The World O' Crap Archive

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Sunday, February 20, 2011

What It All Means

We’ll give you all another day for Ultimate Wingnut nominations, but in the mean time, I thought it would be enlightening to discover the message the wingnuts say we should be taking from the election results.

And basically, the message boils down to this: “The damned politicians let us down by not being conservative enough, and so we wash our hands of them!” This response not only allows the wingnuts to remain on the winning team (since their team would have won the election if it had been allowed to play), it also permits them to remain martyrs, since they were betrayed by infiltrators and saboteurs who betrayed the cause.

So, for a change of pace, we go to a trio of Renew Americans who have a different perspective on things.

First, it’s the lovely Marie JonApostrophe, who’s mad as hell at the American public, since we idiots voted wrong and thus made things difficult for the heroic George Bush.
Our thoughtlessness has put President Bush in an even more precarious position than that which he previously occupied. We have undermined him as well as our own country. Overnight, we have lost all the gains we have made since 9/11. The opposition party will begin to dismantle all the security safe guards, one by one.
Voting for the opposition party in time of war should certainly be defined as treason.
We have dishonored ourselves by showing our lack of support for the President of the United States. Iraq is lost as of November 7, as may be the War on Terror.
Yeah! And it’s all your fault for not supporting a totalitarian system of government!

Now, here’s loveable ol’ coot Carey Roberts, who explains that the President’s problem was all those Clinton-era feminazis are still around, ruining things for decent, hard-working men when the bitches should be home darning socks — or in the jungle.
If you should happen to telephone Ambassador John Bolton’s office at the United Nations, chances are good the person who answers your call will be one Peggy Kerry. Does that name ring a bell?
Perhaps it should.
And perhaps you should bite me, Carey, since I have enough other things to worry about without trying to keep track of who answers Bolton’s phone. (If Pam of Atlas Shrugged was his receptionist, I would probably remember, but otherwise, it’s just not a priority with me.)

And in any case, since Bolton is toast, I doubt that I am ever going to telephone his office at the U.N. – but, per Carey, it’s still of vital importance to know that Peggy is John Kerry’s sister, and, even worse than that, once gave a speech at an event sponsored by NOW.
I’m certain that Miss Kerry is well-qualified to work as a press aide. But really, how can the State Department be so clueless as to allow an avowed political and ideological foe of President Bush to hold such a sensitive position? Why not assign her to an understaffed consulate in, say, Mozambique?
Yes, how can the State Department be so stupid as to allow Democrats to possibly answer Republican phones? Damn it, they should have all been shipped off to Africa right after the 2004 election! Now look what happened to the GOP!
Tuesday night, President Bush’s Republican party hemorrhaged blood all over the TV screen. The Dems took control of the House of Representative and registered solid gains in the Senate. But the electoral losses certainly weren’t for Bush failing to appease the rad-fems.
Bush should have known that appeasing the rad-fems is just as bad as coddling the Chi-Coms!
To his credit, President Bush did manage to shoehorn $150 million into last year’s welfare reform law to promote marriage and fatherhood. But that money will do little to stem the destructive effects of Clinton time-bomb programs like the Violence Against Women Act.
So, it’s Clinton’s fault that Don “Mistress Strangler” Sherwood didn’t get re-elected? Gad, when will the man stop ruining this country!
These laws allow any half-witted welfare queen to game the system.
You know, I’m starting to think that Carey might have some issues with women! So, speaking of half-wits, let’s go to Kaye Grogan. She explains that it’s the Jews’ fault the Republicans lost the House and Senate.
According to one report: many of the Jewish persuasion helped to “send in the clowns” apparently in both the House and Senate by a whopping 87%.
When I went to the polls to cast my vote, I had to ask myself: “how would Jesus vote?” I know for certain Jesus would not be in favor of a party that embraces radical positions specifically linking themselves to abortion on-demand — nor would He be favorable to same-sex marriages.
Sadly, the Jews didn’t ask their selves “how would Jesus vote?” and so they voted sinfully. And now the rest of us have to suffer because of their failure to be Christian.
There is not any doubt that many conservatives who tried to stay the course with a party slipping away from their voters, have pie in their faces, but pie washes off — while deception is branded in the souls of deceivers until doomsday.
Kaye is right! For, like another great American said, “While Republicans can’t find their wind, Democrats let go with wind in flourishing gusts that mean nothing but a foul fog in the night.”
I think that about sums things up.

