As you know, President Bush delivered his final the State of the Union Is Not My Fault Address today. So, let’s find out what two of our favorite Concerned Women For America, Janice “Mad at My Mop” Crouse and Matt “Bam Bam Barber,” have to say about totally unrelated stuff.
First, in “Men’s Hearts Can be Broken, Too,” Janice reveals the cause of Heath Ledger’s death: casual sex!
After discussing what Heath’s friends have reportedly said about his broken heart following his break-up from the woman he was possibly married to, (I guess the Beverly LaHaye Institute is conducting a research project on Hollywood gossip mags), Janice confides, “No one can know what was really going on in Heath’s life, and his tragic death is likely a accidental overdose of sleeping pills.” But even if his death WAS an accident, that doesn’t mean that casual sex shouldn’t have to answer for it.
But in a culture where recreational sex is fast becoming the norm for young adults, tragic deaths like Heath’s (even when the cause is murky) should be a wake-up call. Conventional wisdom tells young people that casual sex is meaningless. Heath’s depression following the break up of his relationship with Michelle Williams is just one example of the fact that not even sexy hunks are exempt from broken hearts.
So, kids, Heath was depressed after his partner and/or wife left him, and then he later DIED, probably accidentally — and this proves that you shouldn’t sleep around because … um … just don’t do it, okay!
Now, here’s Matt ” Bam Bam” Barber, expanding from his “gay sex is icky” repertoire to jump on the “post abortive men” bandwagon,” because not even sexy hunks are exempt from broken hearts.
Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) — As Americans mourn 35 years of legalized abortion, some of the men and women involved in abortion decisions say the pain and regret from the abortion has prompted them to become strongly pro-life. These post-abortive men and women are the face of not only the pro-life movement but of the problems abortion causes.
Yes, they apparently have two faces: a bossy, controlling one and a whiny one.
Matt Barber, the director of policy and cultural issues for Concerned Women of America told LifeNews.com about his personal account of how abortion affects men.“Abortion doesn’t only hurt women and kill children; it can also deeply wound the men it touches,” he says. “I’m sad to say that I know this from personal experience.”“Along with the realization that a woman has chosen to end the life you helped to create, comes a profound sense of loss and guilt,” he explains.Barber talks about the kinds of daydreams he has about the baby who could have been — and recounts experiences similar to women who terribly regret their abortions.“I can’t know for sure, but I sometimes imagine my first child was a girl,” he said. Today she would have been about 22 years-old, finishing college, and, I suspect, ready to take on the world.”
Or, she would be the frustrated mother of four unwanted children, married to an underemployed, abusive drunk. I suspect that she became sexually active at a young age as an act of rebellion against her controlling father — but, because she had never been taught about birth control, got pregnant at age 15, and with abortion not being an option, was forced to marry the guy who knocked her up. And her life really sucks now, poor thing.
“Perhaps I’d be walking her down the aisle soon. I can’t know. I’ll never know. Only God knows. My child was torn from this world before anyone could know,” he concludes.
I can feel Matt’s pain. See, I too know the pain of not getting invited to your imaginary child’s wedding. I hope that Matt can find peace the way I did: by spiritually adopting a bunch of other people’s fetuses and signing them all up for memberships in the National Organization of Women.
Posted by s.z. on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 3:07 am
22 Responses to “Bam Bam and the Broom”
Could someone explain to Janice that a long term relationship with a child is a very different thing from casual sex, and that when people break up from a long term relationship in which they have a child, there is likely to be more depression than when two people who had sex a few times stop having sex? I’d explain it, but I’d end up on a tangent about her revoltingly unhygienic string mop.
And Matt and “LifeNews” seem to be making the point that because someone has had an experience he has undergone a profound change, and the very fact that this isn’t what he started out believing must make this more honest somehow. “After all, I’m admitting I used to be wrong, and I would be too embarrassed to admit that if this wasn’t really important and I wasn’t really sure I’m right now.”
Of course, some men and women who were once strongly anti-abortion have changed their minds as a result of experiences they and their family and friends have had and are now strongly pro-choice.
Personally, I fail to see how Matt’s epiphany is any more inherently worthwhile than those that go the other way. Just because you changed your mind does not make you right now. If there’s any inherent integrity in professing a view that is not what you once held, then that integrity works the other way around too.
