The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

He Thought Of The Perfect Putdown. On The Bus Home

Over at WorldNetDaily, Dennis Prager, “one of America’s most respected and popular nationally syndicated radio talk-show hosts,” conducts a probing, if imaginary interview with Katie Couric, and by the end of it she’s a quivery, sobbing, mascara-streaked mess.  Now I’m no fan of Couric, but the way Prager dominates, even humiliates, her during their fictional colloquy makes it extremely difficult to watch, and I was tempted more than once to turn away.  And yet, these are serious times, voters are confronted by serious issues, and no matter how uncomfortable or strenuous it may prove, we owe it to ourselves and our country to face the fake truth.
Just as Charlie Gibson did in his interview with Sarah Palin, Katie Couric set out to humiliate the Republican vice-presidential candidate with a series of “gotcha” questions.
Like, “What’s your zip code?”  “Name three members of your immediate family.”  And, “if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you like to see Senator Obama lynched from after you’ve worked your supporters into a bloodthirsty rage?”
This tactic – rarely employed with major liberal candidates – could be used equally effectively against Couric, or most any other liberal member of the television news media. It would be highly instructive to have Couric asked questions in the same way in which she (and Gibson) asked questions of Palin.
Before we enter the voting booth this November 4th, it’s important that we all know exactly what kind of vice president Katie Couric would make.
Q: Critics of the war in Iraq argue that prior to the invasion of Iraq, America had never attacked a country that had no plans to attack it. How, then, do you explain the Korean War?
Wait, wait, I’ve got a better one…You say man evolved from apes.  Well then, how come we still have monkeys?  Explain that!
On my radio show, I have asked this question of some of the most celebrated names among liberal intellectuals, and they had little or nothing to say.
“Some would look at me pityingly, or glance at their watch, but most just sighed heavily and reached for a blunt object…”
Q: Many Americans believe that the most important way of understanding the effects of taxation on government revenues is the Laffer Curve. What is your opinion about this?
I’d say “many Americans” couldn’t tell a Laffer Curve from Kim Kardashian’s ass.
Anyway, Dennis has other hard-hitting Queries for Katie, like “Q: Is there any point in a woman’s pregnancy at which you would call an abortion immoral?” because with constitutional government now a quaint and obsolete concept, power belongs to whoever can grab it, and for all we know, by this time next year Supreme Court justices will be nominated by a conclave of former morning show hosts and confirmed by a two thirds majority of the judges on American Idol.  He also wants to know what Katie’s favorite Federalist Paper is (personally, Dennis likes “the Cute One,” but Charlie Gibson likes “the Quiet One”).
Q: In a question to Palin, you said that “women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes.” If that is so, why don’t employers only hire women whenever possible?
“A prostitute standing on a street corner charges 50 dollars for a blowjob.  A man, whose manufacturing job has been recently outsourced to India, opens his own business on the opposite corner, offering blowjobs for 30 dollars.  Now, my mastery of economic theory, as expressed in crude line drawings, demonstrates that any rational consumer would buy sexual services from the man, because the lower cost per blowjob translates into increased purchasing power, and thus more blowjobs!
I defy you to prove me wrong.”
Q: What did you think of any articles in the most recent issues of Commentary, The Weekly Standard, National Review or any other conservative journal? Or do you only read liberal writing?
Because believe you me, there’s nothing funnier than William Kristol expounding on military strategy like Sun Tzu with a disabling head wound.
So, now that the mainstream media has gotten a taste of their own Gotcha!, which questions would you like to ask Dennis?
Posted by scott on October 7th, 2008

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