The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The Stupidest Person in the WORLD!

Well, it turns out that it’s actually Bill O’Reilly’s fault that Amanda and Melissa no longer have jobs with the Edwards campaign.  Yes, I bet Bill thinks this song is about him (even though it’s hardly flattering).  But then, he thinks that he single-handedly saved Christmas too, so these delusions are nothing new. So, here’s BillO:
Imagine, if you will, a presidential candidate hiring David Duke to work the Internet for him or her.
Then, imagine if you will, a jackass saying that a boy who was kidnapped when he was 11, and repeatedly sexually molested and threatened, was enjoying his captivity.  Now, imagine that jerk being the keynote speaker for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s annual fundraising dinner.  Yeah, only in the Twilight Zone. BTW, Bill will no longer be the speaker (“Big name radio host loses keynote speaker role“) — but not, insists Fox News, because of the avalanche of emails the Center received from people who heard about Bill’s remarks via “Countdown,” but due to a “simple scheduling conflict.”Anyway, back to Bill, as he compares Amanda and Melissa to David Duke, the founder of the Louisiana-based Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, and general fun guy.
Mr. Duke, an avowed anti-black, anti-Jewish provocateur, spews out hate pretty much everywhere he goes. Recently, he showed up in Iran to deny the Holocaust.
But, hey, David’s not all bad — after all, he did write a self-help book for women:
Using the pseudonym Dorothy Vanderbilt, Duke published a self-help book for women, titled Finders-Keepers, in 1976. The publication gives advice to women regarding vaginal exercises, fellatio, analingus, and anal sex.  The manual is no longer in print and hard to find; however, the New Orleans Times Picayune managed to find a copy and trace the trail of its proceeds to the original author via the publisher.
Now, doesn’t Finders-Keepers sound like something that Bill would give out to his female employees — you know, as part of their health plan or something?
Any American politician who associated with the likes of Duke would be finished immediately; there’s no question about that.Yet former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards apparently felt comfortable hiring two anti-Christian bloggers named Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwan to work on his campaign. Both women have a far-left, bomb-throwing history that was vividly illustrated on their respective Internet sites.
I’m pretty sure that if somebody accused Bill of having a “bomb-throwing history,” even if they just meant it as a rhetorical device, he would sue them (well, goad Fox News into suing them, and then, after that went badly, brag to women he was sexually harassing about about how someday Roger Ailes would show up at his defamers doors, and then BAM!, life as they knew it would be over). 
But let’s give Edwards the benefit of the doubt because he’s a busy guy. Let’s say he wasn’t aware of the vitriol the ladies were spitting out, and this led to the hiring mistake.Fair so far?
Sure thing, Bill!  You compared these bloggers to David Dukes, and then used language that implied they were linked to the SDS.  Fair indeed.
Now comes the crusher. The Catholic League informed Edwards that Ms. Marcotte wrote a description of Mary, the mother of Jesus, having sex with the “Lord” on her website. It was a vile piece of business that can’t even be printed in this newspaper.
So, instead we’ll print this description of what a married man said on the phone to his unwilling female employee while he was masturbating:
You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and I’d join you and you would have your back toward me and I would take that little loofah thing … and I would put it around front, kinda rub your tummy a little bit with it, and then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs, get your nipples really hard… ‘cuz I like that and you have really spectacular boobs…So anyway I’d be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda kissing your neck from behind … and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I’d put it on your …
Okay, that’s disgusting!  We can’t print this kind of thing in a family blog! So, let’s move on.
And what did John Edwards do? He said he “disagreed” with Marcotte’s words, but would not fire her or Ms. McEwan, who wrote on her blog that Christian believers were “mother-f—ers.”
Yeah, I’m sure that Melissa wrote that Christian believers are all ”mother-f—ers” simply by dint of their belief in Jesus Christ.
I couldn’t believe it. 
So, Bill put it on his show — and thereby did what William Donohue and his whole Catholic League couldn’t, got the women fired, and protected Mary and Baby Jesus from these “two little brats” (to quote Bill “Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who would sodomize their own mothers with a smile on their faces” Donohue).
So I went on TV and told the country exactly what I have just told you. Within minutes of the broadcast, the Edwards campaign got rid of Marcotte. McEwan left the next day.
Once again, Bill has single-handedly saved the world.  Tomorrow, maybe he’ll take on a REALLY pernicious evil, like the Hamburgler.But first, he has to show that he’s not just a conqueror over little brats and presidential candidates, but also a victim.