And Matt and “LifeNews” seem to be making the point that because someone has had an experience he has undergone a profound change, and the very fact that this isn’t what he started out believing must make this more honest somehow. “After all, I’m admitting I used to be wrong, and I would be too embarrassed to admit that if this wasn’t really important and I wasn’t really sure I’m right now.”
Of course, some men and women who were once strongly anti-abortion have changed their minds as a result of experiences they and their family and friends have had and are now strongly pro-choice.
Personally, I fail to see how Matt’s epiphany is any more inherently worthwhile than those that go the other way. Just because you changed your mind does not make you right now. If there’s any inherent integrity in professing a view that is not what you once held, then that integrity works the other way around too.
“…a culture where recreational sex is fast becoming the norm for young adults…
I am so glad that finally, 42 years later, the culture is catching up with my early sex life. Enjoy, it’s all good! Don’t forget your birth control devices!
I am so glad that finally, 42 years later, the culture is catching up with my early sex life. Enjoy, it’s all good! Don’t forget your birth control devices!
“Perhaps I’d be walking her down the aisle soon.
as much as he whines I’m surprised he’s not grousing about how much the damn thing costs and how she’s spending his money like it grows on trees and the caterer and that dress, couldn’t she wear her mother’s…
as much as he whines I’m surprised he’s not grousing about how much the damn thing costs and how she’s spending his money like it grows on trees and the caterer and that dress, couldn’t she wear her mother’s…
Perhaps I’d be walking her down the aisle soon.
… on her way to the gas chamber after she listened to the voices in her head tell her that her children are demonspawn and had to be obliterated.
… to the cash register at the local grocery store because I’m the only one who qualified for food stamps.
… to the court cashier in order to pay her bail so she can get back in the kitchen and put food on her family.
Hey – this is fun! Try some for yourself…
… on her way to the gas chamber after she listened to the voices in her head tell her that her children are demonspawn and had to be obliterated.
… to the cash register at the local grocery store because I’m the only one who qualified for food stamps.
… to the court cashier in order to pay her bail so she can get back in the kitchen and put food on her family.
Hey – this is fun! Try some for yourself…
So Heath Ledger is dead because he had meaningless casual sex with his girlfriend followed by not having meaningless casual sex with his ex-girlfriend?
I think it’s far more likely he was mourning the legalized abortion he could have had, but didn’t, but would have had if he could because of all that meaningless casual sex he was and wasn’t having.
That and pretending to be gay (but not in the same way that Larry Craig pretends to be straight).
I think it’s far more likely he was mourning the legalized abortion he could have had, but didn’t, but would have had if he could because of all that meaningless casual sex he was and wasn’t having.
That and pretending to be gay (but not in the same way that Larry Craig pretends to be straight).
I guess your spiritual adoptees balked at joining NARAL ?
Conventional wisdom tells young people that casual sex is meaningless.
Yea. Meaningless. That’s why horny guys all around the country keep pursuing it…
Yea. Meaningless. That’s why horny guys all around the country keep pursuing it…
Or, she would be the frustrated mother of four unwanted children, married to an underemployed, abusive drunk. I suspect that she became sexually active at a young age as an act of rebellion against her controlling father — but, because she had never been taught about birth control, got pregnant at age 15, and with abortion not being an option, was forced to marry the guy who knocked her up.
Whom she banged because she needed to get away from her controlling father, who was starting to sniff around her underwear drawer in a misdirected attempt to safely assault a woman who would be powerless to resist him and his tiny flaccid penis, which even hookers who have been tipped well have had to choke back gales of derision for.
Whom she banged because she needed to get away from her controlling father, who was starting to sniff around her underwear drawer in a misdirected attempt to safely assault a woman who would be powerless to resist him and his tiny flaccid penis, which even hookers who have been tipped well have had to choke back gales of derision for.
That and pretending to be gay (but not in the same way that Larry Craig pretends to be straight).
Left by Britisher
I think Britisher’s theory is more valid that “No Mops! No Mops!”
Heath Ledger died of pseudohomophobia, the fear of playing someone gay in a major motion picture that garnered Academy Award nominations by the saddlefull.
And he couldn’t quit it…
Left by Britisher
I think Britisher’s theory is more valid that “No Mops! No Mops!”
