The World O' Crap Archive

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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Happy Birthday, Scott!

Yes, it’s the birthday of Scott C., noted blogger, novelist, screenwriter (specializing in fish movies), satirist, martial artist, cat wrangler, humanitarian, and bon vivant.  And a good friend.  So, in his honor, I gathered up some of his favorite things and have posted them here, for all to share.
First, here’s the obligatory photo of a topless Ann Coulter.
Next, here are some words of wisdom from the Oracle of Maine, Pastor J. Grant Swank:
B. Hussein has little actual hands-on foreign relations experience and yet he claims that he has the wisdom to sit down now with leaders of such opposing nations as Syria and North Korea. No need for preparatory modes prior to sitting at the same table with obvious foes to our existence, just sitting near their bodies to presto into the air pleasant conclusions.
That’s certainly something to think about.  And Scott, on your birthday, may you sit near to the bodies of some diminutive dictators and presto into the air some pleasant conclusions of your own.
And just for you, here’s a bonus Swankism:
There is that American public that is so sick of the slick liberal mouthpieces that these common sense folk rivet to the real-life quotient in Sarah Palin.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Or at all, since I have no idea what Swank means by it.  But I do think that riveting to the real-life quotient of Sarah sounds kind of futuristic and Soylent-Greeny, so I’m going to urge all common sense folk to try it.
Next, since we all know how much Scott admires Jonah Goldberg, I wanted to share with you this VDare column by one Matthew Richer, who starts out by acknowledging the debt that he and his fellow racists owe to Jonah:
Back in January, Jonah Goldberg wrote  in National Review Online that if Senator Barack Obama loses the presidential election
“I seriously think certain segments of American political life will become completely unhinged. I can imagine the fear of this social unraveling actually aiding Obama enormously in 2008.” We all know, of course, just which “segments of American political life” Goldberg is referring to so coyly. This “social unraveling” really means race riots.
In, Glenn Greenwald immediately criticizedGoldberg for making such an (allegedly) racist observation. And to my knowledge, Goldberg has not repeated it since. But it is an important question and Jonah Goldberg deserves credit for raising it, however gingerly.
Certainly we should all credit Jonah for this astute observation about the upcoming race riots, but I think the real originator of the idea was Jonah’s political mentor, Charles Manson. 
Yes, back in the 1960s Manson preached to his followers about “helter skelter,” race riots that would lead to the end of all civilization.  I think Jonah should credit Manson next time he writes on this subject.  And I’m sure Manson has many other interesting things to say about the current political race — but for some reason, the LA Times hasn’t given him a column.   But then, Manson’s mother wasn’t Lucianne Goldberg (at least, as far as we know).
Anyway, here’s the conclusion of Mr. Richer’s column:
Some will call it bigoted to prepare ourselves for post-election race riots. But given recent history, it’s all too possible that if Barack Obama loses the presidential election, a large number of black Americans just might become unhinged.
To avoid the bloodshed caused by these unhinged black Americans, we could just cancel the election and say that Obama won — but Mr. Richer points out that there might be riots even if Obama wins, “because blacks have a history of violence in victory.”  So, I guess we were screwed the minute we let a black man run for President.  Let that be a lesson to you about the danger of allowing our country to be multi-racial! 
And no birthday tribute would be complete without inviting one of Scott’s heroes, Dr. Mike Adams. Ph.D., to share a few words with us all.  So, here’s a bit from a recent Dr. Mike column wherein he advises a friend how he should come to God and thereby rid himself of all anger, like Dr. Mike has.  (Yes, Dr. Mike is now apparently a paragon of serenity and love for his fellow man, all thanks to abandoning atheism.)  There’s even a little confession dropped into the story:
Any outbursts of anger you may have displayed during your prolonged battle with God probably pale in comparison with the ones I displayed during my days as a hardened and outspoken atheist. It didn’t help that during that time I badly abused alcohol and used drugs that were intended to fill a gap in my life caused by my rejection of God.
