Sure, you and I think of Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh as “conservative entertainers,” or “right-wing propagandists,” or “really bad people who say incredibly stupid, vile things.” But it seems that George Bush and Dick Cheney think the two blowhards are credible journalists, and gave them both interviews this week.
Here’s a bit from the second part of Bill O’Reilly’s Exclusive Interview with President Bush:
But now, on to the President’s new “Freedom From Constitutional Rights” program:
Not that the President would ever question anyone’s patriotism, you understand.
Tomorrow, Bill asks the President why people keep saying mean things about Bill, and wonders why these smearers haven’t yet been sent to Gitmo.
Or, as Bill puts it:
But anyway, over to the Rush/Dick Show.
Basically, Rush and Dick Cheney congratulated each other on how well the economy now works for rich people; hinted that the terrorists are plotting to destroy big chunks of Iraq before the election, just to get you to vote for Democratic candidates; and then chatted about how, despite what those jerks in the media and their stupid polls may tell you, the Republican Party will triumph yet again this November, because REAL Americans think the GOP is doing a great job.
P.S. Now, here’s a little contest for you: caption this Fox News Photo, and you could win valuable imaginary prizes!
Here’s a bit from the second part of Bill O’Reilly’s Exclusive Interview with President Bush:
O’REILLY: Is water boarding torture?Translation: “You can’t make me talk about the torture, Bill, no matter now hard you try! Anyway, all the damned American people need to know is that we’re ‘questioning’ bad guys to keep them safe!”
BUSH: I don’t want to talk about techniques. [...]
O’REILLY: But if the public doesn’t know what torture is or is not, as defined by the Bush administration, how can the public make a decision on whether your policy is right or wrong?
BUSH: Well, one thing is that you can rest assured we’re not going to talk about the techniques we use in a public forum. No matter how hard you try because I don’t want the enemy to be able to adjust their tactics if we capture them on the battlefield.
But what the American people need to know is we’ve got a program in place that is able to get intelligence from these people. And we’ve used it to stop attacks.
But now, on to the President’s new “Freedom From Constitutional Rights” program:
BUSH: The Supreme Court ruled that the president didn’t have the authority to set up these courts on his own, that he needed to work with Congress to do so. And we did.Yeah, if you’re opposed to torture, or against the suspension of habeas corpus, then you’re against questioning terrorists. YOU would probably take Osama to Disneyland instead of asking him about his various plots, and the American people should question your patriotism, you damned Democrat!
Anyway, what’s interesting about these votes that took place in the Congress is the number of Democrats that opposed questioning people we’ve picked up on the battlefield. And I think that’s an issue that they’re going to have to explain to the American people.
Not that the President would ever question anyone’s patriotism, you understand.
O’REILLY: Do you think Hillary Clinton is soft on terrorism?This next part of Bush’s answer is kind of boring, so allow me to paraphrase the President’s comments:
BUSH: I think — first of all it’s very important for me never to, you know, question anybody’s patriotism.
But we’re at WAR, a real war against evil bad guys. That’s why I authorized intercepting the phone calls of Al Qaeda villains who are, even as we speak, using their Sprint “Friends and Plotters” minutes to discuss their plans to murder you in your sleep. And that’s also why I believe we should ask captured terrorists about their plan to nuke your daughter’s elementary school, even if said questioning might involve a little so-called “torture. However, Hillary thinks it’s more important to be “legal” than to prevent your fiery, agonizing death. And she says there is no war, just like she claims that there was no moon landing.End Paraphrase
I strongly disagree. And so does Usama bin Laden, and Mr. Zawahiri, sworn enemies of the United States, who would like to attack us again. And that’s the fundamental difference of attitude. I’m never going to question anybody’s patriotism.
But I am going to say there’s different point of view here in Washington, D.C. And the American people get — they got a choice to make coming this November. And I believe the choice is stark and clear.Translation: “The people can either vote Republican, and continue the fight against evil, or they can vote Democratic, and pave the way for an Islamofascist conquest of United States, leading to the end of life as we know it. But hey, American People, it’s your choice! Don’t let me tell you how to vote.”
Tomorrow, Bill asks the President why people keep saying mean things about Bill, and wonders why these smearers haven’t yet been sent to Gitmo.
