The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

September 5, 2003 by s.z.

Bill O'Reilly's Shocking Confession: "I'm Jennifer Lopez!"

A piece (Secret Identity) in the fair and balanced ("America's News Page: No Illegal Aliens Allowed"), indicates that at a party Wednesday night in celebration of Peter Jenning's twenty years as a Canadian mole, Bill O'Reilly confided to the ruthless NY Times that he would like to sue Al Franken, but he'd lose, since "Famous people have no protection in this country."  And then there's that damned First Amendment!
NewsMax further reports that
When asked by a New York Times reporter about Franken's new book, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right," which features O'Reilly on the cover, the prime-time powerhouse sneered: "Why would anybody listen to him? He says he's a satirist. If Franken's a satirist, then I'm JENNIFER LOPEZ."
Bill further indicated that he didn't instigate the Fox lawsuit against Franken, stating, " I don't have anything to do with them [Fox]."  Which seems a bizarre thing to say, since he does appear nightly on their news channel -- but I'm sure Bill wasn't LYING or anything.
Bill said that if he were Fox, he would sue Franken "for defamation" (presumably, defamation of Bill, even though Bill doesn't have anything to do with Fox); but since he's not, he will just take comfort in his career as a pop singer/movie star, and his upcoming wedding to Ben Affleck.

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