Frank is wondering why Josephine the Plumber wasn’t mentioned during the debate. Do the candidates have something against Jane Withers?
–Frank Coniff’s Facebook page
–Frank Coniff’s Facebook page
What have we come to as a nation, when a registered Republican can’t pretend to be an independent in order to ask a loaded question in bad faith? Well, in today’s exercise in pre-fab dudgeon, Jonah demandsthat you answer him! (But you first have to promise that you’re not going to follow up, or pry into any personal stuff and make him all uncomfortable…)
At a John McCain rally in Virginia on Saturday, Tito Munoz had come to face the enemy: the news media, which had declared war on Joe Wurzelbacher.“Why the hell are you going after Joe the Plumber?” he yelled at a group of reporters, including my National Review colleague, Byron York. “Joe the Plumber has an idea. He has a future. He wants to be something else. Why is that wrong?
It’s not wrong at all, Jermaine. In fact, such quintessentially American industries as tabletop gaming and sex reassignment surgery are built upon that very urge.
Who knows what it will do for McCain in the end, but the Joe the Plumber phenomenon is real
If by “real” you mean a not terribly truthful guy standing in his front yard for half a cable news cycle, alternately holding court like an half-witted Alf Landon or glowering into the cameras like that guy from The Shield, and if by “phenomenon” you mean a catchphrase with a life expectancy somewhere between the Macarena and a K-meson.
At the rally, supporters carried handmade signs reading “Phil the Brick Layer” and banners proclaiming “Rose the Teacher.”
Other signs seen at McCain-Palin rallies included, “Jim the Lobbyist,” “Try Metamucil,” and “Show Us Your Mount McKinleys!” Anyway, it seems clear from all the self-labeled archetypes that the Republican ticket has won the votes of America’s local kids TV show hosts. We tried to get a statement from Soupy Sales and Hobo Kelly, but Officer Joe Bolton and Sheriff John stepped in and clubbed us senseless with their nightsticks.
Barack Obama, in contrast, has offered the most rhetorically eloquent defense of collectivism since Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Somebody who loves Jonah should pull him aside and mention that not everybody has read that book by Amity Shlaes blaming FDR for the Great Depression, and there’s still a few people around who actually remember that era (one of them’s running for President) and most Americans don’t regard Social Security as the speartip of Bolshevik revolution, and in general, those of us who live outside the sealed, Biosphere II-like environment of The Corner haven’t yet been fully conditioned to think of FDR as a man who could have been Trotsky if he’d just been a better dancer.
Obama also often articulates a vision of government inspired by the biblical injunction to be our brother’s keeper. Few would dispute the moral message, but many disagree that such religious imperatives are best translated into tax or economic policy. (Where are the separation of church and state fetishists when you need them?)
They’re over there, Jonah, taking personal inventory and wondering if they should really be devoting their pervy leisure hours to fetishizing the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment when they could just as easily be donning two wetsuits and a butt-plug and practicing hilariously incompetent auto-erotic asphyxia.
We’ve heard the candidate himself say that we should agree to higher taxes in the name of “neighborliness,” and that he’d raise the capital gains tax — even if it demonstrably lowered revenues — “for the purposes of fairness.” His “tax cut” for 95% of Americans is in large part a middle-class dole. He will cut checks to millions who pay no income tax at all and call it a tax cut.
Because people who don’t pay federal income taxes don’t pay taxes, because there’s only that one kind. The Lucky Duckies, they’re just like 2/3rds of major American corporations.
Millions of Americans don’t share this vision. They don’t see the economy as a pie, whereby your slice can only get bigger if someone else’s gets smaller. They don’t begrudge the wealthy their wealth; they only ask to be given the same opportunities.
Sally the waitress at my local I-Hop will often stop by my table to refill my coffee cup and murmur dreamily, “All I want out of life is a fair shake and a no-bid contract to provide non-potable, e-coli-infected drinking water to our permanent military facilities in Iraq.”
They look at countries such as France and, rather than envy their socialized medicine and short workweeks, they fear their joblessness and tax policies that punish entrepreneurialism. People like Tito Munoz look at America and see an open path to their own American dream.
