The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

School for Victims

Poor Mark Foley! Nobody is buying his excuses for why he preyed on the pages — which were, as I recall:

1. I’m an alcoholic.

2. I’m gay.

3. A religious leader molested me when I was a child.

4. I thought I was a Democrat (Okay, that’s actually the excuse of such conservative lights as Ann Coulter, who is having such a great time with this scandal that I wouldn’t be surprised if Drudge didn’t reveal tomorrow that Ann set up the whole thing.)

5. I thought that Denny Hastert was actually Michael Moore (his girth confused me), and so, being a good Republican, I ignored him when he told me whatever the heck it was he said about seducing or not seducing the pages. (Okay, I actually thought of that one.)

However, it seems that the people aren’t buying any of these excuses, and are even going to far as to claim that their opinion of the Republican party is even lower now than it was when they learned that the Republican President had conned them into a misguided and mismanaged war.

Fortunately, James Dobson has stepped up to the plate and has provided Foley with some new excuses that may be better received by Values Voters:
Reasons boys are in trouble today:

1. The negative content prevalent in most mass media.
2. The favoritism shown to girls in public schools.
3. The sexual revolution and radical feminism.
4. The absence of caring fathers.
5. The weakening of the family, which hurts boys the most.
I think that if Mr. Foley would emerge from rehab and claim that “Everybody Loves Raymond,” radical feminism, the better treatment Susie got from teacher in second grade, the weakening of the family, and the absence of a caring father in the House leadership caused his actions, all would be forgiven.

UPDATEAs Mark S. noted, the Dobson piece starts with an anecdote that you should all read:
“Our son was using our home computer to do some research for a report he’s writing. While doing a search, he accidentally stumbled onto a porn site. He frantically clicked the ‘back’ arrow but couldn’t get out, then panicked. I wish I would have given him permission ahead of time to simply turn off the computer if something like that happened. That was three days ago. He’s still upset.”
Yes, to a kid who grew up in a home where the mere mention of sex was forbidden, stumbling upon the front page of a porn site probably would traumatize him for weeks — not because seeing seminude bodies was inherently disturbing, but because he was afraid of what his parents would do when they found that he accessed such a site.  But somehow, this story illustrates Dobson’s thesis that it’s secular society that is hurting today’s boys.

14 Responses to “School for Victims”

I clicked the Dobson link and it starts off with parents complaining about this and that problem with their sons. Standard stuff, except for this one:
Our son was using our home computer to do some research for a report he’s writing. While doing a search, he accidentally stumbled onto a porn site. He frantically clicked the ‘back’ arrow but couldn’t get out, then panicked. I wish I would have given him permission ahead of time to simply turn off the computer if something like that happened. That was three days ago. He’s still upset.
“Son, you are NEVER to turn off this computer, even if there are fifteen pop-up windows of barely legal lesbians locked in the most insane orgies!”
If only Dobson could have gotten there sooner.
You know what teh Rethuglicans really want, don’t you?
A Democrat child-toucher in the House or the Senate, ‘cos then they all get to scream, “SEE! THEY DO IT , TOO!!1!” Which is eventually modified to, “THEY’RE ALL THAT WAY!!1″
So, I hope that Nancy Pelosi’s crack staffers are thoroughly combing through the Dem side of the aisle, ‘cos Gawd help us if the Republican’ts get wind of one before we do.
Don’t forget that if you beat your breast and claim you’re a Christian, that’ll get you leintacy. It works for Ann Coulter.
Yeah. “Accidently”.
Foley is a distraction. Investigate this sicko and take down everyone with him but let’s keep focused. As the Foley event unraveled, everyone forgets that we just lost Habeas Corpus a mere 3 days ago. Anyone, I repeat ANYONE can be an ‘unlawful enemy combatant’, no right to attorney, judges or even a hearing. Add it to the list of curbed rights like caging protestors, conducting warrantless wire-taps, banning books like “America Deceived” from Amazon, stealing private lands and starting 2 illegal wars based on lies. Get the scumbags involved in this Foley mess (bet they ALL voted for Iraq war and Patriot Act), and let’s get back to focusing on losing our Constitution.
Final link (before Google Books caves and drops the title):

This was very telling:
I wish I would have given him permission ahead of time to simply turn off the computer if something like that happened.
“PERMISSION” to turn off the computer? The kid must live in fear of James if he cannot figure out to turn the fucking machine off himself. No shock there. This is a man who talked about beating up the family pet to assert his control, and if I recall correctly, the family dog was a DACHSHUND.
Amazing.
As info: Ryan Dobson
This is not funny, it’s chilling. The guy’s son is terrified of doing anything his parents will perceive as “wrong” – why? Because they are abusive.
Maybe I’m just ignorant about how computers work, but, why couldn’t he just close out the site? Don’t you just have click on the little “x” in corner of the screen? On any computer I’ve ever used, that’s been an option when viewing the Internet-are there computers that, when displaying websites, don’t offer that option?
Anna:
This is not funny, it’s chilling. The guy’s son is terrified of doing anything his parents will perceive as “wrong”
I agree completely. And what is even more sick is that he is some kind of authority on child rearing, when he should be jailed.
Bill S, admittedly there are XXX websites that make it difficult for you to close, what with unending pop-ups and windows too big to close. Still, it is sad that he need permission to turn off the computer.
Still, it is sad that he need permission to turn off the computer.
He normally isn’t allowed to ‘cos that computer is the spam mail server for Focus on the Family, and Dobson’s newsletter/panhandling pamphlet, “Prayerifying with SpongeDob Stickypants.” Since it a major revenue source for FotF, lil’ Ryan is under orders to not only never turn it off, but to bodily throw himself between the computer and any physical threat to it (like a rampaging Grizzley bear, or a crazed, axe-wielding Nancy Pelosi). Since Ryan is a coward, being around the pee-cee makes him nervous.
Dobson writes While doing a search, he accidentally stumbled onto a porn site. He frantically clicked the ‘back’ arrow but couldn’t get out, then panicked.
Don’t forget to clean up after “panicking,” young man.
I don’t think this story is about Ryan. I mean, isn’t he in his 30′s? Then again, considering how batsdhit insane his dad is, a guy that age might still be traumatized by porn.

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