Or, as Bill puts it:
O’REILLY: Now tomorrow, we’ll talk with President Bush about the personal attacks leveled against him and the fact that many people think he’s a religious fanatic.I wonder if Bill will ask Mr. Bush if he calls himself a nut behind his back, and if he tries to manipulate himself by using religion.
But anyway, over to the Rush/Dick Show.
Basically, Rush and Dick Cheney congratulated each other on how well the economy now works for rich people; hinted that the terrorists are plotting to destroy big chunks of Iraq before the election, just to get you to vote for Democratic candidates; and then chatted about how, despite what those jerks in the media and their stupid polls may tell you, the Republican Party will triumph yet again this November, because REAL Americans think the GOP is doing a great job.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: I think it’s easy to sit in Washington and sort of absorb the vibes coming from the national media, but that doesn’t represent necessarily what’s going on out there around the country. When you get out on the ground talking with real people about real problems, their hopes and desires for their families and for the nation, as well as their appreciation for what we’ve been able to accomplish over the last six years, you get a very positive feeling.I just want to know when Cheney has ever been out on the ground talking to real people about ANYTHING. (Dick, those people they arrange for you to speak with at those canned town meetings are kinda like those quail you shoot at those canned hunts. And the positive feelings you get from both events are equally based on self-deception, you putz.)
P.S. Now, here’s a little contest for you: caption this Fox News Photo, and you could win valuable imaginary prizes!
UPDATE: The link to the photo isn’t working, but it’s the pic from the transcript of Bill’s interview with the Prez, showing the two of them chatting before a fireplace. (You can click on the photo to make it larger.) I just thought that it would be interesting to know what you think the two of them are REALLY talking about in that scene.
25 Responses to “Remember, They’re Doing This on Your Dime”
looks like a FauxNews logo to me. might want to double check the link
Okay, when I clicked on the photo link, I got a blank screen so I’m going to caption it: Exclusive! Fox News Obtains Copy Of GWB’s CAT Scan!
Oh, and s.z. re:
(Dick, those people they arrange for you to speak with at those canned town meetings are kinda like those quail you shoot at those canned hunts. And the positive feelings you get from both events are equally based on self-deception, you putz.)
Simply fabulous. You dear, are a master. I hope you and carnival cats are feeling better!
Oh, and s.z. re:
(Dick, those people they arrange for you to speak with at those canned town meetings are kinda like those quail you shoot at those canned hunts. And the positive feelings you get from both events are equally based on self-deception, you putz.)
Simply fabulous. You dear, are a master. I hope you and carnival cats are feeling better!
When you get out on the ground talking with real people about real problems, their hopes and desires for their families and for the nation, as well as their appreciation for what we’ve been able to accomplish over the last six years, you get a very positive feeling.
People telling you to go fuck yourself is a positive feeling? Who’da thought?
People telling you to go fuck yourself is a positive feeling? Who’da thought?
I’m not sure I can deal with The Zombie Veep and President Sidecar this week. The whole torture bill thing has left me screaming. Part of me is yelling “Jesus H Fucking Christ, what kind of fucking animal fucking thinks there’s an up side to fucking *torture*, what the fuck is next, the fucking pro-fucking-child-molesting bill, are these assholes fucking *insane*?” I mean, it’s *torture*. It’s, you know, bad. It’s *supposed* to be. That’s kind of the whole deal. Why the hell are we having an argument with these people like there’s anything rational to discuss after they’ve announced they think torture can be a good thing? How the hell did these people become the national arbiters of moral values? How is it anyone can look at these people without their jaws dropping in sheer disbelief? Is there any way in which what they’re saying can be construed as anything other than evil or crazy?
And then there’s a part of me that keeps asking which we’ll spend longer in hell for: torturing a few hundred people, or killing tens of thousands? I’m not sure I have an answer. Osama bin Laden must be laughing his ass off. We’ve become terrorists. What else is there? We’re a terrorist state.
And then there’s a part of me that keeps asking which we’ll spend longer in hell for: torturing a few hundred people, or killing tens of thousands? I’m not sure I have an answer. Osama bin Laden must be laughing his ass off. We’ve become terrorists. What else is there? We’re a terrorist state.
Last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP had the SS arrest him.
Hey, my copy of Better Living Through Bad Movies has arrived. Nice work, guys – I’ve left you a nice review at Amazon.