In the far-left, Christian-bashing is totally acceptable and rarely are any consequences imposed. The only reason these two women are not working for John Edwards right now is that he didn’t want to take the heat my program was giving him.This entire shoddy episode has badly damaged Edwards, in my opinion, but it also points out that American culture, especially in the swampy blogosphere, is extremely tolerant of Christian-haters. Again, this could never have happened to any other religious or minority group.
Because Christianity is the most helpless and hapless of all the minority groups.
To me, all bigotry is unacceptable in a just society.
Hey, it’s getting late, so just read “O’Reilly’s Racist Slurs–in Context“ and write your own punch line.
You can criticize any group on the issues, but using obscenity and sacrilege to demean perceived opponents should be condemned in no uncertain terms.Even by John Edwards.
And using misrepresentation, skewed info, and out-and-out lies to demean perceived opponents should be condemned in no uncertain terms.Even by Bill O’Reilly. But maybe that only happens in the Twilight Zone also.

Reality check, Bill-O. The entire fucking Republican Party was associated with David fucking Duke. To be fair, so was the entire Democratic Party. And, really, the entire species. I think at this point, we’re all required to go on welfare and none of us are allowed to ever have a job ever again. I admit that might cheer Bill-O up, as he could then spend all day showering with chickpeas, but it does mean he wouldn’t be able to sexually harrass his producers.
God, I’m so sick of moral sinkholes and vicious fuckwits like Bill O’Reilly shoving tsk-tsking lectures on, of all the fucking things, *civility in discourse* at the rest of us. Let he who has not endorsed genocide throw the first stone.
The Catholic League informed Edwards that Ms. Marcotte wrote a description of Mary, the mother of Jesus, having sex with the “Lord” on her website.
It sounds like he’s imply the Lord didn’t impregnate Mary. Easy on the scare quotes, buddy.
(Not to mention, Marcotte didn’t really describe the Holy Sex per se, that only happened in Bill’s head)
First of all, why on EARTH do people keep giving David Duke credit for things that he hasn’t even DONE?!??! He never STARTED anything, the KKK was formed RIGHT AFTER THE CIVIL WAR, as in, 1866ish, and despite his addiction to aryanesque plastic surgery, HE WASN’T BORN YET. He’s a fucking LOOOOO-HOO-SERRR!!!!!!
Motherfucker can’t hold a job, ran his own insurance agency bankrupt and THEN got involved in MAIL FRAUD, went to jail, then got out with an anklet on house arrest. How he ever managed to “lead” anything is way the fuck beyond me. Yes, he was an upper deputy in the klan, but he was NEVER the Grand Dragon, as many people suppose. He was a FLUNKIE. That’s all the fuck he’s ever been and all the fuck he’s ever going to BE.
Jeeeebus. I’m so fucking sick of that motherfucking freak, it’s like the state’s going to have that albatross around its neck until the end of time.
Secondly: “he didn’t want to take the heat my program was giving him.”
If THAT doesn’t reveal way more than we want to know about Falafel Boy, I don’t know what would. The man(?) fantasizes about “giving the heat” to John Edwards.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could sic those “good christians” who threatened Amanda & Melissa, who sent them some of the vilest words I’ve seen in print (which is saying something), and who wanted to find out where they LIVE — wouldn’t it be nice if we could sic those same sociopathic psycho-cunts on O’Reilly?
We’re gonna need a plan… Send out some photos of Bill falafeling an altar boy, maybe… Or would that even make a dent with those folk? Maybe we’d have to show him using one of those Baby Jesus Buttplugs on himself… Once they got through wanking all over the picture, they’d SURELY leap into action, yes?
Well, he’s right about one thing: This whole affair has indeed damaged John Edwards, but not in the way he thinks. I’m no longer supporting Edwards. He should have told those wrongwing bastards to piss off, and supported Amanda and Melissa. None of the complainers were going to vote for him anyway. Those of us who were going to vote for him have been left out in the cold.
And what’s this “Christian-bashing is totally acceptable and rarely are any consequences imposed” batshit bullshit? We have freedom of speech in this country. What consequences is he recommending there be? Public flogging? Dunking? A day in the stocks? Perhaps a nice burning at the stake?
This whole episode sucks. That Edwards let them push him around sucks hardest. I really, really liked him.
As I recall, Bill-O spent years telling people he was a registered independent when it turned out he was a republican. The perfect guy to concern troll about Edwards’ staffing decisions: Hey, I would have voted for him if not for the foul-mouthed chicks. Sure, Bill. You’d have voted for Clinton, too, if not for… well, the fact that he was a democrat.
