The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Bite Me, Park Service

With both Sadly, No! and Crooks and Liars apparently suffering the slings and arrows of outraged Michelle Malkin stalkers, we were feeling a bit left out, and wanted to get in on some of that sweet, sweet, Denial of Service action.  Specifically, we were curious to see if we could find some –or really, any — images that would help to substantiate or refute the wingnut claims that 30,000 would-be warriors attended the Gathering of Eagles counter-demonstration in Washington, D.C.  Naturally, I was inclined to declare that it was a figure randomly fished from Kristinn Taylor’s anus, except I’m pretty sure that Kristinn Taylor was a girl I dated in my junior year of high school (dirty blonde hair, as I recall, about 5’7″, good in field hockey, vice president of the Latin Club) and I don’t like to kiss and tell.  However, after an adroit bit of Googling, we discovered, to our astonishment, incontrovertible photographic evidence that supports the GoE’s claims:

A Gathering of Fleagles.
You can just make out the Washington Monument in the background, proving beyond a doubt that literally thousands of Fleagles (many of them wielding felt tongues and Fender Telecasters) gathered to defend the somber black granite monument that honors those brave souls who gave their lives in combat on Danger Island.  Dr. Hayden.  Link.  Chongo.  The list goes on.  What dirty hippie would dare approach this hallowed ground and let fly with their urine bombs and Silly String, knowing they must first fight their way through an army of Saturday Morning mascots voiced by Paul Winchell?
To paraphrase Henry V on St. Crispin’s Day:

One Banana, Two Banana, Three Banana, Four
Four Bananas make a bunch, and so do many more.

And so do many more.  And so….do many more.
The last part about Henry V on St. Crispin’s Day works soooo much better if you imagine it with Richard Burton’s voice!
“Don’t talk about our Fleagle, Martha.”
Well, much as I hate to indulge in a cliché…
More lies and manipulation from the Left! Those are not Fender guitars; they’re Gibsons, probably ES-137s! Fender is not the guitar of the silent majority. Gibson is!
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
defend your enemy
call yourself a patriot
but work against your country
I can’t exactly where I saw it (possibly on TBogg or Sadly, No) but the most priceless slag on GoE was from a commenter who referred them as “Blathering of Smeagols.”
Perfect: Three words that manage to encapsulate both their primary activity and their appearance!
Dude, this is how factual error is slowly creeping onto the Internet and giving it a bad name. The ES-137 wasn’t introduced until the 1990s. Check out that weird, curving, Eurotrash tone-button baseplate, which matches Droopy’s Vox teardrop. Now, I’ve never actually seen a Vox teardrop with a curving Eurotrash tone-button plate, but then I’m no expert. Could be a Vox-knockoff, maybe a Framus, but they weren’t real big sellers here. Anyway, a Gibson it ain’t.
Doghouse Riley,
“The ES-137 wasn’t introduced until the 1990s.”
Even more proof that the Banana Bunch was ahead of its time.
“Banana Bunch”? That would be the Banana Splits….man….what a philistine.
I’ll stick with Flock of Seagulls.
30,000 New Wavers with crested wave hairstles would drive those little doggies right back to the abatoirs of Kansas City.
Curses! Foiled by Doghouse Riley, who actually knows what he’s talking about and checked the original image.
Coming up next… The Arabian Knights. Just make sure NOT to pull the little donkey’s tail.
Doghouse Riley, who actually knows what he’s talking about…
Or alternately is a guy with too much time on his hands, a taste for vintage guitars that overmatches his budget, and a link to this guy’s site.
One wingnut who comments regularly at Talkleft when all else fails likes to invoke the cliche “Eagles don’t flock”.
Guess this really proves him right, in a strange way.
Heh. My brother was at the protest, said he felt sorry for them.
“I felt kind of bad for them—it was such a small group of people, with no direction or focus.”
The Park Service rep GOE spoke to is the guy who picks up trash with a sharp stick. He says every piece of trash= 100 people. The GOE’s are very slovenly.
PS: to SZ. I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your email. I was embarassed and couldn’t think of anything to say. Now I have a throat & ear infection. My sister says I should gargle with hot water & cayenne powder, tho she counseled against pouring it in my ear. Anyone here ever try the gargling? Sounds painful. -Kathy in Sparks Nevada
Scott & Co… I was so tranfixed by the the graphic I have no idea what your post is about.
But as child in the UK the Banana Bunch was a favorite of mine and Felagle was definetly the star. Not as subversive as the home-grown “Magic Roundabout” but somehow sharper than “the Monkees”. None held a candle to Batman of course (even as an 8-year old I got the irony and camp of that series) but I;m glad to see Fleagle being resurrected without the expected mange. Well done!
Never mind that this comment has nothing to do with anything
Where have I been all my life that I’ve never even heard of the Fleagles?
The main squeeze is a luthier, and if he’d ever get up from his nap I’d ask him to take a look at those guitars… but being a guitar builder, he needs his rest. Okay, he does have a day job, but, well, ya know how ’tis…
Kathy, I hear you can put oil of clove in your ear, just a small amount, and it will help. But consider this advice issued with a disclaimer blah blah no medical license blah blah.
I found much of GoE’s Mission Statement eloquent and inspiring. Agreed, memorials to fallen soldiers are hallowed ground. So I hope GoE will treat hack politicians (regardless of party) who use them for photo ops to prop up knee-jerk campaigns with the same venom and contempt as they showed the war protesters.
I don’t agree with GoE that you can’t support troops and oppose a war at the same time. If you support troops, you realize that well trained young men and women who are in top physical condition and willing to fight and die for you are a precious national resource, not to be squandered on some asinine misadventure forced on the American public through a slick media campaign.
There are also several lovely statements in there about defending freedom. Though not laid out in the mission statement, their actions and their members’ posts say loud and clear that the way you defend America’s freedoms is by drowning out people you disagree with. But then again, how many groups (political, religious) really live up to their mission statements after all?
One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.
Over hill and highway the banana buggies go
Coming on to bring you the Banana Splits show
Making up a mess of fun, Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Four banana, three banana, two bananas, one
All bananas playing in the bright warm sun,
Flipping like a pancake, popping like a cork,
Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and, Snork
Making up a mess of fun, Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
(background singer – La—–aaah!)
Two Banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swinging like a bunch of monkeys hanging from a tree
Hey there everybody won’t you come along and see
How much like Banana Splits everyone can be
Making up a mess of fun, Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Boy, that takes me back.
Back in the early seventies, I wrote a high school newspaper obit for Snork, in which I “finally” revealed the troo fax surrounding the band’s breakup, which, as is common knowledge now, was primarily due to the deeply troubled felt elephant’s ultimately fatal coke addiction.
Piece pretty much wrote itself, what with that big raggedy looking hooter of his, nose candy refs, and the easy ones about internal splits in the ‘splits.
That guitar just might be a Guild Starfire III.

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