The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

The Hell?

A brief round-up of some really weird stories.
Oliver Stone has set his sights on his next directing project, “Bush,” a film focusing on the life and presidency of George W. Bush, and attached Josh Brolin to play the title role.
Um, okay.  That might be something that people would want to see, I guess.
But here is my favorite Stone quote from the article:
“I want a fair, true portrait of the man. How did Bush go from an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world? It’s like Frank Capra territory on one hand …”
Featuring Jimmy Stewart as “George,” the alcoholic bum who loses the deposit money and thus dooms the Savings and Loan.  But then he gets his dad’s friends to make up his losses, and he eventually becomes President of the United States — and then he leaves the nuclear codes in the bank, where they are picked up by mean Mr. Potter Osama, and the world is destroyed.  It’s the feel good hit of the season!
 ”… but I’ll also cover the demons in his private life, his bouts with his dad and his conversion to Christianity, which explains a lot of where he is coming from. It includes his belief that God personally chose him to be president of the United States, and his coming into his own with the stunning, preemptive attack on Iraq. It will contain surprises for Bush supporters and his detractors.”
I’m sure it will also contain surprises for God, who had no idea he was being blamed for election fraud.
2.  Copied directly from WorldNetDaily, here is their lead headline:
‘Jesus’ held hostage over ‘wiener poopie’
This has Dr. Mike written all over it!
Anyway, we want to thank WND for bringing us this important news.
3.  Now, let’s see what’s new at Renew America:
I guess it’s time to move to another state with smarter straw.
But here’s another Renew America exclusive:
So, if you don’t vote for Alan Keyes and his “Theocracy the Way God Intended It” platform, then I guess you’re pro-Hitler.
4.  Let’s wrap things up with a visit to Bill O’Reilly’s Fox News site.  So, Bill, what have you been up do lately?
Undercover Investigation
‘The Factor’ goes inside swingers club rocking small Texas town
• Read the transcript
I’m not into the Falafel scene like you are, Bill, but thanks anyway.
Then there’s this:
Disturbing Charges
Allegations that General Electric is doing business with Iran and bin Laden family post-9/11
As we said about the allegations that Bill kidnaps and sexually harasses puppies, which he then skins and eats, using their fur to make his designer suits, “Disturbing if true.”
But hey, let’s not leave without catching Bill’s latest “Shouting Points Memo.”
Because if anybody knows about dishonesty in media, it would be Bill — and this memo proves it!
More dishonesty in politics and in the media. That is the subject of this evening’s “Talking Points Memo.”
Let’s look at our pal John Edwards, who’s running for president. Edwards contends there are “two Americas,” one for the rich and the other for everybody else. And that everybody else is getting hosed. The fix is in; the economy’s rigged.
“Talking Points” doesn’t believe that. Of course the rich do have advantages, but I am living proof that you can start with very little and prosper economically if you work hard and keep it honest.
Yes, Bill’s is a true Horatio Alger story of a man who rose from a humble middle-class upbringing to multi-millionare status, all through hard work and honesty.  And blowing Roger Ailes.
To hype up this class warfare, Edwards is now bringing in homeless veterans.
Tonight, across this country, 200,000 men and women who wore our uniform and served this country patriotically, veterans, will go to sleep under bridges and on grates.
Now I’ve said on this program that we will pay for homeless veterans to be taken to the Edwards mansion in North Carolina for shelter. Of course, that’s an immature remark, I know that, but there’s a reason I’m saying it.
Because Bill is immature?
Naw, it’s also because he’s a big blowhard, an insensitive jerk, and possible sociopath.
Certainly there are homeless veterans, but it’s not because of the economy. It’s mostly because of addiction and mental illness, something politicians can do little about.
Yes, there is nothing that politicans can do to help addicted or mentally ill veterans get shelter or medical treatment, so it’s dishonest of Edwards to talk about them.  I mean, giving them any kind of medical care or benefits or anything is just crazy talk!
Fine. Here’s the truth about poverty in America, Mr. Edwards. Listen up. You might learn something. And you need the lesson.
If you earn less than $10,000, you are poor. If a family of four earns less than $21,000, they are poor. Yet according to the government census, poor households in America have lots of stuff.
Ninety-seven percent have a color TV, 78 percent a DVD player, 80 percent an air conditioner, 73 percent a car or truck, 63 percent cable or satellite TV, and 43 percent of poor households in the USA own the home they are living in.
It’s GREAT to be a poor person in America!  They live better than Bill does!
So if the poor are not destitute in America, and they obviously are not, why are so many veterans sleeping under bridges, John Edwards? The answer again is they’re mostly addicted or mentally ill. It has nothing to do with the economy.
But they are still living under bridges in one of the wealthies countries in the world.  Doesn’t that bother you, Bill?
Edwards is a charlatan, a man either too uninformed or too dishonest to be elected to anything. I am tired of hearing this nonsense from him and other callow politicians. We deal with facts here on “The Factor,” not fiction. John Edwards owes us an apology.
I think we need to make an updated version of Trading Places (1983), with Bill O’Reilly playing the smug rich guy dumped on the streets to live as a homeless person.  I would pay to see it — in real life, I mean.

Posted by s.z. on Sunday, January 20th, 2008 at 9:04 pm.