There’s something utterly precious about the wingnuts attempting to establish their impartiality bona fides. “I’m not a Catholic, and I’m an independent voter. I think Edwards might have had some good ideas about not getting us all killed by starting a war with Iran, and maybe some thoughts on how to help the unemployed, or a better handle on the health care mess, but none of that is as important as what some woman I’ve never heard of said about William Donohue’s religion.”
If they honestly meant what they were saying, wouldn’t you have to conclude that they were the most shallow, baseless, sociopathic creatures in existence?
I would cheerfully vote for a candidate him or herself who stood up and recited the whole of “The Aristocrats” while inserting the names of myself, my gods, my grandmother, my partner, and my cats, if they actually look like they could stop the torture, guarantee health care, get us out of Iraq and keep us out of Iran, encourage recycling and higher fuel efficiency, or even just raise the freaking minimum wage to where people can exist on forty hours a week. I would not only happily vote for such a person, I would enthusiastically perform oral sex on them while they called my gods sluts and my cats fat.
I will happily vote for Edwards, too, if it looks like he’s capable of any of that. I like Amanda, and I think Edwards caved when he shouldn’t have, but that is not as important to me as making sure our next president is not decided by the same people who brought us Bush in 2004.
I agree Sidhe, but it has to be someone willing to not be swayed by the screeching chorus. I want someone who hates the wingnut crowd, someone who knows deep down the scorching feeling of persecution at the hands of those devils.
I want someone who has felt their cold, sweaty hands grasping around the neck of their life, attempting to strangle it and everything they hold dear. I want someone who hates them like the Russians hated the Germans when they marched to Berlin.
I want someone whose entire being resonates with the quiet hot rage of the mothers and grandchildren and great grandchildren of sons and daughters who died serving up white priviledge and position for 200 years in this country.
I want someone who knows truth the way a single mother struggling to make rent on 5 bucks an hour knows truth. I want that someone to have the burn of thirst in their mind that mother has when she’s called a ‘slut’ because she has to get help to get by.
Or who feels so closely connected to every American life that when they read the name of another soldier that died, their heart aches in mourning and they know every life is a loss never recovered for us all.
Or who has the ego-driven, apparently eccentric and manic idea that if he/she makes history as a change agent for humanity, that all was worth it, even if that means living in a trailer park after the first term.
In fact, I wouldn’t mind if that someone said they’d live in a trailer park if that helped us move forward.
Once that’s established, I think the rest would follow.
Making love with his ego, Bill-O sucked up into his my-eye-eye-ind…
Oh, if he got the nod and it was vote for him or throw away my vote for a third party candidate, I’d vote for him, but if he can’t stand up to them now, what will it be like six months down the road? The Catholics I know don’t agree with that nut job Donohue. They’re the Andrew M. Greeley type, who think the war is wrong. They might well have voted for Edwards. Malkin and her crowd were never going to vote for Edwards, even if he fired every lefty on his staff. He had nothing to lose by staring them down, and a lot to gain. And he blinked.
I’m not thrilled with any of the current batch of Democratic candidates. But then, as a lefty, I never am. However, I’ll get behind whoever gets the nomination, and I’ll work for them, because the alternative is horrible.
BOR is so unbelievably hypocritical and vile. His delusions of grandeur (or even adequacy) are simply staggering. Remember his boycott of France? That went well for him, didn’t it?
I have to laugh at how desperately he’s trying to cram his made-up term “S.P.” (‘secular-progressive’) into the lexicon. No matter how many times he inserts in into his diatribes, no one else picks up on it. Face it, Bill. You suck.
Candy and kate, I do agree with you both. I’ll vote for freakin’ Hillary, though I’ll be amazed if no unhinged wingnut decides to try to kill her during the campaign, really.
In 2004, I caucused for Kucinich. I was probably the only damned person in the entire damned room who could reliably *spell* Kucinich, let alone agreed with all of his public positions. I was sure as hell the only person in the room who knew how to insert platform planks, which to be honest depressed the hell out of me. So, as a lefty, I’ve never been especially delighted with the democratic candidates, either. The closest I’ve ever come was Gore.
So as far as the letting-wingnuts-harrass-you-into-changing-your-mind thing goes, I am not amused. I’ve spent a few days ranting to anyone who will listen that I genuinely don’t think he had any place listening to people who weren’t going to vote for him over people who *were*. I still don’t know who I’m going to caucus for, to vote for, to donate money to, in the primary. Kucinich doesn’t stand a chance in hell, I know that much, he never has. I’m idealistic but not stupid.
