sees it as an opportunity to tell a black woman to shut up.
First Lady Michelle Obama, “Don’t be using my kids as a marketing tool!”
(Just a tiny caveat:  That may not be an exact quote.)
But yet the first bitch will put her daughters on Access Hollywood, magazine photo shoots, and parade her girls front and center wherever she goes. But she bitches aboutthis?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that Mr. Pat is not troubled by a surfeit of feminine companionship.  But let’s check hisbio just to be sure…
Sigh.  Why are all the good men married, gay, or compulsive masturbators?  Better luck next time, ladies!  On the bright side, I feared that his post title was a trifle racist, but I see from his “is got a mental disorder” construction that he was simply writing in the charming patois typical of his native region of the basement.
As they say in the ghetto here in Detroit….. NIGGA PLEASE!
“Up yours, wigger!”
If the first harpy does not want her “Babies” out in the public, keep them out the public eye. Otherwise, shut the hell up, and be glad your stupid idiot husband got elected, despite that 45 percent; or more if the truth me known, considering the election was rigged as hell, and he basically bought the damned election from all those off-shore donations from terrorists.
….and for it’s worth, Bambi is NOT my President. He’s just stupid uppity idiot that won, because he was black; and that’sALL that Magic Negro will be to me!
I don’t claim to know exactly what Barack Obama’s inauguration as President means to the United States; but I do know this:  somewhere in suburban Detroit, there’s a fuzzy-faced misogynist who spent January 20th shrieking with rage and repeatedly punching the logo on a box of Uncle Ben’s Rice.  Nevertheless, Mr. Pat’s political convictions are surprisingly nuanced, for unlike some conservatives he lays the blame for our current economic difficulties squarely at the feet of George W. Bush:
Seriously, I have not had a “day job” since 2005. I last worked as a merchandiser vendor for a major home improvement chain. I handled Lighting, I had to quit. The job was making me physically sick. Due to the medication that I take. (Prolonged Exposed to bright Lights and Sunlight makes me want to HURL!)  The company shortly after that went out of business. So, I don’t think I made out that badly. I have not had a good paying steady job since 2000. Yes folks, I haven’t worked steady since Bush took office, 8 years ago. Lovely eh?  You see now, why I am not fond of him?
Admittedly, this brief excerpt doesn’t do justice to the sophistication of Mr. Pat’s views, since it fails to include his many animated emoticons.  Later in the interview, he asks himself if he’s crazy.
No, I am in full use of my mental faculties.
Is only we could all say the same.

Posted by scott on Saturday, January 24th, 2009 at 9:14 pm

33 Responses to “We All Have Our Burning Cross To Bear”

“Prolonged Exposed to bright Lights and Sunlight makes me want to HURL!”
I hear that’s a common affliction among trolls.
What a vile human being! Where in the world do these troglodytes come from?! Oh. Wait. I know. They lanced Limbaugh’s boil on his ass, and THIS guy is what squirted out.
Y’know, I just got off of the phone with my neighbor Mr. Bonds, who STILL hasn’t come down off of his inauguration high (he was on an FBI watch list for working for the Free Angela Davis legal committee, did European speaking engagements for the Communist Party, STILL can’t get the fucking Medicare to which he is more than entitled, you do the math…) and he had told me about the dolls and THAT THEY HAD PUT BOOBS ON THOSE PRE-PUBESCENT CHILDREN, and lemme tellya, he wants get out of his wheelchair and go kick some pedophilic ASS about this shit.
He’s also utterly besotted with Michelle, and not just for her LOOKS, as the media whores seem to think is her sum-total “value” as a First Lady/human being, and as myself, is very much looking forward to watching her kick the living shit out of these parasitic motherfuckers. I’ve got to get him up here to read this on the comp, ’cause he will go APESHIT over this little fruitcake misogynist calling Michelle Obama “FIRST BITCH.” And yes, he’d be up for the road trip, too, despite his two major strokes. He can STILL swing a baseball bat, dammit.