BUSH: Well, one thing is that you can rest assured we’re not going to talk about the techniques we use in a public forum. No matter how hard you try because I don’t want the enemy to be able to adjust their tactics if we capture them on the battlefield.
Errrrrr, like how…surgically implant GILLS, you motherfucking moron?
Errrrrr, like how…surgically implant GILLS, you motherfucking moron?
Thanks Sniper, the review is much appreciated.
They’re talking about their blue ties. Blue ties are in. Yellow ties are out. So are red ties. It’s all blue ties all the time now. So if you don;t wear a blue tie, you’re not in the smug asshole club.
Sorry I missed this hard-hitting interview. I’m sure O’Reilly gave W the questions a week in advance so he (Karl) could think about how to answer (spin) them. Otherwise the prez mighta tripped up the way he did with Matt Lauer (who’d never tripped up anybody before) during the 04 convention, saying something weird like, “we may never win the war on terror.”
Next week Jeffrey Dahmer gets a guest spot on Emeril.
Next week Jeffrey Dahmer gets a guest spot on Emeril.
W: “So, Dick gets his hand up my ass, and wraps it around my spinal cord, like this. By moving his fingers, he can make my mouth move and look just like a normal person.”
B: “I wish my falafel could do that.”
B: “I wish my falafel could do that.”
Listen, Bill, anyone can be a weasel. Watch me be an Emperor Weasel!
“Anyway, what’s interesting about these votes that took place in the Congress is the number of Democrats that opposed questioning people we’ve picked up on the battlefield. And I think that’s an issue that they’re going to have to explain to the American people.”
Actually, what the Dems really have to explain is why they have rolled over and played dead for this human piece of shit for the last six years. And most of the American population has to explain why they’ve had their heads so far up their asses that they could munch on their own livers.
Oh, I forgot 9-11 changed everything. My bad.
Actually, what the Dems really have to explain is why they have rolled over and played dead for this human piece of shit for the last six years. And most of the American population has to explain why they’ve had their heads so far up their asses that they could munch on their own livers.
Oh, I forgot 9-11 changed everything. My bad.
Last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP had the SS arrest him.
I think the last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP shot him.
I think the last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP shot him.
He thought he was being subtle, leaning forward just enough to allow the trapped flatus to silently escape, but moments before the foul waft reached his subject’s nostrils the fire in the background flashed over. Bill O’Reilly became the first recorded case of third-degree burns to the sphincter during an interview with a sitting US president. The moment went down in history as The Night of the Toasted Falafel.
Bill O’Falafel is playing “Gayzer”
Gayzer is a game in which you try to get a co-worker in an office or professional setting to look at your crotch, ususally by subtly pointing to the crotch region. in extreme cases one may directly point or gesticulate to draw attention, the more formal the setting the higher your score.
Gayzer is a game in which you try to get a co-worker in an office or professional setting to look at your crotch, ususally by subtly pointing to the crotch region. in extreme cases one may directly point or gesticulate to draw attention, the more formal the setting the higher your score.
D. SIDHE!!!!!!
Your magnificent box o’ cranes, all beautiful, flawless, perfect, colorful, wonderful little birds, arrived today, and I could not be more bowled-over.
Now, as to the care & feeding of my little aviary/estuary-in-a-box — what do they eat, and is this going to require a really big birdy litter box?
This is, without a doubt, one of the most unique gifts that I’ve ever received. Okay, so S.Z.’s early-birthday gift bowled me over, too, ’cause I am SO not used to people autographing their own magnificent tomes in tribute to little ol’ me.
Y’all are, without a doubt, the best medicince I could have while I’m recovering from the bone fusion and the fugly side-effects of some of these drugs. And no, nope, sorry kids, I ain’t sharin’.
At any rate, I expect to have my brain back before too much longer, and might even have something to CONTRIBUTE to WoC again… Just cross yer fingers and set fire to yer Dick Cheney voodoo dolls for me.
Love, hugs, kisses, and the occasional grope,
—A.S.C.
Your magnificent box o’ cranes, all beautiful, flawless, perfect, colorful, wonderful little birds, arrived today, and I could not be more bowled-over.
Now, as to the care & feeding of my little aviary/estuary-in-a-box — what do they eat, and is this going to require a really big birdy litter box?
This is, without a doubt, one of the most unique gifts that I’ve ever received. Okay, so S.Z.’s early-birthday gift bowled me over, too, ’cause I am SO not used to people autographing their own magnificent tomes in tribute to little ol’ me.