Heath Ledger died of pseudohomophobia, the fear of playing someone gay in a major motion picture that garnered Academy Award nominations by the saddlefull.
And he couldn’t quit it…
I think Janet should talk to Matt about that casual sex thing.
At least it seems it was a pre-marital relationship.
At least it seems it was a pre-marital relationship.
Nobody ever killed themselves over love until “recreational sex” came along.
What a moron Janice Crouse is.
“Casual hookups can lead to heartbreak! I mean, look what happened to that couple who were together for three years and had a child together!”
I found out only last year that my mother and father got married one month before I was born (I’d always assumed they were married the year before.) It was my mom who told me, and she added, “EVERYBODY did that.” They were together until my dad passed away from a stroke 24 years later.
See-she’s right! If only my parents hadn’t been such sluts, my dad would still be alive!
“Casual hookups can lead to heartbreak! I mean, look what happened to that couple who were together for three years and had a child together!”
I found out only last year that my mother and father got married one month before I was born (I’d always assumed they were married the year before.) It was my mom who told me, and she added, “EVERYBODY did that.” They were together until my dad passed away from a stroke 24 years later.
See-she’s right! If only my parents hadn’t been such sluts, my dad would still be alive!
Oh, and…am I the only one who’s a little creeped out by Matt Barber’s fantasies about the aborted fetus?
“I also sometimes imagine her at 12, taking her to one of those Purity Ball.
And sometimes I pretender it didn’t happen at all, and start eyeballing 22-year-old girls in the mall, trying to detect a resemblance between on and my ex-girlfriend. At least, that’s what I tell the security guard.
But he never believes me, and when I tell him about the heartache I still feel about the child I lost 22 years ago, he just rolls his eyes and drags me by the collar out the door.
He’s obviously some radical left-wing extremist, pro-abortion atheist faggot…”
“I also sometimes imagine her at 12, taking her to one of those Purity Ball.
And sometimes I pretender it didn’t happen at all, and start eyeballing 22-year-old girls in the mall, trying to detect a resemblance between on and my ex-girlfriend. At least, that’s what I tell the security guard.
But he never believes me, and when I tell him about the heartache I still feel about the child I lost 22 years ago, he just rolls his eyes and drags me by the collar out the door.
He’s obviously some radical left-wing extremist, pro-abortion atheist faggot…”
Matt Barber, the director of policy and cultural issues for Concerned Women of America
I never tire of reading things like that.
I never tire of reading things like that.
Mr. Barber doesn’t touch upon the profound sense of relief that an abortion can bring a man. 
Casual sex is “fast becoming” the norm? Didn’t Dr. Janice once admit to her own youthful, sweaty, multi-partnered, multiple-orifice-filling Saturnalian past? You know, as a way of displaying her bona fides to today’s curious but confused, lecture-lovin’ Teens? Was that just a ploy? Or did she imagine she was the only one?
“Purity balls”
They just drip with unintended irony, fortified with oxymoron.
They just drip with unintended irony, fortified with oxymoron.
Yeah, Doghouse, she WAS the only one-and believe me, it’s hard to have a one-person orgy. 
(Now I’m picturing that Monty Python sketch where Graham Chapman wrestled himself.)
(Now I’m picturing that Monty Python sketch where Graham Chapman wrestled himself.)
Barber talks about the kinds of daydreams he has about the baby who could have been — and recounts experiences similar to women who terribly regret their abortions.
I know other commenters have asked similar questions on previous threads…
But does the potentialincubator mother of Barber’s hypothetical baby feature in any way, in his unresolved grieving process for a counter-factual world?
I know other commenters have asked similar questions on previous threads…
But does the potential
Yeah, Doghouse, she WAS the only one-and believe me, it’s hard to have a one-person orgy.
(Now I’m picturing that Monty Python sketch where Graham Chapman wrestled himself.)
Left by Bill S on January 30th, 2008
Use of both hands.
(Now I’m picturing that Monty Python sketch where Graham Chapman wrestled himself.)
Left by Bill S on January 30th, 2008
Use of both hands.
“Could someone explain to Janice that a long term relationship with a child is a very different thing from casual sex…”
You’re going to have a lot of trouble explaining that concept to a member of the same political movement as Mark Foley.
You’re going to have a lot of trouble explaining that concept to a member of the same political movement as Mark Foley.
What Mike Nilsen said!
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