Regardless, I am still having to apologize to people I hurt during that period of my life. But I don’t dwell on it because I understand the origins of that anger. It’s all about separation from God. And once we have the courage to step away from atheism – or the intellectually weaker position of agnosticism – the anger just disappears.
The fact that Dr. Mike is an addict explains a lot.   But the fact that he doesn’t realize that he is still the angriest person in North Carolina indicates that his connection to reality is still pretty tenuous.  Time for some more AA meetings, Dr. Mike!
And lastly, here’s Renew America’s Sher Zieve, who read Scott’s piece about wingnut Godwinism and decided she could all top the pundits cited.
After observing the growth of Barack Hussein Obama’s increasingly militant and dictatorial movement over the last several months, I have — on many occasions — been reminded of the infamous Russian tyrant Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin. [...]
One major difference between Obama and Stalin, however, is that Stalin is said to have gradually increased power within the Soviet Union’s Communist Party. Obama is grabbing it immediately and will keep his power in place via his “Truth Squads,” his militant Obama Youth (as the Nazis had their “Hitler Youth” this is more Hitlerian that Stalinistic) and his national voter fraud unit ACORN.
Thus, Obama is WORSE than Stalin, and is also a lot like Hitler.  He sounds like one heck of a guy.  So, as Pastor Swank said last week, “Beware America, bewaaarrrrre!”
And have a happy birthday, Scott.

Posted by s.z. on Monday, October 27th, 2008 at 4:21 am.

36 Responses to “Happy Birthday, Scott!”

Okay, I need to get drunk now, after reading all that. And I’m not even Scott.
Happy birthday, though, Scott. You rock. Tell you parents thanks, will you? I wouldn’t have made it through the past year without this blog.
I plan to riot if Obama loses, and I’m an albino.
To my eternal shame, I bought that wretched album when it came out on vinyl. I don’t know why, prolly cuz I was wasted on on Seconol and Boones Farm. The same reason why people read Ann Coulter, I bet.
And to my knowledge, Goldberg has not repeated it since. But it is an important question and Jonah Goldberg deserves credit for raising it, however gingerly.
Indeed, it is central to his point!
And happy birthday, Scott!
I plan to riot if Obama loses, and I’m an albino.
I plan to Quiet Riot. I’m a WASP.
Happy birthday Scott!
Now stop making me think of a gingerbread Jonah, or whatever you said.
Obama’s only half black, so I suspect the riots will only be half as violent as these WATB’s think* they’ll be. They are doing such an amazing amount of bedwetting that I think even 1/2 of what they think would still enough to end civilization in their eyes.
* Yes, I realize that using the word “think” is highly illogical in this case; but what can you do?
I have found that if I am close to prestoing into the air my pleasant conclusions too soon, I just need to envision Ann Coulter topless. The only problem is that I also lose not only my erection, but any desire for sex for two weeks.
Anyway, happy birthday Scott.
Judging from the hysteria of right-wing columnists and bloggers, I would predict a riot by white people if Obama is elected. Then I remembered that these are the guys who want somebody to fight in Iraq, as long as it’s not them. I now rest easy knowing that they are all show and no blow.
Happy birthday, Scott!
I think the Oracle of Maine is afflicted with glossolalia.
Hope your birthday is Great Scott!
Wow…Mike Adams claims he used to be an even bigger dick? I don’t see how that’s possible-wouldn’t he have been killed in a bar fight ages ago? By an elderly woman? Who beat him to death with her coin purse?(which, on Mike, could cause severe brain damage-even if it was empty.)
And I’ve given up trying to make sense of the Swanksta. Does he, perhaps live next to some toxic waste sight? I can’t help but think he’s been inhaling some substance that causes dementia and hallucinations.
…Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin…
As opposed to Joseph Bubba-Gump Stalin, apparently. This new wingnut meme where you have to type out everyone’s middle name is great.
All that extra googling just to give themselves a feeble defense against race-baiting when they insist on typing “Barack Hussein Obama.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: WOC has the best commenters anywhere. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTT!
And to my knowledge, Goldberg has not repeated it since. But it is an important question and Jonah Goldberg deserves credit for raising it, however gingerly.