Y’all are, without a doubt, the best medicince I could have while I’m recovering from the bone fusion and the fugly side-effects of some of these drugs. And no, nope, sorry kids, I ain’t sharin’.
At any rate, I expect to have my brain back before too much longer, and might even have something to CONTRIBUTE to WoC again… Just cross yer fingers and set fire to yer Dick Cheney voodoo dolls for me.
Love, hugs, kisses, and the occasional grope,
—A.S.C.
Yay! Annti! Welcome back!
Most welcome, Annti. Hope you’re feeling better.
All the cranes require is that someone look at them and be pleased. Hopefully pleased enough to be nice to the next person they see, but if they make even one person a little happier, it’s a net good in the universe.
Crazy people have been known to put them in clear plastic boxes for display, to put them in bowls around their homes, to make jewelry with the smaller ones, to count them, to sort them, to let the cats play with them, to string them, to give some or all away, and to learn to fold their own and start sending those off to other people. It’s entirely up to you.
I view them as the byproduct of the folding process and keep them in a couple of big appliance boxes in my living room, and my partner views them as “pretty litter” and bitches about the big boxes in the living room. Both attitudes lead to them being mailed off to people and organizations at something approaching random whenever I have postage money I didn’t just buy more paper with. I can fold a hundred in two days if I’m not distracted, and generally manage a hundred a week just to try to keep ahead of the paper-collecting.
So it goes, and I have been known to take requests into consideration if anybody knows anyone who could use some.
All the cranes require is that someone look at them and be pleased. Hopefully pleased enough to be nice to the next person they see, but if they make even one person a little happier, it’s a net good in the universe.
Crazy people have been known to put them in clear plastic boxes for display, to put them in bowls around their homes, to make jewelry with the smaller ones, to count them, to sort them, to let the cats play with them, to string them, to give some or all away, and to learn to fold their own and start sending those off to other people. It’s entirely up to you.
I view them as the byproduct of the folding process and keep them in a couple of big appliance boxes in my living room, and my partner views them as “pretty litter” and bitches about the big boxes in the living room. Both attitudes lead to them being mailed off to people and organizations at something approaching random whenever I have postage money I didn’t just buy more paper with. I can fold a hundred in two days if I’m not distracted, and generally manage a hundred a week just to try to keep ahead of the paper-collecting.
So it goes, and I have been known to take requests into consideration if anybody knows anyone who could use some.
Folded cranes make nice package bows, and excellent mobiles. Pretty on Christmas trees too.
Scott, darlin’, if I got that kind of response everywhere I went, I’d be grinnin’ like a possum year-round. Thank you.
I can’t promise that I’m going to be any more reliable or regular about my commenting here than I’ve been pre-surgery, but I am trying. I’m just playing hell with these drugs this time — this one is a whole other world than what I went through at Charity Hospital, 6 years ago. And, unfortunately, I’m not enjoying ANY of the drugs.
And, to top off all of the other wonderful news, my CAPS-LOCK button went and DIED on me!!! How in the hell can I be Anntichrist S. Coulter without a Caps Lock?!??!?!?
But D., Darlin’ heart, I do wish that you’d send me your e-mail address, ’cause I don’t even know how to BEGIN to thank you for your wondeful gift of those gorgeous, surgically-precise little birdies. If I can’t get it here, could you swing by my blog and drop me a line? This is without a doubt, the most unique and beautiful gift that I’ve ever been given — I’m stil blown away by it.
And thus far, I’ve found adoptive parents for about nine of the beautiful little birds, ’cause I figured that (being as ignorant of Japanese culture as I am) the best thing to do with them was to share their beauty and whimsy with the world. And whatever I don’t give away, I’m going to string into a garland to drape around my entire closet of an apartment! Soon as I can get up on a ladder again, I’ll hang the cranes with my Chinese paper & silk lanterns, and it’ll look like party time at Rosie’s Bar on M*A*S*H!!!
Thank you again and again, D., and many many millions of thanks to S.Z. & Scott for that wonderful book. I did do a Cliff’s Notes “review” of the book before I went under the knife (just in case my karma was still sorely lacking on that score), but I still intend to write something worthy of such a hilarious book and such a generous gift.
