Happy Birthday, Scott!

While I’m not skilled enough (or awake enough) to compose the tribute that my friend Scott deserves, let me just say that he is undoubtedly the smartest, wittiest, kindest, funniest, most talented person I know who was ever part of the Coffee Achievers.




(Speaking of which, look what I found for you: YouTube – 1984 – The Coffee Achievers.

But that’s not your birthday present, Scott. No, you get these lovely photos of Rush Limbaugh:

And here’s a quote from Rush to go along with the photos:

Cigars relax me. They help me to think. I only recently began smoking them while doing the radio show, and just having one in my hand seems to lower whatever inhibitions I have just a bit and bring out the expressiveness of my personality.

Of course, by “cigars,” Rush means “blue babies.”
And speaking of Rush, he used most of yesterday’s radio program to claim that he did not make fun of Michael J. Fox (“Correcting the Record: One More Time: I Did Not Make Fun of Michael J. Fox“). No, Rush was just trying to accurately impersonate Fox for the benefit of his radio listeners, who probably had never seen Michael J. Fox before. For Rush would NEVER make fun of anyone with a disease.

That is beneath me and there’s no evidence and history of it on this program at all or in my behavior as a human being.

And as there is no evidence of Rush being a human being, I guess that technically he’s not lying.

Rush used the rest of the program to try to make the Dittoheads believe that it was the Democrats who were abusing Michael J. Fox, and Rush was just trying to help the poor little guy. But sadly, instead of applauding Rush’s humanitarian efforts, they were savaged by the media (“America’s Anchorman: Drive-By Media Carries Democrat Water, Lies About Anyone Who Gets in Their Way“), since the media hates Rush because he is beautiful.

If they [the media] really cared about Michael J. Fox as they pretend, to they would be denouncing the manner in which he has been used and exploited for their purposes. They would be attacking the manner in which scientific research is now being politicized. There’s been a tradition in this country of bipartisan approaches to the cure and research into diseases. That has now been turned upside down when it comes to Parkinson’s disease or close to it on Alzheimer’s and with spinal paralysis.

So, it’s the media that’s politicizing science, and thereby ending this country’s proud tradition of bipartisan medical research? Damn those journalists, who are keeping our politicians from doing their life-saving Alzheimer’s research!

Anyway, Rush did admit that he got it wrong when he said that Fox didn’t take his medication so he would look really pathetic when he filmed that commercial. Yes, Rush is now claiming that Fox took extra medication so he would look really pathetic when he filmed that commercial:

They [the Democrats] work with Michael J. Fox on deciding how he will appear in the ad. Make no mistake about this, because he has a choice.
He just said in the sound bite he was actually overmedicated when he did the ads. I leave the conclusion and meaning of that to you. I’m through speculating on this. I’ll I’m telling you is I know how campaign ads are put together. The Democrat campaigns decided for whatever reason they wanted Michael J. Fox to appear the way he does in the ads and the same way he appeared when he testified before the Senate

You know, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Fox didn’t contract Parkinson’s under the direction of the Democrats, just so he could try to make Republicans look bad during this critical election period.  Don’t let him get away with it, America!

Posted by s.z. on Friday, October 27th, 2006 at 4:41 am

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birrrrthhdaaaaaaay dear SCOTT! Happy Birthday to yooooouuuuuuu!

Left by BeginningToWonder on October 27th, 2006

Many happy returns, Scott. Y’know October 27th is known to us amateur almanacists as The Birthday of Poets: Dylan Thomas. Sylvia Plath. Simon LeBon. H. R. Haldeman. Drink up, lad! Conspire with supermodels! Make sure the pilot light hasn’t gone out!

Left by Doghouse Riley on October 27th, 2006

Happy birthday, Scott! Want some cranes? And Doghouse, those are excellent ideas. I’m off to do a few of them.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 27th, 2006

Happy birthday, Scott!

Left by Elayne Riggs on October 27th, 2006

Rush is a jerk.
I’m sending him this card right after the election:
http://www.cafepress.com/nkdholidaycards.80770067

Left by Jake Emerson on October 27th, 2006

It’s big, dark, and long and just having one in hand seems to lower his inhibitions.
Leave Rush alone- he’s off to the Dominican Republic where he’ll stuff many of them ibnto his mouth.

Left by Isaac on October 27th, 2006

Happy birthday Mr. c.
And s.z. if those are birthday presents I pray to whatever powers exist you never find out mine.
W.D.

Left by Weird Dave on October 27th, 2006

Unfortunately, Rush may be able to claim that he has credibilty with his overmedication claims. After all he does have experience in that arena.