I have not yet concluded that this display of rampant pointlessness on the part of Edwards–if nothing else, it shows his staff doesn’t do any damned research, or doesn’t have the slightest idea how the pearl-clutchers of the right behave, or can’t decide how far to go for what principles–means that Edwards is incapable of at the very least being pushed by the rest of us into doing the things that need to be done. Which, really, is what it comes down to for me. A politician, to my mind, will not do the right thing unless he or she is pushed into it by the people who elected him or her. An *electable* politician, anyway. We seem to suck the idealists right out of the process.
In any event, my comments weren’t directed at people who had looked at Edwards and concluded he didn’t have whatever it takes to stand up to the people who, if he is elected, positively *will* harrass him day and night over every damned thing. That’s a fair conclusion. It’s just not the one I’ve come to yet.
My comments were half a sort of rant as I figured out how *I* feel about it, which I hadn’t quite yet. And half just plain damned disgust at the concern trolls and professional concern trolls who kicked off this asinine halftime show to begin with. If everything they have said is sincere, they are assholes of the highest order. If it has not been, they still are, in a different way.
D. Sidhe, how do you feel about Bill Richardson? I haven’t had time to do much research, but so far what I’ve read and heard indicates he ought to be taken more seriously.
Yes, I am so sick of the concern trolls: “Why aren’t you being civil to us? Don’t you want to win? You lefties will just sink the party, and cause us to looooose! Stop using foul language! Aieeee!” (clutches pearls.)
Bill Richardson is a great guy and a great governor, but because he’s still associated with the Clinton administration (not all of the good work that he did there, just being associated with Bill is “bad enough”), the nancy-boys of the DNC don’t want him to get any of the good press. Of course, with Howard Dean’s ego running shit, I don’t see them getting ANYBODY to the forefront at this point.
D. Sidhe, your most recent comment reminds me of the amusing story of how I came to vote for Dennis Kucinich in the last Democratic Presidential primary in 2004.
Illinois is, you see, a late voting state, especially for its size and the number of electoral votes it wields. Unless the voting in the primaries is very divided, the contest is quite handily decided well before it reaches my poor, poor state. In 2000, Bush had wrapped-up the Republican nomination some time before the vote rolled through here, and I believe Gore got the Dem delegates all lined up, too. In 2004, Kerry had already sewn it all up. The candidate I was interested in had dropped out a couple of weeks before, as had most of the candidates other than Kerry, and, I think, Edwards. Possibly Edwards had been asked to be veep-I forget, but I was unenthused by both of ‘em. But, Kucinich was still in.
Since many of Kucinich’s positions lined up with mine–not all of ‘em, mind you, but I’d be able to live with it if somehow he were to be President. So, as a protest to Kerry’s inevitable nomination at that point, I voted for Kucinich.
I’m not particularly attracted to anyone at this point in the primaries, and may stay that way as long as I can. It’s likely that it’ll all be over by the time it gets here again anyway. Feh. Hopefully it won’t be Biden, but I’d still take him over any of the Republican’ts.
I would guess Annti’s probably right about Richardson, though you’d think the same logic would apply to Hillary. It’s probably a matter of positioning as a “moderate”.
I’m still pretending Kucinich can overcome his looks which, while I find him kind of cute, I do understand will cause the rest of the nation to ignore him again, or that Gore can be persuaded to take one for the team again, or that Bill Moyers will step up.
Oh, don’t even fantasize about Moyers… Don’t even take me down that road, ’cause it’ll never happen.
I wish to hell that Al Gore would stop being so fucking coy about it — you KNOW that he’s riding the attention wave, even if it is for a good cause.
Granted, I’ll never forgive Tipper for the PMRC shit, but I’d still give both of my gravitationally-challenged tits for a ticket with him and Bill Richardson.
Hillary, on the other hand, I wouldn’t vote for if she were running for dogcatcher. She’s the most mercenary, self-centered bitch this side of Margaret Thatcher. I used to hold some hope for Obama, but anybody who listens to Farrakahn is automatically untrustworthy, and he’s turning out to be almost as mercenary as Hillary.
Gore/Richardson — that’s my dream come true. I would’ve said, a month ago, Gore/Edwards, but he blew that one right outta the fucking water. No, Bill Richardson isn’t as “charismatic” or media-whorish as a lot of the candidates out there, but HE KNOWS HOW TO GET SHIT DONE.
Annti, you said it all for me. Thanks!
Two of my three kids will be old enough to vote for the first time in 2008… woah! (The younger of the two, by the way, says he’d rather vote for Jello Biafra for president than for Hillary. “Wouldn’t we all,” I replied.)
Biafra/Richardson!
Biafra/Rollins!
(Henry, that is… he’s not nearly as old as the blues musicians that he snagged the name from, after all…)

No comments:

Post a Comment