The World O' Crap Archive

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Monday, February 21, 2011

Speaking of Jonah...

… Here’s a golden opportunity to write his book for him (and for very little pay)!  But just think how impressive your internship with Jonah “My Mom Got Me The NRO Gig” Goldberg will look on your resume.  (That is, assuming that the book he’s soliciting help with isn’t ”The Old World Adventures of Trent Lott, Sexy Ole Miss Cheerleader.”)
Help Wanted [Jonah Goldberg]
I’m gonna need a meticulous, smart, diligent intern/assistant type to help me with the house-cleaning on my manuscript. In particular, I need someone to help get my copious footnotes and the like in order. There will also be some serious research-related stuff to do as we head into galley mode.  It would be best if he or she — or conceivably it — went to school or worked in the DC area so we could meet from time to time. I haven’t thought through the money question, but you can be assured it won’t be lavish. But what’s filthy lucre compared to a glowing mention in the acknowledgements and my eternal gratitude? Anyway, anybody interested in said gig should send an email with appropriate info (resume, experience, dancing ability etc) to  Posted at 12:51 PM
Yes, all you have to do for that acknowledgment in this fine Regnary (if he’s lucky) publication will be to organize the blegged footnotes, do research (possibly via blegs), and help Jonah come up with the appropriate Simpsons references on the burning issue of liberal fascism.

So, if you happen to need a really bad job (possibly because you’re doing research for your “The Office” script), today may be your lucky day!

11 Responses to “Speaking of Jonah …”

Jonah? Research?
That doesn’t sound right.
Oh boy, I always wanted to be a slave to a spoiled idiot! Will I get to do all his errands too?
So Jonah managed to write a book despite having his “copius” research in disarray. Sounds like a true work of scholarship.
Advertising for an intern is pretty smart, though. I’m sure the going rate for an intern is a whole lot less than the fee that a “manuscript doctor” would charge.
Dancing ability?
Was Jonah THAT disappointed in Tucker’s performance on Dancing With The Scars?
I suspect that the meagerly-paid ‘intern’ will, in fact, be writing the damned book, as I do not believe that Jonah’s mythical manuscript exists.
“I’m gonna need a meticulous, smart, diligent intern/ assistant type to help me with the house-cleaning on my manuscript.”
I take it that he needs someone to clean out his verbal septic system
Oh, I forgot. Jonah, just make sure that the person – or it – you hire knows “Conjunction Function.” You seem to have a bit of a problem with parallel construction.
Do you suppose Jonah will get mad if his “assistant” points out that many all of his assertions are, in fact, lies?
You know–as well as his claims, his so-called “facts,” his statements, and pretty much everything else in the book. I’m thinking, “Yesh.”
Could I do better than “Bob the Bob-tailed Bobcat?” Lately I’ve been trying to write a Regency Romance, but I might put it aside for J.
I do not believe that Jonah’s mythical manuscript exists.
Same here. In fact, I’d go so far as to suggest that Jonah’s “copious footnotes” (I’m visualizing a shoebox full of clippings) are pretty much all that exists of his “book” other than the kewl Photoshopped cover. Pushing back the release date was a dead giveaway.

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