Left by a cranny mint on October 27th, 2006

Y’know, I really don’t wanna know about the wide round things Rush likes to put in his mouth. I’m glad he didn’t tell us what he likes to sit on.
Oh, I remember that commercial! Can somebody tell me who Cicely was slapping after her coffee break?
Happy B’day, Scott. In addition to the people Doghouse Riley mentioned, you also have the same birthday as:
Teresa Wright
John Cleese
Fran Lebowitz
Scott Weiland
Ted Wass
Nanette Fabray
Matt Drudge (he’s only 39? I thought he was closer to 60.)
Roberto Benigni
Patrick Fugit (had to include him because I loved “Almost Famous” and “Saved”)
Floyd Cramer
H. R. Haldemann
Veronic Hart*
Autumn Blaze*
Kelly Osborne
(*if you know who those two are…I’d like to know WHY.)

Left by Bill S on October 27th, 2006

So Big Rush wasn’t mocking Janet Reno when he called her Shakes? Oh wait, wait, I got it. Shakes=roling the dice=gambling=Nevada=Reno!
Okay, it clearly had nothing to do with her Parkinsons.

Left by kate r on October 27th, 2006

Happy Birthday!

Left by Mark S. on October 27th, 2006

yeah, many happy returns on the day

Left by preznit giv me turkee on October 27th, 2006

Dammit, I read the title and thought you were wishing me a happy birthday! Then I realized that wouldn’t make much sense many month in advance…

Left by Scott Lemieux on October 27th, 2006

Teresa Wright and you have the same birthday? You’re keeping good company. Me, I’d like to have the same birthday as Claudia Black. Sigh…

Left by Serge on October 28th, 2006

Also, does anyone here smoke cigars? I’m not really one to talk since I smoke cigarettes, but with cigars, you’re not inhaling*, so what’s the appeal? Is it the taste? Or is it the feeling of having something the size of a large dildo in your mouth that you can suck on that’s the appeal?
*Or are you supposed to? The few times I tried inhaling a cigar, I coughed my lungs out.

Left by Mark S. on October 28th, 2006

I smoke way too many cigarettes, but I have indulged in a cigar now and then. To me it’s a taste / tactile thing. As far as the “a cigar is just a cigar” argument” I’m not schooled enough to comment.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on October 28th, 2006

Belated Happy Birthday, Scott, or Happy Belated Birthday, or Happy Birthday Belatedly.
I was hoping that as a birthday present, Rush would inhale too hard on his cigar and he would choke to death on it, but it didn’t happen. Well, maybe next year.

Left by tomg on October 28th, 2006

Those pictures of Rush remind me of a hog with a straw sticking out of it’s ass.

Left by bronco214 on October 28th, 2006

Rush… oh, I can’t go on.
Thanks for the hideous photo.

Left by Lulu Maude on October 28th, 2006

Happy Birthday, Scott!
Don’t look at the photographs.

Left by Gentlewoman on October 29th, 2006

On the one hand, Scott, I am very jealous that Bill S. went out and did the research to find all of the famous and semi-famous and almost-famous people who share your birthday when he didn’t do it on mine (You Scorpios always get the cool shit!!! Not fair!), but on the other hand, when I do sit still long enough to watch the copy of “Lust In The Dust” that Stinkeye sent me for my birthday, along with a beautifully-framed picture of Lanie Kazan and Divine (with, of course, “Annti” under DIVINE, and “Stinkeye” under LANIE, like THAT’S fair!!!) — I’ll be thinking of you the whole time, Scott.
I just hope that the imagery induced in the above description doesn’t invoke a nausea in you to rival that in S.Z.’s kitten.
Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy joy joy joyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Left by AnntichristSCoulter on October 30th, 2006

Scott, Happy Birthday, man…what did ya get?

Left by actor212 on October 30th, 2006

Haapy (a few days late) Birthday, scott. I’d have posted this sooner, but I’ve had the Cold From Hell™ for the last several days abd have been posting fairly lightly for me. It’s bad enough that my nasal passages and sinuses are overrun with phlegm stalactites and stalagmites, but on top of that, my nose is bleeding like a stuck pig, and decongestants don’t do diddly-squat for clotting globs o’ blood (just thought i’d share the gross). Anyhoo, as the various congestive factors are making it incredibly difficult to breathe, and thus nearly impossible to sleep. Which explains why I’m so damned loopy right now. So, on your birthday, I was likely building up to this lovely state of being. So, again, Happy (belated) Birthday!

Left by Marq on October 31st, 2006

Poor Divine, if he had lived he could’ve played the role of the ceegar-smooching, fascist, sociopathic propagandist who oil slicks off on third world “jaunts.”

Left by TF-MA on November 1st, 2006

Annti, I did that last year on your birthday, ‘member? Can’t list ‘em all again, but it included Dawn French, Joan Cusack, Jane Krakowski, Mike Nelson and Luke Perry (shut up, I think he’s hot.)

Left by Bill S on November 2nd, 2006