Even with the surgery, this has proven to be one of my best birthdays EVER!!! And all thanks to my online angels and demonettes and loves of all natures.
I can’t promise that I’m going to be any more reliable or regular about my commenting here than I’ve been pre-surgery, but I am trying. I’m just playing hell with these drugs this time — this one is a whole other world than what I went through at Charity Hospital, 6 years ago. And, unfortunately, I’m not enjoying ANY of the drugs.
And, to top off all of the other wonderful news, my CAPS-LOCK button went and DIED on me!!! How in the hell can I be Anntichrist S. Coulter without a Caps Lock?!??!?!?
But D., Darlin’ heart, I do wish that you’d send me your e-mail address, ’cause I don’t even know how to BEGIN to thank you for your wondeful gift of those gorgeous, surgically-precise little birdies. If I can’t get it here, could you swing by my blog and drop me a line? This is without a doubt, the most unique and beautiful gift that I’ve ever been given — I’m stil blown away by it.
And thus far, I’ve found adoptive parents for about nine of the beautiful little birds, ’cause I figured that (being as ignorant of Japanese culture as I am) the best thing to do with them was to share their beauty and whimsy with the world. And whatever I don’t give away, I’m going to string into a garland to drape around my entire closet of an apartment! Soon as I can get up on a ladder again, I’ll hang the cranes with my Chinese paper & silk lanterns, and it’ll look like party time at Rosie’s Bar on M*A*S*H!!!
Thank you again and again, D., and many many millions of thanks to S.Z. & Scott for that wonderful book. I did do a Cliff’s Notes “review” of the book before I went under the knife (just in case my karma was still sorely lacking on that score), but I still intend to write something worthy of such a hilarious book and such a generous gift.
Even with the surgery, this has proven to be one of my best birthdays EVER!!! And all thanks to my online angels and demonettes and loves of all natures.
Caption:
Bush: Thanks to Diebold America will just be doing this in November so, no, I’m not worried..
Bush: Thanks to Diebold America will just be doing this in November so, no, I’m not worried..
Annti, you without a CAPS LOCK KEY is like Ann Coulter without the black cocktail dress… and, dear gawd, we wouldn’t want that, would we? Is there a fund somewhere to get you a nice, new keyboard, a Paypal button or some such?
Marq, darlin’, I appreciate the thought, but since I’m running on a four-year-old laptop, I’d probably have to have some major structural work done to fix that one key, instead of just goin’ by Radio Shit and getting a $20 keyboard. I’ve been able to function for a couple of years without a CTRL key (apparently the control key pad accepts finger pressure as easily as it does those little plastic springy things), so maybe, somehow, someday, I’ll learn to say something without all caps.
I can’t promise anything, but I can try.
And if you just wanna contribute to my pity-party fund (’cause I want to decorate this full-torso plastic-steel-and-aluminum brace from the back surgery and have to wear it for TWO MONTHS and there will be NO HALLOWEEN for me this year), I still have the PayPal account (joannaagain {at} hotmail, etc.).
Of course, the Xena concept came easily, as a theme for decorating my little linebacker outfit here… but I’m still not sure… I might go for the full-bore drunken-drag-queens-at-Southern-Decadence glitter/jewels/boas concoction, and then again, I might just carry a bunch of multicolored Sharpies around with me, and let people draw graffiti on me.
Any suggestions?
I can’t promise anything, but I can try.
And if you just wanna contribute to my pity-party fund (’cause I want to decorate this full-torso plastic-steel-and-aluminum brace from the back surgery and have to wear it for TWO MONTHS and there will be NO HALLOWEEN for me this year), I still have the PayPal account (joannaagain {at} hotmail, etc.).
Of course, the Xena concept came easily, as a theme for decorating my little linebacker outfit here… but I’m still not sure… I might go for the full-bore drunken-drag-queens-at-Southern-Decadence glitter/jewels/boas concoction, and then again, I might just carry a bunch of multicolored Sharpies around with me, and let people draw graffiti on me.
Any suggestions?
Actually, if your aged laptop has USB port(s), you might well be able to plug a standard keyboard into it and gain not only a caps lock, but also the CTRL key. If you keep your eyes open for sales, a generic USB keyboard can be had for well under $10–I’ve seen ‘em as low as $2. And, yeah, I definitely don’t advise getting repairs done, as that might likely run more than a new computer.
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