As you know, President Bush delivered his final the State of the Union Is Not My Fault Address today. So, let’s find out what two of our favorite Concerned Women For America, Janice “Mad at My Mop” Crouse and Matt “Bam Bam Barber,” have to say about totally unrelated stuff.
First, in “Men’s Hearts Can be Broken, Too,” Janice reveals the cause of Heath Ledger’s death: casual sex!
After discussing what Heath’s friends have reportedly said about his broken heart following his break-up from the woman he was possibly married to, (I guess the Beverly LaHaye Institute is conducting a research project on Hollywood gossip mags), Janice confides, “No one can know what was really going on in Heath’s life, and his tragic death is likely a accidental overdose of sleeping pills.” But even if his death WAS an accident, that doesn’t mean that casual sex shouldn’t have to answer for it.
But in a culture where recreational sex is fast becoming the norm for young adults, tragic deaths like Heath’s (even when the cause is murky) should be a wake-up call. Conventional wisdom tells young people that casual sex is meaningless. Heath’s depression following the break up of his relationship with Michelle Williams is just one example of the fact that not even sexy hunks are exempt from broken hearts.
So, kids, Heath was depressed after his partner and/or wife left him, and then he later DIED, probably accidentally — and this proves that you shouldn’t sleep around because … um … just don’t do it, okay!
Now, here’s Matt ” Bam Bam” Barber, expanding from his “gay sex is icky” repertoire to jump on the “post abortive men” bandwagon,” because not even sexy hunks are exempt from broken hearts.
Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) — As Americans mourn 35 years of legalized abortion, some of the men and women involved in abortion decisions say the pain and regret from the abortion has prompted them to become strongly pro-life. These post-abortive men and women are the face of not only the pro-life movement but of the problems abortion causes.
Yes, they apparently have two faces: a bossy, controlling one and a whiny one.
Matt Barber, the director of policy and cultural issues for Concerned Women of America told LifeNews.com about his personal account of how abortion affects men.“Abortion doesn’t only hurt women and kill children; it can also deeply wound the men it touches,” he says. “I’m sad to say that I know this from personal experience.”“Along with the realization that a woman has chosen to end the life you helped to create, comes a profound sense of loss and guilt,” he explains.Barber talks about the kinds of daydreams he has about the baby who could have been — and recounts experiences similar to women who terribly regret their abortions.“I can’t know for sure, but I sometimes imagine my first child was a girl,” he said. Today she would have been about 22 years-old, finishing college, and, I suspect, ready to take on the world.”
Or, she would be the frustrated mother of four unwanted children, married to an underemployed, abusive drunk. I suspect that she became sexually active at a young age as an act of rebellion against her controlling father — but, because she had never been taught about birth control, got pregnant at age 15, and with abortion not being an option, was forced to marry the guy who knocked her up. And her life really sucks now, poor thing.
“Perhaps I’d be walking her down the aisle soon. I can’t know. I’ll never know. Only God knows. My child was torn from this world before anyone could know,” he concludes.
I can feel Matt’s pain. See, I too know the pain of not getting invited to your imaginary child’s wedding. I hope that Matt can find peace the way I did: by spiritually adopting a bunch of other people’s fetuses and signing them all up for memberships in the National Organization of Women.
Posted by s.z. on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 3:07 am