As to this little basement-molded troll, cum-gargling closet-case woman-hater “blogger,” he reminds me very much of a former penpal of mine from the SUBURBS of Detroit, as he surely is, the pansy. Nothing but mouth-breathing white trash (as she gradually revealed herself to be, this one isn’t so subtle) who HATE HATE HATE everybody who’s not illiterate/caucasian/idiotic as they are. They claim to live “in Detroit,” but don’t have the gonads to leave their trailer parks or subdivisions to go anywhere NEAR the city limits. They are TERRIFIED of teh “big skeery black folk,” but have probably never MET ANY since they flunked-out of the then-desegregated public schools. And yes, as soon as I read her little treatise on “Hell Night,” and she revealed her idiocy in full, I never corresponded with that girl again in my life. The skeery thing is that she has the same last name as I do, I can only HOPE that there’s no DNA linkage.
With this misogynistic little maggot, methinks that his hatred isn’t purely racial, it’s also ’cause he knows that he’ll never get anywhere NEAR a woman as intelligent, powerful, talented, educated, awe-inspiring or just flat-out BAD-ASSED as Michelle Obama, so like the pretty little girls in first grade, he pushes her into a mud puddle, to say that she’s not “good enough” for HIM. As humanitarian as Michelle is, she probably wouldn’t even NOTICE this little cum-bubble if he ran up to her with three dozen roses, before the Secret Service shoved the stems up his ass.He hates what he cannot have, he makes a fetish of that which is “different,” his hatred is supposed to hide his inadequacies and make him “manly,” and all he is, is a pustulent, flatulent, gelatinous wad of wasted oxygen.
Keep an eye on this one, Scott, he might someday aspire to get off of his fat ass, out of his mama’s basement (THERE’S a uterine metaphor if I’ve ever seen one!), and try to become the next “Hinckley,” so at least you’ll have the scoop! And of course, notify the appropriate authorities to have him picked-up with a giant butterfly net. He sure as HELL ought to be on a watch list in case he tries to buy a firearm, the sick fuck.
What REALLY pisses me off about these dolls is that nobody EVER made dolls of or even roughly approximated the IDIOTIC DRUNKEN RICH-BITCH SLUTS known as Jenna & Barbara, and think of how easily and how CHEAPLY their likenesses could’ve been reproduced… Paint some calluses on the knees, some bruises around the backs of the necks, and pop on the heads to some abused/rejected Barbie bodies, add-on the puke & cum stains onto the overpriced clothing, and there you have it! At least THOSE whores were OF LEGAL AGE, and definitely ABOVE PUBERTY, so THEY would’ve been “fair game.” Sticking tits onto CHILDREN isn’t just debasing and belittling to the girls, it’s fucking SICK and perfectly emblematic of the pedophilic leanings of Murkin “culture.” Just like that countdown website for the day that the Olsen Twins became “legal” prey.
Motherfuckers like that should be IMMEDIATELY released into the general population of a REAL prison, as soon as they’re convicted (and they will be); then send Bernie Madoff in WITH them.
I can’t make any jokes about this illiterate cracker bigot not having a job, he really makes them all himself anyway, but I would think, from reading his “post” there, that it would be self-evident that he does not “play well with others” or do well in a WORK environment.
Archie Bunker seems to be the new face of the Republican Party.
Maybe Norman Lear can raise some money for People for the American Way by selling Archie Bunker merchandise.
I always thought the truly crazy people were the ones that never doubted their sanity.
Funny how only Democratic kids in the White House are fair game. (I seem to remember some asinine comment about a White House dog a few years back. Has Rush-bo said anything about the kids yet? If (WHEN) Michelle kicks his ass, I want the video!)
So since he found it too difficult to work as a sales associate at a hardware store, our young friend has been living on the taxpayer’s dime.
All the same, someone who chose to define himself in his profile with
Anyone that is stupid enough to get married in this day and age of Liberalism is got a mental disorder
thinks it’s playful to have Princeton/Harvard/white shoe lawfirm alumna Michelle Obama say “Don’t be using my kids…”
So, yeah, gummint money pays for my internet connection, but dude, that lady’s _black_
You know, I really don’t think that the world’s racist losers realize how profoundly insulting it is to white people to suggest that somehow we’re validated by having something in common with them.
Let’s see…mid-30s, unemployed long-term despite possessing a CDL, no recent relationships (possibly a virgin?), very poor grammar (“What is your feelings regarding globalism?”), claims to be negatively affected by sunlight, serious overuse of emoticons, scraggly facial hair…yep, we’ve got us a loser. I’d be tempted to follow this idiot but I think he’d get boring quick. Still, I’d love to see his reaction when he sees the PRC flag come up on his traffic feed.