I’m ginger, and I resent the Doughy One being even peripherally branded one of us.
The closest he’s ever gotten to “ginger” is smoothing back his hair without rinsing the Cheetoh-dust off his hands.
Happy birthday, Scott! Thanks for all the funny!
On an unrelated note, I have been honestly shocked at how god-damned racist this country still is. Obama is the least threatening black man since Fat Albert, and even fairly prominent right-bloggers are still pissing their pants in fear that he’ll don a dashiki and afro wig and order his Al Qaeda/Black Panther sleeper cells to activate and rape their wives and daughters.
Honestly, race riots? What fucking planet do these guys live on?
As for Dr. Mike, if God wants me to stop being angry with Him, then maybe He should stop fucking with me.
Happy birthday Scott and SZ and D. Sidhe and all the others here who have birthdays. I love you all, I may not always say happy birthday, but I really am glad I found this blog and all its participants.
Anyway, onto business. You know, if Bush drew huge crowds of inspired, cheering people who willingly came and weren’t paid or dragged or threatened, I’d hate it, sure, but I wouldn’t conclude that there was some Stalinist parallel or that democracy is doomed. I just deem my way of life doomed.
What always strikes me as how the wingnuts seem to have absolutely no understanding of how democracy is supposed to operate. Absolutely no appreciation for it at all.
As for the race riot fears, I’d laugh it off it doesn’t give me concern that as they are now, they will continue to hammer away at Obama even if he is elected to get him ousted. It’ll be Monica Lewinsky/Paula Jones/whitewater x 400.
Oh and I haven’t seen that album cover since my BFF and I used to get high together and rummage through her big sister’s album collection. Stoned, I would look at that cover and really really wonder what on earth that man was thinking.
I didn’t forget.
I just haven’t gotten your present in the mail yet, to send it out to you.
And it’s not on M.O.B. yet ’cause Terrible just put up a great piece on Caribou Barbie’s criminal buds and I’m sleep-deprived because of fucking feral cats.
So, all of that bullshit out of the way, let us all rejoice that humanity has evolved to the point that we have a Scott C. If he’d been born 2 or 300 years ago, he’d have been burned at the stake for witchcraft and/or heresy, so I’m glad that we have him now, to make us laugh and think and occasionally snort soda out of our noses.
And no, I haven’t been fucking feral cats, you perverts, I’m just to the point of CALLING them “fucking feral cats.”
At any rate, I’m damned grateful that you’re on the planet, Scott, and the present should be in the mail any day now. Have I mentioned how much I hate my fucking bank? Yeah, they stole $100 out of my account this month, hence the tardy presents. But I didn’t forget.
Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy joyyyyyy!!!!!!
P.S.: Mentis, honey… hasn’t it been a little while since you’ve been truly “ginger”?
And no, I don’t wanna know if the carpet matches the drapes.
BTW, why is everybody hatin’ on Edgar? WTF is wrong with you people? Okay, so the lipstick was overkill, but fuck, it’s not like he was trying to impersonate Ziggy Stardust or the Dolls.
[...] Also, he’s exactly like Stalin, and Negroes will riot if he loses or wins the election. [...]
I’m planning to riot if my favorite sports team [choose one: Wins/Loses]
Oh, and Happy Birthday Scott!
Am I gonna get Annti in trouble if I say thank you to her for the lovely present? To keep everything even, though, I’m pretty sure the box of cranes I sent to Scott and Mary once upon a time had at least a couple of them folded out of other Hello Kitty origami paper. Yes, Annti, I have lots of Hello Kitty papers. But none shiny, until now! Thank you, dear. :-)
Hey, I’m just glad that you liked them, and hope that they didn’t reek of cigarette smoke and Jack Daniel’s fumes… They were a very special gift to me on my…. sheeeesh, I’m getting senile… 23rd or 24th birthday from my roommate Miriam (Meem) and our friend Jessica, and I’ve held onto them all of these years because they meant something to me. The reason I decided to pass them on to you is that you’re the only person that I know who knows how to do origami! (Plus, teh birfday budget is slightly impaired this year…) I’ve still got the giant handmade card that they gave me, as well as some other Hello Kitty stuff (no idea why Hello Kitty, but at the time, it was hilarious) from the same gift bag.