18 Responses to “The Hell?”

If he isn’t a full-blown sociopath, he certainly has sociopathic TENDENCIES. Is there a worse person in the world? And the worst thing about it is that he’s so utterly un-self-aware that he will never EVER realize how awful he is. He will merrily self-justify this crud for his entire life. Goddamn. I can barely even stand to read him filtered through WoC. – Dishonesty in Politics and in Media
Well, it’s not the snappiest slogan I’ve ever heard, but it certainly beats “Fair and Balanced.”
Keyes places 3rd in Utah Republican Assembly group’s straw poll
are they the ones making all the arguments?
I trust there’s a special place in hell for Bill. But I hope that before that there gets to be a moment where Jesus glares at him and says, “You know what? Fuck off, you repulsive little bully.”
Of course homelessness among vets doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that they’re returning home, in large numbers, with crippling injuries and PTSD. It’s got nothing to do with genuinely shoddy treatment from the government that promised to take care of them. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that some of them are addicted to painkillers for those injuries, and absolutely nothing–nothing at all–to do with the fact that those injuries make them unable to perform jobs they held before we shipped them overseas. It’s got nothing to do with the destruction of their lives and their families as a result of traumatic mental illness our government is denying exists so they can have the option of dragging broken men back to the battlefield. It’s got nothing to do with a government that’s throwing money at war profiteers and ignoring or worse returning veterans who need things–somewhere to live, decent medical care, mental health care, retraining and job placement–and instead get bills telling them they owe us back their signing bonuses and also the cost of the armor they lost to the IED that’s taken their limbs and destroyed their lives. It’s got nothing the fuck to do with the fact that after we’ve destroyed their lives they don’t know–and wouldn’t be able to fix even if they did–how to handle any of this and resort to self-medication.
I suppose as far as Bill’s concerned, substance abusers are all doing it because they think it’s fun–except Rush Limbaugh, who had a real problem and deserves our sympathy–and if these guys didn’t want to be living under bridges with injuries caused by car bombs they shouldn’t have signed up to protect Nevada from wildfires in the first place.
And I’m probably just going to have to maul the next asshole who explains that because poor people could afford twenty bucks ten years ago for a sandwich maker in the home they own (TRAILERS, Bill, fucking TRAILERS, as in no equity, no resale value, and less goddamned mobility than you might think which really sucks because they mostly don’t own the land the things are sitting on either), this somehow makes up for not being able to afford three hundred bucks a month for heart medications.
I heart you, d. Just saying.
Q: How did Bush go from an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world?
A: Huh, I dunno, Oliver.
“Ninety-seven percent have a color TV…”
Holy shit, a color TV? Truly, this nation’s poor are living in the lap of luxury. Obviously, they should have availed themselves of one of the many cheap black and white sets ready for purchase at retail outlets across the country.
Finally: What the fuck is with O’Reilly’s perverse obsession with using the name of his show or the individual features of his show as a collective noun to refer to himself? “Talking Points” doesn’t believe anything, you buffoon, it’s not an actual entity.
dont ya reckon they need to get the guy who plays George w Bush in Harold and Kumar 2 to play george w Bush in Olivers ‘fair’ movie. Thats only ‘fair’ right!?!?!
i made a clip of both georges here
Completely mutual, julia, I assure you.
Bill’s got his wires crossed, anyway. I’m guessing most of the poor people with A/C are not the same poor people who “own their own homes”. They’re probably renters in states where without A/C you die in the summer. The disabled–a group that tends heavily toward poverty for reasons I’m sure the government can do nothing about (well, not without raising taxes anyway)–often literally *can* die without A/C, and it’s no more an elective luxury than the heart medications.
But hey, they once found a used Crock Pot at the GoodWill while they were clothes shopping for the kids (and are still rolling over the cash advance loans to pay off the interest), so they’re doing great!
Die. Now. Please?
You lost any relevance…well, basically when you left Westbury for the lusher pastures of Levittown, and the world of Fox news before it was owned by Murdoch.
Go take your Peabody and shove it sideways, pal.
I hope Bully-O’s money is invested in our sub-prime mortgage credit-card-defaulting economy, and he finds himself out on the street after Murdoch fires him and hires a new hate-filled idiot to vomit his bile on Fox.
To further Bill’s point, the survey of poor households found very few homeless people living in them. Clearly this has wide-ranging implications.
43 percent of poor households in the USA own the home they are living in.
Try again, Bill. That should read:
[...] 43 percent of poor households in the USA “own” the home they are living in.
Now, go as one of your “researchers” what a mortgage is, okay?
I hate, really hate, to diverge from the exquisite O’Reilly-rampage above, but can’t help noting that the owner of the kidnapped Jesus statue also referred to in Scott’s news roundup said that the perp called her and spoke in a “real graspy voice”. Now that’s English!
Obviously these people were operating from completely venal motives.
Incidentally, this is one of my favorite blog post titles here. Really sums it all up.
Fuck! Just skimming those headlines makes me feel in need of a lobotomy/shower.
Isn’t there some sort of commandment against having a statue of God?
Dtto on the new version of Trading Places. Or better yet, let’s make it a reality show. 12 weeks of BillO living on the street, enjoying all the advantages of the welfare system, that would be something to watch.
We had that in Vancouver last year: one gibbering idiot spent seven days living in Stanley Park in August, then hit the campaign trail saying he knew what it was like to be homeless.
There’s clueless, then there’s Doctor Watson level clueless.

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