I tell ya, dude, there’s nothing scarier than comprehensive health care. That’s why this Halloween, I’m going as hypertension medication with a low co-pay. BRRRRRRR!
It would be nice if the media at least tried to understand this point.Instead, they attacked and belittled a citizen who asked a candidate a question. They think he’s stupid or a liar for not understanding that a promised check from a President Obama is more valuable than some pipe dream about future success.
Exactly. They all obsess about the taxes Joe won’t actually have to pay, the business he doesn’t actually plan to buy, and the plumbing he’s not actually licensed to do. But does anyone mention how much he looks like Lex Luthor’s stupider brother, Lax Luthor? No!
Pah! Latoya was right.
Posted by scott on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008 at 1:10 am.
23 Responses to “Jonah Envies Joe’s Plumbers’ Snake”
His “tax cut” for 95% of Americans is in large part a middle-class dole.
I realize conservatives have to convince their idiot followers of the vital importance of tax cuts for millionaires, but when did they feel the need to insult their poorer constituents so much?
I realize conservatives have to convince their idiot followers of the vital importance of tax cuts for millionaires, but when did they feel the need to insult their poorer constituents so much?
I’m mad about the Em Ess Em inquisition of “Joe” “the” “Plumber” (I don’t even trust Republican articles or conjunctions anymore) m’self: they pillory the man just because he was so convinced of the correctness of his own view, which, needless to add, was the wrong one, that he felt required to make shit up to prove its superiority. That clearly amounts to punishing him just for being a Republican (see Palin, S.; Goldberg, J.).
So let me get this straight:
A Republican pretending to be an independent is fair play, but a Democrat pretending to be an independent is not?
A Republican pretending to be an independent is fair play, but a Democrat pretending to be an independent is not?
Other signs seen at McCain-Palin rallies included, “Jim the Lobbyist,” “Try Metamucil,” and “Show Us Your Mount McKinleys!”
You missed this one, scott.
You missed this one, scott.
So, given that I have seen many, many photos of Jonah Loadpants (much to my displeasure), I find it fascinating that the one distributed with his weekly bleatings is about, oh, I’d say at least 40lbs ago. He should hook up with McGrumpy’s make-up maverick and Bible Spice’s wardrobe consultant if he wants some hints on how to minimize the damage a daily diet of Cheetos does for the ol’ public appearance.
Fudgie looks like Radar O’Reilly after he ate Col. Potter’s horse.
I think he looks like Grant Mitchell of “the Eastenders”. (If you’re familiar with the character, that’s funny.)
Well, of course plumbers have pipe dreams!
Do plumbers dream of leaky sheep?
Um, I think you mean BioDome-II.
Yeah, why can’t we all take more seriously a guy who’s basing his current political position on concerns about marginal differences in his possible future wealth after a series of slow-moving and not-terribly-likely contingencies? Vote McCain, the President you’ll be glad you had now, later.
People like Tito Munoz look at America and see an open path to their own American dream.
Do we know if Tito is a legal citizen?
Do we know if Tito is a legal citizen?
I realize they’re desperate, but since when did Republicans attack atax cut as being socialism?
This is something remarkable we’re witnessing. They’re confronted with a Democratic candidate who’s calling for massive tax cuts, more military action, and greater personal responsibility, and they’re spinning it as socialism. I’ve been heavily invested with fantasies before, but never anything like this.
This is something remarkable we’re witnessing. They’re confronted with a Democratic candidate who’s calling for massive tax cuts, more military action, and greater personal responsibility, and they’re spinning it as socialism. I’ve been heavily invested with fantasies before, but never anything like this.
Here’s an image:http://wonkette.com/politics/upload/2006/07/jonah%20goldberg.jpg
Other signs seen at McCain-Palin rallies included, “Jim the Lobbyist,” “Try Metamucil,” and “Show Us Your Mount McKinleys!”
Shouldn’t the last of those refer instead to “Grand Tetons” (which literally means “big tits”)?
