The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, February 21, 2011

So, You Want Pathetic Kitten Photos?

Okay, here is pound kitten Bob. Unfortunately, he was born with only half a tail, half a Hitler mustache, and half of an evil Spock goatee. However, if you buy your Amazon stuff by clicking through the Wo’C portal, we can buy Bob the rest of his mustache. Won’t you help Bob to achieve his full evil potential?
Here is Bob with Kit, one of the orphan kittens I handraised. Both are hungry and waiting to be fed, since they haven’t eaten anything since that chicken they stole off the cabinent a couple of hours ago. For just clicks a day, you can help to fill these bottomless pits. Won’t you please help?

And here is Ziggy, one of the semi-feral kittens from last year.  As you can see, he isn’t a cute little kitten anymore, but he still believes he matters.  Here he is, doing his audition for “Death of a Salescat.”    “Attention — attention must be finally paid to such a cat,” he insists.  He would also like to be fed.  So, if you can find it in your heart to give him a few clicks, then maybe he won’t rip your throat out.  (Seriously, he is the sweetest cat in the whole world, and would never rip out anyone’s throat — that job would go to Flossie, the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, who would probably then share your juicy innards with the others.)
 So, I hope this has satifisfied your kitten lust.  If not, we’ll post photos of more of the brood later this week . . .  

16 Responses to “So, You Want Pathetic Kitten Photos?”

Can you make the pictures bigger?
Melior, I just tried (I HATE this stupid software). Anyway, I ended up just stretching the photos, which may make them kind of grainy and distorted (or maybe it’s just the cats who are grainy and distorted). I asked Scott to fix them, and hopefully he can suceed where I failed.
Oh, man. Those are adorable. Um, if I order just my regular stuff from amazon through your link, do you A) still get credit for that and B) get to see that I bought a used copy of UFOs For Dummies and a subscription to Juggs* and mock me for it?
(* Not really. I paid serious bucks to get rid of a pair, I’m hardly paying more to see some. The UFO thing, no comment.)
Yes! More kitties! My kitten lust shall never be sated!
Yes, I’m afraid that, like Buffalo Gal, my lust for pet pix is also bottomless, like their little tummies. If we promise to click, will you provide MORE, MORE, MORE?
Yes, if you enter Amazon through our portal (either the link to the book, or through the Shop Parole link) and then navigate to what you want to buy, a percentage of Amazon’s earnings will go to prop up the Wo’C Home for The Professionally Cute.
I have it on good authority from Bob that the dry cat food is tasty.
how about if y’all just put a paypal link so we can throw some spare change directly to the kitty/computer fund?
Thank you! Bob does look like a future Master of the Universe. And possibly a future 18-pounder.
PS. We like *dog* pictures, too. Just ask Ntodd.
Won’t you help Bob to achieve his full evil potential?
I think that face looks more like, “How could you ever think I could knock over that vase. I am completely blameless and innocent.”
If Bob is in fact evil, he’s the last one anyone would suspect.
Thanks for the pics! Bob looks … mezmerized. Probably by anything at all. And cute cute.
Now I am confused, as I thought I was paying attention, but we have Kit (handraised orphan) and Ziggy (semi-feral)…these are distinct incidences? I remember the two semiferal ones, but Kit came later?
Oh well just please keep the pics coming, love that even better than the world-class snark.
Well, okay. If origami paper turns up on the weird “Here’s what nutbars like you bought” list, that’s my fault. Man, if you guys could get kickbacks from Kim’s Crane, you’d make out like bandits.
we have Kit (handraised orphan) and Ziggy (semi-feral)…these are distinct incidences?
I took in the semi-feral kittens (Tibby and Zigra, AKA Ziggie) last November, and after a period of adjustment, they became such wonderful cats that they inspired me to try some further pet rescue operations. Thus, this summer I took in their pregnant teenage sister, who had her kittens and then promptly escaped through a ceiling vent, leaving me with four 4-day-old kittens. I bottle fed them until they were weaned (let me tell you, motherhood is HARD), and ended up keeping the two boys, Bix and Torgo Kitten (AKA Kit). And you know about Bob and Oliver Twist, the latest two acquisitions, picked up the day before they were to be put to sleep at the pound.
It’s definitely a lot of cats, but right now Bob is sleeping on my lap, and I can see Jet Jaguar sleeping in the sun, and it’s all worth the fortune I spend at PetSmart every month.
Well, okay. If origami paper turns up on the weird “Here’s what nutbars like you bought” list, that’s my fault.
Aw, thanks a million, D. Sidhe! We really appreciate your help, and think you’re the BEST PERSON EVER! (And we promise to never tell anyone that it was you who bought the origami paper.)
Heh. D. Sidhe’s origami changed my life, and has done such wonders for Lee & Susan, I can’t WAIT to post pictures of when they finish the whole new bedroom that Susan is adding onto her house for Lee, ’cause Susan’s going to hang every last little birdy from the ceiling!
(BTW, check yer snail-mail, D.)
Now, S.Z.: As you know, I’ve got the End-Of-The-Month-Broke-Ass-Mofo-Blues, so I prolly won’t be able to contribute to the Kitten Rescue Mission in time for x-mas or any other made-up holidays in the near future, BUT — as soon as we get Lee’s brain tumor fixed and got her into physical rehab & get her SSD benefits straight & operable again, here’s what I will do:
I’m going to set up a fund-raiser/blogathon for people to send you PetSmart gift cards. I’ve got several photos of your kitties saved from over the years, and will prolly be looking for more as you continue to collect (and one of these days, I’m going to the Archie McPhee website & order you that “Crazy Cat Lady” action figure!!!) kitties, and I’m gonna slap ‘em up all over my blog and any other blogs who’ll let me assault them with multiple mass-mailings.
You and the kitties and the yippie little dog are definitely next on the list.
And since this hick-ass town only SHOOTS cats, whereas they keep a DOG pound at the parish jail, I am one of the few crazy cat ladies who feed our dozens of feral cats in town out of my own pocket, ’cause you can get canned cat food really cheap in any hick town where 1/3 of the residents are on disability and/or welfare & food stamps. Connection, y’think?
So the skittish, gorgeous little balls of fluff who hover around Le Hotel du Fucktards (where I live, in other words) must surely be sending karmic thank-you waves to you, across the miles, for doing so much, always, to help/save so many of their kitty cousins.
So remember — soon as we get Lee cured, YOU’RE NEXT on the Annti’s Emergency Charity Drive List.
Love y’all.

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