Okay Anntichrist S Coulter, adjust your meds. Some of the points of your rant are valid all well put(sexualizing children is creepy, and JMFool is certainly a loser), but as an out-of-the- closet cum-gargling pansy, I take issue with you using THOSE sterling qualities as denigrating epithets. That out of the way, it seems to me that ALL politicians pimp their kids for votes: Look at me, I’m a normal breeder! Family values! Protect marriage! I say Fuck you and your crotch-droppings. Keep the brats off the stage if you don’t want them and their precious performances criticized. Harumpf!
The scary thing, M. Bouffant, is that Archie Bunker is an intellectual compared to thse human skidmarks.
Y’know, I hear the chicks really dig a guy in uniform.
Here’s the thing: I’ve made my peace, in a manner of speaking, with the anti-fluoridationists and the unrepentant racists and the penis substitutionists and the simpering jackboot lickers in the years since I first saw an Impeach Earl Warren billboard; such people are actually out there, despite everything common sense would tell us. But I’m goddamned if I can figure out the “damned feminists keep me from getting laid” routine, especially when coupled with “and the threat of child support” since a) the Right keeps insisting we’re a “center-right” country, which would at least raise the question of mathematical probability, not to mention the fact that I can walk through any mall in town and see dozens of women obviously unspoiled by political philosophy, not to mention that on certain sides of town I’d be hard-pressed to see anything but; and b) I thought these guys were the Personal Responsibility crowd. I guess that only goes for the responsibility to make sure the gummint keeps queers from marryin’.
I mean, all else aside, who exactly do you think you’re kiddin’,dude?
Pat isn’t on very friendly terms with complete sentences, is he?
I suspect they have taken out a restraining order against him.
I’m guessing they’re not alone in that.
Can I put in a bet on Pat showing up here to announce “This blog is aptly named, World O’ CRAP, har har.” Actually, in his case it’d probably go like “Yeah so blog is too clear named CRAP WORLD, har har.” Either way, it seems about his level of repartee.
No, I am in full use of my mental faculties.
It appears that bar is pretty low, innit?
Aren’t these the same people who, along with Sarah Palin, demand that her children be left alone, even as she trots them out daily for media consumption?
Let’s be real honest here: without adorable children constantly in view, Obama’s chances of getting elected would’ve been absolute zero, as in -459 degrees fahrenheit. Zip, nada. I would go so far as to say that no candidate has ever needed his children as props more than Obama did.
Well, their job is done, and I hope they spend the next 8 years in obscurity. For their own sake.
“Me:” Troll or moron?
“Butch Pansy”? I wouldn’t be throwing rocks at MY glass house before you take a long, thorough look at yer own little Casa de Silica, junior.
When you start thinking that the people in teh teevee and on teh innernets are talking TO you or ABOUT you, when they are very clearly NOT, then it’s time to take those conversations with the little friends in your head out for somebody qualified to deal with them to hear. I.E.: NOT US. We don’t wanna know. We just wanna know that you’ve finally realized that your flamboyant narcissism is just a very flimsy/filmy scrim to “cover” your potentially schizophrenic obsession, to assume that all references to closet-case woman-haters have anything to do with YOU.
If you are truly out and proud, my love, then more power to you, you have all my admiration. But if you’re seeing YOURSELF in MY descriptions of a hate-mongering little pustulent pus-filled boil on the ass of humanity, then baby, you gots ISSUES, and they have nothing to do with ME.
And while teh REPUBLICUNTS use their cunt-spooge (see also: Genetically-challenged Caribou Barbie, having a Down’s Syndrome baby and flouting it at every possible opportunity for points with teh bibul-banging sheepul, when she’s CLEARLY too old to safely conceive children who won’t be genetically scarred by her rickety ol’ cooter and the contents therein) to garner the “family-friendly”/PRO-BREEDING/PRO-OVERBREEDING votes, I don’t think that Barack or Michelle Obama have EVERused their charming young children to ANY political ends. They are justifiably PROUD of their girls, as any breeder with an IQ above-room-temperature SHOULD BE, when they’re as intelligent and promising as Malia & Sasha are, but that does NOT, in any fucking way, justify OBJECTIFYING and PREMATURELY SEXUALIZING those CHILDREN for the profit of Ty or any other Chinese-sweatshop empire.
