Bill O'Reilly Kicks Butt, Names Names, and Gives You Other Tips On Making Friends
I was at NewsMax, reading an article about how the evil NY Times is picking on a Friend of Bill (O'Reilly), the saintly Mel Gibson, just because Mel issued death threats against one of their columnists in an effort to stir up interest in his unwatchable movie. (I was only reading that article because it came up while I was looking at a list of entertainment news stories at Google News -- what I want to know is just how Google selects its 4500 "news sources," and how we can become one, because I think we present every bit as much actual news as NewsMax, and are way more professional, since WE don't have ads for prostate cures and attracting women via pheromones on OUR site).
Anyway, a link at the bottom of the article is titled O'Reilly Responds to Pinhead Critics. I clicked it, since I thought my name might be mentioned, but instead of Bill responding to Zippy and the rest of us, it was just an ad for Bill's new book (yes, apparently Bill written a book--who knew?), which you can buy through NewsMax.
In their ad, NewsMax discloses exciting new details about the contents of this book, but only gives us broad outlines and generalities -- so, I've provided my best guesses as to what Bill's book really covers. Follow along at home and see if your guesses match mine (remember, the NewsMax copy is in maroon, my responses are in black -- you can use whatever color you like to record your answers and score them at the end). So, let's start the game!
At least, that's what I think Bill's book will have to say about these topics. If your answers make mention of Al Franken, Madonna, and how the The New York Times will take ANY action to crush its opponents, give yourself 100 points. If you said Bill will only be looking out for you after they pry your gun from your cold, dead fingers, give yourself 50 points. If you thought Bill had really written a book and were going to by it, sorry, no points for you.
But that reminds me remind you to check your Parade section in tomorrow's paper for some advice from Bill on picking friends and judging others. It will be especially helpful to us single women, since it promises to teach us how to recognize good guys, and how to get pregnant so we can trap them into marrying us.
So, read Parade and remember to vote for cake or pie, come election day.
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