15 Responses to “What It All Means”

Carey opposes the Viloence Against Women Act? Does that mean he’s PRO domestic violence?
Somebody get his wife an iron skillet.
My favorite Carey comment was this little gem:
In most states, domestic violence is defined so broadly that sending mental telepathic messages is now considered be a form of harassment and worthy of state intervention
I gather the voices in Carey’s head are less annoying than the ones in mine. And yes, Bill, he’s pro-domestic violence just as the anti-tolerance brigades are pro-bullying and hate crime.
Man, these people are scary. The funny thing is, I don’t mind having small-c-conservatives around. I think it’s probably a good idea if, whenever liberals propose some idealistic thing, someone is there to say, “Now let’s think about this for a moment”. I don’t agree with much of anything that small-c-conservatives say, but it can be useful to get a little dissent just so we can make sure we know something is going to work.
(It’s the guys like Grover Norquist I could do without–people who view government as a perfect path to self-enrichment. There are, I believe, small-c conservatives who think government can improve peoples’ lives, even if they believe government can best improve peoples’ lives by getting the hell out of the way.)
The GOP, on the other hand, would very much like to see liberals wiped from the face of the earth and the democratic party whipped into silence, if not outright outlawed, but certainly not allowed to vote, to speak in public, to hold government jobs. They do not see any value in opposition at all. You are with them, or you are a traitor.
And then I got to watch people on Sadly, No! explaining that at least, unlike those sore loser democrats, conservatives are “classy” in defeat. It’s quite a surreal experience, and you wouldn’t believe the migraine I have from it.
However, I do believe that the consolation for losing is getting to feel oppressed, so they can go ahead and whine. Though I think it should be acceptable to subtract “oppression points” based on which parts of government and society they still control (Hint: It’s a lot.), and how much they’ve been feeling oppressed on advance. They can then feel oppressed to make up any balance.
Also ‘hemorrhaged blood’ is a tautology.
Somehow, I get the feeling that ol’ Kaye there, being a Republican, is fairly familiar with pin in her face…wonder if she hangs out with Lynne Cheney?
You are going to have young Ms. Pammy in the contest, now aren’t you?
I’ve actually figure out why the vote went the way it did: Hallo’een candy, tainted with the spirit of Satan, infected the minds of all the “values” voters that stole a little from their kids bags, coupled with the propensity of “many of the Jewish persuasion” to vote Democratic caused this disastrous landslide.
Next year, schedule the election before “Devil’s Christmas”, preferably on Rosh Hashanna, and keep Americah Red!
I, myself, felt the devlish aftereffects of a satanically possessed Butterfinger or two when I was pulling the le, er, pushing the screen on Tuesday.
You are with them, or you are a traitor.
Isn’t it interesting that when the Dems are in power, there’s a place for Rethugs, but when THEY’re in power, there’s no place for US. I suppose it’s necessary and a “good thing” that we take the high road, but it’s infuriating none-the-less.
Okay, okay, you got me. I admit I put a spell on the candy to make six year olds vote for democrats.
And JoeBuddha, there’s no place at the table for the corrupt and the criminal and the power-crazed and the un-small-d-democratic. So even I have my limits. There’s room for conservatives with principles. There’s room for conservatives who feel you have no fundamental right to an abortion (though I think they’re wrong). There’s no room for conservatives who feel you have no fundamental right to vote.
There’s room for conservatives who want welfare reform. There’s no room for conservatives who want to privatize it to this company they incidentally happen to be on the board of.
There’s room for conservatives who want lower taxes. There’s no room for conservatives who want to exile the opposition party.
There’s room for conservatives who support the death penalty. There’s no room for conservatives who support war crimes.
You can have a different and even an objectively wrong opinion (“Illegal immigrants are bleeding our government dry”, “More prisons are more cost-effective than better schools”, “Universal health care would be more expensive than our current system”). What you can’t do is declare you have the *only* opinion. That is profoundly undemocratic, small-d.