Look at those fucking dolls. The one on the left, with the side-ponytail, has BOOBS. That’s so fucking wrong, on every fucking level, it disgusts me beyond measure. Those babies aren’t even REMOTELY pubescent, and from their parents’ builds, they will be rapidly-growing young Amazons, achieving height beyond their classmates at a relatively young age, but they probably won’t have curves until well into their adolescence, so Ty Manufacturing JUMPING THE GUN on the development of breast tissue in THE YOUNG CHILDREN OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is fucking PIMPING those children out, no two ways about it.
I hate breeders as much or more than you do, punkin’, but since the kids are already here, we who give a damn about them having somewhat “normal” lives SHOULD stand up and rebuke the parasitic freaks and perverts who want to DESTROY that for them. Just like Fatfuck Limbaugh calling Chelsea Clinton “the family dog,” this shit is BEYOND THE PALE. Oh, sure, Ty will play it off as being “wholesome” and “to boost the self-esteem of children of color” and all of the other marketing dreck, but it’s no fucking different.
Show me ONE fucking doll, one fucking poster, one fucking blogger who made a profit off of lampooning the COKE-WHORE JUVENILE ALCOHOLIC SLUTS who just moved out of the White House, and maybe THEN we can call it “fair game.” (Not ONCE did I ever see, in eight years of sorority-slut alcohol-poisoning incidents, ANYBODY profiteer off of THEIR “likenesses,” even though it would’ve been REALLY FUCKING EASY to put out Barbara Teh Bimbo & Jenna Teh Jiz-Gargler dolls in a HEARTBEAT.) Until you can show said evidence, shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down, and stop thinking that everyfuckingthing in the universe is ABOUT YOU, punkin’, ’cause it sure as hell AIN’T.
I was talking about a HATE-MONGERING, WANNABE WOMAN-ABUSING (if a woman ever came anywhere NEAR his pustulent ass)CLOSET-CASE WHO HATES WOMEN, AFRICAN-AMERICANS, PROBABLY EVERY “MINORITY” IN THIS COUNTRY, *ESPECIALLY* THE OUT GAYS,***BECAUSE*** HE HATES ***HIMSELF*** MOST OF ALL.So if you saw something of YOURSELF in all of that, your issue ain’t with me, honey, it’s in the mirror.
And “Me”? I’ve seen you say a lot of crazy shit in your day(coming from the Queen of Batshit Blog Comments, naturally), and as I’ve already stated for the billionth time, I am no fuckin fan of teh breeeeeederssss, for any fucking reason. But the last thing that Obama needed to get votes was to USE his children. I never drank the kool-aid, I didn’t buy into the hype, and I sure as hell would’ve called foul on ‘em if I’d seen them doing that, but THEY DIDN’T. Barack Obama’s greatest asset is that he is an intelligent, savvy, strong man who is secure enough in himself to marry a woman who is as intelligent/skilled/gifted/tall/good-looking/smart-assed as he is, if not moreso. Look at Michelle Obama: She ain’t gonna be The Thorazine Queen like Laura, the Butchest Tranny EVER like Bar Bush, the pseudo-feminist-who-blew-it-all-to-hell like Hillary (the woman said NOTHING, through the ENTIRE FUCKING WASTE-OF-BILLIONS “investigation” of the blue dress & cigars, and let us ALL the fuck down), and she is SURE AS HELL way the fuck more than a “fashion plate” like the vapid little Jackie Kennedy Onassis. This is a woman of accomplishment, a woman of strength and intelligence, and she’s the best back-up that he could have.
As two talented, skilled lawyers, a professional couple who’ve busted their asses to help people who never got the breaks that they did, they’re all they need to get where they are. If ANYBODY in this country voted for them just because of “the cute kids,” then that’s some severely shallow/idiotic/fucktarded/creepy motherfuckers. I know that people have used a lot lamer excuses for having voted for Dumbya (“I’d like to have a beer wif dat guy!” morons, etc.), but after everything that we’ve learned in the past, oh, fifty years or so, I don’t think that anybody voted for Obama for any trivial reasons. It was a considered, deliberate vote, for serious, substantial reasons. At least it sure as hell was for ME. Maybe you had different reasons… ?
fuckin’ tags.
ALWAYS blow my momentum all to hell, the cockbites.
Careful, Honey, you’ll bust a gasket.
The only parts of myself I saw in your wide-ranging rant were the cum-gargling alcoholic parts. Of course, the twins beat me in spades, and I’ve been sober for years…I still suck and swallow with great pleasure, though.