Shouldn’t the last of those refer instead to “Grand Tetons” (which literally means “big tits”)?
“Few would dispute the moral message, but many disagree that such religious imperatives are best translated into tax or economic policy.”
In other words: “Yeah that shit I learned at church and stuff, yeah that’s all good, now gimme yours and his and I’ll at least see that he doesn’t get so hungry he can’t mow my lawn.”
“and that he’d raise the capital gains tax — even if it demonstrably lowered revenues — “for the purposes of fairness.” His “tax cut” for 95% of Americans is in large part a middle-class dole. He will cut checks to millions who pay no income tax at all and call it a tax cut.”
This is so stupid, how on earth can he even believe it? Was he on a Cheetoh overdose when he wrote this?
I mean, first off, someone needs to inform this fool that there’s more than just the uppers and beyond and the middle class. And yes, while we’re looking at that, its nice to see a Republican admit that the wealth is actually controlled by about 1 or 2% of the population. What’s left to dispute is that there is a larger portion of poor than he can see from his bedroom window.
Its also good to see a wingnut admit straight out that his imaginary friends in Beverly Hills and the Bahamas get a big fat tax cut, he does too but when his gardener does, its a dole.
But of course, what’s a wingnut without a lie or two? I want to know, just exactly how raising a tax will cause a lowering of revenue — with proofs by the way.
“They don’t begrudge the wealthy their wealth; they only ask to be given the same opportunities.”
Exactly, but when I wrote Donald Trump and asked if I could have his daddy for awhile, he hasn’t written back. So is Jonah ready to give us the opportunities he had? I wanna know before I die.
In other words: “Yeah that shit I learned at church and stuff, yeah that’s all good, now gimme yours and his and I’ll at least see that he doesn’t get so hungry he can’t mow my lawn.”
“and that he’d raise the capital gains tax — even if it demonstrably lowered revenues — “for the purposes of fairness.” His “tax cut” for 95% of Americans is in large part a middle-class dole. He will cut checks to millions who pay no income tax at all and call it a tax cut.”
This is so stupid, how on earth can he even believe it? Was he on a Cheetoh overdose when he wrote this?
I mean, first off, someone needs to inform this fool that there’s more than just the uppers and beyond and the middle class. And yes, while we’re looking at that, its nice to see a Republican admit that the wealth is actually controlled by about 1 or 2% of the population. What’s left to dispute is that there is a larger portion of poor than he can see from his bedroom window.
Its also good to see a wingnut admit straight out that his imaginary friends in Beverly Hills and the Bahamas get a big fat tax cut, he does too but when his gardener does, its a dole.
But of course, what’s a wingnut without a lie or two? I want to know, just exactly how raising a tax will cause a lowering of revenue — with proofs by the way.
“They don’t begrudge the wealthy their wealth; they only ask to be given the same opportunities.”
Exactly, but when I wrote Donald Trump and asked if I could have his daddy for awhile, he hasn’t written back. So is Jonah ready to give us the opportunities he had? I wanna know before I die.
I’d like to read Jonah’s explanation of the charts that show how income & general prosperity go up up up during Dem administrations, and TANK during the Repug’s. I assume his explanation would be gibberish, but it might be good for a laugh or two.
I’d like to read Jonah’s explanation of the charts that show how income & general prosperity go up up up during Dem administrations, and TANK during the Repug’s.
Curiously, I asked him that very question and this was his response…
*scanning notes*
“Math is hard! Let’s go shopping!”
Curiously, I asked him that very question and this was his response…
*scanning notes*
“Math is hard! Let’s go shopping!”
I like that term “sex reassignment”
— “since you failed at masturbation, you’re being reassigned to Cleveland Steamers” !
— “since you failed at masturbation, you’re being reassigned to Cleveland Steamers” !
Frederick — I recall from my days of watching game shows that Alaska has a pair of mountains named after Jane Russell !
Indeed, H-Bob, there are!
X-Lax Luther.
Seriously, Joe the Plumber is straight out of 1930′s Germany. Don’t think so?
Just wait.
Just wait.
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