What I really wanted to get you were these sterling origami crane earrings & pendant from a catalog, but that was way outta my league, so at least I was thinking of better gifts for ya, hon!
And as I already reported, Scott’s gift is en route, and will be forwarded on to LaLa Land as soon as is postally possible. And I hope that he & teh kittehs & Mary will be highly amused by teh results.
BTW, D., I wished you & S.Z. happy birfdays at the appropriate times over to M.O.B., and would love it if y’all would swing by and visit! Just put Scott, SuzyCreamCheese & CCMcGoon’s birfday wishes up, as well.
Swank: There is that American public that is so sick of the slick liberal mouthpieces that these common sense folk rivet to the real-life quotient in Sarah Palin…
I think Sarah could do with a mouthpiece riveted to her quotient, if you know what I mean, or barring that, just rivet her and McCain’s heads together.
Happy Birthday, Scott!
riveting to the real-life quotient
Sure, that’s in the second axiom of that esoteric branch of mathematics called “algebraic focus division”; the “real-life quotient” is a constant, derived from the ratio of the intensity with which a given belief is held and the number of strawmen whose arguments have been demolished by it..
Happy Birthday!
Annti, I consider Edgar Winter to be the finest long-haired skinny albino musician of the ’70′s.
Well, THAT’S some impressive company he’s in!
Just as a side note, I trust y’all noted the fine, upstanding gentlemen planning to kill Obama? Skinhead Nazis, of course.
Yup: it’s them uppity “Second-stringer negras” who are going to cause problems.
happy belated bd scott. (or really early wishes for 2009 ;)
Heh, I do get a fair amount of origami paper in the mail, from people who know I fold and from people who’ve gotten a box of cranes. My partner feels you all are enabling me and would like you guys to knock it off. I consider it recycling, only prettier. Your Hello Kitty paper will be included in boxes for others who need a wish. Though now I know how special they are, one will stay in one of the bowls or jars or vases on my bookcases.
My family tends to send me page of the day origami calenders and are invariably annoyed when I just fold cranes out of them. Some of them have really pretty patterns, and that’s the whole point. There’s a certain beauty in cranes folded from newspaper and magazines, but it takes too much time to get them into squares, and I do already have a few hundred thousand pre-cut squares in shoeboxes. (Though after several years’ practice, I can now freehand cut a perfect square. Even my partner thinks that’s impressive.) I’m delighted with any new paper I can get, and download and print out online origami paper and scrapbook paper by the ton.
I’ve got a silver folded crane necklace, actually already. But people seem to think of me whenever they see them, go figure. :-)
Anyway, sorry to ramble here where probably no one cares, but it’s been kind of a crummy week and the card and paper was a highlight, so thank you, Annti.
Hey, I’m just glad that you liked it.
And if you wanna send me a Hello Kitteh crane, I won’t get mad atcha.
Tell the partner that we’re not “enabling,” we’re THERAPEUTIC!!!
I feel you on the shitty week. I don’t even get to have a Halloween this year, and dammit, I was supposed to get to go to New Orleans again finally!!!
A belated happy birthday, Scott.
Paul at the Aristocrats published a piece on Pastor Swank today and I immediately thought of you guys.
Original comment:
Anyway, onto business. You know, if Bush drew huge crowds of inspired, cheering people who willingly came and weren’t paid or dragged or threatened, I’d hate it, sure, but I wouldn’t conclude that there was some Stalinist parallel or that democracy is doomed.
Swankized using a thesauris:
“Anyway, onto exchange. You value, if Bush extracts mammoth clique of stimulated, enriching people who zealously draw closer and weren’t gratified or dragged or threatened, I’d odium it, sure, but I wouldn’t draw to a close that there was some Stalinist analogous or that democracy is fated . . .’
[...] Also, he’s exactly like Stalin, and the Negroes will riot if he loses the election…or if he wins! [...]

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