The closeted Fool is self-loathing, I’ve no doubt. As for my own narcissism and egocentricity: perhaps, on a bad day, but the t.v. and innernets quit talking directly to me years ago, as well, about the time I quit drinking and drugging.
I voted for the smart one, with the smart wife. The children? They do seem well-behaved, and it’s appalling that they’re being sexualized by Ty for profit; the dolls are evil. Those girls will need strong, smart parents to navigate the minefield of public life, but I stand by the pimping comment. No, they haven’t been strapped to the bed for passers-by to use as cum-dumps, and they’re not like those deeply disturbing baby beauty queens (J-B Ramsey, et alii), but they have been put on display and offered as tokens of wholesomeness. It’s a subtler kind of icky, but it’s definitely advertising.
Hey, I love ridiculing a wingnut as much as anyone, but did it occur to you that this guy is just too good to be true? I mean, with the masturbation, the crude imitation of ghettospeak, etc…
I could be wrong, but I think you may have been had on this one.
Doubt it, Green Eagle. I’m pretty sure I dated him back when I didn’t know any better.
I missed an opportunity to market the Jenna Bush blow up doll with life-like jaw action.
Hm, Jammie, where does one draw the line?
Jammie Wearing Fool is the worst kind of wingnut. Like Coulter, he extrudes his thoughts thru a shit-stained filter, thus creating an enormous crisis where one is best left to ignorance.
In other words, he should be Britney Spears publicist, but even she said “Ewwwwwwwwwwww!”
No comments on his “martial status”?
I last worked as a merchandiser vendor for a major home improvement chain. I handled Lighting, I had to quit. The job was making me physically sick. Due to the medication that I take. (Prolonged Exposed to bright Lights and Sunlight makes me want to HURL!) The company shortly after that went out of business. So, I don’t think I made out that badly.
I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with the politically incorrect term “shop clerk” or if you really feel the need to pump your self-esteem, “salesman”?
“Merchandiser vendor”?
If that’s the case, when I worked for a pharmacy as a delivery boy back in high school, I suppose I was either a drug trafficker or a medicinal delivery system.
Wanna see something really funny, though? In his missive about Bill Kristol, this guys actually and with no sense of irony writes
I did not read Kristol much, I did not care for his writing style.
C’mon, that is fucking GOLD!
I was referring to Paleo Pat, sad pathetic and alone male version of Debbie Schlussel.
Malignant Bouffant, wtf are you talking about? Please take the trouble of viewing my posting history. And while you’re at it, please point out what part of my post you disagree with. Lazy asshole.
Someone over at Eschaton is using this guy’s picture for their avatar.
“I missed an opportunity to market the Jenna Bush blow up doll with life-like jaw action.”
Honey, it is NEVER too late. Sure, you’ll have to compete with the Jenna Jameson doll, which is the all-time best-seller, EVER, but if you market it towards the high-end porn consumer/sex-doll user like those who think that RealDolls are REAL WOMEN, you could make a bloody fucking FORTUNE. Imagine all of the frat boys in the job market now, who’ve been wanking-off to pictures of Dumbya grabbing her boob @ that dance (her dress was allegedly “slipping” and he “adjusted” it) all these years, think of how HAPPY you’ll make the little fluffernutters. They have expendable income out the ass, when none of us do, so you might as well re-distribute the wealth!
“If that’s the case, when I worked for a pharmacy as a delivery boy back in high school, I suppose I was either a drug trafficker or a medicinal delivery system.”
I think that we alllllllll know the answer to that one, kiddo…
I just want to bring this up as another exercise in sleaze profiteering, er, tribute:
“Showbiz Promotions, based in Jacksonville, had planned to sell its Caylee Sunshine doll for $29.99. But on its Web site Tuesday the company’s president announced the suspension of the launch plan. Jaime Salcedo says the company reversed course after reviewing public response to the doll.
Salcedo says the doll was intended as “a tribute.”
Other items bearing the doll’s name remain available.
Pardon me while I go take a squeegee to my fucking BRAIN STEM. I wanna UN-LEARN THAT. Really.
When they found that baby’s corpse, did these parasitic pustules on the ass of humanity JERK-OFF TO THE AUTOPSY PICTURES?!?!?!?!?!?
:::::::::::::::::fully-body dry-heave inversion-of-the-entire-alimentary canal::::::::::::::::::::::::::

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