You can argue with the opposition, but you can’t shut them up. And once you start commiting crimes, you belong in a courtroom, not government.
The Jewish persuasion? Like they have to be talked into it? And if she thinks Jesus would vote for the Grand Old Pharisees instead, she’s smoking crack.
I managed to misspell “Violence”. Me so genius am.
actor 212′s typo, however, conjures up a rather amusing image-well, amusing to me. I think if you DID stick a pin in Kaye’s face, all the air would leak out of her head.
We’re supposed to nominate the Ultimate Wingnut this year? Keeeeeee-ripes, I’m having a panic attack! Um, OK, gotta read the thread below… hey, what’s this? Marie’? Kaye? Carey “Older Than Teh Hills” Roberts? Wingnutty goodness, with a creamy nougat filling! Huzzah!
Let’s take a look at this crap these nuts-du-wing are spraying about like incontinent hippopotami–sorry, hippos, but nothing hurls shit like you do. Well, nothing, except these three. Man, they’re a veritable hurricane o’ poo!
We have dishonored ourselves by showing our lack of support for the President of the United States. Iraq is lost as of November 7, as may be the War on Terror.
Man, Marie’ is a dolt! Oh, and incidentally, Marie’, Fuck You! Not that I want to, BTW, and not that I wish that awful fate on any breeder boy here. But, Fuck You, you st00pid right-wing cow. Could anyone possibly be st00pider than Marie’?
When I went to the polls to cast my vote, I had to ask myself: “how would Jesus vote?” I know for certain Jesus would not be in favor of a party that embraces radical positions specifically linking themselves to abortion on-demand — nor would He be favorable to same-sex marriages.
No, He’d favor the party responsible for the deaths of well over 600, 000 people… on this watch alone! Yep. That’s who Jeebus would prefer. Y’see, it’s all OK, ‘cos they were mostly brown-skinned Islamomuslims, and that makes all the difference in the world. Kaye? You’re a pro-genocide fascist. Oh, yeah–you’re also even st00pider than Marie’ Jon’. That’s almost… impressive. But, not really. Go slather yourself in delicious, delicious mesquite bbq sauce and go camping in Grizzly country for a couple of weeks. The bears are soooooooooo cute! If you see any, approach them and give them a good scratching under their chin. They just love that!
Oh, look, it’s Carey Roberts, dishin’ it out “Old School” in favor of violence against women, evidently. OK, make that Old, Old, Old School. Or maybe, “Oldest School.”
Were you aware that Carey had his name legally changes in 1279 from “Methuselah?” It’s true, I tells ya!
The senility set in around 1600 or so, so Carey’s forgotten a lot of things. But, he remembers one thing loud and clear: women and sea men don’t mix. Or was that… Um, in any event, all you skanky hussies out there are most definitely not welcome on Carey’s boat, the Good Ship Lollipop, which is crewed exclusively by butch, manly men. Ahem.
Oh, look! A semi-fukt-up tag! It must be a post from Marq!
Huzzah! It is!!1!
Except for killing people, beating wives, lynching black men for looking at their soon to be beaten wives, bombing people, standing up for insanely rich people when you can’t afford to buy a tooth, watching cars go around a circle on TV for 4 straight hours painted to look like laundry detergent and candy bars, getting really fat, polishing machine guns and old Nazi Waffen SS death head insignia with loving style and grace and just generally hating everyone, I’m at a loss for what Republicans of today stand for. Oh. That’s right. Destroying the planet by destroying the entire concept of science and science education. Answered by own question.
I do like how the GOP wife beating Congress is marching in synch with their wife beating base, incl. Mr. Carey. Who uttered this gem:
“These laws allow any half-witted welfare queen to game the system. All she has to do is utter this phrase: “Judge, I’m feeling afraid for my safety.” No proof of injury or physical violence is needed.”
First, he should stop talking about female NASCAR fans in such a deleterious way. Second, Mr. Carey apparently supports the “one punch in the face is okay” approach to domestic bliss. Apparently his daily lead paint consumption is not enough so he is going into the sporting goods aisle at Small-Brainmart and just eating lead sinkers right out of the bag. Sort of like capers.

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