NewsMax brings us the news that, despite all those gleeful “gotchas” from the liberal media, Jeb is claiming that he’s always been open about his sexual orientation.
Or something.
And now you know the rest of the story!
Or something.
Jeb Bush: I Wasn’t Hiding in the ClosetWell, that changes everything! Because, after all, a boiler room is a much manlier place to hide from protesters (and their nasty language and uncouth shouting) than is a closet
Florida Gov. Jeb Bush has disputed media accounts that said he hid in a closet to avoid anti-Republican protesters during a visit to Pittsburgh last week.
Bush encountered protesters Oct. 6 while on his way to a fund-raising event for Republican Sen. Rick Santorum at Pittsburgh’s exclusive Duquesne Club.
Curiously, those media accounts seemed to focus more on the “closet” aspect of the story than on the behavior of the unruly, obscenity-shouting mob. The stories mentioned prominently that Bush sought “refuge in a subway station supply closet.”
Bush said it was actually a boiler room.
Bush said he had to seek safety in the boiler room when he came across the protesters, but also said he was never concerned for his safety because he was taller and “more burly” than most of the protesters who chased him.Um, right, Jeb. You’re a big, burly, manly man who’s never afraid of anybody (except Barbara “The Enforcer” Bush, of course). Whatever you say.
16 Responses to “Breaking News: Jeb Bush Claims He Was Never In Closet!”
In the movie version to be released in October ’08, Jeb bursts out of the boiler room and charges the crowd, brandishing a can of Lysol and shouting, “Say hello to my leetle frien’!!”
Man, how screwed up does your family have to be to make Jeb *still* look like the emotionally well-adjusted one?
The protesters who got tasered were members of the Ironworkers’ Union. No wonder Jebbie was a-skeered.
The stories mentioned prominently that Bush sought “refuge in a subway station supply closet.”…where Jebby spent some quality time chatting with noted child-toucher and former Republican’t cangress-critter, Freddy Krueger. Freddy waxed eloquent about what he’d do to a dorm full of 16 and 17-year-old pages, and a good larf was had by all!
Bush said it was actually a boiler room.
And now you know the rest of the story!
Marq, you’re starting to worry me. How have you become so cynical?
After the Palm Beach Post published excerpts from the email traffic between Jeb and Mark PedoPholey, Jeb is understandably concerned about using his name and the word “closet” in the same paragraph.
Someone should explain to Jeb that “Burlier” is not a synonym for “Fatter”.
Just too aware of the rotten state of reality. Heh–”burlier.” I hope he next describes himself as “stout.” Or, maybe even “big-boned.” “Flabulous?” Hee hee.
“Pleasantly plump?”
Have you ever seen an oak burl? I’d say it’s an excellent synonym.
Synonyms include “beefy” and “husky”.
That’s hawt.
That’s hawt.
So he’s a bear, is what he’s saying, right?
Bill, if you mention lil’ Jeb sporting buttless chaps, I’m gonna have to hurt you.
[...] But I saw you were in my old home town recently, and you weren’t too popular with the locals, so the media reported that you hid in a closet. For some reason you thought that was terribly embarassing and felt the need to reassure the public that it was not a closet, it was a boiler room, or some other kind of small water-closet-type hiding place. [...]
I didn’t Marq, but…YOU did, so you’ll have to hurt yourself. 
*sigh*. I usually do.
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